Oh, my heart. What have you done to it, Lia?
This was such a lovely yet heart wrenching read. The tone of this piece and your choice of words, while seemingly simple, had so much more underneath them. I wanted my heart to break for him, but as I reached the end, it seems as though he'd accepted (maybe even expected?) this outcome, so I also felt hopeful for him and Rose and Scorpius. Guh. This made me feel so many different things at the same time!
Initially I thought the reason why Rose was distant was because they were in a long-term relationship and the chemistry had sort of fizzled, so I was surprised (in a good way) when Scorpius entered the picture. This sort of perspective - a complex sort of love and fondness from a guy's POV (and 2nd person at that!) - is something I don't come across quite often, so this was definitely refreshing!
On a more technical note, there were some minor, minor typos that I noted, though they're nothing a bit of editing can't fix. Besides, they were few and far in between, so they're hardly noticeable, but just something for you to consider, yeah? ;)
I really did enjoy this, Lia! I haven't read FF in a while, and your story reminded me of how much I've missed it. ♥Author's Response: Gill,
Oh dear :( I made you feel something for them, let's put it that way :) I don't seem to be writing happy stories these days. This one, I /had/ to write. I wanted Teddy to get his closure. I honestly felt bad for him in the end, because it's sort of the second time this has happened. Though this relationship was more tentative to begin with. He did expect the outcome, and accepted it too. He knew she didn't love him like he loved her. He knew her heart belonged to someone else, no matter how hard she tried to deny it. He felt that it was better this way - it hurts worse to know that she loves someone else, but is with him. It doesn't make the relationship honest, in my opinion.
That's the thing about requesting reviews for sequels. Rose had feelings for Teddy since she was at Hogwarts (even before then, but she didn't quite understand them). It was Scorpius who pushed her in Teddy's direction, even though he had feelings for her as well. She thought Teddy was what she wanted, but as it turns out, she didn't need him. The one she needed was the one who tried to keep away from her, so that she might be happy, i.e. Scorpius.
I know. I always worry that writing a male's POV may end up slightly feminine sounding :/
Oh, yes. I haven't re-read this fic in a while, but I will go over it when I have the time, and fix them. Thank you for pointing them out.
Yaay! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, Gill :) Thank you for such a lovely review, I really appreciate it!
Guh. No words can describe how much I love the feeling of coming across a very well-written fan fic. ♥ Granted, the review exchange technically brought me here, but still. I'm SO happy I got yours.
I ramble. Obviously
This was utterly moving. Hermione's pain - though given to us in broken flashbacks at this point - was palpable. My heart broke for her and her baby. Your descriptions were divine. I could feel each and every one of them - Hermione's despair, Harry and Ginny's concern, the baby's innocence. This chapter was packed with so much emotion and really set the tone for the story. Such a great start, hun, and I look forward to reading more!
-GillAuthor's Response: *smiles* Thanks! Everything you wrote just made me smile and helped me look at this chapter with fresh eyes and enjoy it because you enjoyed it!
xChar Report Review
What a lovely, lovely entry to the challenge! ♥ I felt like I was floating the entire time I read this. The image you painted was so vivid and beautiful and just... put it this way, you would think that it would be absolutley crushing to be refused twice, but I didn't feel that way when I read this because this just made me feel like a giddy school girl all throughout! I adored your descriptions - sometimes some authors tend to go overboard with it and it ends up with the piece being cheesy, but here, it was just the right amount to make you see and appreciate the scene playing before you.
I dunno if you understood any of my ramblings up there, but suffice it to say this was a gorgeous piece and definitely worthy of placing first in the challenge. :)
♥♥♥Author's Response: Ahhh, I'm SO glad I didn't go overboard! Sometimes I do that, so it's something that I've been trying to stay away from lately. Gah. Flowery words just give me fluffy thoughts, so I tend to use them more than I should. So your review is SO, SO comforting. I can't even tell you how relieved I am.
Gah. You're lovely. I love you. You are a wonderful, beautiful, kind person for going ahead and writing all that. I love you to death.
xx Rin Report Review
OMG I've missed this story! And such brilliant updates, my love! Really love how easy and natural and HILARIOUS the dialogues are... like I can hear them all, and can actually imagine real people having this kind of conversation. Super awesome, and so much fun to read!
Can't decide whether I want to ship Rose/Gorgeous or not, but regardless, they are ADORABLE, and I love how you've written their relationship so far. I think I'll be sad when Gorgeous finally takes Lucy on that date because my heart will break for Rose even if they aren't even together. I dunno, the dynamics between them is just so awesome that I despair over anything that might get in the way of such awesomeness.
Me thinks I've rambled enough. Like I said, the updates have been wonderful and cannot wait for the next chapter!
xx Report Review
This time it was me that shrieked, was a dignified scream in fairness, very manly. - OMG I'M STILL LAUGHING AS I TYPE THIS REVIEW.
"Thanks?" I proffered, part apology, part sincere thanks. - So cute and so James!
Grabbed the first things I saw, merely adding to the artfully disheveled look, - HAHAHAHA he's as bad as Scorpius. :P
Eventful wouldn't even begin to cover this chapter. EPIC might. Yeah, I think epic is just about right. Woo! Go, Frida! ;)
Honestly don't know what else to say except this was HILARO, SO MUCH FUN TO READ, WITTY, ETC. ETC. I think you get the point, yeah?
♥ Report Review
OMG NEW JACK STORY.
Was literally covering my mouth the whole time I was reading this because a.) this was so flipping funny - dialogues, timing, description, everything!, and b.) I'm reading this in the office when am supposed to reading some serious stuff and therefore laughing wouldn't exactly be appropriate.
ANYHOW, -FLAILS SOME MORE-.
Love this. Love James, all cocky and adorable and whatnot. And Sophie seems like such a sweetheart. But Lucy, OMGLUCY. She's EPIC. Amazing. Funny. Beautiful. I'd paste my favorite lines here, but they aren't 12+, so I'm pretty sure you know which ones I'm referring to. :P
Really, though, this story is so YOU, yet still quite different from the others. You're just so darn good at this and now I cannot wait to read more!!!
-flies to the next chapter-
P.S. I MISSED YOUR STORIES LIKE WHOA. Report Review
LOL x A BILLION
OMG YOU GUYS, YOU'RE KILLING ME WITH ALL THE GENIUS AND STUFF. So funny! It's crack!fic at its finest -- I mean, hello? The BEST of the BEST gather to debate this long-standing but extremely important question. Can anything possibly get any better than this? I think NOT!
Seriously though, this was all sorts of hilaro, and saved me from falling asleep at work. :P Jo is brilliant (always will be), and this just makes me superdeeduper excited for the other chapters!
SO. FREAKING. BRILLIANT.
I ♥ you all! You make me so happy. :') Report Review
I swear, if Hannah doesn't move quickly, I'm stealing Neville from her. :P Their bit in this chapter was perfection. Just the right amount of awkwardness and cuteness and angst and squishiness. Om nom nom.
The ten o'clock meeting was something. It was like an emotional roller coaster ride for me. I thought Hannah would take something out of it, feel marginally better or something, but at the same time, I knew it was too soon. That she might not have digested everything yet, and is barely getting started with the process of accepting everything that had happened, or the fact that she can choose to move on and not live in the past. I dunno, I felt quite unsettled after reading the second part. That's not a bad thing, mind you! Really gave me a lot to think about, though not necessarily in this context.
ANYWAY. I RAMBLE. A LOT. As you might have noticed. :P
Lovely chapter as usual, my darling. I cannot wait to find out how the afternoon tea plays out. ;)
Also, how GORGEOUS IS THIS SENTENCE?
Things got too much. It happened a lot, moments that seemed to be okay - average was as good as things got - ruined by one silent slip from the present into the past.
♥ ♥ ♥
xxxAuthor's Response: -squishes-
The Hannah/Neville is just :wub: really. I actually adore it and I never ever say that about anything I write, as I'm sure you're well aware by now. I love writing it and I'm so glad you enjoy reading it too. I'm making her be hesitant because I'm trying to keep it fairly realistic. I'd love to send her swooning off with him but then I'd have to stop myself ever writing again from shame. It's coming, just slowly.
Ooh, interesting. I wrote about the ten o'clock meeting but then I thought it was a bit pointless. It's really only there as filler but if you got something out of it, Hannah's reaction and that of the others, it's obviously working.
Rambling is amazing. Never stop ♥
Oh DRAMA, Gill. Drama. That's all I'm saying about the afternoon tea. Hopefully something a bit heartbreaking too. I'll update soonish hearts;
Thank you so much for yet another stunningly gorgeous review that I can't really say thank you enough for. I love you ever so much.
xx Report Review
WHAT A GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
Honestly, I couldn't have asked for anything better. Albus/Scorpius + Georgia-type fluff = explosion of pure awesome!
Anything you write just makes me smile (and you know how much I need it right now :P).
THANK YOU, MY DARLING. YOU TRULY ARE THE BEST AT THIS. ILY MUCHLY. ♥Author's Response: OMG GILL I LOVE YOU. MERRY CHRISTMAS MY DARLING.
By the way, Scorpius is totally me right now expect he has a gorgeous man to look after him and the last guy I spoke to was like, "Don't hug me, you're sick."
(Or I might be overdramatising. Whatever :P)
Thank you love, I'm glad this cheered you up, even slightly ♥ Report Review
Back to review. :)
Plot - Coming from the prologue, there definitely was a sinister undercurrent to this chapter, even though it was still pretty uneventful (compared to the prologue, that is). I liked the fact that you went away from the usual London populace, it gave a very different feel to the story. I think sometimes we forget that there are other magical communities that have their own problems/issues, making this story all the more fascinating. It should be interesting to see how Brodie and Tonks' relationship develop as they are clearly very different from each other, and how the Muggle and magical world interact to solve the problem.
Characterization - Tonks. I admit that I've never given her much thought as a character, but I thought you wrote her magnificently here. You've managed to take what I do know of her in the books, added your own touch, and created a Tonks so familiar yet so very your own, if that makes sense. And Brodie is turning out to be quite the character, too. XD I absolutely loved the awkwardness between them. He kind of reminds me of Moody albeit a milder version, which would definitely make for very interesting dynamics between the two.
This was a great introductory chapter, as expected. I will definitely be reading on. ;)
Keep up the great work, Lee Anne! In my opinion, you're one of the best and most original authors on HPFF, and I truly, truly enjoy reading any of your work.
GillAuthor's Response: Hiya Gill!
Thank you so much for yet another awesome review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the follow-up chapter. I agree, this installment was definitely a bit slower. In fact, I think that this story is very slow paced, or at least, very condensed, considering that most of the action takes place over the course of several days.
And I'm so happy to hear that you thought the setting was appropriate. In all honesty, I think that the island of Willoway is just as much a main character as Tonks and Brodie. And I have to admit, I do have a certain weakness for creepy settings, haha. ;)
Needless to say, I'm thrilled to hear that you liked my take on Tonks. Like you, I had never given her much notice, but she just seemed to fit the plot of this story perfectly. And you know, I never thought of Brodie as being similar to Moody, but I think you're right! ^_^ He is certainly very uptight and exacting and he will eventually become as much of a mentor to Tonks as old Mad-Eye. ;)
Again, thanks so much for the lovely reviews, Gill! I was absolutely thrilled with your feedback. I hope you have a great holiday! Take care!
celticbard Report Review
Hi, Lee Anne!
I'm sorry this took a while, but I'm finally here to review. Before I go on, I'd like to thank you for requesting a review. I always look forward to reading your work because I always learn something new from them. (:
As requested, I will focus on plot and characterization.
Plot - I have unfortunately not seen the movie The Wicker Man, that's why the concept of this story is all very new and original to me. Starting right smack in the middle was definitely the way to go for a mystery fic. How could I stop reading from here? You've not only captured my interest (not that I'm surprised), but made me want to read through the whole story in one go. XD I definitely cannot wait to find out how everything started and, more importantly, how it will end. The mood was so dark and chilling, and the part when they sang The Cuckoo Song gave me goosebumps. And she has no wand. NO WAND. Oh, dear, I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to be stuck on a really creepy island full of murderous people without your best and only hope for defense. Honestly, as far as plot goes, I have nothing to say except I can't wait to read on! (:
Characterization - Tonks is definitely more subdued here, which is only appropriate, considering the situation she's in. I can still see bits of her (or at least how I know her from the books) peeking through - her anxiety over what Moody would say/think, her self-doubt and some Hufflepuff qualities as well. So, while the Tonks in your prologue was quite different, her characterization was still within the context of the story and still very believable. I'm looking forward to reading more in order to see how her character has developed to this point in the story.
Some lines that I absolutely loved:
Uncurling her bruised legs, she dragged herself out into the fiendish morning sunlight where balmy breezes teased her cheeks. --> Wow. Brilliant description. It really set the mood for the prologue.
...she fought her way through the fragments of recollection and horror that had gathered in her mind the night before. --> I loved how this sentence read and I thought it was very clever.
This was such an awesome start, Lee Anne! And your descriptions... *swoons* They were so well thought of and so appropriate for the mood that I had no trouble picturing the scene in my mind.
See you in the next chapter!
GillAuthor's Response: Hi Gill!
What a fantastic review! Thank you so much! I absolutely adored your feedback. And I really do appreciate all the time you took to read this chapter and share your thoughts with me.
You know, it's actually probably best that you're unfamiliar with the "Wicker Man" film, otherwise the ending of the story would probably be rather obvious. ;) I'm so glad this prologue managed to snag your attention, though. Even though I like starting things off in medias res, I'm always unsure about employing that particular literary technique. I know, for me, as a reader, medias res can sometimes be extremely confusing and off-putting. ;) And I'm thrilled to hear that the atmosphere of this chapter creeped you out. This story is very mystery-driven, although there are certainly some very strong horror elements lurking just beneath the surface.
And yes, Tonks is definitely more subdued here. I was a bit worried about that as well, especially since I'd never written her before. I'm really relieved to hear, however, that you thought her unique personality still shone through.
Again, thank you so much for this unbelievably awesome, fantastic, amazing review, Gill!! Your feedback really put a smile on my face. I hope you have a great week and a wonderful holiday. ^_^ Take care!
celticbard Report Review
Cutest one-shot I've ever read EVER.
Anxious James + drip drip drip = full of win!
James narrowed his coal eyes to the best of his ability, which wasn't much.
^ Best holiday sentence anyone can ever come up with! XD
Really enjoyed this, Molly. I don't think anyone can ever write L/J goodness quite like you.
♥ ♥ ♥ Report Review
Yeah, just... wow.
Honestly, how you managed to pack so much in less than a thousand words is beyond me. I hardly consider myself religious, but I believe you've captured what the true meaning of Christmas is. I never thought of explaining their situation by using the bible as an analogy, but by golly, how you wrote it was spot on.
This was really lovely, Farmgirl. Loved every bit of it, and now I'm even more excited to go home and spend the Christmas holidays with my family.
And oh my goblins, Remus and his socks! That made me giggle out loud. XD
- a very warm and fuzzy GillAuthor's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you! This review made my day almost a year ago when you gave it, and again now when I'm re-reading it. (And yes, I'm so sorry for being slow responding! Life has been crazy!)
I'm so happy you loved the story, and that it made you get in the spirit of the season. That was what I was trying for, so it's always nice to know you achieved what you started out to do.
"Oh my goblins" - I LOVE that saying! THAT made me giggle out loud! Thanks! I needed to smile today!
Thanks for reading, and please come back when I finally get the third chapter of this up! Report Review
Definitely enjoyed this more than the previous chapter, mainly because of how things are moving forward. I especially loved the exchange between Luc and his Mamma - how you managed to show us more about their character through their dialogues. I thought it was executed rather well. Loved this line in particular:
"Don't blame bad blood for your sins, mother. I have none but you to thank for all my character flaws." Luc smiled sweetly at her.
Gotta love Luc. ^_^
Elise. I'm liking her more and more, and while I know next to nothing about courtesans, you've written her internal struggle in such a way that I understand what she's going through. I understand how torn she is between choosing what (or who) is expected of her and what (or who) she really wants. When she was analyzing Guy de Rozette's letter, it really struck me how deep and complex she is. Like she's resisting/rebelling, and inherently wants to choose and do the good thing. The right thing.
Guy de Rozette had offered her an apartment in Paris, a substantial allowance, horses, carriages, servants and the security that would last as long as his interest.
That line pretty much summed up what I believe should be expected from the kind of life she chose. But again, like I previously said, I can feel some sort of resistance from her. Not sure why, but it definitely makes me think about her character more.
And those little details - squibs instead of house elves, how Luc paid Anne to spy on her - just makes this all the more authentic.
There were some oddly phrased sentences here and there, especially at the start of the chapter. It flowed better towards the end, though. I think I like your dialogues the best.
Here are some tiny stuff I picked up that may or may not need fixing. For all we know, I should probably be the one who needs fixing :P:
Elise heard the door open and the stifled footsteps of the maid try to follow her. --> Should it be 'footsteps of the maid as she tried to follow her' or 'footsteps of the maid trying to follow her' or something else?
A man who would provide for her every need and whim while suffering her to she did as she pleased --> Not quite sure I completely understand the second half of this. Perhaps it's missing a word?
Caused quite the with the downstairs maids, I'd say. --> Could this also be missing a word?
I think that's it as far as technicalities go. (:
Honestly, Rita, you're such a brilliant writer! I've read your other stories, and they are so different from this one. It just goes to show your versatility and insane writing skills!
Feel free to re-request and whatnot because I truly enjoy all your stories. So proud of you! Keep up the great work! Report Review
Hi, Rita! Apologies for the delay, but I'm finally here to review. (:
I've been meaning to read this for quite some time now, so when I saw that you'd requested a review for this, I did a little happy dance.
This was fantastic, Rita! I thought the introductions were very intriguing, and you've also managed to establish the main relationships rather well despite the fact that this is only the first chapter. I really want to commend you for being able to pull this period off. I will be the first to admit that I don't read much period fics because I find that I can't really enjoy them if they aren't well written. Tell you what - I definitely enjoyed this. A lot. And I'm actually learning from it. You've definitely displayed your amazing writing skills here. Every word fit the story and the mannerisms/pecularities of that particular period in time.
I've grown quite fond of Elise, especially with the history you've given her thus far. It would be very interesting to see how her relationship with Captain Rigfort and Marie-Cécile develop, and how all of these people and events will lead to the creation of Beauxbaton. Luc, while arrogant for the most part, is really quite endearing. I'm in awe at how you've managed to balance all these characters really well.
Technically, the only issue I noticed was that of missing commas here and there, but really, it wasn't too distracting and it's nothing a bit of editing can't fix. (:
Otherwise, I have nothing but praises for this and I look forward to reading the next chapter! Report Review
I enjoyed this chapter very much, Annie! I was gushing all throughout their encounter. I thought you wrote that really well - the dialogue and the mood were just right. This was definitely much lighter than the previous one. It was so sweet, and everything a first encounter should be. ♥
I'm getting a clearer grasp of Hestia's character here - her ambition, her passion for learning. I thought you managed to establish that really well. I really am liking Ryan too, even though I already know about the affair that is to come and should hate him for it. But I can't help it. He's so charming and sincere and lovely here.
So, yeah, in case you haven't noticed, I enjoyed this chapter immensely. No trace of angst here, hun. This left me all warm and fuzzy inside. I apologize for not being more helpful. XD Please feel free to re-request. I'd love to read more after I finish my other request. (:
GillAuthor's Response: Gill! Thank you so much for your kind review!
Ryan and Hestia are such cute little nerds, aren't they? haha Unfortunately, there is a reason both sisters like Ryan so much: he is extremely charming and likable. I'm also surprised how well people seem to pick up on Hestia's character and how much they seem to like her. I didn't mean to write her as a likable character so it's really interesting to see how that turned out.
Yay! for warm and fuzzy here! I can't guarantee that there will be a lot more of that, but I'm glad you enjoyed this bit. Thanks so much for the review dahling, I really appreciate it!
Annie Report Review
Hi, Annie! (:
Okay, so I've actually read this before for the collab, and I like it now just as much as I liked it back then. For such a minor character, I thought you've given her a very solid and very believable story. One of the reasons that this appealed (and still appeals) to me was how human you made her out to be. I feel for her, even though I can't relate to her situation, which goes to show how effective you are with conveying her emotions. Starting right in the middle was definitely a good way to capture the reader's interest. How can one possibly stop reading from here?
One of the concerns you mentioned was that you realized how incredibly sad this was. I'm only one chapter in, and I'll probably be able to answer that later on. However, the level of angst in this one was only appropriate for the dilemma that Hestia is facing. I mean, she was with her sister's husband. I think that merits all the angst in the world, so for this chapter, I don't think it's too angsty.
All in all, I thought it was a hooking introduction to Hestia's story, and right now I'm really intrigued as to why she did such a thing.
Oh, and just a tiny typo I picked up:
'...debilitating case of sunstroke had forced her seek out...' -> I think you're missing a 'to'?
Good job on this one, dear! Hopefully I'll have more for you in the next chapter.
GillAuthor's Response: Gill dahling!
I had no idea you were one of the collab judges! And I'm glad to hear that you connect with Hestia. I think I've said before that I'm a little shocked at how people have been able to sympathize with her because I didn't really perceive her as a very likable character. It's very interesting.
I can promise that the angst level goes WAY up from here (excepting perhaps chapter Two), as we get deeper into the story. Poor Hestia. I've always thought she should get therapy after she finished with all this.
Darn those typos! I've had this through two betas and there was STILL one there. Thanks for pointing it out to me!
Thanks muchly for the great review, Gill!
Annie Report Review
Suave Oliver cracks me up. Bahahaha! He's adorable as anything, he really is. I loved how you alternated between smug and uncomfortable during their conversation. Made it 10x more enjoyable to read.
Favorite line of this chapter:
In ten minutes, he had already managed to eliminate ninety-five percent of the potential possibilities and look good doing it.
That's just so clever! ^_^
I also loved the part when he was explaining why he was looking for the strategist. He sounded so Oliver, ya know?
So, enjoyed this one as much (if not more) than the previous chapter, and on to the next I go!
GillAuthor's Response: Rona's creeper alert is ringing! Way back before I edited it, this conversation was like, oozing smugness and not quite as snappy, so I cleaned *that* up, and I added in extra uncomfortableness because I'm totally abusing the main characters as much as I possibly can 8D Glad that's going over well.
Rambly speech Oliver! That boy and his obsessiveness. It certainly takes him places.
Thanks for another review! :D Report Review
I really should stop reading FF at work, especially one like this which tends to leave me with a perpetual smirk on my face that doesn't bode well with the nature of my work.
Anyway, I ramble. I've actually been stalking your gallery at TDA and saw the banner for this story. Absolutely fell in love with it, though it took me quite a while to actually read this story. xD Geez, I'm rambling again.
ANYWAY (for real this time), absolutely engaging start you've got here! I am a big fan of Oliver Wood stories, especially when well-written, and even though I'm still one chapter in, I can definitely say this is very well-written. I love Rona. She's an adorable character. Strong yet awkward in a way that makes me want to read more about her. Also enjoyed the dynamics between the boys.
So, all in all, interesting and fun start! I mean, Oliver + Quidditch (can't really separate the two, can you?) + snarky OC + a locker room of boys = WIN. Yes? ;)
GillAuthor's Response: Hullo! I know you! Perpetual smirk? Sounds like my characters ehehe. Always smirking at each other and whatnot. It's quite good it took you so long, as I've made plenty of edits since then! :D And now I like it much more.
Another Oliver Wood fan! Never can have enough. Rona's got sort of a brash, socially awkward way about her, something I am quite well-versed in with my rampant loud mouth, heheh. And I've discovered--I love writing guys! And P.S. Locker rooms. It's a theme. ;) Hope you enjoy the rest of it! Report Review
Oh, god, I'm in the office right now (ergo, should not be reading FF in the first place but I just couldn't help myself) and I'm desperately trying not to cry.
But I suppose for someone who's pretty darn good at writing heartwarming stories, I should have been more emotionally prepared. xD I've always thought of Ron as such a happy, boisterous character who never runs out of funny lines to say. This was the COMPLETE opposite, yet you somehow made me believe that this was still the same character, you know? Like you were showing this whole other dimension to him. I think what really sold this side of him to me was when you mentioned the fact that he was a devoted father/family man. That's definitely the adult Ron Weasley in my mind.
I also don't read much AU, but my goodness did this work so well! To have Ron's story told in his squib son's POV is just absolutely heartbreaking, effectively showing us how much Ron's heart had been broken, how much he had grown.
That there is honest to goodness LOVE in all its forms.
GillAuthor's Response: *Hands over box of tissues* So, while I must admit to being overjoyed by the emotion my little tale sparked in you, I need to ask. You didn't get in trouble did you, reading and crying at work? *is worried*
You think I'm good at writing heartwarming stories? Aw, shucks! Thanks!
I agree, Ron has always been happy go lucky and just fun in my mind as well, but I think he'd change if Hermione was ever taken from him. I've read many stories where he changes into a depressed, angry, bitter man because of that, and I wanted to show a different way. I think he'd be more sober and mature, but hopefully still find ways to be Ron. And I felt that love of his children would be the thing to save him in a situation like this. I'm SO glad you agree with me and liked how I did this.
I'm glad you weren't turned off by the AU aspect. I knew this had to be AU. The whole genisis of the story came from the image I had of Ron having to learn to fix all these motherless little girls' hair. Canon just didn't allow for that scene to exist, so I threw it out the window. Besides, I loved how it worked out with Ron's son being a squib.
Thanks so much for such a wonderful review!
I just had to check this out after that very enjoyable experience that was Tete-a-Tete (can't figure out why review box can't seem to handle special characters. Hmph.). You definitely managed to maintain the tension between them. You write Blaise really well. The bit about retaining his skin's natural vibrancy was priceless and made me laugh out loud. There was a time while I was reading this when I was wondering what in the world was wrong with Blaise, throwing all those scathy lines at Hermione. xD All along I thought it was Blaise's fault, so I was pretty curious why he seemed even more... bitter than Hermione, or at least the more pretentious between the two in terms of being all right with whatever had transpired between them. But towards the middle and end, everything clicked into place, and I just went 'Oh. That's why.'
Anyway, not quite sure if that ramble up there made sense, but suffice it to say this definitely made me think about your characters and their history. As usual, the dialogues were well-written, and I still loved your characterization of both Blaise and Hermione. Does this have a third installment? Because I'd definitely love to find out what happens next!
GillAuthor's Response: In theory there's a third installment... I've just been very remiss in terms of actually finalising it XD I always get distracted by those plot bunnies running rampant in my brain. Anyway thank you for yet another lovely review and all of your feedback. I'm thrilled you had fun reading :D Report Review
I have never read this ship before, though it does bear some sort of semblance to Dramione, which I (secretly) enjoy when well-written.
I thought the dialogue intensive format worked rather well for this one, especially in establishing the tension between the two. Too much internal monologue/thoughts/etc wouldn't have been quite as effective. I could definitely imagine Hermione being riled up by his demeanor. I loved your choice of words for Blaise's dialogues. They were very formal and aristocratic, so much like your quintessential Slytherin. Even though you hardly gave any background information about them and whatever their relationship was in the past, I could still feel the weight of their history on me as I read on.
And that ending was brilliant. I mean, honestly, who doesn't love a supremely open-ended one-shot? ;) Oh, the possiblities.
Definitely enjoyed this, in case I haven't made it clear enough. :P Look forward to reading more of your work.
GillAuthor's Response: Thanks for the awesome review Gill :D This was quite a challenge to write at the time because I was quite a descriptive writer - and still am in many ways - but I really had to focus on making dialogue sing in a way I never had before. And truthfully I feel like I learned so much and improved so much after doing this. Kind of made me see the value of it, I guess. I love writing Blaise because he has those Slytherin traits that are so fun to write, but without the very clear Draco-angst. He's a bit more of a blank slate and I always seem to write him in a humorous context. I guess it's just fun :P
Anyway thanks for the review and for stopping by to check out some of my work :D Report Review
So, I was only supposed to read one chapter because I'm at work and therefore, should not even be here in the first place, but wow. Look at that. I'm in chapter 4 already. xD
I don't even know where to begin. Honestly. I feel all sorts of things for this story - and all in a positive light, mind you. ;) I've never read any next gen stories told from Albus' POV, so I'm pretty open with regards to his characterization. I thought you handled him rather brilliantly so far. I love his voice - adore it, actually - and his approach to his story. I know people before me have already pointed this out but still, I love how, even though you just skim through some of the details/parts, I still somehow know what you're talking about, what you're telling me.
I love Eugenie. I really do. She seems perfect, but I know she's not. Far from it, probably. She has the right amount of confidence and innocence for me to also want to keep reading about her. And I thought Scorpius was wonderfully written, too. Just the right sort of Malfoy-ness to him without making him into the cookie cutter sort of Scorpius that I've read one too many times.
I will try my best to leave reviews for the previous chapters, but I simply couldn't resist leaving a review for this one right away because of how much I really am enjoying this so far.
GillAuthor's Response: I totally, totally get that. It takes a lot of willpower for me to even stay on task during class (aka not pull up facebook and such during lectures), so I feel super honored that you procrastinated work with this!
I don't read Albus in Next Gen, either. He never really appealed to me, and everyone seems to write him as a hunky obsession of the main obsessive character, which didn't make that much sense to me. I'm really glad that you like him and his voice, because I certainly did. His approach to the story is, well, rather vague, and I kind of regret that now because there is so much he didn't say, and yet, that's what happened. So I'm relieved that you still understand what he wants to say.
You're one of the few who seems to like Eugenie, even though, especially at this point, I like her a lot. It's important that you recognize that she's not perfect, but it's interesting that you say she's innocent. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't, I don't know. And poor Scorpius :( I do wish he'd gotten more screen time, but he liked talking too much and the chapter was getting very long, so I had to cut him.
Don't worry about previous chapters; this review was perfectly lovely as it is. Thanks so much for stopping by and I hope you continue to enjoy! Report Review
*glomps Rachel and this chapter*
Lovely job as usual, my dear. It was great to read Hannah being preoccupied with something else for a change. Don't get me wrong, her thoughts are infinitely interesting to read, but I thought she deserved the 'break' you gave her at the start of the chapter. Also, Neville. ♥ Honestly, you write him so splendidly. He's my favorite character so far. He seems so straightforward, yet as complex as Hannah in his own brand of suffering. When he was telling her about how the Ministry was not really him, and second-guessing his need for closure… what an insight into his character. I'd never thought of him that way, yet it all makes sense (which I think I'm lacking right now :P).
Daphne is such a joy to read. Her spunk and the way she deals with Hannah is so refreshing. Descriptions were beautiful (again, no surprise there), and I can't wait to see where you take the characters and the plot from here.
This was as thought-provoking as ever, my dear. I don't think a FF has ever made me reflect this much, which is why I love this to pieces. And with a muse as sporadic and uncooperative as mine, you might have just inspired me to write again. ;)
♥Author's Response: -squishes Gill and covers her in apologies for the terribly late reply-
Thank you so much, lovely. Replying to this is part of my thanks for the gorgeous Secret Santa present that I am yet to properly review but will be on ASAP ♥ It truly was a fantastic gift.
She needs the break...and so does the reader, I think. All the angst would make you very depressed!
I love how different people interpret things so differently. For me, a lot of what I write seems so straightforward and obvious, which perhaps is where the doubt in myself comes from, and hearing other people's opinions on what I've done with the characters just really makes me so happy.
I think Neville is deceptively complex. Trying to write him and that deeper side to him whilst keeping him fairly parallel with canon is tricky, but I'm hoping it works.
Thank you so much, Gill. Your reviews never cease to amaze me and I love you so, so much.
♥ ♥ ♥
xxx Report Review
I've been meaning to read this since the time you told me that this was up. This was just... wow. I don't even have the words to convey how utterly moving this was. It was so heartbreaking in the beginning and I thought I would feel that way even when I got to the end, but no, oh no. The ending was truly, truly inspiring.
I know that while tragedy can destroy some people, it can also inspire others to achieve great things. Poppy is one of the most overlooked characters in Potterverse, and I thought you gave her such a phenomenal story that I hope others would get to read. You've somehow convinced me, despite knowing next to nothing about her, that this was what really led her to get into the world of healing.
Honestly, dude, this was really great. Everything flowed smoothly, and the tone was just right. You should definitely be proud of this one.
♥Author's Response: *hugs suuuper tight*
Gosh, Gilly! You have NO IDEA how special this review is. Hahaha. I had a long tough night (hence, my short absence from the cyber world - it's not that noticeable, but I was out all day yesterday :P) and seeing this very sweet review really made me feel better. How come you always have perfect timing? Soulmate senses probably? Heehee. But seriously, dude, thank you very much for this! Just you reading my story is really good enough for me, but you taking time out of your busy schedule to leave me this lovely and rather flattering review really made me happy. ILY, Potpot! *tackles*
I agree that the beginning to this was a little depressing, especially those little flashbacks of her Dad's deterioration. But I felt that I needed to do that to make this story work, you know? And I think it made the ending more satisfying as well. Haha. Glad it worked for you! Yaay! It means a lot for you to say that, because you're one of my fave authors in the archives (and that's not because we're friends, mind you - I truly enjoy your stuff and I admire your talent ^_^).
I know what you meant about tragedy changing a person. Haha. I dunno if it's too obvious, but I'm a rather passive person and I think I'm more of a reactor instead of a catalyst, so it takes a LOT for me to be riled up about my life. My point is, I intended for her to experience such a tragedy (sort of) really young. because I know that it would shape her future decisions and that's kinda the point of the When I Grow Up Challenge (I think :P), so I was sort of projecting myself a little bit right there. Heehee.
And gah! IKR? Poppy Pomfrey is probably one of the obscurest characters in the books and if you think about it, she's practically like an OC as well. I dunno, probs because I'm a nurse too, that's why I feel a special fondness for her. I am sooo happy that this convinced you that she got to be a Healer because of this experience. lol Pardon me for sounding like Freud, but our childhood can really shape who we are and who we'll be in the future, no? :P
And thank you for complimenting the flow and the tone. Gah! I was a little worried of the flow, to be honest, because of the flashbacks and you saying that really made me feel relieved. Hahaha.
You're the best, Gilly! *hugs* Thank you very much! I'll probs be smothering you with more love over the forums as well, so be prepared, kk? Heehee Report Review
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