Reading Reviews From Member: adluvshp
  
1,792 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshpThe Red Haired Witch: Chapter One

15th May 2015:
Hey! Here for the Slytherin Hot Seat!

This was a very interesting read and I really liked it. Your portrayal of Tom Riddle and Ganymede was very surreal and I loved both the characters here despite their "strangeness" (if you can call it that).

You had a really strong hold on descriptions and I loved that. The imagery was very vivid and I could visualise the scenes clearly. There was some beautiful writing in this piece, such as when Ganymede is staring at her beauty or or when she's thinking about life in Azkaban. The scenarios itself were very nicely written and your 'action' scenes were pretty good too.

The relationship between the two sisters was captured brilliantly and the ending bit was just superb. The entire thing flowed smoothly and over all, I really enjoyed reading this. It was very interesting and unique. Great job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #2, by adluvshpUnexploded Bombs: The Answer

13th May 2015:
Hey! I am here for the Hot Seat review. Sorry I'm so late!

This looks like a very interesting story! I read the first chapter and immediately after that I wanted to read on so I continued! You have an interesting mystery going on here. The idea that someone had planted a curse for Harry in his bedroom is very intriguing. I am curious to know who did it and what kind of curse it was and whether it's really gone now. I am guess there's a lot more than meets the eye since the story is a WIP and your summary hints at a "time bomb" that's been "ticking for 19 years." Great premise and great intro into the plot really!

Your characterisations of mature Dudley and Harry were very good. I could connect to the characters and found their interactions realistic. The way you portrayed their emotions was also very good. What I like even more is that this is from Dudley's POV and not Harry's, so it's a very fresh perspective.

All in all, I'm really liking the story so please update soon so I can read the next chapter xD Glad I stopped by!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hi, Angie. Thank you so much for the Hot Seat Review. No matter that it's a few days late. :)

I have to confess that I did it again--posted the final chapter and totally forgot to change the status from WIP to Complete. (You will notice that I have hastily changed it now.) I'm very glad that you liked the story, and I feel guilty for leading you on, making you believe that there were more chapters to come, when in truth there are not.

It was written for a Terrible Two-Shot Challenge, with the prompt of a seemingly natural death called into question when someone receives a letter written by the decedent shortly before his/her demise. So I thought of who could die in an expected way, and I thought of elderly Vernon. It seemed plausible that a Death Eater (or a few of them), while running away from justice after the death of Tom Riddle, might make a quick detour through Little Whinging and set up a booby trap at Number 4 Privet Drive, just to get back at Harry for having defeated their leader.

It was a pleasure to write the two men, especially Dudley, in their older years, making hesitant, awkward interactions with each other, wanting to get past the difficult years that now lie behind them, and trying tentatively to speak of the past in an objective and unemotional manner. At last they can speak the truth without its hurting so much.

As to who set the booby trap, we will never know. Not someone with a lot of finesse. A rather crude, spur-of-the-moment job, a final lashing out at Harry before the perpetrator is captured and sent to Azkaban for his role in the Death Eaters, never knowing that his ultimate victim would be Vernon, not Harry.

Sorry again about the ghostly, non-existent Chapter Three. :p But I'm glad you liked the story.

Vicki


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Review #3, by adluvshpFounders Four: Pillars of the Ages: Chapter one: The Beginning

6th May 2015:
Hey! AditiDraco95 from the forums here for the review swap (which we decided on yesterday). Sorry for the delay!

This was most certainly a very interesting chapter. I love your plot - uncovering the history of the Founders is indeed very interesting and so far I'm liking the way you're going about this.

Your characterisation of little Salazar was awesome - I did not expect him to be buried in a book but I still liked this version of him so I'm excited to see his personality unfold further. I also like your characterisation of Godric so far, I wonder what age difference Salazar and Godric have here or whether they're the same age. The idea that Salazar's father was Godric's mentor is a unique one and I'm curious to see how this scenario plays out further.

You ended the chapter on an intriguing note - what news does Godric have to deliver? I am definitely left wanting to read more and I will as soon as I get some time! This is going in my reading list =)

Your descriptions and narrative style was very engaging and made for a good read. It has that old-worldly charm in it and I can visualise the scenes. Your writing is indeed very precise and just brilliant. I am liking the story so far and I think you've a great first chapter here to set up the scene. Good job!

Hope to be back again for the next chapter soon and looking forward to your review on my story =)

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reading. I actually mentioned their ages, it was during Godric's musings. Godric is twenty-five and Salazar is almost seventeen.

I've always loved the fantasy genre, and how many writers incorporate this trick, which is how I got that idea. I'm pretty proud of how it turned out, and it's very interesting to write!

I'll be looking forward to it, see you soon! XD


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Review #4, by adluvshpThe Duet Of Pansy And Draco: Cantata

5th May 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap!

Haha wow what a plot twist. I did not see that coming! I felt something was off between Pansy and Draco and the further along I read the more I was convinced that Draco should not be marrying Pansy as he really doesn't like her. Then the end, BAM! Haha nice one xD

I love how you characterised Pansy and Draco here. You got their personalities down very well. It was also interesting how Draco factored a lot in Pansy's thoughts despite how she was getting married to Goyle - it showed why Draco knew Pansy was only marrying to make Draco jealous. Poor Pansy though - marrying is a big thing, I wouldn't do that if I was her.

One thing I found that did not align with the plot twist in the end was this line: Great. It looks like I will never be rid of pug face Pansy Parkinson; at least not until death do us part.

Since Draco is not the one marrying Pansy, I don't get why he said that.

Apart from that, I don't have any other CC! Your descriptions were fabulous, your narrative was smooth, the thoughts were quirky and all in all, this was a fun and interesting read that I really enjoyed! Good job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thank you so much for the swap!

I'm so glad you liked that plot twist. I was so worried it was going to be too obvious from the start. I did want people to feel that there was something off kilter about it though.

I'm glad that you liked the characterization of both Pansy and Draco. I worked really hard at trying to create a tone that seemed realistic for them.

The line about not getting rid of her till death do they part was because Pansy is marrying his best friend. Now, he's stuck tolerating her because anytime he visits Goyle, she'll be there.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thanks again for stopping by!

~Kaitlin


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Review #5, by adluvshpAll that Glitters : August 1979: In Blood

5th May 2015:
Hey! AditiDraco95 from the forums here for the review swap!

Wow, this was amazing. I loved how this is from a death eater's perspective - not a forced death eater but one who willingly walked into their ranks. Her "inner battle" is also nicely described and I'm intrigued how she thinks "her deeds of the past define her" which means she must have done some bad stuff - and probably that's why she's joining the death eaters now. Anyway, her character is very interesting and I'm curious to know her further.

This is definitely a very good starting chapter because you've set the premise very well. The whole 'ceremony' was nicely written and it all had a haunting, eerie feel to it. I can sense this is going to be a dark journey so I'm looking forward to it. I hope to be able to come back and read on. Adding this to my favourites! Great story!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: HI

Thanks for stopping by to review! I'm so glad you liked the perspective this is from. I'm hoping to explore her motivations and reasons as the story progresses. It takes a format where it follows two different timelines. I hope it's enough to show a character who's been taken over by the darkness. Who thinks she can't come back from what she's done.

I'm really pleased you thought I got the premise of the story done well. Doing the ceremony was hard because I didn't have a big basis of what it would be like to be ignited. I think there was probably time before where she had to prove herself. This is the capping off experience where she's done enough and they've taken her to Voldemort.

Thank you! I hope you like the rest of the story if you come back!


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Review #6, by adluvshpFall Apart: I

30th April 2015:
Hey Tammi! So, I'm finally here for that long forgotten Slytherin Review Exchange xD

This was just heartbreaking. *grabs tissues* You really, really gave me so many feels, ghosh. George's pain, his grief, his desire to have Fred back was also described perfectly. Your narrative really was very emotive and I just wanted to grab George and hug him.

The way you wrote the encounter with the mirror was also very interesting. I loved how George wanted it to be real, how he wanted to bring Fred "out of it". It was very tragic and pulled at my heart but also very well-written. Beautiful pain - that's two words to describe this lovely fic.

The ending bit was the sweetest. I loved how Ron comforted George - brother to brother bonding is awesome. I also liked the little bit about George keeping the broken mirror shard to see Fred whenever he liked. It's unhealthy but I guess it could help George along - again gave me a billion feels.

All in all, what a perfectly written piece with amazing descriptions and great concept. Very emotive and captivating. Great job! I am glad I finally got around to reading it!

Cheers
AditiDraco95

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Review #7, by adluvshpMeeting You: The girl in the bar

31st March 2015:
Hey Renny! I'm AditiDraco95 from the forums =) I thought I'd drop by and give your story some love xD

First off, I love ships like Draco/Hermione and Draco/Ginny so I'm glad you're writing this story. You have set the scene with this chapter quite well - showing the position of Draco at the moment and giving us some backstory. I feel sad for the poor guy sitting all alone, feeling lost and lonely, having had no choice in the war. The entry of Ginny was also nicely done and I liked how there is a slight hint of attraction between the two already. Their fiery interaction was interesting and I look forward to see how things go further.

For some constructive criticism to help you improve, I'd say work on your tenses and grammar a little bit. You switch between past and present tense in your narrative which cuts off the smoothness and there're places where the grammar could be better. I also think more descriptions to balance out the dialogue/emotions would be nice. Perhaps, you should think about getting a beta? Just trying to give a suggestion that might help you improve your already very-good writing.

Apart from that, I think you've a great plot here and I'm excited to see the characterisations. Your dialogues are well-written and I enjoyed the banter. Some smoothing out and this will turn out to be an awesome story. Good luck and do keep writing! Great job!

Cheers,
Aditi

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Review #8, by adluvshpAn Ode for W. H.: Taurus

29th March 2015:
Hey! Here for the Slytherin Hot Seat Review =)

This was an amazing little story! Firstly, I loved how poetry was the theme. I absolutely love poetry so this made my day xD You paid great attention to little details and provided such awesome descriptions, they were just the strongest point of the narrative for me. I adore such details and descriptions so I really enjoyed that, especially the bit in the beginning.

Your characterisation of Taurus was also very interesting and I enjoyed reading the narration from her point of view. All the backstory and stuff was nicely placed and gave me a good insight into her life. The writing style was flawless and the smoothness of the narrative was perfection. Honestly, I don't have anything else to say except great job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #9, by adluvshpChai, Carrots, and a Friend in the Wee Hours of the Morning: Chai, Carrots, and a Surprise

23rd March 2015:
Hey! Here for review tag xD

I am so excited I get to go another step further in the Chai series! Ah I can't believe they made 'Gaajar ka halwa' -- it's my favourite dessert of all time and now I'm hungry for it xP

This entire one-shot was to sweet. I really loved it. It was awesome that it was from Neville's point of view. You portrayed him really well and he was adorable. His feelings for Hannah came across smoothly and I was smiling throughout reading this. The entire set up was awesome and then the ending was just too cute with the Valentine proposal.

All in all, another one of your amazing stories that I loved. Great descriptions, perfect dialogue, smooth narrative, flawless grammar and amazing plot. Great job!

10/10
Cheers
Aditi

Author's Response: Thanks for dropping by!

Gajar ka halwa is one of the best edible things this side of heaven. I love it so much. I'm glad I made you hungry for it - we can be hungry together :P

It was about time that Neville got to say something, haha! But I think this works best from his point of view. There's something about writing more overt scenes of romance when they're from Neville's point of view. And let it not be said that Neville Longbottom cannot be romantic!

Thanks so much for the lovely review. I'm very pleased that you enjoyed this installment :)


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Review #10, by adluvshpCarina: Carina

23rd March 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap.

Wow, this was incredible. I rarely read Tom Riddle stories because I'm afraid writers won't do him justice but you got his teenage/lover self spot on here. It's hard imagining him in a relationship but if he could be a lover, I think he'd be one like you described here. So manipulative, obsessed and controlling. His "love" for Carina was indeed very interesting to read and I liked how you showed us glimpses into their relationship through your fragmented writing style.

I did not feel much for Carina here, but the letter was certainly powerful. The story of the bloodbath was also described powerfully and left me feeling pity. What she did in the end made sense and I was interested to see that Tom was affected by her death so much, and yet he could not comprehend how she didn't agree with him.

Your descriptions throughout were beautiful and painted some amazing imagery. The narrative flowed smoothly and I enjoyed the over all atmosphere. You did a great job writing this and I really liked it.

Good work!

-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so sorry that I couldn't reply sooner, I was on a self-imposed ban from the laptop because it was preventing me from getting any work done. After this, I'll head over to your page to fulfill my end of the deal :)

Trust me, the apprehension is one that I know well. I used to be reluctant to read anything featuring Tom as a main character and writing him is honestly quite terrifying. It's a relief that people think he's not OOC and that his controlling nature is shown in his 'love' properly. Anything with Tom is bound to be rather...twisted.

I find that quite a few people don't feel anything for Carina. Personally, I pity her a lot, but I suppose that's because I created her. She's so empty after the bloodbath that I guess there's just not much to connect with. I'm glad that the description of the bloodbath evoked pity though because it was a scene that gave me a lot of trouble :)

Thank you for reading and for the review swap :)

Dirigible_Plums xo


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Review #11, by adluvshpBunny Slippers: The Longbottom Family

23rd March 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap.

My goodness, this was so heart wrenching. You did a great job of describing the scene of Alice and Frank's torture. The action was spot on, the characterisation of the two was superb and the descriptions were captivating. I was completely hooked from start to end. I could feel Alice's pain and Frank's worry. When Benjamin died, oh dear. And then the ending bit was the most powerful and the saddest.

Over all, I think you did an amazing job with this. I would have been at a loss when given the prompt bunny slippers and murder but you nailed it. How it went from being a normal family evening to a terrible death and torture was so horrible yet very plausible. I am all sad now, poor Alice and Frank, poor Benjamin and poor little Neville =(

Great writing! I'm glad I got a chance to read this. It really tugged at my heartstrings.

-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hello there!

Although I don't want to make people upset, I'm happy to hear that this story was heart wrenching. I always found the Longbottom's to be particularly tragic and I really wanted to fill in the gaps in their story.

The prompt honestly did throw me for quite a bit. I had been thinking about writing a Longbottom story, but when I got the murder and bunny slippers prompt I didn't know how I could make it work, since Frank and Alice don't actually die. After a few weeks of mulling it over, Benjamin was created.

Thank you so much for reading this and leaving such a lovely review!

~Kaitlin


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Review #12, by adluvshpForget Me Not: bloom and wither

23rd March 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap.

So, I looked at a couple of stories on your author's page and I realised I've reviewed all that I clicked on.
But, will you see this - I just realised I never reviewed this story even though I read it and announced it first prize in the Color and Emotion challenge. So, I thought what better opportunity than now to do so =)

This was absolutely, stunningly beautiful. It broke my heart into a million pieces and yet I loved it so much. Your portrayal of Scorpius is just amazing. I love how he stays loyal to Rose throughout, how much he loves her and does what she asks of him despite everything she put him through. The way her blue eyes were significant throughout was also very powerful.

Your writing style was impeccable. The fragmented style with the deeply descriptive phrases was beautiful and worked nicely with the theme. Speaking of, the plot was just so tragic but so well-crafted. The ending was especially heartbreaking with Scorpius having no memory of Rose and yet something stirring in his mind on seeing her body.

Your characterisation of Rose was also very strong. I could see why Scorpius was so fascinated with her, why he loved her and at the same time I disliked her in a way. The scene when she finally dies was also moving and reading the violence that happened and the son's death was just very well-written and hit me hard.

All in all, this was a very, very good one-shot. I really loved it. It truly deserved the first place in the challenge. You've done amazingly. Great work!

10/10
-AditiDraco95

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Review #13, by adluvshpmisguided ghosts: veni.

23rd March 2015:
Hey! Here for our review swap!

I think this is a very interesting story! I love your plot idea of Rose wanting to do something about treating mental illnesses in the wizarding world. After the war, it is especially very important. The idea of Ron wasting away like this is quite sad but quite plausible at the same time. It makes sense that Rose would think about this after seeing this problem at home.

I like your portrayal of Rose and Albus, as well as the brief introduction of her friends. This all seems a very normal atmosphere and I like that it is not over-the-top. Your inclusion of LGBT characters and relationships is also done nicely.

There was a small part that I did not understand - the suicide case thing. I think it'd be nice to add a brief backstory to that the way you did with the Parkinson case (mentioning that she tried to kidnap Al). If you provided some kind of backstory about who Willow was and what James had to do with it (I didn't get that conversation), it'd make a little more sense. Maybe it's just me who didn't understand though, so if you think it's okay, you can ignore this little bit of CC =)

Apart from that, I really liked reading this. It is a strong start to your story and I loved the note it ended on, with Rose deciding to do something about the mental health illness thing herself. Your descriptions are good and your narrative is smooth. I didn't see any grammar errors either.

Good job =)

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

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Review #14, by adluvshpBlood Red Petals: Chapter One

23rd March 2015:
Hey! Here for Slytherin Review Tag!

My goodness, what have you turned poor Scorpius into? *gasp* A killer! No. Can I just hug him and tell him to give up this bitterness?

Okay coming to coherency, I LOVED this. What a brilliantly written story. Scorpius is the perfect 'villain', seething in rage and bitterness and rejection. Your characterisation is perfect. It almost makes me scared of him. The idea of him killing red-heads impulsively because Rose refused him. wow. *shudder*

It is interesting how this Scorpius differs so much from my Scorpius - the one who is happy in Rose's happiness. And yet your Scorpius really wants Rose, hates the rejection and is, honestly, a little crazy. It's insane but I love it xD

Your descriptions were marvellous too. Enough to be haunting yet not over-the-top to be graphic. You had just the right amount of detail. The way you told the story was also awesome - I understood where Scorpius was coming from and everything very easily in this short piece. The ending was the best bit of course, and it kinda left me wondering whether he's going to kill Rose if she rejects him again or whether he is going to woo her and this time she'll fall for him. You saying this is a prequel in your author's note has intrigued me so I'm going to check out the sequel to this story soon xD

All in all, amazing writing as usual. Loved it!!

10/10
Cheers
Angie

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Review #15, by adluvshpPrincess: Princess

22nd March 2015:
Hello! Here for our review swap.

Wow, this was just beautiful. It almost gave me chills. You captured the effects of War beautifully here and I love how you chose Astoria as your main character here. It was interesting that she stayed back in the war to fight and she saw her friend die and she still got nightmares. The hand shaking was very plausible too. The comparison between her childhood - being a princess - and the broken girl at the end was beautifully done.

All in all, I really liked reading this. The descriptions were brilliant and the emotion was seeping through the narrative wonderfully. It really made me feel for Astoria. Good job!

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm really humbled that you thought this was beautiful, and that it almost gave you chills! I'm glad you liked my choice to write Astoria, too. I'd never written her before this, but now that I have, I'll probably go back to her again at some point. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this, especially since it's a pretty heavy story, and that you thought I showed the effects of the war well. Thank you for the review swap!
Cassie :)


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Review #16, by adluvshpHarry Potter and the Broomstick Makers: Eye Healer in a Muggle Town

22nd March 2015:
Hello! Here for our review swap.

This was an interesting chapter. I liked how you set up the meeting between Dudley and Harry. The whole visit to the eye-healer thing was also quite fascinating. I liked how you portrayed Dudley. The ending was also very sweet. Good work all in all =)

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Wow you read my story so fast. Thank you so much. I didn't have confidence how readers would feel about visiting eye-healer thing and the ending, so your review gave me some encouragement. :)

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Review #17, by adluvshpA Terrible Mistake: A Terrible Mistake

22nd March 2015:
Review tag!

Wow, this was very, very interesting. You've always read and reviewed my stories so it's awesome to read your writing and discover it's pretty fantastic in itself.

You captured Lucius' POV brilliantly. I loved how this gave a different perspective in his thoughts - his regrets of joining Voldemort and him not wanting to be 'strong'. The descriptions were superb as well and your writing style reflected the manner in which I'd expect Lucius to think/talk.

All in all, this made for a brilliant read and I was awed by it. Great job!

10/10
Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Thanks Aditi.
I'm happy to know you enjoyed it


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Review #18, by adluvshpA Black Christmas: A Black Christmas

22nd March 2015:
Hey! Here for review tag!

This was a fun little story. I definitely enjoyed reading it. It makes for a good AU (as of course I can't see the Blacks associating with Andromeda and Ted since they hated muggleborns). I liked your portrayal of Andromeda and Ted, and of Sirius and Regulus. Certain parts of this made me grin.
For CC, I'd say checking over your spelling again as there were a few mistakes, and perhaps adding some more description to balance out the dialogue.
Apart from that, this was quite good and a nice read =)

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hello!
Thank you so much, I'm very happy to hear that you found this amusing and that you liked how I portrayed the characters!
I wouldn't call it AU... Sure, it is very unlikeable that Andromeda would decide out of the blue to go see the family for Christmas... And if that could ever happened, Orion would've probably just shut the door on her face...
Still, I liked to imagine Orion a bit more tolerant than her wife and brother-in-law and since they are Blacks and do take etiquette very seriously, I suppose this could have happened (even if, as I already said, I agree with you that it is highly unlikeable).
Really? No one pointed out typos before... I'll check, thanks for signaling it.
As for description... Yeah, that was common feeling... In my defence, I have to say that this was my very first story and I did put more effort in description in the following ones. I probably might consider a revision, but I'm scared I would end up ruining the story, so I prefer to just leave it this way.
Thank you so much again for the review!
With love,
Chiara.


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Review #19, by adluvshpLuna : Encounter

16th March 2015:
Hey! Here for Slytherin Hot Seat! Sorry for the delay!

I loved this! You captured little Luna's personality so wonderfully. Your descriptions were very strong and the way her thoughts flowed was beautiful. I could definitely imagine Luna feeling this way. The second person narrative doesn't usually work well in these kind of stories, but here, in my opinion you nailed it. I was absolutely into the story and went with the flow.

The plot idea of Luna encountering thestrals for the first time, her fascination and her affection with them, it was all too sweet and very nicely done. As I said before, you got Luna's thought process wonderfully - you didn't overdo it and you got it just right. It made for a very nice read over all and I'm glad I got a chance to read it! Good job =)

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hey Aditi!

Thank you so much for this review :) No worries about the delay, I'm sorry I took so long to respond! Quiddich kinda got in the way.

I'm pleased you liked my Luna. She really seemed to fit with the prompt (which is probably why so many of us chose her!) and was really interesting to write.

Thank you for all those lovely comments, I am smiling so much right now.

Lottie


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Review #20, by adluvshpThe Department of Spectral Affairs: Darkness

2nd March 2015:
Hey! Here for the Slytherin Review Exchange. I'm sorry it took me so long!

Wow, this is very, very interesting. I love what I've read of Not Normal so far and I'm glad you decided to give Regulus his own little story here. The idea of afterlife is very interesting and not one I've seen explored properly in fan fiction before. This is a very promising plot and already you've built the setting wonderfully.

Your descriptions were just superb. The drowning part was really surreal and the endless falling was almost haunting. You captured the darkness of it very nicely. The ending bit, with the switch to first person point of view, was smoothly done and intrigues me that I want to read further to know what's going to happen next.

Great job all in all! Excited to read more of this story =)

Cheers,
AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Heya!

I was surprised by the love Regulus received in Not Normal, so I couldn't help giving him his own origin story. Writing about the afterlife should be interesting - especially since in Not Normal I describe it from the side of the living, not the dead.

Thank you so much! Dark pieces always feel a little odd to me, but they can be fun to write from time to time.

Thanks so much for the lovely review :)


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Review #21, by adluvshpSymphony: Chapter Two

21st February 2015:
Hello! Here for your Slytherin Hot Seat Review!

I had been very intrigued when I'd read the first chapter of this story so I'm glad I got a chance to come back for more. Your descriptions were just amazing - so haunting, so beautifully written and so powerful. I still think the narrator is death, or related to death, considering the tone and the words they use.

The idea of that little boy riding all alone to warn the villages just broke my heart. It's so very sad, and in times of war like this, quite believable. Certain bits stood out as strong imagery to me too, such as the part about all the people being corpses.

I am really enjoying your writing style - it's short, snappy and very interesting. I'm curious to know more about the narrator and to see what happens next so I'm going to favourite this and try and read the rest when I get the time.

Great story! 10/10

-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so sorry this reply is so late - these past few months have been crazy.

This is the first time I'd written anything of the kind - using that kind of style, so I'm really happy you liked it. The Narrator being Death is a good idea - you're along the right lines, and yes, the tone and words will (hopefully - that's the idea anyway!) give you the clues to work out who/what the Narrator is.

When I was given the first war as a prompt, the little boy was actually the first image that came into my head, and paradoxically, despite the highly artificial structure and Narrator of this, my aim was to be as believable as possible.

This might sound callous - but in war, people do become corpses, (and the Narrator is very callous indeed), and it was very much a conscious decision to treat the impact of war on all aspects of society that it affects as unflinchingly as possible.

YOU FAVOURITED THIS!!! AHHH! THANK YOU. SO. MUCH.

And now I'm going to try and sign off calmly. :)

Celi xxx


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Review #22, by adluvshpHouse of Cards: Joker

11th February 2015:
Hey! I finally got the chance to come back to this story to read the final chapter. All I have to say is, Wow.

I don't know why you feel you're 'bad' at things that were involved in this story but to me, this was absolutely brilliant. I loved your writing, your plot, your descriptions and the characterisations. You captured the Black family in a very interesting manner and your portrayal of Sirius was spot on. This final chapter definitely wrapped things up nicely - with the Black family disowning Sirius and Alphard dying. There're still many questions unanswered though and I guess your sequel might tackle them so i will have to check that out some time.

All in all, I felt this was a beautiful story and I had an amazing time reading it. Great job!

10/10
-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hi there, Aditi! Thank you so much for following this story all the way to the end - it means to much to see people sticking with this! Thank you! :)

Gah, thank you so much! This is the first chaptered story I ever finished - well, the first proper novel/novella I ever finished - so it means a lot to me, so hearing you say that is so lovely! I definitely feel like I've grown with this story and learned things - like how to plot :P - and I'm so glad you liked Sirius! One of the main drives for this story was portraying Sirius in a different light, so I'm glad you liked it! Yeah, I didn't want a 'perfect' conclusion for this, tbh, because it wouldn't feel quite right to me, but I might end up taking another look at it - who knows? But there'll definitely be questions answered in the sequel - I'm planning on it! ;)

Thank you so so much for this review, and for following this - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #23, by adluvshpPainful Bliss: Prologue: Beginnings

10th February 2015:
Hey!

Wow, this was very interesting! Lately, I've found myself drawn to Draco/Astoria stories and as soon as I saw the summary of this, I knew I had to read it! You did a great job characterising Draco. The way you expressed his emotions was amazing and I was really in his head while reading this which was superb.

The pain, the horror of the war, the coldness - I could feel it seeping out of the narrative and it was greatly done. I also liked how there was emphasis on Astoria's 'plain'-ness, how she wasn't extraordinarily beautiful and that Draco was not enchanted by her in first glance - there was so much of normality between them, that I loved that. Astoria is not some character seeking out to reform him, she is just who she is and just being that person intrigues Draco and he feels somewhat happy.

So yeah, I really love the realistic angle to this. Your descriptions and writing is very interesting too with its somewhat fragmented style. I am kinda hooked to the story and would love to read more so I'm favouriting this! I can't wait to see where the plot is headed and what layers do we unravel about this pair.

Great job! 10/10

-AditiDraco95

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks so much for reading my little story. I'm extremely drawn to Draco/Astoria but I can't seem to find any stories about them anymore. If you have any recommendations that would be great!

This story is mainly about emotions. It's not about scenery or what's around them but what's going on inside of them instead. Half of it deals with Draco while the other half deals with Astoria and then it sort of overlaps where you get the both of them. It's hard to explain but once you read it I think you'll understand.

I didn't want to make her this beauty queen. Sure she's a beautiful woman. She has the money to take great care to her appearance but the first time Draco sees her it isn't love or lust at first sight. She's average to him and I think that's how it is for a lot of us when we go on dates or start dating someone. Sure it starts to get magical as you learn more about them and start to feel deeper towards them but sometimes at first you're like, "This person is okay."

Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy the next chapter. There's a time jump so things are VERY different. Again, thanks for such a wonderful review!


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Review #24, by adluvshpWhere My Demons Hide: There is nowhere we can hide

10th February 2015:
Oh my, this was so haunting. Another one of your amazing pieces. I totally, entirely loved it! The way you fit in the song was too good, and your descriptions were just perfect.

Ah Blaise makes me shiver. I can visualise him having an affair with Ginny - and then him killing her. Ghosh it's crazy but it's to be expected in your stories xP

It was sad in a way, how Ginny wanted to turn him into a better person and yet in the end he remained the same, or got worse. The little details about their affair was also very interesting. The most haunting and captivating thing about this piece was the imagery though - you did great work with that.

I really liked it! Superb job! 10/10

--AditiDraco95

P.S. I know what kind of tragic stories you like but alas I couldn't exactly meet your request when I wrote "Rose" - it is not tragic in the way you'd like it to be, but I hope it is still okay! If you want me to write another, I can give it another go (with the right time and inspiration). But really, this story just made me feel a lot 'ashamed' about mine xP GREAT WORK!

Author's Response: Angie, your review made me SO happy!
I wasn't expecting it at all and then you were so sweet to give me a 10/10! *faints*

I'm glad you liked it! I've been a little nervous about this story, especially since it's so vague (compared to other stories, this doesn't get too deep into the story plot) and I was afraid it might ruin the flow/story.

Also, you literally BROKE my heart with 'Rose'!! You met my request in any way possible.

Thank you so much for your review!
- Avi


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Review #25, by adluvshpJust One Memory: Just One Memory

10th February 2015:
Oh my god this makes me want to cry. Poor little Teddy - the whole idea of Teddy wanting just one little memory of his parents is so, so sad. It reminds me of little Harry in a way. *sobs and squishes Teddy*

I love the way you have written the relationship between Andromeda and Teddy. It is just so sweet. I also think your portrayal of an eleven year old Teddy is quite well-written! His 'desperation' of knowing "what I really look like" is adorable in so many ways. I can actually visualise something like this happening!

In the ending bit, when that memory of Remus and Tonks comes back to Teddy and he says I love you, ghosh I just wanted to cry again. This is just too heartbreaking and at the same it kinda brought a smile to my face too. You really wrote this so nicely!

I loved it! Great work =) Cheers!

--AditiDraco95

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