Reading Reviews From Member: Akussa
  
621 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AkussaWhen Rolf Met Luna: When Rolf Met Luna

13th December 2014:
Hello!

Oh that was such a lovely story. First of all, the characters are both very well done. I really love the personnality you gave Rolf and his back story as well. He seems like such a sweet boy who's life wasn't all that great, no matter how his rich parents tried.
As for Luna, I think you did a wonderful job capturing her personnality. What I love the most though, is the dept you gave her. I love to think that she realises her father might have invented those creatures in order to cope with the loss of his wife and keep his grip on reality.

The descriptions of this story are very well done, I could very well picture the scenery. I wonder though at the beginning if the cream colored road isn't covered with Horklump, a sort of mushrooms that are presented in Newt Scamander's book?

Overall, a great story, I really enjoyed it and found the way you imagined their first meeting very original and real. Good job!

Akussa

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Review #2, by AkussaPython: Python

13th November 2014:
Hi!
Well that was certainly disturbing... It gave me the chill to imagine someone being so evil to innocents like that.

I really like how you linked this evilness to his childhood though and how he clearly reproduced what he had been put through in his youth. His mum was a nice little lady wasn't she??
I also really like your representation of Slughorn. Although he doesn't have a major role in this, I think you managed to capture him nicely. How he stopped the action but didn't go as far as to give a detention is very representative of him.

Congrats on thsi story, I enjoyed my read!!

Akussa

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Review #3, by AkussaPost-War-Problems - Event 3: Post-War-Problems - Event 3

27th October 2014:
Hi! I'm here on account of the "review the person above you" activity in the Gryffindor CR!

I enjoyed this little story a lot. I was happily surprised by the tone of it; considering it's an after war sotyr, I expected a sad and dramatic story but every aspect in it was humoristic and I like that.

I could just picture Dobby with his many hats and flip flops... with a sock... And what a nice gift it would be for Harry; I can imagine his happiness!

I like how Harry trusts Dobby with such an important task as finding the perfect engagement ring but his reasonning is good. Of course he can't go shopping in the open!
It does feel a bit off though, I must admit, the timing. I don't know, it's probably just me but this seems precipitated.

Anyway, it was a good read and I enjoyed the laugh a lot. Thanks!

Akussa

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review.

As I am sure you can imagine, this was written in under 1 hour for the house cup and I need a lot of time to edit which I didn't do at all in this unfortunately!

That's why there are so many issues with this!

Anyway thanks again!


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Review #4, by AkussaDisclosure: Bonding with the Pages

27th October 2014:
Hi!

I'm here for the review exchange and I'm really glad I got this specific story assigned since I'm a big fan of "missing moments" sort of stories like this one!

I really like this specific moment because it is so pivotal for Ginny; this experience will mark her and change her forever. And it all started so naively. I really liked how you chose for it to be very simple and short. You stopped at the right moment the story. Should the reader not know how this will turn out, there is still the possibility that it's just a really clever and positive diary rather than whet it really is.

I thought you did a wonderful job getting into the mindset of an 11 years old girl; how she imagines the boys laughing behind her back at her action (when, in reality, they hardly took notice of it), how she feels like her world is ending because she made a fool of herself in front of her crush. It's so sweet and yet dramatic when it's you it's happening to!

I really enjoyed this story and didn't spot any grammatical errors. Great job!

Akussa

Author's Response: Hey! And thank you! :D

Hehe yeah! I agree. It's something one can really explore on. It sounds like a good novel idea. All she really went through with the Diary and when Harry and Fawkes saved her.


*Giggles* thanks. You're right. Boys' attention span aren't all that long anyway. Yet, for a girl, we can't help but over analyze everything - particularly younger ones.

Hehe! Thank you again! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed this!


- Asphodel


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Review #5, by AkussaA Blossoming Romance: Short Dresses, Awful Dates And A Knight With Messy Black Hair

19th May 2014:
Hi again!

Another good chapter, I kile how this story is developing. Terry the creep is really horrible. I'd hate to go on a date with a guy like that. Ok, I HATED going on a date with a guy like that because I already did... Poor Alyssa, plus it's a date arranged by her mother... erg.

Chloe is rather amusing. And Albus is quite the knight in shinning armour. Alyssa will realise it soon enough alrough she seems rather blind to everything regarding him. Stuck in the past and unable to see what is in front of her.

I noticed a couple little errors, mostly missing words like in this sentence :

"...In most cases I would pleased..."

Overall a good chapter, and a story that is developping well.

Author's Response: Hey!

Terry certainly earned the nickname Alyssa gave him. He is horrible! I would hate so too. Oh dear, I hope it ended well with a knight coming to rescue you :) It can't be easy having your mother arrange awful dates, like the creeps she sets Lyss up with. No wonder their relationship is a little rocky at times.

Chloe is one of favourite characters in this to write, mainly because it amuses her that her mother is disapproving of her boyfriend, when she's trying to get Alyssa (Whose nearly a year and a bit older) one. Her and Alyssa's relationships is fun to write as well!

She eventually does realise, but as you said for now she is blind to what he does. Alyssa still thinks of him as the little boy next door who she used to play with. She doesn't see him as the teenage boy that he is. Definitely 100% right!

Thanks again for pointing that out, it's now edited and in the queue again. Thanks for reading and reviewing as well.

-Potterfan310


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Review #6, by AkussaLet Not the Silence Break: Let Not the Silence Break

14th April 2014:
I read this a while ago, when it was first posted and was very surprised to see that I had not reviewed it. I probably was too overwhelmed with emotions after the first read as I am now.

This story has got to be one of the most powerful I've ever read. It flows so beautifully and grips at your heart with every word. You did a wonderful job conveiing the emotions through the description and to the reader. It felt like I was reading my own thoughts so much that I felt connected to the words and their meaning.

Wonderful work, one that I am pleased to have had the chance to read again, no matter how moving it is.

Author's Response: Ah, thanks so much for coming back and reviewing! That means a lot!

And thank you for your amazing compliments. No one has ever called my writing powerful before. It truly made me blush. This story was something I had to work pretty hard at, so your words mean a lot.

Thanks for coming back. You made me smile.


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Review #7, by AkussaTantrum: Tantrum

14th March 2014:
Hi, I'm here for the balckout bingo round 3!

This was just so, so cute and funny! First off, I love how you got this narrative from the person of George Weasley, horrible little 6 years old! Seriously, I think you really capture the "innocence" and just the naivety of childhhod in this pice. It was very well written.

The ideas of the boys (theaching her to make Ron mad was just hilarious) as to exactly why do we have sisters and their use was brilliant. And Ginny, already the firecracker she was in adolescence! You did a great job making the children themselves as we knew them in the books, keeping their personalities intact but with the added touch of pure happinss and joy of childhood.

Great job with the descriptive also, it was like seeing the owrld through a child's eye. Not too adult in their view of the world, not too much details because kids don't care for that. Just an overall, feel good little story, great job!

Author's Response: Hey!! :D

Hehe thank you :D oh yes, George and Fred weren't very friendly or nice 6 year olds. They were quite mean. :P

Haha Thank you so very much for your review! :D And for your very kind words. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get their characterisation right, so I'm glad to hear that I did. :D


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Review #8, by AkussaFace for the Brave: Face for the Brave

14th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the blackout battle!

You know, I have tears falling on my cheeks right now. And yet, I feel the warm glow of pride in my chess at the same time. I just loved this story so much. Neville finally admittting and acknowledging just how brae he is, just how much he is like his father and mother. A true Gryffindor.

I like how you re-wrote some of the dialogues of this memorable scene. The way I see it, this is what Neville understood in the action, in the raw emotion of the scene. He didn't get all those poetic ways Voldemort tried to worm himself into the crowd; how he tried to break them with his words. He got the jist of it and understood just enough to get his courage up and fight for his fallen friend.

I really enjoyed the narrative, it was different and carried on pure emotion. You got Neville's character spot on and I really enjoyed this greatly, great work!!

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Review #9, by AkussaTask One Challenge: Square One: Square One

14th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the Blackout battle!

I love Neville as a character and you didn't do him justice here. Neville with a memory loss? That is just mean to me!!! Seriously, I loves this story and your Neville, he looked so lost and yet so in controle when he was answering Lloyd's questions that I did not suspect one pbit he was having problems.

I was just going : wow, he's had quite the life after the war! So many great adventures of his own; he's really grown into his own fearless and brave inner Gryffindor! But then, utter sadness. It was all a lie and just like Lloyd, I was completly shocked.

I do wonder what attrocities must have sent him over the edge like that. What he must have suffered through in order to get in that locked cell in the hospital. To get even worst than his own parents. It's just so cruel to imagine that he faced the same fate as them...

I really enjoyed this story. The detailing and descriptions were just perfect and made the scene come to life. I liked the character of Lloyd in the sense that he was very lively and had this very sneaky journalist attitude...

Great work!

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Review #10, by AkussaProgress: Three

14th March 2014:
What a perfect ending. I loved this little story so much, it made me hurt and sad and happy all at the same time.

Your writting style is so great; you just have a way with words that is peotic in a way. Your descriptions of scenery are amazing, all the little details you put in to give the reader a view of the environement are working very well; I definitly fle tlike I was in the shop today, looking around and feeling the excitement of the shopers.

When it comes to the emotions, them too are perfect. You've really done a great job representing the progress of George's grief. I found it especially believable that it wasn't all straight forward because, let's face it, it never really is in life.

Hannah was also a great addition tot his story. I like that she was a relatively minor character that had such a huge impact. By mionr I mean that pre-war, she hardly knew George and Fred for that matter which is why that makes her a perfect fit. She doesn't expect to see the old George coming through because she didn't know him! she just expects to see him become a man.

I erally enjoyed this, it was a pleasure to read and moved me deeply, great, great work.

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Review #11, by AkussaProgress: Two

14th March 2014:
Hi again!

Hannah's presence is a happy surprise. She wouldn't have been my first guess as to who might be helping George move on but she fits perfectly. The pain of losing her mother seems to be still present although she has made some progress herself, clearly she still remember those horrible first months after she died.

Their interractions were really believable. The way you described their reactions as well. How one might speak too harshly and physically see how he might have crossed a line. I really enjoyed that, I felt like I was watching them act out the part rather than just reading about it so much that it was well described.

The part that touched me the most was near the end, when George realised that they are moving forward a bit too fast for his liking. He's now ok with what they are doing but the next step, opening the shop, is still too big in his mind and he can't imagine being there already. That was just perfect.

And then he is finally talking about Fred a bit; just enough so that he will let the others know what he meant to him and what he lost. Another great chapter.

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Review #12, by AkussaProgress: One

14th March 2014:
Wow, so wonderfully beautiful and touching.

Poor George will never be the same for sure; in the first couple of months, it must be horrible for him to even imagine a life without his brother. He would have to know himself as George instead of "Fred and George" and that is a process that is years in the making.

I just really loved all the detailing you put in there when it comes to the descriptions of the scene as well as George's inner struggle. It was raw and so real. Molly (in his mind) is right, he needs to take little step toward moving on but he needs to be ready. I think that the fact that he got inside the shop and then crashed emotionnaly was perfect. It was representative of his progress. One little step and a crash; this is how we get across. Nest time he might be able to look inside one or two boxes before crashing but at least, coming inside the shop will be easier.

Your style was just amazing. It flowed and pulled at my heartstring. Great, great job!

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Review #13, by AkussaBedtime Stories: Bedtime Stories

14th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the blackout bingo!

That must have been the cutest little story I have ever read! Mainly because it is way too close to my reality these days... My daughter is just a tad younger and doesn't care for princess stories so my boyfriend tried the "epic knight story" and it worked; she was just so excited!!! We couldn't put her in bed after though, too much excitement...

You wrote that so well; We could just feel Ron's love for his daughter through the piece. His disbelief that this life is real and his, was just perfect and understandable as well! The descriptions were perfect, I could see Rosie's emotions flicker on her face and that was perfect. Most stories I read with little kids that age, people write them as being able to verbally express their emotions (becasue she's Hermione's kid, she MUST be way in advance!) but you wrote her to be a real child and I really liked that.

The story Ron told was perfect; the word choice and the excitement were spot on. I like how you made him skip some part and adapt some others to protect himself and not just Rose. He is still very much traumatized by this day and I like that you ackwneldge that.

I really liked this story, great job!!

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Review #14, by AkussaTrapped.: Sucking.

7th March 2014:
Hi, I'm here for the review battle / blackout / bingo!

First, I have to tell you that this is the official best summary I've ever read. I felt an imediate need to read this story and you did not disapoint!

Alright, being a canon freak, I have to admit that seing Fred alive made me cringe a little. But as a fan, I have to admit that seeing Fred alive made me really happy.I don't know where I stand on the matter anymore... brains or heart?

I have a good time imagining Seamus as a lawyer in a case of Zonko's vs WWW. The boy that made everything explode being forced to work with the makers of exploding stuff. Fitting.

The descriptions were splendide and made the scene really come to life. I could see myself walking down Diagon Alley by his side.

The idea is quite funny and I will certaintly try and come back to read more and see how this will turn out for poor Seamus. Great job capturing the reader with the summary and keeping him interested with the quality of your writting.

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Review #15, by AkussaA New Life - Speed Dating Entry: A New Chapter in our Lives

7th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the review battle /blackout / bingo!

This was a very interesting story. There aren't enough stories that center around Petunia and show the world through her eyes and thoughts in a realistic way. I really like how you made her human and not just a ball of anger or sadness. She acknowledges her weaknesses and the feelings Harry's intrusion into their lives made her feel. She doesn't try to find excuses about her behavior and make amends; she knows she acted wrongly.

The second part of the story was different and yet just as good. You know, I think that Petunia really loved her husband deeply. I often see her depicted as a victim, afraid of Vernon so she lets him have his way with Harry but I think it's more fitting to imagine her as a loving wife. No matter how horrible she feels about never patching things up with her sister, no matter how bad she feels about the way they treated Harry, she still stands by her man becaue he is the love of her life and makes her happy.

Great story that presented a different view of these characters. I enjoyed it a lot!

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Review #16, by AkussaDeepest Desire: The Mirror of Erised

7th March 2014:
Hi I'm here for the blackout battle / bingo!

What an intersting piece! The format is strange at first but I got used to it eventually. Poor Ginny; this vision of the future you have is pretty grim for her. Everyone she knows has died a horrible death; I think she's allowed to wish for death herself and embrasse it when it comes.

The way you presented it, through the mirror, was original. The descriptives were good and although I couldn't recognize everyone that stood there, I really enjoyed it.

There are two things I noticed through my read and wish to point out to you.

The first thing that ticked me a bit was that theyre was no distinction between the Author's note and the beginning of the story. I personnally think you should either make your author's note bold or add a separation line between the note and the beginning of the story in order for it to be clearer.

"...don’t have the scare..."; I believe you mean 'scar'

Overall a good story, original and pretty sad when you put yourself in Ginny's place. I'm very happy suddently that Harry won the war...

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Review #17, by AkussaI've Already Walked Away: I've Already Walked Away

7th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the review battle /blackout / Bingo!

Well that was definitly intense and out of the ordinary. I usually read about them fighting before they get together but this idea to have them fight to break up becaue they honestly can't make things work, is good. Accepting that you are too different to ever fit together is very difficult, especially at that age but you make it work. I do have to admit that, when I started reading, I thought that they were adults already because of the maturity of this subject and their introspective qualities.

I spotted a small sentence structure mistake that I wish to point out to you you write :

"...no matter what he says, He’ll always be a pureblood Malfoy and I a blood-traitor..."; first, 'he' shouldn't be capitalised (Scorpius isn't THAT important, I mean, he isn't a god or a king no matter what he may think of himself) and later, I personnaly think there should be a coma around the ending when you say "and I, a blood-traitor".

Overall, great little piece, good job!

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Review #18, by AkussaObliviate: Decisions

7th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the review blackout / bingo thing!

I must first congratulate you on a very amazing idea for this story. It's a missing moment I've always wanted to explore but never felt like I had the right grasp on it.

I really liked the first part of this story; the detailing and the emotions are explored in dept and feel very real. It's simply horrible to imagine how we would feel, having to do this.

I quite liked the memories of how she fell down the stairs and how she told her grandmother. It's a nice addition to the story.

The second part was also very good. I like how they "replaced" their daughter with another magical child without even being aware of the coincidence. I guess they were really supposed to raise magical children!!
It feels a bit rush though, compared to the other part but it's still very enjoyable.

You did a great job and considering this was your first piece of writting, it's even more impressive. My first piece was far less well done!!

Author's Response: Hiya Akussa!
I'm glad you think it was good! Coming from you that is high praise indeed. It's nice to know what you thought, and I'm glad you snogged reading it. I will try to slow the ending down, thank you for pointing it out. Yes, I think they were meant to raise magical children, haha! Must be in their blood.
Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #19, by AkussaQuelques ans après-A few years later: Visite inattendue

6th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the review battle / bingo thing.

This was out of my confort zone, I'll admit. I'm not a Draco / Hermione fan at all but aside from that I enjoyed this story.

What caught my attention was the title; being French, this really called at me! Mainly because, in my personal opinion, I would change it to "Quelques années après (ou plus tard)" which sounds better and is more appropriate (quelques being a bit feminine and "ans" being masculine). That's my personal opinion though, you're allowed to skip over it!!

I like how you kept Hermione in character in the way she presented herself, expressed herself. Draco, well in my mind he's totally out of character but, again, it's my opinion!!

The one thing I think lacked a bit was descriptions. The dialogues were great and engaging but I feel like I don't really have a clear picture of the scene.

Overall, a good story no matter if this isn't what I read normally and how I don't really have anything to compare it to!

Author's Response: Hi!Thanks for the review!

I was off the forums for a while, so sorry for the late reply.

You liked it even thought it was out of your comfort zone? I'm doubly happy now!

Draco and Hermione.I tried my best to keep them closest to Canon, but they're older and more mature now, so there are bound to be changes.

I'm working on my descriptions, so I hope they get better.

Thanks for the review!
Kinnu


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Review #20, by AkussaIcing on the Cake--Part II: Viktor [Speed Dating Entry]: Part II--Viktor [Speed Dating Entry]

6th March 2014:
Hello I'm here for the review battle thing!

Wow, I laughed so much! Your Lavender is so intense! I wonder if she really feels for Viktor or if she just sees the "he's a champion" or "Hermione the nerd got to him first"... Oh and Fleur, nice touch; she's tougher than she looks, I like that!

It was sort of hard to read because of the accent but necessary and nice at the same time. I wouldn't want it any other way because it's representative of canon and I live by that rule! But that doesn't mean it's easy to read or write. You certaintly had a hard time remembering what letters to change and sonorities to adapt and I congratulate you on that.

All in all, that was a very enjoyable little story, it flowed nicely even though it felt rocky at times because of the necessay accent. Good Job!

Author's Response: Hello!

Lavender was really brought to life by my co-writer, Lostmyheart. She's very unique, isn't she? :) In Lostmyheart's Part I, Lavender's pretty hilarious, along with being intense. I just tried to carry some of that over. I thought the intensity would fit well with the Lavender we know from the books.

As for whether she's really into Viktor, that's totally for you to decide. For this story, I felt like she was thinking less about Hermione. Really, she was just feeling awkward at her ex's wedding, and ran into someone who felt the same. But you can read it differently and that's totally fine!

I imagine Lavender/Viktor as a sort of an oddly perfect pair. He hates when girls chase him around, and you can bet that, if he was with Lavender, she would take great pleasure in getting rid of the competition. No problem! He might need someone a little crazy to bring him out of his shell. Plus, Lavender could talk as much as she wanted, even if he doesn't really know what she's talking about (I imagine Hermione did a fair bit of that, when they were dating. I'd have a hard time keeping up with what she had to say, and English is my native language! But he always just went with it). So, it could work.

Thanks! I know it can be hard to read accents, but I did feel like I ought to include them. It was a bit tricky, though. I pity anyone who's ever tried to write Viktor that way for a longer fic, and I would also respect them hugely. It's hard!

Thanks for reading and reviewing. Good luck with the battle!

--Penny



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Review #21, by AkussaPower Gone Awry: The Start of Something New

6th March 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the review battle and this story called to me because, although I've been around this site for over 5 years (gulp) I've never read a story that centered around Salazar Slytherin!!

This did not disapoint in many aspects. First the "old style" of expression; it felt pompous and dated, just like I might imagine an old fool like him to talk and think ! Alright, old fool might be a bit harsh...
I also loved how superior he thinks he is. Not necessarily by his accomplishements but the intrinsec qualities he considers are better than the others' qualities. He doesn't think much on poor Helga, not seeing that although subdues and not too flashy, her way of life is just as valid and great as his.

I also really enjoyed how this was written in first person, something that can be complex at times and yet, you do it like it's the normal way to write a story. Great work, I really enjoyed it!

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Review #22, by AkussaAfter the War: George Weasley

6th March 2014:
Last review of the battle on this story and that's only because there are no more chapters to review because I really had an amazing time reading those four chapters.

And with this last chapter, you have made the tears flow :(

Of course, when I read George's name, I already felt my heart consrict but I was not prepared for how you presented it. The pain and building emotions were palpable and I could feel everything thourhg the descriptions you made.

George has got to be one of hose that lost the most because of that battle. He lost a part of himself and not many people can understand that. No one can ever fill the hole that Fred's absence left but he's a strong man and that is probably the thing I mostly loved about this chapter.

You didn't only show the young man overcome with sadness. Yes, he's going through something horribly hard but I like that you present him as a man that wants to move on. Showing that he won't let that define himself and will try to make a life for himself, no matter how hard it will be, he won't just lament on his loss.

That was such a nice chapter, I really loved it as well. Great read that flowed so nicely. This story was a great find for me tonight!

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Review #23, by AkussaAfter the War: Molly Weasley

6th March 2014:
Hello again!

Ok at first, I have to admit that when I saw Molly's name, I was worried that you were going to write her afterlife as well. I now understand that it's a new beginning for her, one that, although marked by deaths and pains, is finally free of war for real. A life where she isn't supposed to worry for the life of her children on a daily basis.

I just love the idea of Molly doing her rounds; it's such a motherly thing to do. I only have one child and everynight before going to bed, I need to go and watch her sleep for a moment, making sure she's as confortable and peaceful as can be. My boyfriend used to laugh at me but now, he asks me when I come to bed how our daughter is doing. I guess mothers need that reassurance and fathers need to accept it and love us for it!!

I loved the descriptions and the small picture you painted of the Weasleys (and Harry and Hermione) through the eyes of Molly. I could feel the love and it was just spot on, for all of them.

Another wonderful chapter, I highly enjoyed it!

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Review #24, by AkussaAfter the War: Vincent Crabbe, Jr

6th March 2014:
Wow, that was.. heavy. I feel the pain and horrors this boy went through, trying to get his father's approval although he was less than capable.

I really like that you went with this character; he isn't easy to work with. A simple boy really, one that wasn't really constructed as a human being. He was taught to follow and not think for himself and that is hard to write (for me at least). I always feel like I was to shake him and yell at him to grow up and become his own man and not just a sheep!

I think you really did him justice in the sense that no matter how badly his afterlife might turn out to be for him, he will rest and just accept that he, somewhat, deserves what is coming for him. I feel like you mean for him to understand that he wasn't a good human being.

The fact that he was alone was very powerful as well. Simply descriptive and introspective worked well for this character and is representative of his life. You followed your father's views, Voldemorts' Malfoy's. But you never made real connections.

Great chapter.

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Review #25, by AkussaAfter the War: Remus Lupin

6th March 2014:
Hi! I'm here for the battle and although I knew what I was getting into, I was not prepared for the emotions.

I just loved Remus so much and I still haven't gotten over his death to this day. That being said, I think you did a wonderful job making this as "light" as possible; making the transition between death and accepting the he passed over semi-smoothly.

Meeting with James was just a great touch. And how mature he seemed to be, after all these years and how he has come to terms with his own ending. I especially like to think that he was around and never left his friends and his son's sides.

I really like your vision of the afterlife, how it works and how you get to see all those people you had a connection with. Does that mean that they will get to see Peter at some point? Or is he in another "plane" considering the pain he caused them?

All in all that was really beautiful. It was emotional, yes, but not overly and the original setting causes just enough interest to not allow ourself to just curl in a ball and cry all night :P

Great Job!

Review 5/15

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