Reading Reviews From Member: Akussa
613 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AkussaRabbit Heart: 4. Hearts and Minds

8th November 2015:

Alright I'm slowly working on this story, reading a couple chapters at a time and review as a whole. I have not read the next chapter so I might be wrong but I feel like we just closed a story arc.

The characters are really, really interesting. Wren is interesting, mysterious, real, painful. Clearly something else is going on with her but the melting pot of her gran's illness and clear descend, being a teenager / moving toward adulthood is having an effect on her. I like how she seems to lose her grasp on reality at times, losing the sense of time and her ability to socially interact.
Clearly that can't be her normal ways (a least not that intense) if she has so many close friends. I'm really curious about her.

Albus is really quite sensible. He really cares about her and makes her needs go before his so that is very selfless.

Now my question : is Wren going to be allowed to bring her bunny to Hogwarts?

Alright, there are more pressing questions like who was the boy? What's his story? How does he fit in all this?

So far, I like the flow, the rythm is interesting. No matter how Wren seems to have difficulty keeping her line of thought, you make this enjoyable and easy to follow. I'm really interested in finding out more about this story. I'll read more and review more my dear!


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Review #2, by AkussaMarrow: Six: The Shepard and His Flock

18th October 2015:
Hello again!

Ok, I loved this, no matter if it is still a bit filler. This insight into Lia's family was incredibly well written. All the details of her Da's home, life. The small bits that lets the reader know just enough about why she might have distanced herself from this life and the effect it had on both herself and her Da. Very well done, easy to picture.

I liked Benjy's presence, his clever way of droping informations and, at the same time, whithout even his knowing, letting Lia know that Sirius hasn't blabbed.

Since you ask for CC, I would say that the format is stange at times, comparing to the previous chapters; some sentences seem unfinish (ex : Her velvet bag that was atop the ashes between her feet.) which breaks the rythm at times but it's nothing too big. It does not take away from the great writting.

I hope this story continues, I really enjoy pretty much everything about this : the setting, the strong original characters, the story that might only be starting - has a lot of potential.

Great work!

Akussa (yes, for the last time I'm telling you that the House of horrors is REAL, it is the last time I promiss!!)

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and all the little details that make up Lia's old home life with her Da :) Benjy's great, I think I need to make him come in sooner, give everything a bit more context.

I do love CC and appreciate it! Sounds like my writing style is all over the place, I hope to remedy this soon, thank you got pointing out some of the odd parts.

Yup, definitely continuing this story and I hope you check it out in the future! Thanks for all your amazing reviews &heart


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Review #3, by AkussaMarrow: Five: Pieces of Perfection

17th October 2015:

I agree that this was a filler chapter but I also found that it was a great insight into Lia's personnality. I really enjoyed the moment with Penny, it showed a different, more vulnerable side of her. That she can put her barricades down sometimes.

I have to admit that this chapter felt like a break from the previous one. Like you tried a different way of writing, even more flourished vocabulary and a slight change in your narrative style. Was there a gap between the writting of the previous chapters and this one? It feels different, not better or worst, just different and that takes some adjustments as a reader. I'm not saying to go back on the previous chapters, not at all, I'm just letting you know that there is a break in the writting style.

I enjoyed it a lot though, the character development is fun to read. Great work!!


yep, I will tell you that the House of Horrors is REAL, I just have to!

Author's Response: There's so many gaps in writing this!! Every chapter seems totally unlike the other, and I'm glad you commented on this pet peeve of mine. I hope to clean it up a bit. Thanks :)

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Review #4, by AkussaMarrow: Four: Turning Tables

17th October 2015:
Hello again!

This chapter was good but a bit confusing I must admit. I'm a bit unsure as to why Lia tried this. Her hatred of Sirius seems to be really really deep into her, so deep that she forgets her targets (work or Order related). As for Sirius, well I think you captured him well as well. His reaction was exagerated - although his answer seems to say that he might have just experienced some dark moments. He is definitely very, very proud and is a perfet bully : loves to intimidate and make fun of others but does not deal well at all when the tables are tuned on him (see what I did there :P ).

I like the tid bit into her personnality as she evacuates stress by cleaning and pressing her clothes. Focus on the task, get your hands busy, look good on the exterior and you can pretend like there is no disturbances inside.

It's really interesting altough I have only gotten part of my answer (she furnishes the Order in medical stuff, how great is that!!), I'll have to read more I guess !!

Akussa (I'm repeating myself but the house of horrors is REAL, you and I must deal with this!)

Author's Response: It took my a minute to realize what chapter this even was :/ Yeah I totally agree it's confusing and the build up REALLY missed the mark. I plan on changing like a lot of thing, so I appreciate your feedback here. Her hatred is deep, and I think it needs more backing and build up - so the tension isn't all over the place.

Hehe love your reference of the title. I'm glad you're enjoying Sirius. See I think Sirius is a very dramatic person, I don't see him as chill as his post-Azkaban days. Also, you're right, there's a lot of behind the scenes attacks and deaths that Sirius has experienced and now he's talking to this girl who's throwing his Hogwarts days in his face. Yada yada very layered and over-explained on my end. Basically, yeah, I think I could write this better.

What am I supposed to do with the house of horrors eeep

squish, squish, Ellie

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Review #5, by AkussaMarrow: Three: Blow Me Far Away

17th October 2015:
Hello hello!

Another good chapter! You manage to keep the suspence alive even in the little moments. I really liked how you described the way to get to the Faerie bar : it's original and very true to the spirit of the magic world as described in cannon. Mostly, it feels natural; not exagerated.

Same goes for the description of the ward : it feels natural although strange. Reunions between patients is pretty rare, I definitely can understand why she was feeling nervous and unconfortable when she walked in, especially considering she felt like she had let Emmeline down.

I'm getting more and more interested in fiding out what her role in the Order could be and what her task will be. You have done a great job tickling my curiosity!!

Great work once again, I feel like I will get answers pretty soon, I can't wait!

Akussa (did I tell you that the House of Horrors is REAL!!?? Because it is!!)

Author's Response: Thanks again! Glad my semi-creation seems to fit nicely into canon. Yeah the ward thingy may change - I kind of hate that whole scene :P Glad the intrigue is alive and well :)

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Review #6, by AkussaMarrow: Two: Hit Me With Your Best Shot

17th October 2015:
Hello again!

The mystery keeps on growing, what is this message and why did she receive it??

I have to congratulate you once again of your characterisation. Rarely does Sirius gets portrayed as a real bully (aside from Snape's perspective). People usually make him out to be just a funny guy and, that his victims aren't really angry at him but you give it another spin. A real bully, no matter his motivations are (making others laugh, breaking the boredom, evacuating the stress...), makes real victims and the consequences leave a lasting memory.

It'll be interesting to see how she will get over the pain he caused her in order to learn to work together, I assume.

Once again, a really well written chapter. I like the descriptive aspects of this story, the scene really comes to life and Lia's perceptions, based on her emotions and memories, gives a dark spin to the events.

I noticed a small error though; you write : (in leau of a brain) and it should be (in LIEU of a brain). Nothing big, something pretty much only a real French speaking reader would notice :)

Great work once again! And I was real, the House of Horrors is REAL, for real!!


Author's Response: What is this house or horrors? I hate all things jumping at me and scary, I do not want to visit this house of anything ~has the creeps~

Dun, dun, dun, the plot thickens! What is this message??

Ahh my heart is melting, thank you! I think Sirius' pranks/antics are reckless and sometimes all good and fine, but that doesn't mean other people enjoy/ed it. Especially someone as uptight and Prefectt-y perfectionist like Lia. She cannot stand jokes! Esp when they're hurtful. Sirius never understands the impact of his action actions, and I'm glad you felt that I've captured this other dimension here. I don't think Snape was his only target.

Are you native french - so rad! Thank you!

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Review #7, by AkussaMarrow: One: Dream A Little Dream of Me

17th October 2015:

First things first, I really like the way you opened this chapter. The dream was brilliant; the descriptions, the emotions and the thought process were just so well done. I thought she sounded a little conceit but it works, it's a strong definition of her character. She does think a lot of herself to have dreams of grandeur like this after being employed for only two weeks! It speaks of her determination.

I think you really captured the moment well. When you start a career after long studies, you really feel like you are up for great things and that little things are beneath you. This usually passes rather quickly and you understand that you need to be great at the little things as well as the big ones but Lia clearly hasn't come to that realisation yet!

The introduction of Sirius is well done, leaves a mystery open and now I want to know more; does he really not remember her? Somehow I don't think so.

Well done opening chapter, I enjoyed it a lot. It was fresh and daring; not many people will have a strong character that is slightly arrogant straight up in the first chapter. Kudos!


psst The house of horrors is REAL!!!

Author's Response: Hey Akussa! Thanks for all the lovely, lovely reviews :) This is my NaNo project this year, so I appreciate all your comments so much!

I may be changing the opening of this chapter, but everyone loves it so much ahh -so torn- Lia is definitely conceited, she takes care of herself and that's her tactic. Haha yup, you've got the feelings down as far as feeling amazing and up for anything,m then totally understanding you know nothing when everything hits!

Hehe, he remembers her. I'm glad you enjoyed.


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Review #8, by AkussaAlbus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince: On the Hogwarts Express

12th October 2015:
Hi a tad late!!

I'm a big fan of "first year stories" but most of the time, I get pretty disapointed because authors seem to have difficulties writing the characters as eleven years old kids and not sounding like much older teenagers. You, yourself, succeeded very well in that part.

I really like how young, naive and "radical" the kids sound. By radical I mean that at that age, most kids (like James and Rose) see things black or white, and listen to what their parents are saying as their words are golden.

Albus and Scorpius are so cute, sharing their worries and stories. I really like Scorpius' family story very much, even if it isn't all that cannon. I find it hard to believe that Draco would go over his beliefs so much, even in the future, and marry a muggleborn but I do find it believable that her would get shamed and shun for it.

I'm really excited to find out what house they will get sorted in. I vote for Hufflepuff because neither of them would actually be happy even though they would be happy not to be Slytherins!

Good job so far, it was a fun read!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and no worries about being late! I really like first year stories too and this was my first fan fic! I wanted to make sure that the kids sounded their age, it really bugs me when twelve year olds are written like they're in their mid thirties.

I tried to make James and Rose drastically different from Albus. I exaggerated a lot here and because I wasn't too confident with them as characters yet, I made their opinions more negative than I should have.

Albus and Scorpius are adorable, aren't they? I really love them. Scorpius's family isn't really canon but that's mostly because at the time, I didn't know a lot. Draco didn't marry Pansy like I'd thought and so on and so forth but I just didn't think it would be worth the time to change it. I liked the way everything turned out. Hahaha.

I hope you stop by again! I never considered Hufflepuff but that's actually not a bad idea!

Why didn't I think about that?

Much love,


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Review #9, by AkussaFirst Hand Experience: Chapter 2: Hurried Goodbyes

15th September 2015:

Another short chapter but effective. I can't wait for the mission and the action to officially start.

The detailing of the chicken was well done this time around. I actually want to eat chicken right now and I'm disapointed in my pork receipe for tonight :D

I like how Ginny understands Harry's situation and doesn't act like a childish, girlfriend. Good job on the characterisation.

One little thing I noticed was a spelling error here :

"Soon everything was ready and Harry was on his was back downstairs."; you mean "... on his way downstairs."

Other than that, nothing jumped out at me. Great job so far, and I can't wait to read the rest!


Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for all three of your lovely reviews.

I'd hope the food descriptions were good since I work as a chef. :D

Definitely not the childish girlfriend. She's always struck me as much more mature than that.

Thanks for pointing out the typo. Sometimes my fingers move faster than my brain.


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Review #10, by AkussaFirst Hand Experience: Chapter 1: Announcements Are Made

15th September 2015:
Hello again,

Nice continuation! Altough I would have loved more details in order to visualize the scene a bit more, I like how straight to the point you are.

I'm getting excited about the The Guards of Gorgorth, I hope we'll get more informations later on about what they are doing, their goals, activities... And what the Aurors in mission found out as well

One little detail I forgot to mention in the fist chapter as well; Seamus' last name is spelled "Finnigan" in the books.

Other than that, I enjoyed this chapter, on to the next one!


Author's Response: Hi again,

It's funny you mention the detail. Usually, description is my thing, but in this story I was trying to make it read a bit like an action movie, so I wanted it to be very direct.

There will definitely be tons more information about the Guards of Gorgroth in the upcoming chapters. In fact, chapter 4 should be really where they start to come into play a bit.

Thanks for pointing out that hideous error on Seamus' last name. I'll definitely fix it.


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Review #11, by AkussaFirst Hand Experience: Prologue: Tough Decisions

15th September 2015:

This is an interesting story beginning; straight into the storyline and no beating around the bush, I like that!

I really like how you set the time and situation subtely, giving us an idea of how much time has gone by, what kind of recognition the students had after the war.

One little thing bothered me a little though; I have to admit that I find it strange that the minister would discuss such a private and important thing in the middle of the atrium. Either they get into a private room or cast a privacy charm over themselves but I would change that a little bit.

Other than that, it was all great; I didn't spot any glaring mistakes and so far enjoy your storytelling very much!


Author's Response: Hi there!

I wanted to jump right into the action because I imagined this as sort of similar to an action movie. Very direct. Not a lot of fluff.

I'm glad you liked the little bit of world building in there.

I understand what you're saying about the conversation. I suppose that in my head I imagined them talking and walking as they rushed around dealing with things. I'll think about how I could make it more private though.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #12, by AkussaWhen Rolf Met Luna: When Rolf Met Luna

13th December 2014:

Oh that was such a lovely story. First of all, the characters are both very well done. I really love the personnality you gave Rolf and his back story as well. He seems like such a sweet boy who's life wasn't all that great, no matter how his rich parents tried.
As for Luna, I think you did a wonderful job capturing her personnality. What I love the most though, is the dept you gave her. I love to think that she realises her father might have invented those creatures in order to cope with the loss of his wife and keep his grip on reality.

The descriptions of this story are very well done, I could very well picture the scenery. I wonder though at the beginning if the cream colored road isn't covered with Horklump, a sort of mushrooms that are presented in Newt Scamander's book?

Overall, a great story, I really enjoyed it and found the way you imagined their first meeting very original and real. Good job!


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Review #13, by AkussaDisclosure: Bonding with the Pages

27th October 2014:

I'm here for the review exchange and I'm really glad I got this specific story assigned since I'm a big fan of "missing moments" sort of stories like this one!

I really like this specific moment because it is so pivotal for Ginny; this experience will mark her and change her forever. And it all started so naively. I really liked how you chose for it to be very simple and short. You stopped at the right moment the story. Should the reader not know how this will turn out, there is still the possibility that it's just a really clever and positive diary rather than whet it really is.

I thought you did a wonderful job getting into the mindset of an 11 years old girl; how she imagines the boys laughing behind her back at her action (when, in reality, they hardly took notice of it), how she feels like her world is ending because she made a fool of herself in front of her crush. It's so sweet and yet dramatic when it's you it's happening to!

I really enjoyed this story and didn't spot any grammatical errors. Great job!


Author's Response: Hey! And thank you! :D

Hehe yeah! I agree. It's something one can really explore on. It sounds like a good novel idea. All she really went through with the Diary and when Harry and Fawkes saved her.

*Giggles* thanks. You're right. Boys' attention span aren't all that long anyway. Yet, for a girl, we can't help but over analyze everything - particularly younger ones.

Hehe! Thank you again! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed this!

- Asphodel

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Review #14, by AkussaA Blossoming Romance: Short Dresses, Awful Dates And A Knight With Messy Black Hair

19th May 2014:
Hi again!

Another good chapter, I kile how this story is developing. Terry the creep is really horrible. I'd hate to go on a date with a guy like that. Ok, I HATED going on a date with a guy like that because I already did... Poor Alyssa, plus it's a date arranged by her mother... erg.

Chloe is rather amusing. And Albus is quite the knight in shinning armour. Alyssa will realise it soon enough alrough she seems rather blind to everything regarding him. Stuck in the past and unable to see what is in front of her.

I noticed a couple little errors, mostly missing words like in this sentence :

"...In most cases I would pleased..."

Overall a good chapter, and a story that is developping well.

Author's Response: Hey!

Terry certainly earned the nickname Alyssa gave him. He is horrible! I would hate so too. Oh dear, I hope it ended well with a knight coming to rescue you :) It can't be easy having your mother arrange awful dates, like the creeps she sets Lyss up with. No wonder their relationship is a little rocky at times.

Chloe is one of favourite characters in this to write, mainly because it amuses her that her mother is disapproving of her boyfriend, when she's trying to get Alyssa (Whose nearly a year and a bit older) one. Her and Alyssa's relationships is fun to write as well!

She eventually does realise, but as you said for now she is blind to what he does. Alyssa still thinks of him as the little boy next door who she used to play with. She doesn't see him as the teenage boy that he is. Definitely 100% right!

Thanks again for pointing that out, it's now edited and in the queue again. Thanks for reading and reviewing as well.


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Review #15, by AkussaLet Not the Silence Break: Let Not the Silence Break

14th April 2014:
I read this a while ago, when it was first posted and was very surprised to see that I had not reviewed it. I probably was too overwhelmed with emotions after the first read as I am now.

This story has got to be one of the most powerful I've ever read. It flows so beautifully and grips at your heart with every word. You did a wonderful job conveiing the emotions through the description and to the reader. It felt like I was reading my own thoughts so much that I felt connected to the words and their meaning.

Wonderful work, one that I am pleased to have had the chance to read again, no matter how moving it is.

Author's Response: Ah, thanks so much for coming back and reviewing! That means a lot!

And thank you for your amazing compliments. No one has ever called my writing powerful before. It truly made me blush. This story was something I had to work pretty hard at, so your words mean a lot.

Thanks for coming back. You made me smile.

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Review #16, by AkussaTantrum: Tantrum

14th March 2014:
Hi, I'm here for the balckout bingo round 3!

This was just so, so cute and funny! First off, I love how you got this narrative from the person of George Weasley, horrible little 6 years old! Seriously, I think you really capture the "innocence" and just the naivety of childhhod in this pice. It was very well written.

The ideas of the boys (theaching her to make Ron mad was just hilarious) as to exactly why do we have sisters and their use was brilliant. And Ginny, already the firecracker she was in adolescence! You did a great job making the children themselves as we knew them in the books, keeping their personalities intact but with the added touch of pure happinss and joy of childhood.

Great job with the descriptive also, it was like seeing the owrld through a child's eye. Not too adult in their view of the world, not too much details because kids don't care for that. Just an overall, feel good little story, great job!

Author's Response: Hey!! :D

Hehe thank you :D oh yes, George and Fred weren't very friendly or nice 6 year olds. They were quite mean. :P

Haha Thank you so very much for your review! :D And for your very kind words. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get their characterisation right, so I'm glad to hear that I did. :D

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Review #17, by AkussaFace for the Brave: Face for the Brave

14th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the blackout battle!

You know, I have tears falling on my cheeks right now. And yet, I feel the warm glow of pride in my chess at the same time. I just loved this story so much. Neville finally admittting and acknowledging just how brae he is, just how much he is like his father and mother. A true Gryffindor.

I like how you re-wrote some of the dialogues of this memorable scene. The way I see it, this is what Neville understood in the action, in the raw emotion of the scene. He didn't get all those poetic ways Voldemort tried to worm himself into the crowd; how he tried to break them with his words. He got the jist of it and understood just enough to get his courage up and fight for his fallen friend.

I really enjoyed the narrative, it was different and carried on pure emotion. You got Neville's character spot on and I really enjoyed this greatly, great work!!

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Review #18, by AkussaTask One Challenge: Square One: Square One

14th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the Blackout battle!

I love Neville as a character and you didn't do him justice here. Neville with a memory loss? That is just mean to me!!! Seriously, I loves this story and your Neville, he looked so lost and yet so in controle when he was answering Lloyd's questions that I did not suspect one pbit he was having problems.

I was just going : wow, he's had quite the life after the war! So many great adventures of his own; he's really grown into his own fearless and brave inner Gryffindor! But then, utter sadness. It was all a lie and just like Lloyd, I was completly shocked.

I do wonder what attrocities must have sent him over the edge like that. What he must have suffered through in order to get in that locked cell in the hospital. To get even worst than his own parents. It's just so cruel to imagine that he faced the same fate as them...

I really enjoyed this story. The detailing and descriptions were just perfect and made the scene come to life. I liked the character of Lloyd in the sense that he was very lively and had this very sneaky journalist attitude...

Great work!

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Review #19, by AkussaProgress: Three

14th March 2014:
What a perfect ending. I loved this little story so much, it made me hurt and sad and happy all at the same time.

Your writting style is so great; you just have a way with words that is peotic in a way. Your descriptions of scenery are amazing, all the little details you put in to give the reader a view of the environement are working very well; I definitly fle tlike I was in the shop today, looking around and feeling the excitement of the shopers.

When it comes to the emotions, them too are perfect. You've really done a great job representing the progress of George's grief. I found it especially believable that it wasn't all straight forward because, let's face it, it never really is in life.

Hannah was also a great addition tot his story. I like that she was a relatively minor character that had such a huge impact. By mionr I mean that pre-war, she hardly knew George and Fred for that matter which is why that makes her a perfect fit. She doesn't expect to see the old George coming through because she didn't know him! she just expects to see him become a man.

I erally enjoyed this, it was a pleasure to read and moved me deeply, great, great work.

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Review #20, by AkussaProgress: Two

14th March 2014:
Hi again!

Hannah's presence is a happy surprise. She wouldn't have been my first guess as to who might be helping George move on but she fits perfectly. The pain of losing her mother seems to be still present although she has made some progress herself, clearly she still remember those horrible first months after she died.

Their interractions were really believable. The way you described their reactions as well. How one might speak too harshly and physically see how he might have crossed a line. I really enjoyed that, I felt like I was watching them act out the part rather than just reading about it so much that it was well described.

The part that touched me the most was near the end, when George realised that they are moving forward a bit too fast for his liking. He's now ok with what they are doing but the next step, opening the shop, is still too big in his mind and he can't imagine being there already. That was just perfect.

And then he is finally talking about Fred a bit; just enough so that he will let the others know what he meant to him and what he lost. Another great chapter.

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Review #21, by AkussaProgress: One

14th March 2014:
Wow, so wonderfully beautiful and touching.

Poor George will never be the same for sure; in the first couple of months, it must be horrible for him to even imagine a life without his brother. He would have to know himself as George instead of "Fred and George" and that is a process that is years in the making.

I just really loved all the detailing you put in there when it comes to the descriptions of the scene as well as George's inner struggle. It was raw and so real. Molly (in his mind) is right, he needs to take little step toward moving on but he needs to be ready. I think that the fact that he got inside the shop and then crashed emotionnaly was perfect. It was representative of his progress. One little step and a crash; this is how we get across. Nest time he might be able to look inside one or two boxes before crashing but at least, coming inside the shop will be easier.

Your style was just amazing. It flowed and pulled at my heartstring. Great, great job!

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Review #22, by AkussaBedtime Stories: Bedtime Stories

14th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the blackout bingo!

That must have been the cutest little story I have ever read! Mainly because it is way too close to my reality these days... My daughter is just a tad younger and doesn't care for princess stories so my boyfriend tried the "epic knight story" and it worked; she was just so excited!!! We couldn't put her in bed after though, too much excitement...

You wrote that so well; We could just feel Ron's love for his daughter through the piece. His disbelief that this life is real and his, was just perfect and understandable as well! The descriptions were perfect, I could see Rosie's emotions flicker on her face and that was perfect. Most stories I read with little kids that age, people write them as being able to verbally express their emotions (becasue she's Hermione's kid, she MUST be way in advance!) but you wrote her to be a real child and I really liked that.

The story Ron told was perfect; the word choice and the excitement were spot on. I like how you made him skip some part and adapt some others to protect himself and not just Rose. He is still very much traumatized by this day and I like that you ackwneldge that.

I really liked this story, great job!!

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Review #23, by AkussaTrapped.: Sucking.

7th March 2014:
Hi, I'm here for the review battle / blackout / bingo!

First, I have to tell you that this is the official best summary I've ever read. I felt an imediate need to read this story and you did not disapoint!

Alright, being a canon freak, I have to admit that seing Fred alive made me cringe a little. But as a fan, I have to admit that seeing Fred alive made me really happy.I don't know where I stand on the matter anymore... brains or heart?

I have a good time imagining Seamus as a lawyer in a case of Zonko's vs WWW. The boy that made everything explode being forced to work with the makers of exploding stuff. Fitting.

The descriptions were splendide and made the scene really come to life. I could see myself walking down Diagon Alley by his side.

The idea is quite funny and I will certaintly try and come back to read more and see how this will turn out for poor Seamus. Great job capturing the reader with the summary and keeping him interested with the quality of your writting.

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Review #24, by AkussaA New Life - Speed Dating Entry: A New Chapter in our Lives

7th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the review battle /blackout / bingo!

This was a very interesting story. There aren't enough stories that center around Petunia and show the world through her eyes and thoughts in a realistic way. I really like how you made her human and not just a ball of anger or sadness. She acknowledges her weaknesses and the feelings Harry's intrusion into their lives made her feel. She doesn't try to find excuses about her behavior and make amends; she knows she acted wrongly.

The second part of the story was different and yet just as good. You know, I think that Petunia really loved her husband deeply. I often see her depicted as a victim, afraid of Vernon so she lets him have his way with Harry but I think it's more fitting to imagine her as a loving wife. No matter how horrible she feels about never patching things up with her sister, no matter how bad she feels about the way they treated Harry, she still stands by her man becaue he is the love of her life and makes her happy.

Great story that presented a different view of these characters. I enjoyed it a lot!

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Review #25, by AkussaDeepest Desire: The Mirror of Erised

7th March 2014:
Hi I'm here for the blackout battle / bingo!

What an intersting piece! The format is strange at first but I got used to it eventually. Poor Ginny; this vision of the future you have is pretty grim for her. Everyone she knows has died a horrible death; I think she's allowed to wish for death herself and embrasse it when it comes.

The way you presented it, through the mirror, was original. The descriptives were good and although I couldn't recognize everyone that stood there, I really enjoyed it.

There are two things I noticed through my read and wish to point out to you.

The first thing that ticked me a bit was that theyre was no distinction between the Author's note and the beginning of the story. I personnally think you should either make your author's note bold or add a separation line between the note and the beginning of the story in order for it to be clearer.

"...donít have the scare..."; I believe you mean 'scar'

Overall a good story, original and pretty sad when you put yourself in Ginny's place. I'm very happy suddently that Harry won the war...

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