This is a very intriguing story! It's been awhile since I've read some fanfics, and I decided to look at the recently updated ones and saw yours! I'm truly mesmerized by your story! It's beautifully written and well-developed. I'm anxious to see what happens in the end!! Hope you update soon. :) Report Review
Susan, this is brilliant writing on your part. I rather like your one-shots as you take even the smallest amount of words and turn them into something quite beautiful.
Your descriptions of a blazing sun and the scenery are just captivating and Minerva's emotions feel so real. It amazes me how just one small sentence or phrase from DH can inspire such a truly remarkable one-shot. You portray Tom/Voldemort in a very interesting light and I like how you describe how he's turned from a golden schoolboy to someone with a corrupt, somehow twisted mind.
I have noticed you frequently use Minerva in your writing. Is she a favorite character of yours? :)
Good writing. You always find some way to surprise me with every new one-shot or fic. It's always something different, something with a new twist or your own original take. I love it and hope to see more!Author's Response: Thank you very much, Sarah! It's always a pleasure to hear from you. ^_^ It means a lot that you enjoyed this story. One-shots do give me a lot more wiggle room to try out new things to see what will happen, and also to look at smaller things, narrowing down the overall focus of a story into a couple thousand words. It is a short one-shot for me (keep trying to fix that issue of wordiness :P), but to hear that the result was beautiful!? *blushes* It's a lovely compliment!
And Minerva definitely is a favourite character of mine - I simply can't imagine how you got that idea, though! :P Originally, Hermione was the female character I felt a connection with, but as time passed, McGonagall took over that position, especially once I started exploring her past (the first one was a collab piece from like 2005 or 6, so it's been a while). She's smart, strong, and pretty amazing in general. ;)
What's interesting about that sentence was that I didn't come across it until having written most of this story. It's a very weird thing. I'd gone back to re-read DH to make sure that I wasn't breaking with canon, and then I came across that line and was like "eureka! it fits!" And I wanted to include it because it ended up solidifying this story - giving it that ending and an introduction, tying the whole thing together in that ideal way. :D It was a wonderful coincidence!
Thank you again for the review! ^_^ Report Review
ok I'm totally hooked on this fic now! I was just surfing through some Dramione fics and stumbled across yours and the story summary looked rather interested so I figured I'd give it a shot and I'm glad I did! :)
I absolutely love this fic and you portray Draco very nicely and I really like how you show flashbacks of different stages of his life with Hermione. It's a very unique but good way to write. ;)
I also adore Cadence. She's so cute! :)
And I was thrilled when Harry finally beat up Ron. Ron was a jerk and he still is. I wonder if Ron will find out that Hermione is married to Draco and how that will go...
The miscarriage thing is a very touching, emotional subject and I know I can relate a bit. My mother had four or five miscarriages before getting pregnant with my siblings and then she had another before having me. She never likes to talk about it much but I know it hurts her even today as she always wanted lots of kids but could never have them. You write those scenes well and it really tugs at the heartstrings.
I probably read too fast, but I was curious, what are the ages of Scarlett and Cadence?
great chapter, great story. Your writing is very good. I look forward to more. ;)
Sarah Report Review
Susan, I've been reading this fic ever since you first posted it! However, my reviews on it have been lacking and for that, I am sorry. Plus, you took time to review my fic (which I thank you for that again. You have no idea how much I value your opinion). And this fic about Lily is such a wonderful, heart-wrenching fic and I've about cried in reading this chapter!
I never really considered Alastor Moody to have such a emotional side or to be anything other than what I've read in the Harry Potter Books. Your portrayal of him is most delightful and I really love how he is when he's with Lily in this chapter. You really have made me feel for him and for Lily as well.
Your descriptions simply flow off the page! I continue to be in awe at your ability to write such beautiful words! And that kiss, wow. What a kiss it was indeed! :) It was beautifully written! And I love the last lines of the tree being burnt and "smouldering under the onslaught of rain", simply breathtaking! And I envy your lovely chapter images!
And before I've written a novel-length review, I'll stop myself from rambling. lol. I hope you are doing well and not stressing too much over TDA obligations and life in general! ^_^Author's Response: Don't be sorry, Sarah! Being behind on reviewing others' stories myself, I can understand that there isn't always time to get out a review, especially in detail, you know? It's enough to know that you're enjoying it, though it is lovely to hear from you. ^_^ Thank you very much for taking the time to both read and review this story!
To be honest, I find my own portrayal of Moody here terrifying. He's becoming a romantic hero! It seems so wrong, somehow, yet when I do read over his scenes in the books, there is room for it. After all, Dumbledore was quite a rebel in his younger days, so why can't Mad-Eye be a Rochester/Heathcliff sort of fellow? :P That's how I excuse it to myself, at least. I'm glad that you like how he's turning out here - it's interesting to write him and Lily's reactions toward him. I don't exactly know why it's interesting, but it's like an experiment in random parings that's working all too well. XD
Thank you. *blushes* The romance of this story is powerful to write - it helps that I've been reading all these Victorian romances like "Jane Eyre" and "North and South" - they provide a lot of inspiration, especially for the creation of strong emotional tension. But I wanted to change that scene in "Jane Eyre" with the chestnut tree to make more explicit what the tree symbolizes, or will later symbolize - how the two lovers will be divided and how the older Moody will become like that hunk of burning tree trunk, broken and lifeless. Maybe it'll make more sense once the story's finished - everything about this story is so complex in timelines and how everything fits together that I have trouble thinking about it except as a whole work, not chapter-by-chapter.
Now who's rambling? >< Thank you again for your lovely reviews, Sarah, and I hope that you continue to enjoy this story! :D Report Review
AH SUSAN! I'm soo glad you're writing a new fic! I've been eagerly waiting this ever since I saw your author's page with you saying you were working on a new scorpius/rose fic! this is so much darker and more intense than some of your other works but I love it. You have such an amazing style and I envy your talent.
Anyways, great fic, full of suspense and mystery and gorgeous descriptions that flow from the page (or computer screen in this instance) lol.
"That was when the scorpion’s tail took aim, piercing her to the heart, its poison taking root in the deepest, darkest corner of her being. He hardly knew himself that he possessed such a power, that he was more dangerous than her, that he could permanently, mortally wound even the strongest of spirits, even the most hidden of hearts."
those lines sent shivers down my spine. I love it. I had to read Romeo/Juliet for freshmen english when I was in high school. I loved it and I ended up re-reading it last summer for an advanced english class. I cannot wait to see what is in this story! you're a brilliant writer and you should never stop!
I hope you're well. I miss tda but it was a good although bittersweet choice in departing. Keep writing! I'll be anxiously awaiting another chapter from a great writer. :)
SarahAuthor's Response: It's definitely darker than my more recent stories, but it does hearken back to what I wrote a few years ago - I've missed writing darker stories, and after reading some recent horror fanfics here, I wanted to write another myself. ;) It's certainly different from WTA, but I'm very glad that you enjoyed it and that the suspense and descriptions turned out well. Guess I'm not too out of practice with the style. ^_^
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! It means a lot to hear from you, and I miss seeing you around at TDA, but I know that you've got a lot on your plate. It's wonderful that you're able to stick around HPFF. :D Report Review
*tears up* IT'S OVER! *grabs tissues* this is by far, one of my favorite fics I've read that's Next Generation. Susan, you had me hanging off the edge of my bed as I was reading this. I was practically read to scream at Teddy in the beginning after she got the letter to bloody kiss her or something or tell her to stay! And then I'm like, "Rose! You can't go back to China! Running away doesn't get you anywhere!"
and these lines:
“You’ve always made your own way, Rose. Don’t allow anything to hinder you.” He spoke the words with great care, taking the time to decide on just the right word before pronouncing it in full, clipped syllables, his eyes searching her face."
were amazing and I was bitting my lip in aggravation because neither of them were doing anything!
And then she was at the airport and ready to go and teddy came! I was jumping for joy, "Finally!"
and then i became a gushy, romantic mess at how she told him she'd like him to kiss her goodbye. I'm such a sucker for romance. lol.
And then her family's talking about her and Teddy and how "“Rose must not suspect that we arranged all of this for her.”"
lol. That made me die of laughter.
But all that said, Susan, I loved it. Every jaw dropping moment, unexpected choices and suspense. You write so flawlessly. It's incredible. The moment you decide to publish a book, I want a signed copy. This was amazing and a truly delightful read. I'm going to miss being so excited by your updates! I'll have to read more of your work then. :)Author's Response: It's so sad to be finished with this story, I know, but I'm just happy to be finished any story for once. XD I originally meant this one to be longer, developing Rose and Teddy's relationship more and including additional drama related to that, but I realized that I didn't want to drag it out - the plot surrounded Rose and Scorpius, not Rose and Teddy, he was just a bonus prize for her at the end. :P
Haha, that scene at the beginning got just the right response from you. Teddy does have his weakness, and the inability to act at the right moment is the main one - he isn't the type to throw himself into something if he hasn't thought it through all the way, and of course, as we learn later in the chapter, Victoire's request to meet with him certainly didn't help. He had to undergo the same development as Rose: walking away from the old love into the arms of the new one. Thank goodness that he did, in the end! I think it would have driven everyone mad if he hadn't shown up at the airport!
I'm also really glad that the ending was romantic. I wasn't sure how to do the ending at all, but I thought that this ending both gives Rose her independence and puts a romantic spin on things, allowing for that squishy, happy feeling. ^_^
Thank you so much for all your support throughout the writing of this story, Sarah. It means a lot to have read through your reviews and gauge your reactions, and even more so to have the motivation to continue writing. *glomps* Report Review
AH SUSAN!!! *glomps* you have no idea how excited I was to read this chapter! :)
It was stunning. So stunning, that I nearly fell off my chair. This has been the best fic I've ever read with Scorp and Rose and Teddy and Lily! It's like a love triangle/square if that's possible. lol.
I am really quite taken to the idea of Teddy and Rose being together, actually. Scorpius and Lily can have each other and mess up their own little bubble like lives. Long live Teddy/Rose! lol.
My favorite lines:
“Why Malfoy? Of all the young men around, why him? Surely there’s someone more worthwhile fighting over...”
A movement in the corridor caught Rose’s eye, someone listening in, someone tallish and thin, crowned with blue-black hair, as far from Scorpius’s bleached blond locks as one could get. He was gone in an instant, slipping back into the kitchen, from where the clanging of cutlery soon sounded forth."
that is so beautiful, susan! I was in awe at that moment in the chapter. I also am ready to start screaming at Rose, "Go after Teddy! Kiss him or something already! Profess your undying love for the man!"
but of course, once again, it's your story, not mine... :)
and of course, the unbelievable happens...scorpius HAS to walk in at the end *grumbles on how he's a jerk* but over all, great chapter Susan! I loved every piece and every word! you are amazing, as always! I am excited to read more! :)Author's Response: lol, I think of it as a "love quadrangle". :P If you throw in Victoire, then it's a pentangle, I guess. It's very much like a soap opera with all these tangled relationships, but it's definitely fun to write them in this way. Good to hear that you like the Teddy/Rose in this story - they make a nice alternative to Scorpius/Lily, even though there are many similarities between the two couples, one can see where genuine affection makes the biggest difference. ;)
lol, I enjoy torturing characters, didn't you know? :P I wanted to draw things out between them because there are still a few things that need to be resolved before they can look toward a happy ending. His hesitation reveals an interesting side to his character that I wanted to develop a little further first.
Scorpius didn't walk in, haha! That was an evil trick of mine, making everyone thing that he was, in reality, there, but it was all in the characters' heads, and now it's in the poor readers' heads too. XD
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Sarah! I really appreciate hearing from you! ^_^ Report Review
OMG! Susan this chapter was amazing! I'm not rather fond of Scorpius anymore. He's nothing but a coward now. lol. Lily can have him. Rose is too good for him. lol. I rather like the Rose/Teddy pairing that is starting to evolve. At first, I've always been skeptical of having Rose be with Teddy but you're changing my mind. I think that pairing is starting to grow on me. :)
And the ending of this chapter made me laugh! His grandmother is home and there's Rose sitting in a dressing gown with Teddy. I cannot wait to see what happens next! You're a terrific writer Susan!Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much, Sarah! It's wonderful to hear that you've enjoyed this chapter, as it entirely throws off the Scorose ship, moreso than any of the previous chapters, and I wasn't sure whether anyone would like it at all. *hides* As for Teddy/Rose, I've been trying to smoothly and carefully introduce it into this story, though I've been rather eager to throw it in and run. :P I'm glad that it's growing on you, as that's just what I've been hoping for. ^_^
The last few chapters will include more humour, especially to make up for the drama of earlier, but they'll also wrap things up as well as I can manage. :P It's always hard to end a story, but I'll hopefully get this one right. ;)
Thank you again for your lovely compliments! You've been a great support while I was writing this story. ^_^ Report Review
Sofia!! I am so glad you wrote this! I love that song!
Some great lines I liked, that really fit the characters, "Honestly, I'm sick of this... I don't want to be the famous Harry Potter. I just want people to see me as just me, just Harry... "
I'll be honest, the Ron/Hermione bit seemed a bit out of character but it made me smile nonetheless. :)
"she might be there," Luna said, slightly coldly."
that seems a tad out of character for Luna as she's normally this bright, happy, playful character.so it feels weird to see her talking coldly.
i think i liked Ginny's POV better than Harry's... i feel like Ginny seemed really on spot and i loved it.
One thing I commend you for is writing in 3 points of view. I wouldn't do it again however. It's quite tricky to pull off and you do manage it well but i think it's easier for readers to follow with one point of view and not having to switch all the time...
"All he needed was her eyes saying ‘I love you’ to run towards her and crash his lips into her warm, waiting ones. And that one kiss laminated forever."
best lines ever written in this! I loved it! You're on your way to becoming a great writer sis!
I would have been curious to see this in the narrator 'third pov' for its entirety. I think you do quite well in third person. you have lovely descriptions and i love the dialogue!
Keep writing more okay? :) Report Review
susan. omg. this. was. amazing.
my jaw is dropped ten miles onto the floor. i can't find the words to describe how much of a surprise this chapter was. I thought I knew where the story was heading but clearly I don't. I did not expect that kiss. holy cow that kiss! best part of the chapter. :P
i was hanging onto every word. i am not a huge fan of teddy/rose but that is a nice little break from other popular pairings...even if you did only suggest it a tiny bit in this chapter. i liked how you kept me hanging onto the story.
the whole fiasco with Draco and Hermione, confuses me a bit.and maybe i need to re-read the chapter to better understand it. did they have a little relationship at some point or something? well, i must say, that surprised me too.
you are a fantastic writer. If you ever write a book, i want a signed copy. lol
i cannot wait for another chapter! How much more do you think there is to go? i honestly don't care how long it is. you could write another twenty chapters and i'll still be in love with this fic of yours! I cannot wait for a Lily/Rose confrontation (if there will be one!)
Great job! :)Author's Response: Wow, thank you, Sarah! Haha, the end of this chapter is a bit of a shocker, isn't it? I'd been planning it for a long time because it seemed like a perfect plot twist, and certainly perfect point for the story's climax. I'm very glad to have surprised you! :D
I'm sorry that the Dramione part is slightly confusing - it's meant to be from Rose's perspective, as she, like the readers, only knows bits and pieces, and very few at that. What I wanted to do, though, was show the repetition of mother and daughter, father and son. Draco made the same mistake as Scorpius in letting Hermione go, but she, like Rose, rejects his renewed advances - she, like Rose, has found something else, perhaps something better, more suited for her. So that's what I was trying to do.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter! It means a lot to hear from you, and I'm very glad that you've been enjoying the story. ^_^ Report Review
Susan, once again, I am in awe of your work. This is probably the best, most dramatic Victoire/Teddy one shot I've ever read. I often have grown sick of this pairing, as they are terribly over used with the same plot (kind of like Scorose with Romeo/juliet plot) and your fic, I found really refreshing. It gave a whole new spin on this pairing. I loved it.
I love Beauty/Beast, it's probably one of my favorite fairytales, next to Cinderella. Anyhoo, I loved your imagery and your metaphors etc. You have such amazing writing techniques. I'm uber jealous of your skills not only here, but at TDA as well (again, sorry for leaving TDA. I feel bad but I needed to do it for the sake of my personal life).
I love how you begin with Victoire then sort of branch to Teddy. I love seeing through both characters and love how I know something that the other character doesn't know.
You have such a wonderful way with words like here:
'he saw himself, the greying hair standing on end, unshaven jaw spotted with black, his eyes empty' those lines just send shivers down my spine.
I loved it, I really did. You're awesome (I know, I've told you that a hundred times and you are probably sick of it but it's true, you are inspiring and I really am looking forward to more from you. You manage to take an overly used pairing and give them a fresh, original look.).
Great work! :)
I'm doing rather well lately since my leave from TDA. i think the break from TDA is really making me less stressed (no deadlines for requests i have to worry about, challenges etc)... not sure how to explain it. lol.
I hope you write more. I am addicted to your work! and I apologize for the lengthy, novel type review! haha. sorry... i ramble on sometimes. XDAuthor's Response: Hello, Sarah! Thanks so much for this fantastic review! If only the story was worthy of all this praise, but I really appreciate every drop of it - it means a lot to hear all these compliments from you. *huggles*
I'm with you that Teddoire has become overused and overrated - it's so gooey and happy in all those stories and I just couldn't take it anymore. I can't say that this option is much more realistic, but the realist in me appreciates the thought that fairy tale loves often don't end up with happily ever after. I hate the thought of fandom throwing characters together from a single clue - in this case, the epilogue - so this is my revenge, just like "Winner Takes All" is my revenge against Scorose. ;) Terrible, but true.
I'm really glad that you liked the descriptions - I have to admit that they're my favourite part of this story. It was great to really get into the moodiness of Teddy's character - I wanted him to be a lot like Remus, rather than Tonks, so he is, here, a pessimist, down on life because it's been down on him. Things probably aren't as bad as he sees them to be, which is the interesting irony of this story.
Anyway, before I ramble on into eternity, I'll say thank you again! I miss seeing you around TDA and hope that you're doing better. ^_^ Report Review
Susan! I loved this! It's so different from what you normally write. I know you aren't much of a fluff writer but I still think you did it quite well!
I loved these lines. '“Would you like to come back to my flat afterward? Or would yours be better?”
Oh Merlin. He didn’t just ask that.'
I loved every moment! It's so different to see Molly as a main character. I love minor characters mainly because you can take them and make them whatever portrayal you have in mind. I haven't ever read Molly/Teddy, though I'm not sure I've even seen any around here so it was interesting to see another pairing. I really felt connected to Molly in this. Her character is so real. I can feel her nerves (I would be the same way) and I liked the end. I almost thought they'd said goodbye and that would be that. I loved how she turned around and went back to him! I'm like YES! I loved that.
You are a fabulous writer Susan. Your style is so unique and you have the ability to do angst, fluff and romance etc. You are quite versatile and I like that!
I'm glad you like the banner! I loved making it! :)
Keep writing more wonderful fics!Author's Response: Thanks so much, Sarah! Both for the lovely banner and for coming to read and review this - I really appreciate both. :D
What's hilarious about that line is that Molly could have interpreted it all wrong, too. XD The implications of that line could still be innocent - the joke is that Molly's mind is more in the gutter than she'd ever admit. Either way, I still love writing such narration - it's too much fun. That line still makes me giggle too. :P
I was originally going to use Rose, then I decided that it didn't suit the vision I have of Rose. It's not the same of Molly from WTA, but it was really nice to be able to write a different character and try something new. :) I'm glad that you liked the choice of Molly, and even moreso that you felt a connection to her.
*huggles* Thanks for all of your support, Sarah. Report Review
Susan! This chapter was great! I absolutely loved it!
These lines made me laugh, I adored that scene. "
Yes, definitely time to go, Rose.
Never had she thought that they... Merlin, that her friends would. She turned to look at the bed. That they would. here. Ugh. "
towards the end, I was like, "yay they're actually in the same room together! (scorp and Rose)"
this just sent chills down my spine. "Their faces were too close, closer than either had expected. Rose still felt dazed, her head spinning more as her breath quickened, her heart beating too quickly, faster than she could remember it ever going before. "
you write so beautifully Susan. I am on the edge of my seat awaiting another chapter. The end of this one left me breathless.
I wonder if she'll go to the wedding? Or if Lily will call it off? or if the wedding will go on as planned and Scorpius will regret it later?
I keep thinking back to that one shot with Lily/Scorpius... it gives me a whole new perspective on this story.. Great job Susan! I'm excited for another chapter!Author's Response: Hey Sarah! Thanks for reading and reviewing this story again! It's fantastic to hear your opinions on what's going on in the story. :D
I thought it would be funny for the reader and incredibly frustrating to Rose that her two best friends have started a romantic relationship. She can't imagine either in a romantic way and, especially in her current predicament, it's an awful sight for her, seeing others being happy and in love when she's at the opposite end of things. And of course Rose has to describe the whole thing in a humourous way to distract the reader from her feelings. XD
Now for the scene at the end, you may want to imagine that it's Scorpius, but it's not. :P It's Teddy! The Scorose scene will come in the next chapter for your enjoyment. ;)
I think I can safely say yes to all three of your questions. :P It's a horrible contradiction to think that all of those things can take place, but they will because this is one kooky story, and anything could happen.
Thanks again for the review! ^_^ I'll try to get that next chapter going soon! Report Review
Susan, you are brilliant. Seriously, my jaw is on the floor in awe and i cannot stop reading for anything. i loved it, all of it. Every word just flowed off the page, every conversation, everything has left me awestruck.
A line that made me chuckle a bit:
“Thanks, Al. And you look like a Death Eater.”
i thought that was rather funny! But it got deeper as it went on and at one point, I think my heart stopped for a moment. And I think it was when he called her Rose.
And I think I'm beginning to understand Winner Takes All just a bit more now that you've put this one shot out there. I laugh at how I first wanted to smack Lily across the face in WTA because she was marrying Scorpius etc. I think I have a bit more sympathy for Lily now that I've read in her perspective. (Another thing I must commend you on is being able to write in different character views for the same storyline/theme!).
I think Lily likes the attention but she also likes to feel loved, wanted and I think she likes the idea of having something that no one else can have. She's almost a bit like Lydia in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice! (love that book by the way). I'm almost feeling like Scorpius proposed to her out of duty/responsibility seeing as Lily is pregnant (Is that right?). Him calling Lily, Rose, really hit me. He must've really loved her then..
I like how you ended this one with Lily in front of the mirror staring back at herself. Sometimes all it takes is looking back at what you are to realize what you've become. And sometimes what you've built yourself up to be, really isn't that great after all. She's built up a facade of sorts, fantasizing her life with Scorpius, beating Rose but in reality, she hasn't won because she feels horrible. She can't even call it a baby, she calls it a thing.
And the last lines were beautifully done with the referral to a rose.. i loved it! Well done Susan! You've let me awestruck once again! Thanks for sharing this!
SarahAuthor's Response: Hey Sarah! Thanks again for reviewing, and I'm very sorry for having taken so long to respond to this review. The ones for this story were ridiculously long, and I put them off as long as I could. *hides*
It's great that you liked the story so much. It was an incredibly strange and disturbing one to write - Lily is nothing at all like me, so getting into her head was a very different experience, and it was even more difficult to make her sympathetic. I'm glad that she is a little understandable to readers now because in WTA, Rose's perspective makes Lily such a hateful character. I do like being inspired by Lydia while writing her, and I remember feeling sympathy for Lydida near the end of P&P when I saw that Wickham didn't love her and never would. In one respect, they deserved each other, but in another, I can't help wanting everyone to be happy.
I wonder if, when Lily is looking into the mirror, that she sees that she is becoming Rose, that Scorpius is making her into Rose, and that's why she sees Rose in the mirror. The evil smile signifies Lily's own actions and how she knows they appear to everyone else. It's probably the first moment she's ever felt her conscience, and it's painful for her.
It's a deep story, and I look back at it and wonder where it came from. XD Thanks again, Sarah! Report Review
wow this was awesome! I loved it, I really did. I don't often find good, humorish/romance fics that take different points of view. I think you did quite well on this! It's a great cheer me up, make me laugh kind of fic. I love how you switched each guy's perspective. I thought Draco was absolutely charming and I love how Harry spilled his drink and was all nervous etc.
The end where Ginny met Draco was quite good and I love how he says "i love you' and then he instantly realizes what he's said. That made me chuckle. Anyway, great fic. You're a great writer. Keep it up! And the banner is gorgeous by the way. Antiquity is a genius. (she's actually a friend of mine over at TDA).
great job! I'll definitely have to read more of your work.Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much! I have to say this story is the most popular of mine...haha I love the banner two! It's my favorite so far. She did an amazing job. Thank you again! I loves the reviews! Report Review
i'm crying, really I am. this was so beautiful and heart wrenching. the moment Draco opened up to her and told her about his family, his parents, I started tearing up!!! This is officially, my favorite chapter yet. i love Draco's softer side. You portray him so well.
And the part where he gave her a ring was so sweet. I loved that. I melted at his simple, yet somewhat sweet proposal.
And as far as the engraving goes, does it mean "love can be unseeingly painful or remarkably beautiful."??? I love that. it's beautiful.
oh now i need the kleenex box *wipes eyes*. this is the best chapter yet.
And Rilla, as far as updating once a month, don't worry about it. I've fallen into that trap many times. it gets hard to update as life gets crazy so no worries on updating.
hmmm well great chapter. i loved every bit of it. I updated Je T'aime and i'm hoping to have my new one shot up this week so be on the lookout. :)Author's Response: *hands tissues*
Aww Hun, Please don't cry. It makes me sad :)
I'm super glad you liked this chapter, I liked it too. I'm glad they all remained in character. I try my absoloute best.
I have to admit, writing that proposel was the hardest thing, I've ever written! I had to make it short and simple, and curt, yet romantic! Plus keep Draco in check :)
And yes for the engraving, but your missing the end part 'it cannot regret'. Everyone got it so I'm guessing my french wasn't that bad.
I'll check out JeT'aime soon I promise. I'll try my best to update once a week or maybe every two days... I hope!!!
Rilla :D Report Review
okay I had to read this as the title was luring me in when i made the banner! :P
I absolutely loved it! It was awesome! I love the twins and I adore Lorcan! He's so sweet! and i love how Lysander was being all shut away from the world etc. and the ending lines made me chuckle. "I'm not giving birth to the world's next Dark Lord!" haha that was funny!
I really liked this little fic! great work! :)Author's Response: Hooray! I'm so glad that you liked it! This was one of those stories where I was like, "What did I just write??" Yikes. But the banner is absolutely lovely, as usual. Thanks for stopping by :) Report Review
Susan, I love your writing. I've probably told you this a thousand times but I really do. Your style is so unique and I love how you take popular or even minor characters and make them seem so realistic and give your own flair to them. I honestly have not read any Dumbledore/Aberforth fics so this was really interesting to read. I absolutely loved these lines, "His voice was hollow, his heart crying out for freedom as the bars of domestic prison shut before his eyes, the mark of Cain upon his skin, burning out his desire to explore, to discover, to conquer the world for himself."
it just really tears my heart open and make me want to cry along with him. I enjoyed seeing Aberforth's viewpoint as well as some of Albus' as well. It was very well written and I recall in the seventh harry potter book about Arianna and the issues with her and their mother. I remember reading that and just being totally surprised by it. Jk Rowling definitely is a genius with writing but so are you! :)
And the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle title was great! I have read some of his work and absolutely love Sherlock Holmes and those stories!!!
You're an amazing writer Susan and I think you've inspired me so much the past few months. I actually want to be an English teacher now. Anyway, great fic, great work. I can definitely tell you really like Sherlock Holmes as I've seen from this fic and your TDA work. I hope to see more writing from you in the future and I hope you are well! we miss you as an admin over at TDA!Author's Response: Wow, thanks for this review, Sarah! I could almost swear that it's longer than the story itself, but that would be an exaggeration - it's fantastic to receive a review like this! Thank you for taking the time to write it. :D
There can't be that many fics that show interaction between Albus and Aberforth - maybe because they are so estranged, no matter how close in distance they live. They're such opposites - like Percy and his siblings, for instance - that it makes them fascinating to try and write together.
It was a surprising part of DH to learn more about Dumbledore's past and the reason for all of his guilt. It made him a very complex character, almost like Snape - changing sides and changing themselves to become better people.
Haha, Sherlock Holmes was my first love. :P Sad, but true, and I still think he's one of the best characters ever created. It's great to hear that you want to teach English now! It's a fun pursuit, with a lot of creativity involved. :D Report Review
what do i think?
well first, you are going to make me cry! this chapter is for me?? seriously you are just ever too kind! *tears up* I'm feeling a lot better, thanks! :)
Alrighty onto reviewing this ever so beautifully written chapter! This was probably my favorite, and for many reasons. I love love love how you described Pansy and Blaise. I'm also glad Hermione has someone to talk to, (even if it is Pansy). Though I do think the war really changed everyone, And I believe so for the better.
Another thing I love is how you portray Draco. You portray him so differently and you capture his every feeling and emotion so well. I love him more than ever now! Seriously, you do a fantastic job with him. It's probably the best portrayal of Draco I've seen in all my years of being a member of this site. ;)
Initially, I didn't care for Dramione fics but now i'm becoming obsessed! Your story has definitely changed my mind of this pairing and I'm loving it! I love the end where Draco becomes a tad warmer towards Mione. I like how he kissed her hand and bid her goodnight. I think he's slowly warming up to her.
I am definitely looking forward to future chapters! :D
And I'm going to be updating my work as well.another chapter of Je'Taime is on the way and I'm writing a new one shot... Author's Response: *smiles and hands out tissues*
Aww please don't cry!
Glad that you're feeling better :)
This has to be the longest review I've received for chapter 7, Thanks so much!
I'm so so very very happy that you liked this chapter and that it was your favourite... Wow no one has ever favoured a 'chapter' of Mission Malfoy before- Thank You :)
I'm also super happy that you liked my descriptions of Pansy and Blaise. I have to admit they weren't that difficult to write, partly because I always though of Blaise and Pansy as misunderstood characters- like Draco.
I'm glad that Hermione had someone to talk to as well, Pansy plays a very important role in this story so it's great that she and Hermione are friends. The war has really truly changed a lot of people for the better and I have to say especially Draco.
OMG!*blushes with pride*-
"It's probably the best portrayal of Draco I've seen in all my years of being a member of this site."- Really wow, Thank so so so much!
I try my best. I'm glad you like him, I have to say that Draco is the most difficult character to write as I'm afraid I'll sound too OOC when writing him. I have to be really careful not to make him too mean or too nice!
He'll warm up to Hermione eventually as that's part of the plot but It might take awhile so I'm not really sure how long this story's going to be, but I hope that everyone will like it :)
I'm so glad that you picked my Dramione Fanfic to read. If you hadn't I would have never had such an amazing friend like you! *gasps in shock of not having you as a friend*
I'm super super happy that you like Dramione now! They really are a fantastic pair.
I loved the part where Draco kisses Hermione's hand too. I was at first going to make it a kissing scene but then decided that it would be weird considering how they've only known each other for two days. Wow two days, feels like two weeks. All the tension lol.
Chapter 8 should be up in two weeks time.
Can't wait for another wonderful chapter from Je'Taime and also can't wait to read your new One-Shot
Love you lots gal pal
wow Susan! you always manage to surprise me and make me in complete awe of your writing!
I know this technically wasn't your 'style' of writing but I did see your style come through with the humorous bits!
I absolutely love your creative use of line breaks and phrasing like here:
"Limp as a rag, man. Limp. As. A. Rag."
This fic was such a joy for me to read! It put a smile on my face, a smile that was needed badly as the past weeks with kidney stones/going in and out of hospitals/doctor offices and now having to change my diet. this was just the perfect heartlifting little fic! So thanks so much for writing this! It cheered me up! :)
I absolutely loved how you ended it with them kissing and ending up into a bit of something more! It was wonderful!
My favorite lines: "“If I thought that you looked like a fish before, now you just look like an idiot.”
Swallow. Think. Work jaw back into speaking-mode."
I haven't seen many great Albus/OC one shots that are creative/unique but yours is definitely one amazing/unique fic! I swear Susan, no one can ever write like you do. Your style is so lovely and I hope you never change it. You're amazing and such a great inspiration to me!
Great writing, as always Susan! I'm looking forward to even more of your work here and TDA! :)
SarahAuthor's Response: Hi Sarah! ^_^ It's great to hear from you again, especially on a story like this, which is very different from my usual style. But my own style still came through? That's interesting - it must have been the sarcasm. :P
I'm really glad that this story made you happier - it's always wonderful to find a pick-me-up story, and it means a lot that this one was that for you.
*huggles* Thank you for your support and kind words. ^_^ Report Review
that was such a great chapter!!! I love Adrian so much! He's adorable! I love how he wanted Mione to pick his outfit!!
And the whole etiquette thing with Pansy, Blaise will definitely be interesting. I can't imagine Pansy being all proper etc and teaching Hermione! haha. I'm looking forward to the ball.
I feel bad for Hermione though. it doesnt seem like Draco likes this whole idea of them being married anymore than she does. great chapter!:)
Oh and new chapter of JeTaime is up!!! :)Author's Response: Hey Sarah_Bee!
I'm glad you like this chapter so far!
Adrian is so adoptable! I love Pansy, Alot of fanfics portray her as a mean cow, but I think she's just misunderstood :) You'll love the ball...I hope!
I feel bad for both Hermione and Draco, but they'll warm up to each other, in time.
Great! Je Taime is up, I'll check it out for sure :)
Rilla :D Report Review
SUSAN! HOW HAVE I NOT REVIEWED YOUR WONDERFUL CHAPTER YET? Darn this stupid kidney infection/stone of mine that i've had the past four days. It distracts me not just from TDA stuff but HPff too! gah. anyhoo, enough about me! Onto the reviewing! :)
So as always, this was beautifully written! I'm still in love with your characters and I'm loving Rose more and more as it goes on! I can totally understand how she feels. I would totally spill my tea too by the way and make an utter fool of myself. I loved that bit..
And I'm starting to not like Ron so much...I understand he's the father and all of her but still she is older and needs to make her own mistakes/choice. Though, I do see how Ron is older than her and knows more but I think the good old prejudice against Draco's still there for him. Speaking of Draco, you portray him well.
And I was about ready to smack Ron for walking in cuz Scorpius was going to tell her something and he got interrupted! I still am leaning towards the idea that Scorpius doesn't really love Lily, he just needed to take someone to fill the space that Rose left him with. As for Rose, I think she still loves him...deep down inside...
but you're the writer, and a great one at that Susan! I think what you did with the interview/talking being intermixed into the present day part at the Malfoy place worked really well. I was able to understand everything and follow along well. Excellent job. :)
I'm looking foward to another chapter! Oh and I know i said it already but now that's it's been a few days since, I miss you as a lovely admin at TDA.it's like there's this hole that's been left behind from you leaving...even if you are still around to make gorgeous graphics. And I'm starting to ramble. Sorry. Keep writing, you are a huge inspiration for me!
and I hope Rose will be okay. i'm wondering where she's going...Author's Response: Haha, it's always a pleasure to receive your reviews, Sarah, but you know, since you are experiencing those nasty health problems, it's perfectly fine if you don't get to every single chapter. But it's really wonderful to hear from you all the same, and even better that you're enjoying this story so much. *huggles*
I haven't been sure of Rose's character for a while, so it means a lot that you're liking her more and more. She has a lot of sides to her, and even I'm not sure why she let herself fall for Scorpius. There is a reason, and I almost got to it in this chapter, but it's still something that needs to be worked out.
Even though I like Ron as a character, I don't seem capable of writing him in a positive light. He's very much the over-protective father, especially since he does not like Scorpius at all, and seeing Rose go back to Scorpius after being away for the last few years must be hard for him. Yet, until this moment, he never forbid her from seeing Scorpius - he was, for a time, willing to let them try out a relationship, but since that has crumbled, he's putting his foot down (though it's funny because now Rose is too old to be fully controlled by her parents). And you're right - the prejudice against the Malfoys is still very strong for him. Harry could, to a degree, get over it, but Ron cannot - it's too wired into his system.
Do you really think that Scorpius needs someone to love? Or even to love him? I'm not convinced yet, perhaps because I like making him the villain of the story. XD He could be leading Rose on at the same time that he wants to marry Lily (purely for financial and social reasons). I'm personally against having Rose with Scorpius, but that's my own inner issue - I'm thinking of leaving the ending open for interpretation. :P
I'm also glad that it wasn't a confusing chapter with the intermingling of the two scenes. I have trouble telling if something of mine is too confusing for readers. *hides*
Thank you very much for this review, Sarah! Like I said earlier, I really appreciate hearing your thoughts and opinions on my work. ^_^ Report Review
*sniffs* ahhh *sobs* Rilla, this made me tear up! It was so heartwrenching yet so beautifully written at the same time. I almost forgot this was an HPFF one shot. This could easily have been inside a short story book! I loved it. And do hold onto this lovely piece of writing. it was really good. ;)
One thing I love about your writing is you really know how to bring out the emotions in not only your characters but also in your readers. I really connected to your OC right away and immediately wanted to give her a hug! I know exactly how she feels.
10/10 - amazingly written. it was short but it was a good short one shot. it was very emotional and very deep. ;)
I hope you continue writing, not only hpff, but original fiction as well.
oooh you dedicated this to me tooo?? *sniffs* you have no idea how much that means to me! You're so sweet! Thank you so much! you're so sweet!
SarahAuthor's Response: Hey Sarah Bee! *gives you a huge hug!*
Aww thanks so much sweetie, your review means so much to me. *Blushes* wow was it really that good?
I'm so so happy that you liked it :)
I do intend to keep on writing and ater reading this review, How could I not!
You don't know how happy I'm feeling right now =)
I have to admit this is my most favorite piece of writing aswell; I can't belive how much I felt connected to my OC; I don't know her name yet. *smiles sheepisly*
I'm going to be expanding this soon, Maybe a novel or Novella! *cough*
Rilla :D Report Review
ooh poor hermione! I feel bad for her that she has to deal with Draco being soft and sweet one second then he goes back to his arrogant, mean self. This chapter was so good. I absolutely adore Adrian like I would a little brother! He is so cute and so sweet to hermione!
I really like your descriptions of the house and the rooms in this chapter too! I can see everything like a movie in my mind! You are an amazing writer! I loved the ending where Hermione got to tuck Adrian into bed. That was a sweet, motherly type of moment. Good job on that!
And your banner is gorgeous by the way! I know MissyPadfoot from TDA! Her work is lovely and that banner fits your story perfectly! I cannot wait for another chapter!
10/10 - awesome characters and descriptions! Author's Response: Heyy Gal!
Aww thanks so so much for reviewing! 104 reviews Wow!
I feel for hermione too, Draco is pretty Hot and Cold. J'adore Adrian too.
I too like the description of the house and rooms if I do say so myself =)
I'm glad the moment between Adrian and Hermione was well liked, I was a bit worried that it was moving too fast.
And I'm glad you like the banner by MissyPadfoot@TDA, her work is most defintly lovley and Chapter 6 is hopefully going to be up by next week.
Thanks for the 10/10
Rilla :D Report Review
oh wow this was a really good read! I love how you went back and forth between Draco and Hermione! It was neat to see Hermione's family for just a bit, as well as the Malfoy's.
I'll be honest, i actually cried when Draco was 'attempting' to use the killing curse in the 6th movie.but I also do feel my heart being tugged when he mentions his mission etc.
I love your portrayal of Narcissa. She seems very realistic and almost fragile. She has her son to worry about as well as herself and it's very emotional. You wrote her character wonderfully! :)
This is such a good story and I'm sad it's almost done!Author's Response: Thank you very much :D I thought Narcissa would be like that, so I'm glad you agree. She wouldn't have been mean I don't think. Yeah I cried during that scene too! And I wanted to add her family in cause if I post the Epilogue they'll be in it a lot and then in the sequel too. Thanks for the review! xoxo Report Review
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