Reading Reviews From Member: WitnesstoitAll
  
608 Reviews Found

Review #26, by WitnesstoitAllOur Post-Relationship Friendship: One day after

2nd December 2012:
Hullo!

This was such an enjoyable read!! I'm not all that big of a next-generation fan, especially where Scorpius and Rose are concerned, but this was so fresh and funny and absolutely lovely that I couldn't help but be sucked in by it all. Your scorpius is darling -- woebegone is an excellent term. I love the use of first person for this story, and you really seem to have gotten inside of his head quite well. Call me a Rose, but I think his relationship with his mum is a little sad, too. I couldn't imagine a mother who couldn't be vulnerable enough to spend time with her child without her face and hair being done up. But, then again, Scorpius does make a valid point -- that's his only experience of mother and so to him, that's what mother is. I thought you did an excellent job of weaving in some Malfoy family history and the general public's views on the Malfoy family into Scorpius' narrative -- it all seemed like a very realistic outcome for them.

I found myself to be particularly fond of Scorpius' work environment. It really seems like an interesting cast of characters. Especially Lottie. That girl -- lololol. I sort of can picture this terribly eager girl with round glasses and no idea how Scorpio takes his coffee, but just trying to be helpful and there. She's adorable. Scorpius' interpretation of her seems a little sad though -- that he sees her as a girl with little self esteem who deems herself not very important, being only a secretary. :( I rather agree with Rose on the matter -- maybe she does feel more comfortable with guys. And besides, who wouldn't want to chat with scorpius?? He seems perfectly lovely.

I dont' find myself feeling all that sad for scorpius having lost Rose -- and I hope that he can remain friends with her even if she changes her mind and decides she wants their relationship back. I also find myself hoping on a small level that Scorpius and Lottie get together. Call me crazy (I know it's only the first chapter) but ships must sail, and I call captaining the S.S. Lottius.

All in all this was a great chapter!! I would suggest (now that the craziness of Nano is over) going through and doing a quick edit. There were a few typos through out this chapter, but nothing so bad as to distract from the context of the story. Excellent job, and I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of this story!

Melissa

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Review #27, by WitnesstoitAllA Mother's Tale (Task One challenge): A Mother's Tale

25th November 2012:
Here from the forums Review Tag!!

So when I was browsing over your page to decide which of your one shots I wanted to read, this one immediately caught my eye. Then, when I looked more closely at it and realized that this was a task one entry... I very nearly decided against reading it -- there were so many stories about characters and dragons whether real or metaphorical, that I just wasn't certain that I could stomach another one. However, I did click it and I'm quite pleased with what I found. This was very different from what I had expected it to be, and I suppose, a lesson on why not to judge a book (or a fic, in this case :P ) by it's cover.

I thought you did a very good job with Narcissa's characterization -- no matter her political or social affiliations, it was always clear in canon that she was a devoted and loving mother. I also thought you did a good job of balancing her internal monologe with the action of the scene -- the part with the boggart was particularly well written and gave me the chills.

Perhaps it's just your style of writing (I know myself, that I sometimes have a way of sort of writing sentences in a backwards/round-about sort of a way), but I felt like the only thing in this fic that could perhaps be improved on was the sentence construction. Some of your sentences seemed to use too many words to get to the point causing the flow of the story to be disrupted. As I said earlier, this happens to me all the time! I've found that reading a chapter out loud helps me to find the places where the wording gets a bit awkward, so perhaps you might find that helpful!

All in all, this was a lovely little one shot that I wouldn't at all of had a hard time fitting into my concept of pre-Hogwarts Canon if it wasn't for your A/N at the end!! It was well written and very sweet to see a softer more feminine side of Narcissa.

Well done!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I know what you mean, I have read a lot of Task one entries, and I couldn't stomach any more of them either, lol. That's why I tried to write something that was a little more different and hopefully original, and glad you liked it xD

I am happy to know that you liked my characterisation of Narcissa. I tried to maintain a balance between the action and the internal monologue really hard, especially because I have never written action before, so good to know it worked for you :)

Since I am not a native english speaker, I understand that my sentence construction can be a little off at times, I just don't know what to do about it. Thanks for the tip though, I'll try the next time I am writing :)

Thank you so much for reviewing this, once again. I am glad you enjoyed this!


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Review #28, by WitnesstoitAllSlytherin Career Day: A Long Day in the Dungeons

24th November 2012:
I just wanted to take a moment to leave you a quick review for this story! I adored everything about this: snape's voice was spot on (especially the bits where he'd write comments by each of the student's names), your comedic timing was impeccable, your exagerated characterizaton of the slytherin house had me in stitches, and the last line really served to tie it all together. This was such a creative and well written one shot!! I'm so glad that you wrote it and that I took the time to read it!! Reading this reminds me how little of your work I've actually read, and what a shame that is!! I do hope to make some more time in the future!

Author's Response: Hi, there!

This was one of the most fun things I've ever written. There's so much snark to tap into when you write Snape and to be quite honest about it, I'm a pretty snarky person. I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #29, by WitnesstoitAllHazardous : The Reservation

21st November 2012:
Heyyy. Sorry it took me so long to get to this!! I really am glad I finally got the chance to! This was a fantastic chapter. I'm going to keep my review short and to the point for sake of time, but please know how much I really did enjoy this!! Charlie is such a babe and I loved the chance to be inside his head and see he philosophy on life and on his dragons and such. He's thoughtful, but manly and gruff and so, so funny. I thought his banter with Gus was great -- though bird is a commonly used term for girl in the UK now, it's not at all antiquidated from what I understand. Based on things I've heard from my friend currently studying in the UK, boys there use bird like boys here use the word chick. The only other correction I had for you is the bit about the dragon's neck posture -- straight and angled back, not angles :P I'm sure that's just a typo, but I thought I'd point it out to you.

Other than that this was a fabulous chapter!! I know he's fictional, but I'm just so proud of him!!

Great chapter

Author's Response: Melissa! Sorry for the long wait for my response. I was out of town for a bit.

Ahh I wasn't sure about bird when I used that. I was on a website that made it seem like it's pretty outdated, but you know how accurate this things are *eye roll* then the other did compare it to chick. But chick is pretty much only used by older people where I'm from in the US, so maybe that's what made me think Bird was an older word.. hmm I'm going to have to go pick a Brit's mind... haha thank you for pointing that you. And yes, angled, not angels.. haha thank you :P.

I'm so happy you liked this chapter ♥ Tonks has been super hard to write after this because I had so much FUN playing with Charlie and the Dragons.

Seeing your reviews always puts me in the best mood ever ♥ thank you for stopping by!



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Review #30, by WitnesstoitAllPercy Weasley is a Vampire: The Hallows Café

21st November 2012:
Omg. Sarah... the adorable-ness of this chapter, I swear I'm the grinch and my heart just grew three sizes that day (this day?... st00pid quote). Your Percy is precious!! I seriously love him -- avoiding positions of power for the sake of avoiding the obsession that comes along with it, for the sake of maintaining the all-important relationship with his family. The image of him preparing dozens of sandwiches each morning is both adorable and hilarious. He's such a particular fellow that I can easily imagine him assuring that the ratio of meat to cheese is just so, making sure the angle of the mustard strip is just right --heck, he may even use a protracter. lol. Only percy -- this percy in particular -- would seriously think that this date was a good one and deserving of a second. Poor Percy, lol. I did particularly like the bit where he asked Audrey if he could write her to get to know her the old fashioned way -- that he was more eloquent on paper than in person. he's such a babe. If percy/audrey wasn't cannon and wonderfully lovely, I'd protest and ship myself with him. :P

Audrey continued to be her infinitely amusing, slightly off-beat self. I love her subtlety or lack there of -- the garlic, the silver, the ever so casual mentions of blood. I want to see this Audrey in the future motherin over little molly and lucy... I'm sure they have amazing times at home playing together and listening to stories and such. I literally cringed when she noticed somebody else's lipstick on the straw -- dakfjwoieja eurgh.

Oh! and this was such a small bit of the chapter, but I really enjoyed it as it brought a layer of culture and realism to the world of harry potter. When Audrey asks Percy if he is religious and he responds with his astrological sign. I don't know why, but that tiny little detail really made an impact on me and got my wheels turning about the Weasley family and their experience with religion in general.

This was such a great chapter! I can't wait for the next one!! they never fail to amuse me greatly.

Oh, one tiny typo I found, in case you want to fix it: "when the sunlight him them" I think him should be hit. :)

Again, great chapter!! Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: MARSHMELLOW. GET IT. MELLOW INSTEAD OF MALLOW. AS IN MEL. AS IN MELISSA. AS IN I AM IN THE FESTIVE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT TODAY AND YOU ARE A GREEN CHRISTMAS-TREE SHAPED MARSHMALLOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME, PLEASE MAKE ME STOP TALKING.

Percy using a protractor to arrange his sandwiches - LULZ. I can definitely see him doing that. He loves to micromanage the small stuff, in the areas he does have control over. And then he goes to work and is at the mercy of other peoples' appetites. Poor Percy. He obviously belongs in a top ministry position but he suppresses the temptation.

I would ship Percy/Mel, jsyk.

Oooh that little astrological detail. I know that the magical world acknowledges Easter and Christmas; on the whole I think that they do practice religion but keep it out of Hogwarts for practical reasons, because they contain all walks of life. But Ron doesn't appear to have been raised in any particular religion and I think the Weasley children wouldn't know very much about religion at all, judging from what we know of them. So Percy took his best stab at it and missed. XD

Thank you for pointing out my typo! It slipped under the radar during my proofread, the sneaky little thing.

♥ Thank you for being so awesome and supportive, Mel. U da best~


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Review #31, by WitnesstoitAllPercy Weasley is a Vampire: Pasty Patsy Percy

3rd November 2012:
omggg. I literally may suffocate I'm laughing so hard at this chapter. It was brilliant and ridiculous and so, so so good. This story!! Gah, I seriously am in such awe of you and your talent to create something new and unique and brilliant and entertaining everytime you write something new. Every story is different but equally fabulous, and this one is no different.

I really really enjoyed getting to see some more of Percy -- I nearly forgot Audrey was still tailing him until her name would pop up and she'd make some off the wall assumption. It is so, so interesting to see Percy in such a small role, professionally speaking. At the same time, the image of him pushing around a trolley of puddings and sandwiches is priceless. I do hope he's wearing a little frilly apron... and if not he is in my head. :P

GENIUS.

Oh, Audrey. Of course Percy is a vampire laying low as a dispenser of snacks while plotting to overthrow the magical governing body of england. What other explanation could there be??

I felt so defensive when JUELUE (LOLOLOL) and Robbins were bullying him. I'd imagine that percy was bullied a lot as a child and not just from his siblings -- preteens are not nice, and so I'm sure school was a bit of a rough environment for him until he got that Prefect badge.

THE WEASLEY FAMILY IN HIS HEAD. Sarah. Seriously, I don't have the words to tell you how funny and absolutely perfect that was. Everything from Mrs Weasley scolding George to Ron's tendency to speak without thinking and everything... perfection. (H)

I laughed particularly hard when Percy approached Audrey speaking to the weasleys in his head outloud. lololol. What a loonytune. The best part about this entire chapter was that even after acting like a complete nutter, Audrey still agreed to go to lunch with him.

And I'll end this super rambly review by quoting this one part of the chapter that really really made me laugh quite hard:

"“So,” he went on with much more bravado than he felt. “How about hot pants? I mean – pants on fire – I mean…ahhh…” He smacked himself in the face, straightening up. “Tea!” He was fairly screaming now. “Please? Do you like tea? Does your boyfriend like tea? You and I and your boyfriend could all go out for tea together. My treat!”"

lolol. Percy percy percy. you just asked to be a third wheel.

Gah. This is fabulous and I can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens at lunch. :)

Loff.

Author's Response: BAW, MEL. ♥

Audrey's a few fries short of a happy meal. Lulz, Percy in an apron. I explain this a little more in the next chapter, but Percy intentionally limited himself to the small role of sandwich-pusher. He thinks that if he became more important within the Ministry, his family would dislike him again and he would turn back into a prat. So there was a bit of sacrifice.

Juelue HEEE, I am cl3v3r. Yeah, you're probably right about everyone bullying Percy when he was younger. :( That's most likely the reason why he was flashing his badge all over the place. Got to play every card you've got - especially in a family where preceding siblings have already been successful in other areas. And come to think of it, I don't think he had any friends in the books. There was Penelope, but she was the only one mentioned.

:( Now I am sad.

The Weasley family in his head was totes inspired by WAT! I've been itching to write them because of your story. I'm hoping to squeeze in some George into chapter 4!

Percy and Audrey are quite cracky in this story. It's really enjoyable to write. XD Percy volunteering himself on a date with Audrey's nonexistent boyfriend. He is the picture of smooth.

♥ You da best 5eva.


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Review #32, by WitnesstoitAllHazardous : Graduation

24th October 2012:
Jamiii. I'll haveyou know that you are a terrible influence. Terrible. Here I am with 60 pages of study guide that I need to learn *coughmemorizecough* by tomorrow and I log onto the forums just to make sure that I don't have any PM's from new members asking for common room passwords and lo and behold I read your status. and here I am.

GAHHH. I ADORE TONKS/CHARLIE, LIKE TO THE MOON AND BACK. This was a really great opening chapter. I really enjoy the voice you give to Tonks!! The bit about why she thinks Charlie wears jeans is hilarious. I think I'd like to see a little bit more of that spunkiness in the narrative -- it's something that is really unique to the first person narrative and since she does have a great voice, may as well take advantage.

I enjoyed all of the scenes, but the opening bit, the mini prologue of sorts, seemed a tad formal -- there were a lot pretty words and extended metaphors, and don't get me wrong, it was a very good bit of writing, but I almost felt as though it was too pretty or formal (stylistically) for the rest of the fic. Please keep in mind that this is a really minute critique, and just something for you to think about. All in all this was a great first chapter and I cannot wait to read the rest!!

alsdkjfowaiejoijf great work. :)

Author's Response: I was so surprised to see you! I can't even lecture you about being naughty and putting off studying because this review was just too awesome ♥

I think the first few paragraphs might meld better by the end when you see where it's coming from. But because I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets.. think of that as Tonks's final goodbye to Charlie. She's ready to move on with her life, to be with someone who makes her happy and healthy, not the catastrophic kind of happy she and Charlie have.

First person is terrifying to me so far, haha! In the span of a week I've done first and second person stories. I must be going crazy. I'll absolutely try and add a bit more spunk in the next chapter. I'm trying to avoid the... I don't know. There's this personality trait I don't like about her, and I don't know what it is.. But I know I'm trying to avoid it, haha!

I am so happy you liked this first bit ♥ the second one is nearly done. But I'm trying to finish chapter 11 of BTF before I put it in the queue.

Good luck studying, m'dear! And thank you so much for stopping by, this review made my day ♥



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Review #33, by WitnesstoitAllPercy Weasley is a Vampire: A New Lead

20th October 2012:
Hellooo. (that hello would have more O's if not for the 3 character rule that would inevitably turn it back into a plain old hello)

I've been very excited for this story since you first began pondering writing a Percy/Audrey fic and here it is at last!! I am always so stunned by your ability to create these vibrant, diverse characters, and your latest, Miss Audrey Bellpepper, has continued the pattern. She's so funny and lulzy and her internal monologue is to die for. There are so so many things I can comment on that made me snort, but I'll limit myself to a few:

"No one abided by the vigilante code anymore. It was madness."

LOL. Poor Audrey, the last of the vigilantes. She takes her job so seriously and it contrasts so, so perfectly with how off beat and funny her thoughts actually are. It's great b/c I don't think she thinks of her thoughts as funny -- and that sort of oblivious modesty is very refreshing.

"It’s where all the head-cases ended up."

LOLOLOL. I know she's referencing Wood here (which in and of itself is hilarious, crazy wood falling off his broom and being shunted to paranormal detective office...lol), but seeing as this is a PERCY/audrey and Percy more or less lives and breathes for the ministry... she's essentially already classified her future hubby and father of her children as a headcase. I appreciate that. :P

"Maybe he was keeping an eye on the Minister himself, chatting him up like all the Weasleys were prone to do just to remind everyone else that they were on first-name terms with old Shacklebolt."

Outsider opinion of the Weasleys (H) love it.

Gahhh. all of your discriptions are so wonderful and brisk and so well suited to the pace of this piece. It has a very film noir feel to it, with the detective jargon and what not, but at the same time, it's sort of spoofy and goofy and a wee bit cracky and it's like you've created this wonderful new crack-noir genre and it's brilliant.

I can't wait to see where this goes next!! Knowing you it could be absolutely anywhere. :) Great job, as always... yet another sarah-fic has found it's home on my favorites list.

Author's Response: Ermegherd, Mel, this review. ♥

Poor Audrey, indeed. The last of the vigilantes! She is super srs about her job. She thinks she is the most profesh ever. And she gets /really/ into her missions, too. Does not do anything halfway.

lulz, Audrey classifying Percy as a headcase. He'd have to be, in order to put up with her. She's a few fries short of a happy meal.

The pace of this piece, I've noticed, comes very easily to me because it's so quick, so I'm finding myself typing a mile a minute to keep up with it. It's a lot like the pace of my deleted Next Gen Wayward, may it rest in peace. Crack-noir is a perfect description of it. SO PLEASED YOU LIKE IT. And so pleased you're reading this. ♥ Seriously, Mel, you've already read two of my novels and now you're reading this and I can't thank you enough for your unconditional support. It means a lot to me.

♥ ♥


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Review #34, by WitnesstoitAllA Multitude of Sins: A Multitude of Sins

7th October 2012:
My goodness, Rachel -- this is gorgeous and so intellectual and gahh. Your severus things are the only severus things for me (with a few exceptions) and so this serves as a kick to my memory and procrastination that I should have been and should be reading sneth. gahhh.

Anyway, the thought that hope is the eighth deadly sin is so haunting and almost painful -- hope that someday he can find a redemption from the other seven perhaps? I had such an image (thanks in part to the DHp1 film) of snape standing in the window watching the marching columns of students in the last few passages of this story -- I'm assuming you intended that, but if now, kudos b/c it worked gloriously.

I tend to find myself more fond of more loosely structured onse shots lately (when I'm writing, not necessarily when I'm reading) and the effectiveness that this little one shot packed reminds me how powerful structure can be... it was succint and organized and in being so left such an impact. I loved the way the quotes were interspersed in this, and your references to thing muggle that snape would know and have repressed and possibly detested. I especially loved the reference to atlas... but I'm currently rereading atlas shrugged for about the third time. so, yeah.

Your imagery here was amaz-sauce. It was sparse and succinct just as snape is, but so effective. I especially loved the bit about lily beind a feather dropped from a bird. Where does your brain get these things?? share yo secretz woman. :P

Anywah, this was brilliant and you are brilliant and if I use the word brilliant again I'm not sure how'd I'd do so, but anyway. (too much coffee)

Great one shot!

Author's Response: Mel! ♥ It was such a lovely surprise to see you dropping by this story, and of course I'm so flattered to hear your compliments on my Snape. :3 I would honestly love so much for you to read Sneth; that would make my entire life, basically. And hopefully someday you will! Of course you know you don't have to at all, but I can't help it; that story's dear to me. ;)

'Hope' is largely that he'll find redemption for the other seven, yes -- and really, hope's what killed him. He lasted for all these years solely on the premise of Lily, either dead or alive, and it's that hope that he could in some way make it up to her that brought him to this point, sitting in the headmaster's office. I did not intend that image of Snape watching the columns of students marching past, but that image really does fit! I'm glad you pointed that out! :D

I'm the entire opposite, of course -- structure rules my life. I'm so happy that its structure impacted you, though. :) The quotes were the first things I went and found, after deciding that yes, I was going to write /this/ one-shot, and I actually had to pare it down to three from... seven, I think? The Atlas reference came from nowhere, but I really like it, and for some reasons allusions are often factored into my one-shots, of late. (Also -- never read Atlas Shrugged, but I want to!)

The feather dropped from a bird thing? No idea. Honestly. :D SOMETIMES THINGS JUST POP INTO MY BRAIN AND I RUN WITH THEM. TRUFAX. I want coffee now. ♥ Seriously, thank you so much for reviewing this for me! You're fab!


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Review #35, by WitnesstoitAlletc. etc. (and life goes on): The Casualties of War

7th October 2012:
Ginaaa.

So I just power read these fifteen chapters and I'm kicking myself b/c I've not read it sooner. I was literally rolling at some of the snark and wit. Everything is so, so fabulous. Your social commentarty is to die for -- literally. I almost choked on my coffee on more than one ocassion. I adore the cast of characters you've pulled together here. Appy... o m g. Appy. lololol. Clemence is such a strong character with such a strong voice. I am so so glad you began writing this story in the first person... it really gives way to insights on her. I know that clemence is sort of harsh and snarky and a little cold, but I found myself identifying with her on so many levels reading this -- her tendency to not mind stepping on people to get what she wants, her need to be important while more or less not giving credit to those who regard her as important -- she's really a great OC. I'm basically in lurves with this story and cannot wait to read more. I needed another WIP to read about as much as Appy needs more glitter, but I clicked on it and now there is no turning back. Easily one of my favorite stories on the archives.

So to reiterated, this is fabulous, you are fabulous, and I'm rubbish for not reading this sooner. Looking forward to the next update!!

Author's Response: HI MEL. I am sorry for the coffee choking, it must not be good for your laundry bill. APPY. It's really all you can use to describe her, because she is just so. /Appy/. And there is /never/ enough glitter for appy.

etc totally has to be in first person. Partly due to the unreliability of Clemence and the other part is just that this is my rant space lolol. What's great is that people who know me might be able to pinpoint where I get my inspiration from, and it can have nothing with each other, but when I stick it all in the fic, I realize it all boils down to human nature. I love writing her in these recent chapters because I finally get to make her uncomfortable - and that's the only way to see what's underneath. She's come to represent the snobbish, self-important intellectual, which can strike close to home.

YOU ARE FAB ♥


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Review #36, by WitnesstoitAllBreak Out: VIII.

6th October 2012:
Rachel, I cannot believe tht you are apologizing for the darkness in this chapter -- it was perfect. I know that you said you didn't intend for this story to be this depressing, but honestly your ability to transport the readers into the depths of dispair and horror that your characters stuck at Hogwarts are subject to will make the end all the more gratifying. I'm consistantly amazed at the way you craft the experiences of so many characters in such stark realism. You don't just tell us how Charlie is faring... you allow us to fare it along with him. And let me tell you, I love Charlie Weasley -- I had actually forgotten about him until this chapter (sad, I know) and then you handed him such a crucial role -- his experience and his hope and his horror at the display of Harry represents so much more than just his personal experience. He more or less is every one of the prisoners working in castle... he is every person who once believed Harry to be the savior of the Wizarding world. He is everyone who has somebody on the outside and wonders whether or not he should even hope to see them again. And what a lovely job he does with playing all of those roles.

And then there's hermione. Goshhh. She's such a strong individual in canon, and you really are doing a phenomenal job of capturing that in this story. I cannot wait for Ron to come in and save her. I hope that he is on the back of a dragon in armour brandishing a wand like a lance. :P I kid, I kid... but seriousy. Ron's a babe... he could totes pull it off. Remind me to mention something about hermione's broken wrist to you sometime -- I have a medically relevant suggestion for you. :)

Annnd Dean. I know that in a story like this, casulties are a must and that using names of characters minor to your story but familiar to readers packs a punch of emotion and realism. BUT DEANNN. CREY. I just feel really badly for Seamus now with Neville and Dean and Harry gone... poor gryffindor house, dropping like flies. I suppose that's what they get for being the 'curageous' house. :(

Anyway, this is a long and nonsensicaly rambly review for which I apologize, but your story makes me think and feel so many things that it can't be helped.

Can't wait to read the next chapter!!

Author's Response: I'm honestly so, so pleased that you're enjoying how dark this story, Mel. ♥ And I guess when I type that out it seems like a bit of a paradoxical statement -- but I love darkness. I love sad stories, dark stories, angsty stories, stories with rain and tears and shouting and blood and all that. And here, I wanted no barriers, save for ToS. So your comments... they're so, so appreciated. :)

I don't question that you forgot about Charlie; he's not really cropped up in any other chapters, has he? Nevertheless, I could not abandon him, because he is one of my favorite Weasley boys! I love your comment about his really being exemplary of every other prisoner in the castle, because really, that's pretty true. I /want/ you to feel what he's feeling, and the fact that you are makes me really happy!

Now, did you look at my plot notes? That is EXACTLY how Ron's going to charge in! ;) I'm very excited for you to read more on Hermione, and more on just how this whole save-the-castle-from-doom-and-gloom goes down; somehow, I feel it's not what people are expecting... but I could be wrong, and it could be exactly what you guys are expecting. We'll see! :P

Isn't that weird, though, that a lot of the Gryffindor boys of that year are dead? Ugh, now that you've brought that up... Harry, Neville, Dean. That would be so strange, to know that sixty percent of the boys in that small, circular dorm room are dead. Wow. I've never thought about it like that before.

You are fab. ♥ Thank you so much for coming by to leave such a sweet review on this!! I'm so honored to have you as a reader. :3 Should be posting the next chapter sometime later today!


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Review #37, by WitnesstoitAllA Cartography of Grief: You Are The Only Map I Know

15th September 2012:
Okay, Missy. I warned you that this review would most likely be an insensible, incoherent mess of words, and I meant it. This was gorgeous -- the way it sort of saunters through time and flips back and forth between then and now, the extended map metaphor with the actual map wound together with it. You need to write more often because now my eyes are greedy for more.

Your Remus/Sirius is brilliant, and coming from me, that means a lot since I am typically a strict canon shipper. The moments from their lives that you portray her are so tender, knowing where it all eventually leads. D:

I'm going to point out a few lines that stood out to me, but know that I could have easily quoted this entire story.

The walls seem to close in on him until he’s gasping for air, each inhale and exhale spanning the length of a lifetime he’s outlived those he has loved.
^^ this. Just. This completely sums up post OotP Remus to me. It's such a simple sentence, but it carries so, so much in it's simplicity.

"You don’t even like girls,” he points out.

Sirius’s grin widens and he waggles his eyebrows, looking ridiculous, but Remus laughs anyway. “But I do like Remuses,” he admits.
^^ lol. just because this is so adorable that I had to quote it here. I literally felt my heart grow like 3 sizes ala grinch who stole christmas style when I read that.

(because he always returns, Remus tells himself)
^^this echoes the sentiment of Luna near the end of OotP so nicely... the whole, "things we lose have a way of coming back to us." and I don't know if you intended it or not, but it served to place it all in time so well.

Gah. Missy. Like I said, this is a gorgeous one shot. I'm completely convince that nobody writes Remus/Sirius like you do. Fabulous Job!!

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Review #38, by WitnesstoitAllHarry Potter and the Plot of Power: 00 Prologue

15th September 2012:
Hey!!

Here with your review from the forums review swap. So I was a bit hesitant when I read your summary. it sounded like a very complex plot, and sometimes (at least in my experience and observation) stories with in depth summaries tend to try to have the entire background of the story crammed into the first chapter -- but this was a breath of fresh air and found myself enormously relieved as I began reading it.

You did a phenominal job with building up enough curiousity and subtley providing information to hook a reader into the story. (THE LINE AT THE END?! ERMEHGERD.) And I thought you did really well writing a scientific setting despite not being of a scientific background (if I inferred your information from your A/N correctly). I am a scientist (biochemical biologist) in training and have worked in laboratories, and trust me, if I didn't find flaws with your descriptions, you are doing wonderfully!! I do have two small critiques for you regarding this chapter. 1.) the mention of your character wearing heels that clink across the floor... I think this is great b/c it really says a lot about her pristine sort of character, but in practice it is very dangerous and impractical to wear heels in a laboratory setting. The floors get really slippery when wet and there are often large grates covering drains in the floor that heels can get caught on. and 2.) you seem to have your research experiments based in the field of virology (both trials mentioned here) but at one point, the director suggest looking over the bacterial strain... viruses and bacteria are very different and viruses seem much better suited to the sort of inherited type thing that you're doing, so you may want to change that bacteria bit.

All in all this was a fabulous chapter and I'll likely keep an eye out for the next one!! Thanks for posting for a review swap, otherwise I'd likely not have noticed this story. :)

Author's Response: So! Over a year later I decide to respond to this review. Ugh, I'm so horrible at this. So sorry! The good thing is that you're getting one!

It is a very complex plot that I'm still trying to get all the details sorted out. However, I've learned that readers get bored when you try to cram everything in one chapter so. I know I do! So everything will be explained in a nice pace, at least that's what I hope. This chapter was meant more as an introduction to the new world and the new problem Harry's going to encounter.

And yes, you're absolutely right. I do not have a scientific background. The closet I have to it is a husband who went through some medical/science classes for his major and a sister who is going to be a nurse. But that's about it. I don't consider myself smart enough for the sciences. Haha. XD Anyway, I'm glad that you liked the scientific setting because I was definitely worried about that! Yeah, I kinda figured that wearing heels is a bit dangerous in that environment, however I figured she had sort of an 'admin' day where she didn't have to really be 'hands on'. However, I'll be definitely be keeping you point in mind in the future. And thank you for that second pointer!! I'll definitely go back and change that small bacteria bit.

Thank you for review and once again, so sorry for taking a YEAR to respond! I really appreciate your comments.

--Rosie


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Review #39, by WitnesstoitAllBreak Out: VII.

15th September 2012:
Ragtag heroes ahoy!

I loved this chapter... from Ron't musings in the opening scene to your descriptions of George (but of course I'm biased) to the conversation with all of the order members! Molly always and forever will be one of my favorite Weasleys, and you did such a phenomenal job with here here. Percy, too!

Gawd, Draco. 5eva a little ferrety git.

And I cannot wait to see what goes down in london. I adore the hodgepodge group you've selected for the little mission and really appreciate that you've brought seamus into the story!! He's quite often overlooked in the land of fic unless he's been paired off with Lavender in some romcom story or another.

Anywho, I digress. You are fabulous and a half and this review is such rubbish compared to how much I enjoyed this chapter, but such is life. I can't wait for the next update, and will be pulling for a Break Out sort of Dobby season. :P

Author's Response: Ahh, I did think you might like George here. :3 ♥ But I'm glad to hear it nevertheless! And Molly, of course. I love writing her, too, and I love how dedicated she is to her family. As for Percy, well... I just adore him. What can I say? And I've got things planned later on for him, too! He needs a bit of a knight-in-shining-armor moment.

I finished chapter nine, the London chapter, last week, and I'm really excited to post that. It turned out a bit less action-y than I wanted, but then again, the Death Eaters aren't, you know, burning down the city. They're a tad more subtle than that. ;) I can't wait to hear what you think of that! I loved writing Seamus in it, too. :D I do agree that he is rather overlooked...

Your reviews are never rubbish. Fact. ♥ The next update should be in... a little over a week, I'm thinking? And ACK, you are too kind! I am a puddle on the floor. :3 Thank you so much for such a lovely review!!


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Review #40, by WitnesstoitAllHow to Draw Almost Anything: How to Act Normal

15th September 2012:
heyyy Joloo.

Just a breif review b/c I adore this story to pieces and couldn't click away from it without leaving you some sort of squeey rambling paragraph. Sooo. Here we are: I adore this Scorpius (as I do all of your scorpii), but there is something incredibly gentle about his hands -- the way he runs his fingers over the Ultramarine watercolor block, and traces the heart on the desk top... that makes me automatically trust him. I also snorted at his paranoid thoughts as he locked both doors separating him from the spider plant (and how clever to make a /spider/ plant alive).

I Also enjoyed the opening scene... it did a good job of painting Scorpius' gratitude of being back at hogwarts and his apprehension of all the unknown factors involved in his new teaching position. I hope to see more of his involvement with some of the other staff members...

Gah. this is so brilliant and I can't wait to see where you go with it!! Oh, one last thing. Headmistress -Dot- House lololol. That's so, so true. It's very difficult to transition from people's proper titles to first names, and so I completely empathized with Scorpius on that front.

Author's Response: hoy molosso!

eee, thank you! I have endless, endless fun characterising all my Scorpii (no, really). And...yeah. Spider plant, spider plant, does whatever a spider plant does (spins webs).

He definitely has more involvement with other staff members! How about a bit of Neville in the next chapter...?

thank you so much! :D ♥


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Review #41, by WitnesstoitAllNo More Happy Thoughts: No More Happy Thoughts

9th September 2012:
Hey! I saw your status and figured I'd pop in and see what you've been up to writing-wise (hopefully you remember me?? If not discount this opening statement :P ). I have always had a very soft spot in my heart for George, especially now that I'm about half-way into a George and Angelina-centric novel. It's always very interesting to me to see how people handle his grief. This was a very touching moment, and I'm very glad you shared it!!

Excellent work and congrats on that 500 word count! I am much too wordy to ever pull something like that off. :P

Author's Response: Of course I remember you darlin! I was actually going to message you the other day because I was going through my old reviews and wanted to see what you thought of some of my new stuff ;)
I'm so glad you liked this one... It was one of those things that just sort of hit me out of nowhere and was written, edited and done in under an hour. LOL
I've always avoided that 500 challenge becuase I tend to be pretty wordy myself... but Merlin's beard! I pulled it off ;) LOL
Thanks so much for stopping by! Hopefully I'll hear from you again soon ;)
Much Love
~Moon~


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Review #42, by WitnesstoitAllLittle Rotten Heart: Shape Shift

2nd September 2012:
Wow! I really enjoyed reading this one shot. I have read a few things on your page now, and I can really see your improvement as a writer (especially in this piece). I loved your play on metaphors in the beginning! Clever writing always makes me smile. I thought that this was a great, well drown out portrayal of Peter and his crush on lily and of the silly sort of things young people do when they try to get somebody to like them... of course it always ends up badly.

I think my favorite line is the last one... about the frog becoming the rat. gah. all in all this was a great one shot!! Keep up the good work. :)

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Review #43, by WitnesstoitAllAnd Capers Ensue: And So It Begins Again

1st September 2012:
Heyyy!! Here I am at last, as promised. Took me long enough, right? I totally blame vet school. -_- Anyway, I digress. This was a fabulous chapter... lots of feels and lots of funny. There were so many things that I want to comment on, but literally I'd end up copying and pasting most of the chapter. lol. Just to name a few of your brilliant one-liners that made me chuckle out loud:

[i]charging up static electricity to unleash on unsuspecting nappers...

He wasn't aware that staircases even had relatives...[/i]

...and...

[i]Brewing was a piece of cake, and baking was the same thing but with literal cake[/i]

lololol. So funny. I'm always a tinge jealous at the how easy these jokes fit into the narrative of your story. It's a very cracky, but educated sort of humour that I enjoy very much. Oh, I also adored that the lizard said "meep" not sure why, but that made me chuckle.

AND ERMEHGERD. SMARMY SCORP IS SUCH A BABE -- BAKING WITH SUCH EASE, APOLOGIZING, INVADING HER PERSONAL SPACE, SMILING, BREATHING!!! HOW CAN ONE SO SMARMY BE SO FLUFFY. NOT FAIR.

Anyway, I smell redemption in the air and I hope nothing bad happens to scorpius in the next few chapters. I don't thing galliance is a normal characteristic for him, so he probably isn't very good at it.

anyway, great chapter!

Author's Response: Melll :3 I put off responding to this until I could finally get to editing Capers and now I am SO HIII.

Hee, my random crack needs a home and Capers shall give one to them. I remember describing that lizard as something else, but then I was like, what if it said meep. Lizards don't say meep, but let's make it say meep and SO IT STAYED~

BREATHING!!! YES HE'S QUITE ALIVE AND CHARMING THE AIR UP, NO? :3 lolol he probably is very terrible at galliance, to be sure, poor boy. he only knows how to shove cupcakes at people, but that's alll right.

♥ ♥


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Review #44, by WitnesstoitAllBreak Out: VI.

1st September 2012:
Another great chapter, Rachel!! I'm going to apologize now for the brevity of my review, but life is crazy and my to do list is eons long, but I wanted to be sure to let you know I read this chapter and enjoyed it immensely!!

Your characterization of Hermione was tops. I loved her relating her own surroundings to the settings of novels she's read before. Very nicely done. Also, it was great to see the cast of characters keeping her company in her imprisonment!! I adore Dean Thomas and am anxious to see him more as the story progresses. I also hope that Oliver gets a grip on himself and stops being so pessimistic (or realistic)... either way, it won't do them any good.

While I'm talking about characters... boy or boy did you do a great job with Bellatrix!!she's a touch character to even think about getting inside her head, but you did phenominally well. Writing a bellatrix and voldemort scene was quite the bold move!! You pulled it off spectacularly well.

Great chapter (I've still no theories on the blood droplets) and I can't wait for the next one!!

Author's Response: Mel! ♥ Oh my gosh, it's so, so fantastic to see you back here again. :) And no need for apologies, of course -- I completely understand the burdens of a long to-do list. I'm just really pleased you're still reading (and enjoying) this story at all!

Hermione's a sometimes tricky character for me to write, although I'm not sure why, because I find Harry and Ron pretty easy -- maybe it's because I identify a lot with her. Who knows? But regardless, it makes me really happy to hear you think I've got her accurately. :) And Bellatrix!! I was SO scared of writing her here -- thank you so much. You're so tops. ♥

No theories is an okay thing to have. :3 All will be revealed in due time, after all! Thank you to the moon and back for this review, Mel. Honestly... I really can't tell you. And I can't wait to see you back for the next update!


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Review #45, by WitnesstoitAllRun: Memories

1st September 2012:
Oh my god, Sarah. This -- how could you stop there!??!! Oh my lord. wow. This is going to be a terribly short review, I'm afraid b/c my to-do-list is about eighty miles long, but I couldn't help from popping in here to read this update. It was so touching to see Colin's inner thoughts after seeing Fred's in the last chapter. How cruel of you to make them the last two contenders... the youngest of JKR's casulties from the battle of hogwarts. And you cruel cruel author... forcing them back into the the very battle that killed them originally. You slay me. I don't know if I can handle reading the next chapter. You can just lie to me and tell me that they both live. It's okay.

Annnd the winner gets to see what would have happened had they lived?!!? did I read that right?? that's almost as bad as having died not knowing... being dead and knowing what could have been.

Ah. these races are shadey and I don't trust them one bit and I'm on tenters and hooks to see what happens and I love colin and I love Fred and ermehgerd. too many feelz.

also just as an aside, I really love this passage and I can't even describe all the feels I felt when I read it: "And Fred… Remus knew Fred. He knew and loved his whole family. He’d had Fred as a student, as well – and the young man was so bright, so vibrant that for the world to lose him would surely make the sun burn just a bit dimmer. Fred changed each and every life he touched, leaving smiles and laughter in his wake everywhere he went. He had no idea how precious his existence was, how his energy and brilliance made those surrounding him shine, as well. A walking light."

love this story and can't wait to see what is going to happen. I certainly hope you have a trick or two up your sleeve so my heart doesn't explode when colin or fred is snuffed out.

Author's Response: HELLO MEL, SEVERAL MONTHS LATER ~

I know I must be cruel because I never even considered two other people going head to head in the final round. My mind sought out two of the youngest characters, both lovable for different reasons, and I never went back on that. It could never have been someone obviously bad versus someone obviously good. If I didn't tear my readership and have them second-guess who they wanted to win, then I wasn't doing it right. In retrospect, it's amazing to believe that no one guessed this pairing from the get-go. I had you all thinking it would be Tonks and Lily. :3

The races are totes shady. Someone needs to haul Cliodna over to the Grotta or something, srsly.

Trick or two up my sleeve? You know me too well. :3

♥ I LOVE YOU MELISSA.


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Review #46, by WitnesstoitAllRun: Blue and Bronze

26th August 2012:
Oh my goodness, Sarah. I really think you've outdone yourself with this chapter. I don't know why, but this was one of my favorites to date... it was so moving to see the glimpses of each of these one time duel contestants; the feeling of their humanity was so, so tangible that I nearly drowned in feels reading this. I think my favorite thing about this story is how normal the afterlife is, while being sort of fanciful. Like, people don't waft around angsting over being dead... there's a distinct vitality in the village. People live very much as they did in life, and that to me is what sets this story apart from all other stories that are out there about the afterlife. And, even though there is this strong vital pulse running beneath the culture and demographic of the village of the dead, there is an ever present glass wall that separates the residents from live-life that they smack into ocassionally, or rather the reader smacks into it and suddenly remembers that all of these characters are actually dead and not alive and will never grow old or fat; never explore the world.

^This is what I took away from this chapter as a whole. It was so incredibly lovely. As always, I adored your Tonks/Remus. They are just so natural -- none of the pretense and angsty nonsense that I often find when reading about them. I adore their little family with Pepper (and love that he's an extinct breed!! very clever). The way tonks knew that remus would be down the stairs shortly, not being able to sleep alone; the way he was a little gruff before his morning tea. Gah. They, in my opinion, represent the ever present life that exists in the village of the dead. The fact that life goes on and is good.

And then in contrast, we read about Crabbe and Cedric, and while they're handled very differently here, I feel that they both represent that glass wall I mentioned, as reminders that they are all truly dead and not alive. It was glorious to see a bit of humanity in Crabbe... the fact that he was crying and just wanted to go home... was such a lovely redemption for his character. It was a bold statement that even though he's not really a 'good' person, he's still a person with ripe humanity running through his veins. And then there's Cedric. Omg. I am so, so feely after that scene. I love how determined he is to live his life and stay busy and do the things he didn't get to do... what a plucky little puff. But seeing him in this quiet moment, pondering over lost oppurtunities and love and what not was so poignant. One of these days I swear I'm going to write a Cho/cedric story. I really feel like they are such an interesting pair that often gets a bad wrap or over looked in canon b/c of cedric's death and cho's greiving process. gah. anyway, I digress. I just, everything about that scene was gorgeous. I especially loved the bit about Cedric telling stories that had been passed down the diggory line b/c he would never continue that line and be able to pass the stories down. I just, Cedric would have been a great dad and yet again your story has managed to make me passionately made at Voldemort for destroying so many lives. I almost thought for a minute that you were going to have Cho die and turn up there and was like... canon-cobb-squint... but then when Cedric's parents came walking down the street it was so sad/poignant and I just want to know what happened. There is something inherently sad that their son is the one welcoming them into the afterlife, but beautiful at the same time since they can all be together at last.

And as I'm running out of characters, I want to quickly say that I enjoyed the Rowena (love that she's ever intrigued by fixer-upper men... what a fixing fairy she fancies herself to be) and Severus got to chat. It was a lovely indicator of the progress that he is making after his conversation with Lily and James several chapters ago. I am so happy for him; he has finally turned down the road of redemption and is (I think) letting go of the very heavy chip he's been carrying around on his shoulder.

Sarah. this story is amaz-sauce. I just, I cannot even do it justice and hope you know how talented you are and how much I admire your abilities as a writer and how much I value your friendship. As always, this chapter was fabulo-moose and I can't wait until the next one.

lots and lots and lots of loveee,
Mel

Author's Response: MEL, NGL I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THIS. ♥ ♥ ♥ I'm probably going to go on many tangents now because that's all I know how to do.

I love what you said about people not wafting around angsting over being dead. That, I think, would get so repetitive, and who really wants to live like that? They're all existing in various stages of adjustment. Some of them, like Vesper Lovegood, have accepted it completely. Some of them, like Salazar, are such a fixture in the village that it's like they've always been there. The newer you are, the more messed up you're likely to be, but if you value your sanity then you're going to shape up and move on as quickly as you can bear.

Tonks and Remus here served to portray normalcy in a world where everyone is dead, and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you picked up on that, that you appreciated it and knew what I was going for. There is so much emotional turmoil going on just a few streets away, with various other residents, but in the Lupin house, for now, there is peace. They knew each other so well, are so used to each other, that peace comes naturally to them just by being together, and from that peace comes strength. There is a good chance I am making no sense.

Having Cho die, omg. That would be so cruel of me. And since I don't go into detail about Cedric's parents, you're free to imagine what happened to them. Isn't it annoying when I leave things open to interpretation? CHALK IT UP TO LAZINESS~

Rowena the fixing fairy, lololol forever, picturing her with wings now, buzzing over people's heads.

Mel, you are amazing. Every time I read the end of this review (as of course I've reread it multiple times) I just melt into a puddle of feels. ♥ I'm so lucky to be able to call you my friend.


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Review #47, by WitnesstoitAllBreak Out: V.

18th August 2012:
Okayyy, Rachel. Let's be honest... you are certifiably brilliant. This chapter was everything I could have hoped for it to be -- loose ends that hadn't yet been mentioned got their spotlight: Ron's feelings about Harry, Ginny's feelings about Harry, some tangible planning, the fallout of it all. You did all these things so, so well. I found myself wanting to just pluck Ron up and out of the story and tell him that it will be okay, only I can't because I don't know that it will... and that is one of the amazing things about this story. You literally have the free reign to do anything with it that you want. It's not like reading some post-hogwarts where even if things look unlikely, you know that draco ends up with astoria... or that Percy names his daughter Molly... or you get much drift. The field is wide open and you can literally take any twist or turn that you want to.

I think you handled Ron's grief brilliantly. Ginny's, too. I found their conversation to be very touching... the entire time I was reading it I was sort of comparing it to a scene in WAT several chapters ago when Ginny and George discuss Fred's death. Ginny is such an elusive character to me, but I think you did an admirable job with her here. I was a bit sad that she seemed to forget that Ron loved (platonically, of course) harry just as much as she did.

Ah! Malfoy!!! I totally am on Ron's side on this all, though I know logically that he is an important tool to possess right now. He's just so slimey and untrustworthy. I hope he comes into his own and proves himself and doesn't actually betray the order. :(

This is such a brilliant story! I'll anxiously be awaiting chapter 6. Give me a shove when it's posted, k?

LOVE youuu.

Author's Response: MELLL. Firstly, I could only get on Skype for a brief period yesterday, and it didn't intersect your Skype time, and I am sad. We'll have to coordinate a better meet-up in the very near future!

I think one of the most nerve-wracking things about this whole story is tying up all the loose ends that need to be done, because there are SO MANY -- so hearing you say that is really, really encouraging. ♥ I have a sort of perpetual ache in my heart when writing this story, just because I feel like I'm inflicting damage on my good friends (characters can be friends!), but this story's fun to write at the same time. INNER TURMOIL ~ That's one of the best parts, though, the free rein -- I really do love how lenient I can be with certain things. My canon-wired brain doesn't, but it's a good flexibility exercise. :3

Ginny is, as you probably know, definitely not one of my favorite characters, but I really didn't mind writing her here. I think I like her better when Harry's not around, because I REALLY don't think she's the right person for Harry. Here, it's different in a good way. I'm glad you thought the grief bit was handled well; that's something I'm writing kind of blindly, and any encouragement at all is so welcomed. :) Also, Malfoy is wayyy more fun to write than I expected. I like making him a bit of a snot! He really isn't written like that a lot in fic. Annoying.

Bawww, you are just the best. ♥ Thank you so much for reviewing this chapter for me!! And for everything you do, really, because you're fabulous. :) Chapter 6 will be up in roughly a week or so, and I most definitely will give you a nudge!!


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Review #48, by WitnesstoitAllRun: Impending

18th August 2012:
OMG.SARAH.THIS.MY.HEART.OMG.

I really intended on waiting until I got a few things accomplished before I logged on to read this, but then I clicked on it, and saw Fred and George in the first two sentences, and couldn't look back. I, omg. all the feels I am feeling, I swear that there's not room for them in my chest.

You did such a brilliant job of delineating Fred's character here, he is everything I imagined him to be and so, so much more and he's such a /good/ person. Rooting for colin. While it would be sad for colin's life to end, I can't root against fred, especially with how selfless he is going into this. gah. what a gem. No wonder Hollis loved him. ( :P )

I thought your explaination of why Fred didn't miss George was the most gorgeous thing ever. It made such perfect sense that I can't believe I hadn't seen it like that all along, if that makes any sense. gahhh. I still maintain that Fred's death was so cruel on JKR's part, but if he hadn't died, he couldn't have been such an integral part of this stor, and because of that, I think I'm okay with it all.

You're so talented, I'm green with envy. This is one of my favorite stories of all time. I can't wait to see what happens next.

wub
Mel

Author's Response: YO, MEL! ♥ Your opening line reminds me of when your space bar got stuck, by the way. XD

Squee forever that you liked Fred and George's little talk! You are the ultimate authority on George, so I'm quite pleased you liked his cameo here (albeit a dream cameo). Baww Fred. :( AND HOLLIS. ♥ My heart. If only Hollis knew what Fred was up to these days.

Fred's feelings about George is something I've been unconsciously using as my headcanon throughout this story, but never really stopped to illustrate to the readers. So when I got reviews wanting to know why Fred was indifferent about it, I figured it was time for me to stop being so vague and give Fred his little internal monologue. And I totally, totally agree that JKR is still not off the hook for killing him, but I don't think I would love him half as much if he hadn't died tragically. Without it, he wouldn't be in this story, and I wouldn't have written Frollis, and I doubt you would have written With All Things. ~rolls around in feels~

ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE STORIES OF ALL TIME, MEL, GAH, STOP IT. ♥ You are the best. ♥



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Review #49, by WitnesstoitAllRun: Twisted Towers

9th August 2012:
ERMEHGERD, SOROH.

This was such a brilliant chapter. It was so creative, and I know I rave about your imagination all the time, but this chapter really takes the cake, or the cheese or whatever it is that was taken. Everything about the funhouse was magical -- and the description, it was like candy for the eyes. The bit about the Little Dipper pouring night over the building, omg. I think I read that four or five times before I was able to move forward. it was just so gorgeous. Also, the molten gold coming out of the candelabra, gorgeous. I could go on, but I'd end up requoting the entire thing.

I couldn't help but wondering the entire time I was reading this whose memory it was -- perhaps the little boy with the purple balloon? or the small girl with the asphodel on her hat brim? gah. I want to know, b/c I want to know the people who went there for fun, b/c it sounds terrifying. lol. I'm such a baby with scary things and fun houses are defo scary.

AHH. I cannot believe how attached I am to all these characters (oky, that's a lie, b/c I can easily believe it). Watching them, I had goosebumps and adrenaline and was like GO GO GO but at the same time was like NO NO NOOO. b/c if they lost in this round, they'd live and not face being snuffed out.

FRED AND THE MIRRORS OF HIS FAMILY'S DEATHS. OMG. CREY. Seeing possible ends to them all was so moving, and it made me wonder what sort of trouble was about in their futur that so many awful things happened, a trio breaking into Percy and Audry's place with little Molly. Victoire, Dom, and Louis being tortured, Ginny and the Dementor. And then Arthur and his car... George and his experiments. Ahhh. I found it particularly moving that Fred had no idea who Audrey was or why Angelina made it into one of the mirrors. :( Also, major hugs for you for including angelina (H).

And the end. I love how much you've utilized Tonks' abilitities to change her identity in this story... it really made it seem like an asset rather than just an accessory. And I'm so, so happy she stole Crabbe's wand to help out colin. EXCEPT NOW IT'S FRED AND COLIN AND OMG. IF YOU DON'T FIND A WAY TO OUT SMART CLIODNA AND LET THEM BOTH WIN I WILL DIE. DED.

I told you I'd try to leave a review without saying ded, but clearly I failed. lol. this story is so rivoting and I'm so involved in it... it's more like i'm in the scenes witnessing them as the happen than sitting in my room reading them, and that is a real gift, sarah. Thank you for sharing.

Oh, one last thing... COLIN HAD NEVER APPARATED BEFORE. He's so young, jkr, why. he's a baby.

-fin-

Author's Response: MEL. ♥

The cake or the cheese or whatever it was that was taken - that makes me laugh every time I read it. XD It is so, so gratifying to have an author whose own writing I admire so much squee about my stuff. One of my favorite things about writing is imagery, which was one of the reasons why I decided on a fun-house setting. There was so much I could shove in there that didn't necessarily have to make sense, and I could have ample opportunity to write about shiny things. XD

Yarr, Cassandra Vablatsky donated the memory. Just chillin' on her pouf, doing some palmistry like a champ. P.S. I'm pretty sure this fun-house would terrify me. The only thing I might like is the levitating room because it would be fun to just float around, but like, everything else would give me nightmares.

I honestly have no idea where I was going with the dark futures for Fred's relatives. If the fun-house was somehow accurate and not just messing with his head, then that probably means bad things ahead. The fact that we know Audrey and Angelina are Weasleys in the future, and Fred does not, is somewhat telling. But then again, with the book in the depot listing everyone who is yet to come to Cliodna's Clock, then perhaps Cliodna had something to do with it...

*mysterious voodoo fingers*

Have you ever seen X-Men? Because I've always likened Tonks to Mystique, and while Mystique made the most of her unusual talents, Tonks mostly just used hers to have pink hair. -__- So I love being able to actually have her use those talents here.

Telling me that you feel like you're in the story rather than just reading it is the most wonderful thing in the world to hear. I have no idea where I would be without your amazing support. ♥ I am now consumed with feels.

D: Colin is so wee.

THANK YOU FOR BEING SO SPLENDID. Someday when we're all famous, we can race each other in our flying cars and then buy some shoes and bake cupcakes and the Spice Girls will sing the background track to the documentary made about us and our fabulousness.





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Review #50, by WitnesstoitAllPortraits of Courage: Lily Evans

7th August 2012:
Hey hey!! Happy Birthday to youuu!

I loved this chapter (I know I say this about all of them, but it's truee!) As I said in the James-chapter, I adore your characterization to Minerva to pieces. I cannot imagine being in that role. Of course she's a disciplinarian and an educator, but at her heart, she's a mother. these children are the ones she never had, and to have to recruit them, endanger their lives ughh. That's so moving and I think you do a brilliant job of capturing that emotion.

I also really enjoyed your characterization of lily in this chapter... she's very eager to please and proper and humble and demure -- it is such a treat to see that after all the rage!fiery!sassy!ginger-lily characterizations that are out there. I think people tend to forget that she's HARRY POTTER'S MOTHER. She gave up her youth for a idealistic cause, she gave up her life for her son... I have a very hard time connecting these canon facts to the common characterization of her. Your lily, though... omg. she /is/ that canon lily.

All in all, this was a brilliant chapter! I hope you have a good birthday!

Author's Response: Hey, hey, thank you. :)

Haha, you can totally love all of them, that is okay. I'm glad you love Minerva. It was definitely not my intention to write all of the Marauders from her POV but it worked in my favor to really push across that feeling that she's sort of sending them off to their deaths, you know? Like they are her responsibility and yes, she's giving them the opportunity to say no, but deep down, she knows that they won't.

I definitely feel that Minerva is motherly, despite being an educator. It makes me sad.

Ah, I love Lily. I don't think she's a hot-head like some people believe. Maybe a little bit, but I definitely think she's humble. I love that you remember that she gave up her youth for that and you're feeling a connection with her character and canon Lily. I love youu. :)

Thank you so much. You're awesome.


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