Reading Reviews From Member: twitchy_pigeons
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by twitchy_pigeonsLockdown: Lockdown

20th February 2015:
Mmm, I love this little one shot. Every now and then it crosses my mind, and it always makes me smile. Very light-hearted and enjoyable. I love your writing style! 10/10. :)

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Review #2, by twitchy_pigeonsCarina: Carina

15th February 2015:
Fascinating. I can see that you put a lot of work into this - it definitely shows. I find it so difficult to believe that Tom Riddle may have ever had any kind of relationship, but twisted as he was, he was still a man. Good story.

Author's Response: Yeah, I think I read somewhere that Tom couldn't love because of the nature of his conception, but he had to have SOMETHING there as a teenager. What teenage boy doesn't? ;)

Thank you for reading and reviewing :)

Dirigible_Plums xo

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Review #3, by twitchy_pigeonsMy Not-So-Imaginary Friend: III: Maybe You Just Need Some Rest

15th February 2015:
I love that you address being a lefty in the wizarding world. It never occurred to me that that could completely screw up the wand movements - and being a lefty myself, that's a very important thing to think about. ;)

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Review #4, by twitchy_pigeonsFriends with Benefits: Friends with Benefits

12th February 2015:
Not bad - the beginning was really well written,
but the grammar deteriorated a tad towards the
middle to end. Otherwise - I like the idea. It's
nice to see a Sirius depicted as wanting a
relationship, instead of running away from one
every chance he gets.

Author's Response: Thanks :) The two parts were written at different times, quite a long time between them. I suppose I didn't edit it enough. I might work on something similar, if ppl like the idea of it.

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Review #5, by twitchy_pigeonsThe process of becoming tamed : Starting again

10th February 2015:
Now THAT is the perfect ending. PERFECT.

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Review #6, by twitchy_pigeonsHow to tame a Marauder: Recovery

9th February 2015:
“Probably just as well, though, because I might have killed him otherwise. I don’t particularly want to spend my life in Azkaban.”

That was cruel. :(

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Review #7, by twitchy_pigeonsHow to tame a Marauder: Settling the score

9th February 2015:
You're always your toughest critic. 10/10 as always.

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Review #8, by twitchy_pigeonsHow to tame a Marauder: Mary

9th February 2015:
Well, I'm over here bawling my eyes out (my husband laughing at me, of course), so clearly you didn't fudge this chapter up. Well written - or else you wouldn't have me crying like this.

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Review #9, by twitchy_pigeonsHow to tame a Marauder: An offer too good to refuse

9th February 2015:
Dipping? Filler-ish? Put us off?

Are you insane?!

One of my absolute favorite HP Marauder fics, I might almost print it so I can read it wherever instead of just on my computer lol.

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Review #10, by twitchy_pigeonsHow to tame a Marauder: Hogsmeade under attack

8th February 2015:
I think it was a great idea - it never occurred to me to really wonder how James ended up as Head Boy, I just figured it was because he was that brilliant. You definitely made him seem on par with the professors, very capable and commanding. Something about Sirius and James fending off a hundred dementors just makes a girl go weak at the knees. :D

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Review #11, by twitchy_pigeonsHow to tame a Marauder: Detention

7th February 2015:
Umm . . . I freaking love this chapter. The deadpanning is perfect. :D Hilarious and well-written, as per usual. I'm so glad I decided to come back and reread this fabulous story - I'm sorry if I've never gushed in any reviews for this story before. I'm a horrible person if today is the only time I've ever commented on this story.

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Review #12, by twitchy_pigeonsHow to tame a Marauder: A task to perform

7th February 2015:
I just have to say that I love love love your portrayal of James, Sirius, Snape, and Lily, and the dynamics between them and all the other characters. So many people go to the extremes with their personalities. You've painted them as humans, not polarizations of their known traits. And of course, James and his stance toward the Dark Arts was perfect. I would take J. Potter for protector any day of the week. :)

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Review #13, by twitchy_pigeonsGift of the Animagi: Part 4

18th December 2014:
"James [brought put] his hand on her chin, [bring] her eyes to meet his." - The first bracket is obvious, the second, probably change it to 'bringing.'

“I should probably go check and see if Elizabeth is [going] okay,” Lily said. “I'll see you guys tomorrow.” She got up and started (up) [towards to] girl's dormitory stairs." - The brackets are explanatory, the 'up' in () I suggest deleting so you don't have any redundancy.

“Now [what] aren't you going home, Miss 20 Questions?” – Again, in brackets.

“She came [done] the stairs, and James couldn't believe how good she looked.”

He looked at her like he could [do play] this game forever. Lily [signed]. – First is obvious, second is a typo.

Now, for my actual review. First off, I hope you're not offended at my editing. You said in your author's note in the first part that you wanted constructive criticism, and I guess I took it quite literally. The story is good, some parts are a little over-simplified (such as when James revealed being an animagus to Lily and she just accepted it outright), but overall, it is a good story. :) Feel free to check out my story - it's a bit longer, but Marauder era, so you may like it.

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Review #14, by twitchy_pigeonsGift of the Animagi: Part 3

18th December 2014:
I'm trying to give you enough of a sentence to work with so you know what I'm talking about ...

"...and [he's] help her with practical Defense spells" - Just a minor typo I'm assuming, should be he'd.

"she tried to [force make] the words come out of her mouth.." One of those things every writer does (myself included) where we forget to delete the word we didn't want when we change a sentence.

“Like I'd [let] my friend alone with that monster" - Leave? Or 'let my friend be alone...'?

“Just so you know, I know you [are] your little friends are hiding something" - I'm guessing that should be 'and'.

"the [think] that would make James the happiest" - Again, we all have that one finger that just doesn't listen... :)

LOVED the "gryffinwhore" - never heard Sirius described that way before - marvelous. ;)

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Review #15, by twitchy_pigeonsGift of the Animagi: Part 2

18th December 2014:
Constructive criticism. Since that is what you have asked for, here is mine. :)

This sentence: "James was so different from the incredibly charming man she'd seen [of him] earlier." is awkward to me. I suggest deleting the part I put in brackets.

"They tried only to use their nicknames when no one was around." I'd switch the 'only' and 'to' so it comes out more naturally.

I like the simplicity of your story so far, and I look forward to seeing what presents those two will come up with. :)

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Review #16, by twitchy_pigeonsThe World is Ending: Revenge Isn't Always So Sweet

2nd July 2014:
Hey! So, it's been a while since I've read this, and it's been a while since you've written. But either way - outstanding work!! Maybe you'll pick it back up? I'm extremely curious to see how things are going to work out between Sirius and Artemis. Well, anyway, love the story as always!!! Message me on fb sometime - I'd love to know how life is going for you. -A.

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Review #17, by twitchy_pigeonsThe World is Ending: Peer Pressure

8th February 2013:
YAY!!! I'm so glad you picked back up on writing! I like to think it has to do with me. :) I assume you'll let me continue in that delusion. I can't wait until your next chapter!! Write fast! :) No pressure or anything. ;)

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Review #18, by twitchy_pigeonsThe World is Ending: The Best Not-Christmas Ever

20th January 2013:
I love your story and I would love love love it if you started writing again...although I would be somewhat mollified if you just told how you'd planned to end it. :)

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Review #19, by twitchy_pigeonsThe World is Ending: Time For a Change

18th January 2013:
I've been rather engrossed in reading your absolutely amazing story, so I haven't gotten around to reviewing like I ought. But I have class tomorrow and Brock is going to come home and yell at me for still being up lol so I'm gonna review before I get kicked off.

I LOVE YOUR STORY. YOU ARE AWESOME, AND I REALLY REALLY HOPE YOU PICK BACK UP ON IT SO I CAN CONTINUE READING. :) Artemis is wonderfully sarcastic, and reminds me of you lol. Sirius sounds like a very yummy dessert I'd love to scarf down...if only he were real, and I wasn't married... I love your transition with Lily and James, the fiery red definitely can't resist a certain someone. :)

Anyway, I regretfully have to go to sleep. But I shall be back tomorrow and reading.

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Review #20, by twitchy_pigeonsThe World is Ending: Lighting the Fire

18th January 2013:
Can't remember if I reviewed this before, but I still love this story. :)

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Review #21, by twitchy_pigeonsI Hate Everything About You, Why Do I Love You?: Why Do I Love You?

31st January 2009:
Oh wow. That was beautiful. I love especially how you have made everything so clear without using words. There's something about no dialogue, that intangibility, that brings you closer to the heart of a story, further into the mind of a character.

Lily is portrayed as such a vulnerable, real person. I've read all of those other stories where she's vicious and angry and then eventually, slowly realizes that she doesn't hate him. But here, it's like she's on the verge of shattering, and every time she pushes him away, she really just wants him to come closer. And here, she's lost him, and it jolts her into that awareness, that terrible fear of losing him.

And then James. I could fall in love with him, if he was the way you paint him. That final defeat, I can see it, the wound, the pain on his face as his shoulders slump, his eyes lose their sparkle, and for once he almost believes that he's lost the most important thing in his life.

A year ago or not, this story is excellent and beautiful and poignant. I'm glad you left names out of the story, too, by the way. Gives this a better sense of the universal theme, that this could happen. Not to mention it leaves out that unnecessary detail that would otherwise distract or detract from the story itself.
Oh, and the song was a very good fit to this. :D

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks a lot for that amazing review!
About dialogue, yes, I do agree that it gives you something different, also from the characters, that's why I left that out, just as well as names. It makes it more, as you say, close.
You've read Lily exactly as I tried to make her. Somehting JKR said once, about Lily not really hating James, kind of got to me and some time later I wrote this, making her different from everything I'd written before. Everyone has a weak point, and here Lily was simply abuot to shatter because of loosing James.
I'm in love with James! Haha, well, he's lost hope too, and I believe if he hadn't gone after Lily this time, it would have been over. They both almost lost each other.
Well, and this time it's just closer to two years since I wrote it, it was my first one-shot. I like the sone too, it's one of my favourites.
Thanks again for the amazing review! :D

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