Hi again! This will be a short review because my daughter is waking up and I honestly don't know when I'll have time to come back :) Once again, brilliant chapter. Your depiction of the feast was perfect. Snape and his declarations, the hat and his warning and the all around descriptions of how so many students are missing was spot on. I like how Seamus seems to have such an important place in your story because it is true, as the only other Gryffindor boy in seventh year, Neville and him would have gotten closer, if only to support each other through this. I do hope that they will forgive Seamus officially soon though! You have set the tone for a very horrible year (in a good way though!) and it will be very interesting to see how you present it. Great work so far, I really enjoy it just as much as I expected I would !!Author's Response: Ah, that's okay. As a mother myself I know all about trying to get things done in those blessed hours when they're asleep. (I love my kids, I really do. But they can be - uh - relentless.) I quite enjoyed writing that feast. The Sorting Hat song was, of course, exhausting, but I thought it was a decent depiction of how it must have felt. So many people missing, so many unsure about what was to come. As for Seamus, well of course they will forgive him. I do however have a reason for this treatment of him which will hopefully become clear later in the story. Thanks again, Mel Report Review
Melian! You know, I've been awaiting this story ever since you mentionned your intention of writting it on the forum (was it a year ago?). I remember being so excited because if there is one person that I just know can write this story accuratly, it's you and now that I've read the first chapter, I know that my expectations were right; you did not disappoint!! First of, I would like to say that you found Neville's voice perfectly. He has just the right amount of self doubt and freshly discovered confidence that you might expect him to have at this point in his life. I really liked the conversation with his Gran and what is implied there, about how she sees him in a new light and how it still surprises him. Everything that covered his beliefs about his classmates was so well done. I like how he clearly doesn't believe that Ron is sick but understands the importance of keeping up the act to protect the Weasleys. The tone of this chapter was great. Not too dark yet but with a heavy feeling of disconfort and foreboding. Great job! I look forward to reading the rest although I do understand that, being occupied like you are, it might take a while. Thanks for taking the time to write this story, it's a big piece of canon that not many people can tackle and succeed at!Author's Response: Hi!! Thankd for the review! It's really lovely to hear from people like you who have been looking forward to this story since I first started talking about it - yes, more than a year ago now. Sigh. That darn OF took me away from fanfiction for a long time, didn't it? Thanks for saying that Neville's characteristion was believable. It's SO important to get him right in a story like this so to have that feedback right off the bat is really encouraging. *beams* There is a LOT of self doubt in him, but that will slowly erode during the year so he can become the warrior we see at the end of DH. (Yes, warrior. I chose that word deliberately.) The mood at Hogwarts, too, was something I really wanted to capture so thanks for saying I did okay there too. It wouldn't have felt like the normal Hogwarts, that's for sure. cheers, Mel Report Review
Hi! I had a couple minutes and decided to continue reading this story. Once again, I'm amazed at how easily I can get back into it everytime. First, I loved the article at the opening. The idea that there is such a mystery and superstition around round 3 and its loosers is great. I can't wait to see who will be eliminated and if this will happen for real (although you did say it happends in the next 200 years, right? are you planning on having a sequel? trilogy? to help me know what'll happen??). I really love Remus and Dora's relationship. They are so in love and you can feel it just by reading how you describe them, their behaviors and choice of words when they adress each other. I'm so pleased that you have them finding some peace together. During their lifetime, they didn't have the chance to enjoy each other and you give them that and I find that wonderful. That being said, you better not kill Dora otherwise, I'll be really, really sad! Remus has had enough to deal with!! All in all, a really great chapter. I enjoyed every second of it and the part where Dora thought about Teddy and her mom was so touching, it made my heart weap. Great chapter!Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for taking so long to answer this. D: I'm so backed up on review responses and am just now getting around to clearing them. Sometimes I just really suck at staying on top of things. Haha, the superstitious six is just a myth perpetuated for the sake of having something to talk about. Since life in Cliodna's Clock gets so monotonous, they have to make up stuff to maintain interest. I'm so pleased that you could feel Dora and Remus's love here. They're one of my favorite ships. ♥ They had such a short time together during their life, like you said, so here they're trying to rebuild. They miss their son terribly, but they're aware that they have to begin to move on. I'm so proud of Tonks for being strong enough to do so. So if she /does/ end up losing the Devil's Duel, at least she'll leave her husband with a few more memories of her beforehand. :') Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Hi! This is your Swap Review and, really sorry that it comes in so late, my Internet stopped working for some obscure reason and for an even more obscure one, it now works perfectly... Moving on, I just loved this story! I'm a huge fan of missing moments types of stories because I just love seeing how different authors interpret a situation that wasn't shown in the books. I had never thought of that particular moment and especially not in the way you did. Having Fred (and George) get their father's approval was so perfect for them. They're the kind of kids that always seem like they don't care what others think or what impacts their decisions might have on others but it's not true and you proved your point completly with this. I think Arthur's reaction was very real; a father (and a mother as well) would always be worried about his children and never wants to see them face failure. A father wishes to protect his children from all that is bad and that might hurt them, physically and emotionnally. And no cocky teenager can understand that, of course! I really like the idea of Fred finding the letter for Godric Gryffindor. Mostly, I love that he discovers yet another secret of the castle just before he leaves, showing that there will always be surprises in life. I noticed one little thing that needs changing. In the letter Fred writes to his Dad, he says that they are going to sell jokes in Hogsmead when in reality, it's on Diagon Alley. Since they already have their premise by the time they leave school (which is the day after this was written) I don't think Fred would mix up the two magical spots! Other then that, it was a brilliant one shot. I enjoyed it a lot and tought you did a great job at portraying Fred and bringing him to understanding his father's reaction. AkussaAuthor's Response: Hi Akussa! Thanks for swapping with me :) I'm glad you liked seeing this side of Fred. I always figured there must be times when he and George feel unsure of themselves, but those moments aren't really shown in the books. And I can definitely imagine Arthur being wary about the idea of them taking such a risk with their business. You're so right about the Hogsmeade thing! Fred never would have mixed that up, but I sure did. I'll go back and edit that as soon as I can. Thanks again for swapping with me, and for the great review! It was really helpful, and I'm so happy you enjoyed the story. --Maggie Report Review
Hi! And oh, what an interesting prologue! But you need to keep this going! I'm already mentally involved in this story and I want to know who this man is, what Harry took from him and how he plans of taking his magic! Rarely have I been so engrossed into a story after just a couple lines but this particular piece just blew my mind. It is so well written, all the attention to small details gave me a very deep understanding of this scene and I already felt invested in these characters (not the test subject though. Although I do wonder how they happened to have given their bodies for the particular study...). Honestly, there is nothing negative to say about this chapter aside from the fact that I want more! I really loved this and hope that you will keep this story going :) Report Review
Hi! I really enjoyed this chapter. The tension and emotion was tangible; you could feel it though the words and the descriptions. Narcissa's vision and understanding was spot on. Her life has taken a turn for the worst when the two people she loves most dearly have engaged into something that is much bigger than them and where they will be considered objects, replacable and disposable. Bellatrix was also very well presented. You managed to give her just the right amount of craziness without falling into the cliche. I'm not a big Katy Perry fan so I didn't know this song but simply reading the lyrics you chose, it fitted perfectly with your story, the mood as well and the rythm of your writing. The parts where there was lyrics didn't break the flow of your chapter so, great job! Definitly a nice chapter, perfectly dark and dramatic, just like I like them :)Author's Response: Hey there, I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for the review and I'm glad you think the lyrics fit! :) Report Review
Hi! I don't know the show this is based on but I do understand the idea behind it and I like it. The flow of this chapter was great. I love this type of "straight to the point" narrative and you really pulled it off brilliantly. Scorpius' inside voice is funny and dramatic to the extreme (which I find hilarious) although it's far from the classic Slytherin type of character (and I like that as well, not cliche). The plan itself is interesting and I can't wait to see how this will turn out for him. I like that he's really trying to organize this as much as possible, enlisting help along the way. Molly's participation was interesting as well and I like that you didn't make her a perfect copy of her father although she is Head Girl and that's how her cousin see her... Great work and a really intersting opening chapter!Author's Response: aw thanks! I'm glad you're liking it so far! I tried to make it a very fluffy story so its good to hear the humor sounds good :) Yeah, I was sick of Molly being the one left out all the time in other fan fictions and I decided to include her in this one :P Thanks for the review, it really means a lot :) -Amanda Report Review
Oh, I just loved this opening chapter so much! I love Molly, for starter, and you really found her voice in this chapter. Reading about this family always puts a smile on my face; to see them all happy (except for Fred) and see that their lives have kept going after the war, it's nice and comforting. I also enjoyed getting to know Audrey; it was fun to see how you presented her, making her a true part of the family, no matter who her husband is (although you did mention he changed a bit :) ). The conversation between the two women touched me a lot. Being 8 months and a half pregnant right now, I really can't imagine how Molly did this so many times!!! The only thing that bothered me a little is how Molly tells Audrey that she's had a hunder sleepless nights. It bothered me because, how can she have seven children and only a hunder sleepless nights when everyone tells me that I should expect that with only one child?? Are British kids that awesome? If so, I'm asking for a refund on the one that's growing in me right now, I don't want to risk it!!! Seriously, that was a lovely chapter and I really want to read more so, I might come back to your thread at some point, it you wish :)Author's Response: Akussa! Hi :) Sorry for taking so long to reply to this lovely review! I love Molly too, can you tell?! So, I'm guessing you've had your baby by now... *stalks you on the forum* Ahhh! You have! :) Congratulations! Now that you've got her, can you understand people doing it more than once? Maybe not *seven* times though. You're right, I should totally revise that to something nearer 12,775 sleepless nights (Bill's about 35 in this story, so let's go with that). I'm glad you enjoyed this first chapter - I just uploaded chapter 6, so if Hanaé gives you any spare moments, feel free to read away! :) Athene xo Report Review
Oh this was such a lovely and hearbreaking story. Being dumped by someone you really love has got to be one of the hardest thing that someone goes through (not THE hardest but at the time, it seems like it!) and you really managed to make Alice's pain believable. And even Frank's too, once you learn the real reason why he broke her heart. I really like how you chose to break the story into three different points fo view. It gives a more rounded feel to this one-shot and really gives you the opportunity to explore the entire situation and give the reader pretty much all the answers he needs. One other thing I really liked is Alice and Mary's friendship. I absolutly love how you described it, and it kind of made me want to know more about these two friends. Frank and Alice are two characters I love and we really don't see enough of them so, it was nice that they were the main characters here. It was a great read, I really enjoyed it a lot! Report Review
I've been wanting to check out this story for a long time now but never got the change to do it. There's no time like Christmas to read a good old Zombie story, right? I really enjoyed this opening chapter and the originality of the idea behind it. Of course Hermione would be the one to come up with the "solution" as to how to reaise the dead. What really touched me though, is the emotional dept that this chapter holds. Hermione and later Ginny's feelings feel true and their pain passes on to the reader. The tone of this chapter keeps this seriousness and emotionally heavy feel from beginning to end and it flows perfectly. I really liked this chapter and can't wait to read the rest!Author's Response: I'm so glad you stopped by to read my zombie story! I'm glad you liked the emotional depth of it, it was something important to me that I really wanted to show, because Obviously Hermione has to be in such a fragile state in order to do something like this. It would only be something that she'd do out of desperation. Thanks again so much for the review! Report Review
Ok, I was certain I had reviewed this chapter already... I've read it, that's for sure so why have I not reviewed it at the time? I absolutly love Molly. Her inside voice is just amazing and her ackwardness with other human beings is great. It's great because it's not happening to me, that is! But the poor girl; her Gran really hated her :P That elf really isn't helping making them feel good about being Squibs hun? I mean, not only do they have to go through this "shame", they are mocked by an elf!! I really liked this chapter and I'm glad to see that their are a couple more for me to read after this one. Happy holidays by the way! Report Review
Wow, I've really fallen behind on this story and I have no idea why! It feels good to be back to it though; I really missed Pippa and Scorpius! First off, the flashback was brilliant. Poor Pippa, she was really destroyed... The way you presented her, broken and lost was really perfect and it explains so much how she became what she is now. The continuation was clear between the hearbroken Pippa and the, erm, hidden behind a wall Pippa (sorry, we have a word for that in French and I can't express it as clearly in English right now for some reason...). Second, Rose? I really like that development! Has she got feelings afterall? I don't think they will really go further in this and become BFFs but I think they might have (or at least Pippa) gained a bit more respect toward one another. My only problem with that scene is that it seems clear that Rose saw Albus push Pippa and yet, she didn't say anything about it. If she'd have wanted to protect her cousin, she wouldn't have told Pippa that she knew so, that is a bit weird to me. Finally, the confrontation between Albus and Pippa was once again brilliant. I love how these two seem to live for those moments and become energized by the fury they feel for the other. I am becoming more and more obsessed with what happened to Albus though, I must admit. Great chapter, I really liked it and I'm glad I can get back to this story! Report Review
Great (and longer!) chapter! First, I really liked the opening with Scorpius and Rose. I loved that Rose felt very insecure and wasn't all brave and hot headed; she followed instructions and it was believable. What I liked most about this chapter though, is the amount of backstory and details that you put in. The points about Arthur's health and how everyone is trying to spare him from stress and the relationship between Rose and her mother being cold and formal. I'm very curious as to who got into the Potter Manor and what this "soon" means. I think it's fair to say that this person either had Harry or Ginny's wand replica so I'm really interested to see what information and discovery Rose will bring into this story! Great chapter. There were a few spelling mistakes in is though, which I don't remember seeing in the other chapters. Not sure if they had been betaed or if it's just that my brains didn't pick them up though!! Great chapter!Author's Response: Hey there! I'm glad you liked this chapter, it was very fun to write. And you have picked up on something there but I'll say no more you'll see in the next chapter. As for the spelling mistakes, I don't use a beta I use a spell-checker. So I guess I'll have to go back and look over them. Thanks again! Report Review
I really liked this piece. Their way of honoring Fred's memory is so perfect; talking about him everyday, remembering all the good times they had with him and sharing these memories with the rest of the world is the best way to keep him alive. I really loved the emotion rollercoaster of this and how they acknowledge that everything always comes back to this one subject that they try to ignore. I noticed a couple little typing errors; nothing major but I just thought I'd point them out to you : "..Slowly, he made his way over to Angeline..."; should be 'Angelina' "...but she moves away from the cooker beore..."; you forgot the 'f' in 'before' That's it. It was a really good read and touched me a lot with all the emotions you managed to pass through to the reader. Great job! Report Review
Aw, I'm not a fan of fluff at all. Except when it comes to Ron and Hermione. This was just so sweet and naive, I loved it from beginning to end. I think you did perfect justice to their relationship and how it evolved through the years. More so, I found you really captured Ron's thoughts and personality through that piece. The way he perceived things and understood the situations felt very real and slightly immature, just the way Ron was. It was really lovely, great job! Oh and the banner is simply wonderful as well, that's really what pulled me into reading this story, no matter if "fluff" was the main category and I usually skip those stories. I'm really glad I didn't skip yours!Author's Response: YOU AREN'T A FAN OF FLUFF? :O ahaha, I'm an avid lover of fluff. It's just so... fluffy! :p Okay, now onto the actual response. ;) Ron and Hermione are just perfect and fluffy, aren't they? ;) I'm so glad you think that I did it justice, it was nerve-wracking to write canon characters! Ron is actually rather hard to writ because he is rather immature (but still loveable!) but then he grows up, but it's v...e...r...y... gradual. :p I saw it in an UFG and jumped on it! I was thinking when I saw it, "THIS IS PERFECT!" inspector. really has some talent! :D I'm glad you didn't skip mine either, thanks for leaving this review and glad you enjoyed it! :D Report Review
Remus doesn't have the words and I can hardly find mine in order to express how this piece made me feel. So short yet so powerful. It amazes me how you can send so many emotions and make us understand so much with so little words. The connection between the two characters, Remus, obviously the second one, and I'm guessing Regulus is the first one, right? Talking about how they should come and get Sirius out of the house (well, that's my understanding anyway!). The ability to express ourselves with written words is amazing and although we, fiction writers (you especially) may find it normal and, if not easy, at least feasible, it really isn't the case for most of the rest of the world. With this piece, you showed just how much words matter and how difficult it can be to express your emotions through them. I really loved it and felt really touched by it; so much that it was very hard for me to write this review. This is your "tag review" that I got yesterday and it took me 24h to find the right words to express how you made me feel and yet, I still find that this doesn't do justice to it. It was a wonderful read, thanks! Definitly Dobby nomination worthy!Author's Response: I think we are all running out of words recently, since I've spent a ridiculous amount of time looking at this review and thinking, "Wow." But anyway. I cheated a bit by just choosing moments, which you Potterheads would understand. I imagine it'd be quite a bit harder to write a full-length, linear story in 500 words. Well done for guessing what the first note was about! You're, like, one of three people who figured it out, because I'm not really that good at this whole plot thing. Random fact: "a godlike science" actually comes from Frankenstein, when the newborn Monster discovers the power of language and stories and thinks "wow, I wish I could do that". It was the inspiration for this fic, so any credit should probably go to Mary Shelley for that idea, not me. Thank you so much for your amazing review - I'm really, really glad you liked this. :) Report Review
What an enjoyable chapter! I really liked the change of scenery and you did a wonderful job describing bits of Bucharest and making it come to life for us. Rose seems like a very interesting character, very relax and sweet but with the determination of a Gryffindor. The way she talked about wands was enticing. I really liked it and we can tell you put a lot of efforts in this. I loved how Ron and Harry put up wards around her flat, that was just perfect! Once again, you leave us on the edge of a cliff. And there are no more chapters left for me to read. I really can't wait for the next chapter to come up; I've really become hooked on this story and this mystery. Great job so far, keep it up!Author's Response: I'm typing up the next chapter right now. My muse has been kind to me this time around. Bucharest is really a beautiful city and the old part, the old center looks to me like something straight out of a Harry Potter book. And Eastern Europe has such a rich and diverse culture and tradition it makes for the perfect home for a wandmaker. Again, thank you for the lovely comments and the feedback! Report Review
Oh, the scene with Hestia's niece was just so sad! You really did a great job conveying it to the reader. I really think someone is messing with Harry on a personal level with this. Everything relates to him pretty closely... I really can't wait to meet Rose. She seems very different from what we normaly see and I really like the idea of her studying wandlore. Great job on this chapter as well, this story is just so interesting!Author's Response: I don't know what makes me happier, the fact that you as a reader are picking up on the clues or the fact that this is logical for somebody else beside myself. :D As for Rose, I wanted a Rose that resembles a young Hermione, with bits and pieces of Ron inside, as opposed to a female Ron who likes to read. In regards to wandlore, I think it's a shame it doesn't get more explored in fanfiction, seeing as canon gives us a lot of information on it and it is such a big part of DH. Report Review
This story keeps getting better and better! I really like how you are telling this story, with mostly dialogues and few descriptions; It goes straight to the point and leavesall the space for your characters to play and develop. I think what I like the most so far is how Scorpius is treated. You didn't bother bringing in a complex story of hatred between him and the two top Aurors and I like that. For this story, it really wasn't necessary and would have kept you away from the focus. Also, I like how your chapters are short, action filled and go by at a very fast pace. Man, first Dedalus now Hestia? There seems to be a patern here... Well, I'll just have to keep reading to find it, won't I?Author's Response: You've noticed my evil pattern of death? Mwhahah. Yeah I'm going to stop now. =) I wanted Scorpius to come into this story as a character that got where he is on his skill and not on family influence, so that he can do what he has to do as an Auror. I'm happy you enjoyed it! Thank you for the lovely comment! Report Review
Hey! Here I am with your review exchange... review...! I really liked this opening chapter a lot. The fact that you jump right into the action like this is a good way to get the readers' hooked. The tid bits of informations you let go through the chapter helped us getting the time periode right and a small idea as to how and who these characters are (more than their names I mean). I find the idea for the story very original and you use it well. There really isn't much to say aside from the fact that you've got me really interested into reading the rest! Oh and that I love Dedalus as well so, I'm sad he's dead but pleased to know that he put up a fight!! I noticed one slight typo. It's very minimal, you might laugh and let is slide, but I wanted to show it to you none the less: "...Ron silenced him with a look.” He was in the Leaky Cauldron..."; your quotation mark is on the wrong word here. It should be : "He was in..." Great opening chapter! I'm most likely going to review the other chapters when I have time :)Author's Response: Hello there! First of all, thank you for the feedback. Second, I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. I think that a good mystery has to let the characters speak for themselves. As for the typing mistake, thank you for pointing it out, I honestly haven't seen it before! =) Report Review
Hi!! Back again after a long wait; it's getting ridiculus on my part... I'm fairly confident I won't turn into a squirell though. I do review when I read; it's the "when I read" part that needs some work! I really loved this chapter. The more personal moments such as the talk between Hermione and her mentor, giving her some motivation to look back on her situation and try to find a way out of it; the exciting fighting scene between Harry, the students and the Blood Order. The balance between action and emotion was well done and made for a great chapter. I particularily liked the ending. Poor Percy seems to be going through some horrible moments and you are doing a great job at describing and translating this to the reader. It will be interesting to see what this memory can unlock and especially how Harry and Ron will react to it. I do hope it will free Percy somehow. Oh and, really? The current minister lacks backbone more than Fudge did? Wow, this must be a very weak government!!! Great job, I really enjoyed and will be back to review some more... eventually...Author's Response: Hi, there! It's been a long time! Nice to see you back. As I look back at the story, this chapter is one that I like a lot. Some fairly important things happen in it, and you seem to have picked up on most of them. Hermione does find her determination to get past her issues with the chair because she realizes how much she's needed. There's an attempt on Harry's life. Percy's scene will turn out to be very central to the plot. He is going through some extremely difficult times, and the reasons aren't immediately apparent. But a lot of that gets cleared up over the next 4 chapters or so. The current Minister doesn't have a large fan club. But it's not necessarily that he's weak, he just isn't inclined to stand up for the right things. I look forward to seeing your lovely reviews again some time soon! Thanks so much! Report Review
Hi again! Honestly, this story keeps getting better and better! I really like how close you keep to canon without giving too much details; just letting us know with a small sentence where, in the original book, this story has gotten. I found the opening scene hilarious! Congrats on coming up with so many clubs for the school!!! Pour Heads though, that must be painfully boring to sit though and just observe all those clubs activities. Getting Penny to come with Amelia was a great idea. I really like how close these two are getting and just how much they seem to really appreciate each other's company. Like I said before, Amelia is a character I really like and I'm glad she has this going for her, at least. But then again, Amelia did put herself is a lot of trouble by confronting Umbridge... The repercussion will be severe for sure; Umbridge is not going to let that slide and will surely keep a close eye on her for a while. Once again, brilliant chapter and I love this story so much! Keep it up although, if I'm not mistaken, you are doing NaNo this year, right? So I'm guessing there will be fewer updates for the coming month. It doesn't matter, good luck on NaNo and get back to this story as soon as you can, I'll be waiting!!Author's Response: I'm glad! It's always good to know a story keeps improving. And I am a stickler for canon; I find evoking the same images and feeling as the books is what fanfiction's about - expanding JKR's universe rather than changing it. I actually got that particular idea about the Heads overseeing clubs from a Marauders fic I read - I can't remember which one, though. And I'm enjoying writing Penny and Amelia's relationship - it's such a different dynamic to what you usually see, given the need for secrecy, but I'm finding it really interesting and rewarding. I am doing NaNo, so it took me a bit to get back into the mentality of this story to answer the review, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now! Only a few days left until I can update this story again - and the new one I've just started...I may be cheating on NaNo a bit, but it's okay if I started the other one during November, right? Once again, thanks for the review and I look forward to seeing you back for the next chapter - whenever that may be! Report Review
I really love how this story is developping and, I really like Amelia as a main character. Her personality and ego are great and really enjoyable. The way you describe everything and how she sees the Slytherins and herself is original and really fun to read. Oh and Oliver's comment about the Ravenclaws being pretentious twats was just hilarious. I'm working on a story around Ravenclaws at the moment and this sentence described my story perfectly!! I really liked the conversation with Umbridge; she is a sneaky little toad and you really capture her personality perfectly. I noticed one little thing and, really, it's just so I can give you some constructive criticism at some point because this story really doesn't need much work at all. During Oliver and Amelia's conversation, you forgot to put a space between two pieces of dialogues which breaks the rythm of your writing. Yep, that's it. Nothing more, nothing worst! It was a great chapter, keep it up!!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply - I kept meaning to, honest. As always, I'm glad you're enjoying reading Amelia as much as I'm enjoying writing her. I love slipping in those little references to the houses and the way they operate, and it's good to know I'm not the only one with those ideas. I hadn't noticed that, and I will definitely go back and fix it when I have time. As always, thank you for the review and for reading! Report Review
That was a really good story! I love all the little details you put in there; really gave this scene a nice feel. Like I could see what the place looked like, all decorated and all! And that last sentence... really nicely done. We all know what's going to happen so there was no need to go further into the story; you made the right choice in stopping there. The one little thing that I will point out (and it's really just so I can give you constructive criticism) is that Harry's accomplishement, waving, isn't really age appropriate. Harry would be 15 months old at that moment and babies usually begin waving around 7 months old... A more appropriate behavior would be for him to stack 3 or 4 blocks onto each other or undress himself; those are things that a baby begins doing around 15-16 months of age. Congrats on getting the story of the month by the way, it is well worth it!!Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's really odd and genuinely amazing when people take the time to review you. I did worry about where to stop, thinking I should stop before they're even in the living room or cut forward to when they are dead but eventually decided to stop there -- it's great that you liked it! Shout out to starryskies55 for originally giving me the idea and mentoring me through my first fic :') Ah the baby waving, I honestly didn't know the specific age when they would start. My mum gave kea very vague answer and I probably shouldn't have taken her word for it. Thank you for telling me, reviews are like extra knowledge! Oh wow. Thank you! I was really suprised, honestly. I didn't think anyone would read it :) Report Review
You know, that was one great date! Kudos on this brilliant way of giving us background informations on both of these girls by the way! I really liked learning more about them both and just how confortable they seemed to be together. It's promissing! It will be interesting to see how Amelia will come out to her parents (mostly her mum because she cares a lot more about here then she does her dad) but the part where she wondered about coming out by owl was pretty funny. I also found it really intersting that her father wants to see her for Christmas. Although I did find her mother's reason was a tad strange to me. She might not be of age in the muggle world but she is still old enought to make her mind and decide where she wants to spend her holiday. I did love their conversation though, you wrote their emotions very well. I noticed one small typing error : "...Unfortunate that Ants turned out to be the dumb child, becase she was a clever old witch.”..."; you forgot the 'u' in 'because' That's it! I'm off to read the next chapter, I can't wait!!Author's Response: Thank you! (and sorry for taking so long to respond to this review) I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and found out quite a lot about my own characters (whoever said the writer makes the characters is a liar) These questions (and more) will hopefully be addressed in chapter 11, though regrettably that will probably have to wait until I finish exams and NaNo... Because she was raised in the Muggle world, Amelia's existence is known to the Muggle authorities and she's subject to the custody arrangement made in the Muggle court - namely, that her father is allowed to see her whenever he wants. Her mother doesn't want to give him any reasons to get the authorities involved. But you're right - Amelia should be old enough to make her own decisions, which of course is the reason she's so annoyed. Wow, I missed that completely! Thanks for pointing that out, and thanks for the review! Report Review
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