OMG I am so excited about it. Well. You know that already.
ANYWAY. I'm really glad you decided to change the perspective for this part. I think seeing things from Pearson's perspective is really effective.
*narrows eyes at Lucy* The guilty ones always refuse Veritaserum. *does the "I'm watching you" hand movement*
I'm also really intrigued by Harvey's character, and what he has to do with the whole thing. Harvey is a serial killer name. Just saying. It really is. He sounds creepy...
(so, I'm on a pancake induced sugar-high. Apologies for the randomness)
Lovelovelove darling! Can't wait to see where this goes!
AnnieAuthor's Response: I think the perspective change was for the best, as well. Pearson's POV has more drama than just plain third person.
Hehe. I'm sure Lucy is very intimidating by your hand movement and narrowed eyes. :D
Oh, Harvey. How I hope that he grows into a complex and wonderful character. I think he's going to be a lot of fun to write. And perhaps he is a bit creepy. What of it? Haha.
Never apologize for the randomness. I live for it. And thank you so much for the lovely, lovely review. I'm glad you like this story so much. :) Report Review
Celeste, when I first read this, I couldn't review. I really couldn't. I needed time to think. To absorb it all. And also to read it over about five more times. It's funny because each time I read it, I see something new, something I should have seen before to tip me off to the ending, but it never once fails to surprise me when I finally finish reading.
I envy your ability to write this almost without a timeline. It flows in a way that a story told strictly in time could never achieve. Honestly.
When I read this, I keep finding myself going over and over some sentences, lingering on each word, feeling it, smelling it, tasting it, because that's what they do. They capture moments. The way you describe these scenes is the ultimate in sensory input. Memories aren't full pictures. They are the feeling, the touch, the taste, and you captured that so well here.
Normally, I would put my favorite lines down here and then just weep at their perfection, but that would probably have me copy/pasting the whole darn thing, and that's just bad form, haha. Suffice to say, holy god, how on earth did you do this and also thank god you did this. Lovely lovely writing my dear.
Annie Report Review
It's funny, because you said that this is like a dark 'Unravelling' but I never once thought that wile reading this. It is an entity in itself.
The language you used, and I know I don't really need to tell you this because it was on purpose, it's enchanting. It sets such a mood and my god, I just drank it all in like it was water.
He did not lick his words like melting ice cream. He wanted the drops to fall on you. He wanted sugar to nestle on your skin and he wanted it to stick.
You would need soap after this. I think this was my favorite. I also loved how you used dirty snow later in almost the same way and the combination of the two really made a contrast that is hard to put into words.
The references to Sleeping Beauty also really made for such an interesting tone. That, combined with the really blunt dialogue and the enigmatic characters, the colors are so bright, but it's all behind a layer of murky grey that makes it hard to make out.
THE END. MY GOD. I DON'T EVEN. GAH. THE END. *flails* I don't have words. Really. I just wrote some stuff out and then had to erase it because it was rubbish trying to describe how much I liked the end. Just know that I really really really -- ugh, well. Anyway. You know.
lovelovelove and sorry for my wordlessness.
AnnieAuthor's Response: You know how they say that there are no original stories, how everything falls into some certain character journey or trope? I wholeheartedly subscribe to that, especially with my recent fics, but I'm so flattered that you could distinguish this as its own (entity -- love that word).
It's been a while since I've written like this -- serious, second-person, etc -- so honestly, I'm just glad Gina hasn't corrupted me so much that I've lost my touch. (ILYGINA). I said that this fic would eat me alive, and the style was why. And that section was one of the ones I really did like so yay. Although I didn't realize I used the melting snow the same way later, I see it now so thank you! (See? I recycle concepts like whoa. Bad Gubby.)
The Sleeping Beauty references kind of came out of nowhere. Once I realized it was a reference at all, I slapped on AURORE as a title (it's French which meant I forced Dominique into the role, although I was also considering Minerva and Lily Evans). But ooh, that whole "colors are so bright, but it's all behind a layer of murky grey" -- so perfect. GAH. Why are reviews invariably more eloquent than the fic?
Teehee, thank Celeste for the ending! It was originally much more blunt and yet ambiguous, because you don't see Scorpius' expression or anything. And it took awhile to rework it so I'm beyond relieved that it worked.
Just... aghhh. How does this happen? Annie, thank you so so so so much, I love you, you're incredible, etc. *heart* Report Review
Ohmygosh, this was so cute! And I love the code names! I was in stitches at 'Papa Lion'
You wrote children as actual CHILDREN in this and that is something that is truly difficult I remember when my older sister told me Santa wasn't real and I acted just like James (*was such a brat*). I also love how all the other kids got involved and little Hugo is so cute!
Wonderfully written and a fun, easy read! Great Job!
AnnieAuthor's Response: hehe! thank you! I have really young siblings so it wasn't that hard to write the children. Yeah, it sucks finding out Santa isn't real :(
Hugo is my favorite character in this fic! I'm working on devoting a mission just to him.
Thanks for reviewing!
OMG THE END. YESSS. PERFECT. I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE IT WORK. GOLD STAR GINA. 20 FREAKING GOLD STARS.
Also, yes, I would like to take credit for planting the title in your head, but in no way can I take credit for how awesome this is (though your Arthur/Eames is showing -- in the absolute best way, of course). What I love so much is how you and Gubby decided to do this together, but your stories really are very different. It'll be interesting to see how they end up comparing in the end.
Also, the beginning and the *movie montage* turned out brilliantly. Love it. Love you. Go eat some more Pocky as a reward. Or something.
AnnieAuthor's Response: ALL-YOUR-FAULT-ANNIEEE~ And please, 10 of those gold stars are yours.
My Arthur-Eames + iron-grip-obsessive-compulsive-graphics-editor is showing, you mean :3 What I actually find hilarious is that I'm writing the cynic this time. I wonder how far we can get this. Although having them both update at the same time means we'll have lots of lovely peer pressure.
-scrounges for Pocky to share- Report Review
LIKE ZOMG GUBBY. FO REALSIES. I LURVE THIS LIKE I LOVE --
oh, I can't keep that up for every long, but you already know how this makes me laugh and laugh. It's good to see you using your humor skills for good, haha. I must admit that all I can hear in my head when Lizzy talks is Gina, which is terrifying. BUT IN A GOOD WAY.
No matter what we do, we all end up working sexy, prestigious Ministry jobs anyway. I giggled over that one for about 200 seconds. I love you for it.
Great job darling, especially trying to ship Libby and Scorpius together. She sounds like she hates feelings just as much as I do. I can't wait to see her interact with someone she actually likes lol.
AnnieAuthor's Response: OMAHGAWD ANNIE. DUUUDE. I LUVLUVLUV --
Ick, I can't do it either. But srsly, thank you so, so much! Without you two, obviously this never would have happened. My humor skillz have recently been reawakened by awesome things (cough Friendship for Dummies cough), so I only do what I can. And yeah, I hear Gina in Izzy's voice too (so that's basically all the time. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT).
Teehee. Tis true. Although I totally see Izzy as this broke twentysomething, going from au pair job to au pair job (she steals their biscuits and the husbands, if he's hot enough) and pining after her latest obsession. (But of course we don't actually know what will happen in Izzy's life, so discount this all as vindictive thinking).
Libby/Scorpius is so awful and brilliant at the same time. She hates feelings as much as I do, which you know is a lot. She barely likes Izzy, but Scorpius... ahem. Scorpius is a different story.
Thank you so so so much for stopping by, my lovely. *hug* Report Review
I like this so much. On the one hand, it made me incredibly happy and smilely, but then on another, it made me so sad. The way Lily was looking around the house and saying she thought she could build them a life there, teaching Harry piano and wanting him to grow up in such a good way when we all know he doesn't. Really well written and beautiful!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Yeah! Mission complete! I wanted it to make you feel that way and now I'm all bubbly and happy!!
Thanks for reviewing, I live off them, really :)
So glad you liked it :)
ErinColleen Report Review
AWW This was great! I really liked the way you linked the three generations together so nicely. At the same time though, each boy had his own issues to deal with and that was interesting to read about. My favorite was definitely James II because I really enjoyed his interaction with Lily II and the way you talked about the sort of "Potter effect". I've always thought something like that would happen in the future and I'm glad you sort of took that idea and looked at how it might shape the next gen characters a little more. (also, Albus as a Ravenclaw... very unique! I'd love to hear more about how you came to that decision about his character).
The only thing that gave me pause was the spacing, but I'm sure you've either already heard about that or have decided that it doesn't bother you. Either way, a great bit of writing and good luck in the duel!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Ooops, meant Albus was A gryff DATING a ravenclaw... and now I feel annoyed at myself since you obviously liked that! :(
Anyway, sorry about that! Yeah I'll check out the spacing, thanks a million.
The "potter effect". I may have to use that phrasing! Love it!
Love the next-gen characters, so happy you liked how I portrayed them!
Glad you liked it, thanks so much for reviewing!! :) Report Review
Bahaha, I love these kinds of lighthearted stories. I also am completely in love with you because you have found a way to give Scorpius a relative that doesn't defy canon in a way that has me clawing my face off. Thank you SO much for that.
I also think Scorpius is such a silly. Is he a Slytherin in this? Because this is such a Slytherin sort of plan. Making friends with people to get to their relatives. hee hee. I wonder what Rose is like that Amelia doesn't like her that much. Oh also, I applaud you on not giving Amelia some crazy insane name that is suppose to match Scorpius' and instead going with the more flowery, traditional style names like Daphne and Astoria. Amelia is lovely.
I giggled at several points:
...always speaks in this cryptic womanly language that I wasn’t given a dictionary for. what DOES stuff like that mean. I'm a winter! I'm an Autumn! She's such a Spring! I always get so confused.
Her hair is rather the colour of passionately burning fire. As a fellow redhead, I lol-ed at this for about 200 seconds.
Well, in my defense, all the girls were thinking it. ROFL
Love this. Great start to your first next gen!
AnnieAuthor's Response: You know what? I usually hate it when authors insert OCs as relatives of main characters. But I did it anyway! My motivation was that I didn't want anyone accidentally shipping Amelia/Scorpius and that was the only method that would ensure that at 100% success rate. Lol. :D
Yeah, Scorpius is a silly. He's got his father's brains unfortunately. :D He is a Slytherin indeed... oh, yeah, sneaky Slytherin-y plan. And though he is usually a ray of sunshine, his sneaky bad traits will come forth in future chapters.
Love simple names. There is no need for Aphrodite or Labradora (wow, I should use Labradora somewhere xD).
Fellow redhead here! (*khum* dyed) I am glad you like the humour. It's mostly my own brain's mental doodles. :D
Once again, thanks for the lovely review, Annie!
Maya Report Review
AW! This was cute! I always like the idea of Teddy becoming a Healer instead of an Auror, for some reason. It seems to fit his personality (the one I have in my head, haha). I also really like the way that you showed that even thought it's been years and years, he still has kept himself slightly distanced from the Weasley family. And the fact that it was George to kind of really bring him into it fully was great. He lost someone really important in the war too, and so it probably meant more coming from him that it would have coming from someone else.
I also really really really loved Teddy trying to alter the Wolfsbane potion. It was a real homage to his dad and it also showed that even if Remus had been alive, Teddy would have really understood how he felt about his condition.
You writing style really flows nicely and props on having some smooth and natural dialogue. I want to meet these two guys! They sound funny and smart and you know.Teddy Lupin and Oliver Wood's son. haha.
Anyway, liked this a lot!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Thanks :) Yeah so do I, for some reason him becoming an Auror just doesn't seem right, and sometimes feels like people believe the only job in the HP world is an auror. Which obviously it's not :) YAY! Thanks for understanding why I picked George :)
Thaaank you :) I always imagine Teddy as being so humble :)
Aww thanks that really means a lot :)
God, I wish these guys were real! And oh, yeah... Mmm... Teddy Lupin and Oliver Wood's son. *love*
~Vic xx Report Review
Heyo! Ellerina here from the Forums for the last bit of our little extended review exchanged! Again, sorry it's taken me a bit to get to this, but I'm glad I can go ahead and finish this up tonight!
Oh no! No one likes to think that a guy would cheat like that! And honestly, even if they're not labeling whatever is going on between them, if Lysander is acting shady and trying to hide it, he obviously knows that he's doing is wrong. Scorpius was such an older brother, haha. I have several myself and they are always doing things like that, checking up on me and making sure everyone is being nice to me, haha. Silly older brothers, trying to be over-protective. I'm curious to see what Sandreiah ends up seeing at Hogsmeade. I assume she ends up catching him cheating, but with whom i wonder? Could it be Roxanne? Is that why Rose wasn't giving all the details?
It'll be interesting to see what happens!
AnnieAuthor's Response: No worries, lol, I'm the one who should be apologizing (again) for taking so long with this!! I haven't forgotten about it tho, and I WILL be finishing it here soon, promise! ^_~
THANK YOU, lol!! I completely agree 100% with everything you said about Lysander here, and the whole not-labeling-it-thing, lol! I was trying to make a point about him acting so shady, so I'm really glad you picked up on that! I think the reason I was able to write the "older brother" part so well is because I have always been the oldest too - "older sister" that is, lol! I wasn't quite as, uh, passionate about checking up on my siblings as he is, but it was still really fun to write a character who was like that tho, haha!! XD
You are VERY perceptive, you know that? You're guesses are rather good, but you'll just have to read the next chapter if you wanna see how right you are or not, lol! It's finally up now too, if you wanna take a a look at it!! I'll send ya a quick comment to your profile, just in case you don't read this right away... Thank you SO MUCH for all of these amazing reviews Annie, it was so great to hear your thought on everything!! *hugs* =) Report Review
Heyo! Ellerina from the Forums to keep on with our review exchange! Sorry it's been a bit. I was totally swamped for the last day or so, but I'll definitely get this done tonight.
I thought you did a nice job in showing the relationship between the two twins. That can be a bit of a difficult task, showing a relationship even closer than normal siblings, but it worked here. Obviously Lysander is a normal human who sometimes just has to hear thing from someone else, in a different way, to understand them. I also think the sort of friends-but-not-really dynamic you have between Lysander and Sandreiah is interesting, because that's much closer to the kind of thing that goes on in real life a lot of times.
I wonder what happens to ruin everything that went so well this chapter? I guess I'll have to read and find out!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Don't worry about the time-frame thing hun. I'm the one who should be apologizing, seeing how as I still haven't even gotten all of your done yet... I'm SO sorry about that! ^_^'
I was so happy when you said that you thot I portrayed the twins so well! I've never written twins before, so it's was nice to hear some positive feedback on their relationship! I am trying to make this as realistic as possible too, so I was very pleased to hear that you liked Lorcan & Sandreiah's love/hate relationship so well too, haha!! =)
All of your compliments were wonderful, thank you so much!! I guess you will just have to keep reading if you want to find out what goes down between them, cuz there will be no spoiler-giving here, muwahaha!! ;) Report Review
Ok so. I completely adore this. Somehow, you've managed to write the Snape we know and love (well, some of us), but also make him a believable teenager. I don't feel as if you've taken adult Severus and just WHAMBAM! tried to pretend he was always the same way. He was once just as confused about who he was as any teenager. I also loved the way you really tied up the whole thing at the end. It was really well done and somehow made writing that in his book mean something different to me than it did before.
Anyways, great writing and good luck in the duel!
AnnieAuthor's Response: I am so, so glad you enjoyed this story so much!! I absolutely love writing Snape - there's so much to explore there - and I am so glad you found him to be believable. I agree with you - Severus wasn't always his broody, moody self, events in his life made him that way, and I am so glad you see it, too!
So sorry for the lateness of this response. ^_^ I really do appreciate your leaving this review for me, it means so much!
xxx Report Review
Uh oh! That was quite a fight! I've always wanted to do that thing with the food or where you throw a drink in the guys face or something, but I've never had the chance. It sounds so satisfying...
I have to say that, having had a fight quite a bit like this, I thought you did a great job of showing how one minute you can be fighting about one thing, and then the next it's something completely different. I also really enjoyed that you gave us the backstory here. I wondered what had gone so terribly wrong between these two characters that they gave up their friendship of so many years. I think this showed that nicely.
The one thing I would mention, and I think I'm noticing it because it's something I'm working on in my writing as well, is that you often are TELLING the reader what they should think of a certain comment or situation, rather than trying to SHOW. One example that I can find off the top of my head is when Sandreiah is talking about grudges in the Magical world. I don't necessarily think that needs to be said so explicitly. The dialogue (which reads really smoothly, by the way!) conveys that and it seems a bit repetitive. Just a thought!
Good work and on to the next chapter!
AnnieAuthor's Response: I know, haha, I've always wanted to do something like that too in RL, but I've just never had the right opportunity yet!! *sigh* ^_^'
Yeah, I know that this is a bit more "telling" than showing, but that's kind of the point I was going for with this. Sandreiah is a strong individual with even stronger points of view, and so I think I was just trying to re-enforce that. I can see where it would get a little repetitive tho, so thanks for bringing that to my attention! :)
I am glad that you seem to be enjoying the story so far, and happy that you didn't think their fight was too over the top or anything, lol! Thank you so much for the review! =) Report Review
Heyo! Ellerina from the Forums here with the first bit of our review exchange!
I think this story has so much potential! You're writing style is very clear and easy to read and you've painted your character very clearly here. I think that Sandreiah seems very in character as a Slytherin and I'm curious to see what lengths she's going to go to get even with Lysander. I sense something wicked in his future! haha
I did want to point out (and maybe I only know/care about these things because I've been in fanfiction for AGES) several canon things. I'm not sure how close you wanted to stay towards canon, so feel free to disregard this, because what you have works great, but JKR did specify that Draco ended up marrying Astoria Greengrass in the end (you could absolutely work your way around this by simply saying that they got divorced and he remarried) and also, Scorpius' name comes from the Black family tradition of naming children after stars or constellations (again, this can be easily avoided by just saying that Scorpius is from the first marriage or something). But like I said, it's really up to you how close to canon you want to stay and whether or not this matters to you at all. If it doesn't, then it doesn't and that's that!
Like I said, you have a lovely clear writing style and I like your choice of slightly off-beat next gen characters (Roxanne and Lysander). It'll be interesting to see what happens next!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Hello there!
First of all, let me take the time to apologize for taking so long to reply to these lovely reviews. RL is terribly busy for me right now, as I have been working lots & LOTS of overtime at my job... I also know that I still owe you 2 more reviews on your Hestia story as well... So don't worry, I haven't forgot, I promise!! :)
Anyways... I loved everything that you had to say about Sandreiah here! I am so happy that people seem so accepting of her. She is not without her flaws, however, as you will see towards the end. I just really hope that people don't end up hating her by the time this is all over with, cuz she kind of goes and does something a little evil... ;)
As far as the cannon thing goes, nah, I wasn't trying to stay that close to the books. You see, Sandreiah's mother here; Roxi, is the OC that Draco is with in my Draco/OC novel. I started writing "All is NOT Fair in Love & War" before the info on Astoria was released, and besides, it's hard for me to imagine Draco with anyone other than Roxi now anyways, lol! Now that you mention it tho, I suppose I should probly go back and mark this as a Draco/OC fic too... ^_^'
Haha, I love picking out characters that no one else usually writes about. There are far too many Scorpius, James II, Albus, Hugo, & Teddy's out there, and not enough about the Scamander twins, lol! At first I was a little nervous about it, cuz I wasn't sure how people would respond to the daughter of Draco and the son of Luna being together. But they seem to be going over rather well, which makes me very, very, happy, haha!! =)
Thanks so much for the thoughtful review. And again, I am so, SO sorry that I still haven't had time to finish your last 2 yet. I promise you that I WILL get them done tho!! ^_~ Report Review
I have always completely adored the idea of this type of challenge. It really encourages such creativity in the author and, in all honesty, some of my favorite and most cherished one-shots have come from it.
I have always liked the idea of Gideon and Fabian. Liked the idea that they were probably related closely to Molly Weasley, and that they were heroes that died in the last war. Honestly, they're not explored enough. Something that tragic should be really thoroughly thought through and written out.
That said, my god, the IMAGERY in this! There is a reason you're Legendary woman! It was so beautiful and stinging somehow. I could feel the pricks of the thorns on my skin and Death tickling my neck and it was such a vivid experience that it made my spine crawl a bit (in a good way really).
There is no peace here, in this withered space of time and misguided fortune. For some reason, the cadence of this line really caught my interest. I read it over a couple of times because I liked it so much.
All in all, a beautiful and evocative and somehow also apparently spine-crawling(?) piece of writing.
AnnieAuthor's Response: ANNIE!!! *flails*
such an incredible review!! wow. im floored.
i love these short challenges. it really is hard to stick to 500 words.
i have always been intrigued by them as well, especially that hero aspect of it all. and i agree - there needs to be more gideon and fabian around here!
thank you and *blush* i am really pleased you liked it. yay for good spine crawling! i am nowhere near Lee Anne's league when it comes to creating atmosphere but i am really pleased this effected you like that!!
thank you so much my darling!!
Kate xx Report Review
I feel the desperate need to repeat what I think I've already said at least twice. I'm in love with this. I am seriously your newest fangirl. I will come to each update armed with confetti and biscuits, because that is what this story deserves.
AW SCORPIUS. Somehow, you have taken every cliche about Scorpius and used it in a totally wonderful way that made his character all at once likable AND believable. And he's Hugo's friend! Ahahaha, that bit about the drool made me laugh, because of Neville thinking earlier about a tactful way to mention it. Turns out, there isn't one, haha.
I also really like how you wrote Hermione in this. She wasn't bossy or dreadfully shrill like you so often read. She was well spoken and a good parent, concerned for her son, but also not wanting to force him down any one path. Thank you for making her a real person!
Neville had been rather the bumbling ninny at one point as well, but he cleaned himself up after the Great War and practiced surviving on his own. Aw, Neville, I think you grew up just fine!
"Yes, I come out here on some nights and attend their festivals." this line made me think 'WHAT A FREAK' and AWW at the same time in equal parts.
"And all this time I thought it was just because they were looking to settle us on another planet…and needed our help to find it." LOL. LOLOLOLOL times a million.
Like I've said, I hit the jackpot with this exchange. I'm so glad you said yes!
AnnieAuthor's Response: Yay for acquiring fangirls!! *clap clap*
I did do the drool part on purpose to correspond with that thought of Neville's--props for picking up on it ;)
I like Hermione too much to treat her like she's all mean and stuff. After all, she was very caring with Harry and Ron throughout the books--her shrillness comes through when she's stressed, like it does for a lot of people. I think that a lot of writers might be overlooking the fact that all characters, at the bottom, are humans. Situations call for the overly-bossy Hermione, but I think as a mother especially she'd be softer towards her kids.
Hehe Hugo is supposed to come off as weird and make you frown a little, like "what the heck is he talking about" or "that was completely strange." but perhaps my fondness for him rubs off too much...it's hard to contain it!!
Hehe, one of my friends asked me in all seriousness once if people studied astronomy to find other planets for settling on. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to both poke fun at the poor kid and make Hugo look ridiculous :)
I can't thank you enough for all the feedback! It's dreadfully happiness-inducing :) :) :)
Hopefully in a week or so the next chapter will be up!! Report Review
Bahahaha, what a ragtag team. Professor Neville, Scorpius and Hugo.
Seriously though, I am in love with Hugo. Not like, OMG I WANT TO DATE HIM FO REALSIES. It's more like, OOO he's so... enigmatic. I must figure him out! This sort of persuasive thing he's got going... and those runes in the dirt. Hmmm, there must be more to him that meets the eye.
And the fact that he's going to all this trouble for a GIRL. Haha, he would. What a silly, silly teenage boy. He couldn't just wear the suit and talk about cartoon characters, no. He has to go find the impossible-to-find magical plant in the FORBIDDEN FORREST, in the middle of the NIGHT, and drag Neville and Scorpius with him. Now that is a walking *facepalm* right there, am I right?
Again, your depiction of the professors was perfect and had me in stitches. Flitwick, hahahaha, it's like the Headmaster position MAKES you crazy or something.
Come on, Neville, you must know that students are constantly stealing from the house elves who live to serve them! A lovely little jibe at all those fanfic cliches. Not sure if it was intended, but it made me laugh either way.
A boy with a seemingly unnatural ability to play and strategise in Quidditch but who lacked any self-knowledge or social adaptability outside of the pitch. Ron's son through and through, isn't he? poor boy...
"That's too practical," they said at the same time... This whole Neville and Scorpius talking at the same time shtick was so funny! And yes, MUCH too practical for dear ole Hugo...
Well, at least Hugo isn't galavanting off in the Forbidden Forest alone? Maybe? Possibly?
AnnieAuthor's Response: I loved the idea of joining what seemed to be a--you have the word that I used to myself when writing the plot--ragtag team out on an impossible mission. Hugo came to me because I thought that I could exaggerate Ron pretty well, and Neville's one of my favourites, and then Scorpius...well, if you can't tell from my set on the forums, I sort of like him a lot, so he had to be there. (I like my version of him; some other ones, but mostly mine.)
Yep. *grins* Thought that that was pretty teenage-boy-ish. Course being a girl it's often hard to draw the line between humorous and ridiculous, but I didn't worry about that too much here. It's Hogwarts, for Merlin's sake, all kind of crazy stuff goes down at Hogwarts.
I agree, I think you have to be, if not certifiably, at least seemingly gaga to be headmaster. Just a requisite. Flitwick's generally so likable, so I decided to make it weird by exaggerating the cheer :)
Hehe I definitely did this one on purpose. Hoping it doesn't hurt too many feelings, but I feel like it's a go-to plot when writers are looking for adventure. I'm sort of against go-to plots.
Hehe thanks so much for the review! You've really made my day with these :) Report Review
Seriously, I hit the jackpot here. I can hardly believe it. I had all but given up hope of ever finding a proper Hugo story on the archives but LOW. HERE IS ONE AND IT IS AWESOME AND I LOVE IT. (yeah, I'm fangirling here, just a tad. BUT IT'S FOR YOU!)
Again, I just... oh my god Hugo is just the biggest walking *facepalm* I have ever met. On so many levels. The drooling, the untucked shirts and just stumbling around like a crazy. He should be committed, honestly, if he wasn't so darn hilarious.
I love how on one hand Rose decides it is pointless to help him and leaves him to his own devices, whereas Scorpius finds himself mentally cowed into helping him out. And poor Neville, he has no idea what he's in for really, haha.
Hugo frowned in the smirking way that he thought was pretty cool That line is just SO Hugo, I can hardly stand it.
Yeah, I know," Hugo said, shaking his head. Silly Rose. "That's what the suit is for." Oh god, I almost don't even *want* to see what happens because it might be too painfully embarrassing.
...Hugo Weasley standing in the doorway to the greenhouse, gesturing wildly with his hands, which flapped dangerously close to his face and consistently wide eyes. hahahahahaha, this put such a funny picture in my mind, I LOLed for about 2 minutes solid.
Why do I feel like this is all going to somehow lead to Hugo traveling to the Arctic to try and get some of this silly plant? It just sounds like something insane that he would do.Author's Response: haha fangirl away! (flattered, really ;) )
I'm really glad and relieved, even, that this story is unique (at least to you, which matters to me !! ), because I thought I took pains to make it original :)
You're right, that's the perfect way to describe him, haha.
Hehe, I'm glad that you like it! Your feeling is pretty apt...you seem to have a good hold on Hugo's character already ;)
OH MY GOD I THINK I LOVE YOU.
Seriously, I've never been so happy to do a review exchange in my life. Hugo is just so unlove and you've made him come to life her and just -- just --- *hearts times a billion* Your physical description of him was so nice. I got a great feel for his character simply through Neville's eyes and how this weird dichotomy present in Hugo was represented so well, I just wanted to pat him on the head (which, anyone who knows me well, is the highest form of praise from me).
I also thought you wrote Neville's perspecitve wonderfully. A lot of times, writers have issues with writing like an adult/teacher might think or act (myself included I think at points), and Neville seemed in character yet, also somehow grown up and professorly all at the same time. I also enjoyed all the little details you put in about his class (and Luna!). Those are the type of little things that make me fall in love with stories because it shows what care the writer has taken and it was really funny. Heh, the fluffy pink earmuffs.
...which, in Neville's humble opinion, seemed to occur more often in the life of Hugo Weasley than any other student he'd ever met. Not that he was one to compare. This made me giggle.
I'm really very curious about what Hugo was asking these questions for, silly boy. Bahaha, something that can be worn on a headdress and also as a Quaffle. Sounds fascinating! I shall read on happily!
AnnieAuthor's Response: haha you're so nice!! :)
I'm so glad that you like Hugo! I'm rather fond of him this way, myself. I thought that I've read enough stories of him being a stinker or a sourpuss; I mean, Ron was just really mean for like, one or two books, doesn't mean his kid is going to be evil!
I'm sure that even if Hugo wouldn't know what to do with a pat on the head, he'd at least sort of appreciate it anyways :)
Aw Neville. I just love him. I tried really hard to create his persona as a teacher and as a source of knowledge, so I'm glad that it came through and you thought it was effective!
Eeek looks like you've taken the bait!! hehe don't worry, your questions shall be answered!
I'm also very glad to have taken part in the exchange! It was fate, probably, seeing as we both loved each other's stories so much ;) Report Review
I LOVE YOU TOO GINA. I DID NOTHING. NOTHING I TELL YOU. IN FACT, I ALMOST KILLED THIS CHAPTER DEAD.
That said, I LURVE this chapter, you know I do. I've been DYING to meet Scorpius and we did! And seriously, I ship Fred/Anjali and Scorpius/Bea more that everrr. Bea and Scorpius together = PERFECTION AND BISCUIT CLINKING YAY!
Also, Vixen McSexylegs is love. She's no Teacup McKettleson, but she'll do quite nicely, I should think. And this chapter made me hungryyy. All this biscuit treacle Pickled Plumfish talk. I WANT SOME.
RIGHT. THE PLOTTY-NESS THAT HAPPENED WAS AWESOME TOO. VERY... PLOTTY AND I LIKED THAT. (I'm not really in the best frame of mind right now. I'm a bit insane -- well, moreso than usual anyway. kjgbs;kdf;ldhfg;s)
You're a darling and I love you. Great job!
AnnieAuthor's Response: ILUUU YOU DID EVERYTHING. < 3
YOU AND YOUR SHIPS :3 AND BISCUIT CLINKING IS THE SIGN OF TRUE BRAIN BUDDIES. EXCEPT YOU KNOW. THEY AREN'T. EXCEPT THEY ARE. ... IT MAKES SENSE LATER, TRUST ME ;)
I KNOW I WANT SOME TOO. ESPECIALLY TREACLE TART. VIXEN MCSEXYLEGSSS I OWE THAT TO YOU TOO.
PLOTTY INDEED. AND IT'S ONLY THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG...
ILUUU AGAIN. Report Review
It's really rare to find a piece written in first person from Sirius' point of view and I think that added a really interesting perspective to this situation. It all read really easily and I thought you wrote the James/Lily situation quite well, as well as giving Sirius a bit of back story as to why he might have been so cold towards women in the future.
The only thing I thought you might be able to improve was the dialogue. It seemed a bit too formal for the characters and their level of close friendship. Maybe try reading it out loud to see whether the flow of it works? That way it might seem a bit more natural.
AnnieAuthor's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm glad that you think doing this in first person added to the story and that its not usually done. Also i'm glad that you liked my james/lily situation and that i did a good job for a backstory as to why Sirius will be the way he is.
Thank you for your insight into the conversations i will deffinatley try to remember that the next time i write something to try and read it outloud and hear how well it flows. That is a great piece of advice. Thanks for your time and reading and reviewing my oneshot, it means a lot!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
Heyo! Ellerina here from the Forums for a review trade (perhaps?).
I thought the idea behind this was adorable! What an awesome Valentine's Day! I could completely sympathize with Tonks as she was trying to get ready for their date. I usually go through about 3 outfits just getting ready for school, haha.
I also thought the way you expressed the conflict that Remus had gone through with their relationship. It certainly wasn't an easy journey on any level, was it? And if any character could pull off something as romantic as the garden scene here, it would be Remus.
I think that for your first story on the archives this was great! There were a few issues with commas (don't worry, I often over-used/abuse them. It's my weakness, haha), but I think perhaps reading it out loud would help with knowing exactly where you want the pauses to be.
All in all, good job!Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions, Yes I am a bit comma addicted, Ha Ha! I will be reading and reviewing for you over the next couple of days. Thanks again Report Review
Hey, it's Ellerina from the Forums for our review trade!
Wow! The description in this is just... the picture you painted in the opening with the blood mixing with the mud and the lightning, I could really see it! And you carry that all the way through until the very end, with Merope's death. It's really lovely to read.
I also have always thought that Merope was such an incredibly tragic character. Doomed to be a squib in such a family and then, on top of that, fall in love with a MUGGLE who could never love her back. I feel like you captured her heartbreak and desperation on so many levels with this and it was a joy to read. Well, not really a JOY, because it's happy, but perhaps a pleasure?
The only thin, and if this is new, I completely understand and sympathize, I would go over this with a fine-toothed comb for tense confusion. There were a few spots that tripped me up while I was reading this the first time.
AnnieAuthor's Response: hehe thank you so much!! Yeah, spelling and grammer and tense are my big issues!! Ill go through here in a week or so and touch it up!! But im so busy!! ^_^
Thank you so much again that was really a self esteem boost there!! ^_^ I really was proud of this because i think she is that start of Tom and who he is even though he never knew her, so i thought i could capture them both! :) Thank you so much for the comment on the imagry, that means so much to me you have no idea!!!
Jess Report Review
I READ THIS BEFORE. I REMEMBER. I WAS ALL TEDDY YOU JERK. VICTOIRE IS JUST. JUST. UGH.
That said, I love this for a lot of reasons. First because I can see where you first started to go down the dark!Teddy path, that ended with TAFD, which is awesome. I can also see how you were working on your descriptive writing and this is really beautiful! But I can definitely see where you were going and how you ended up at the sheer beauty that is your Luna story.
It makes me laugh and laugh and laugh that our Teddy/Molly stories are so similar, with the weddings and Victoire, but somehow they are really different as well.
I think my favorite line is definitely one near the end: "...it will be nearly impossible to hide the gaping, red wound where her heart once pumped." It's so vivid and painful sounding. I love it.
AnnieAuthor's Response: Anie. I loves you.
I hadn't even thought of this as the beginning of the dark Teddy path, since the two stories are so stylistically different. But that's a great point!! They are both so cunning and deceiving and maniacal. I have always had a tendency to slip into discription... sometimes I literally have to review things I've written to make sure something actually happens or is said, because I can write description for eons.
They are so similar. I love it. Like two different angles on the same issue. Only, I feel like your Molly is more whole than mine if that makes sense.
-xx- Report Review
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