I think these characters deserve to be prosecuted to the furthest extent of the law because there isn't any valid reason for them to destroy the property of other teams. And for James to commit these felonies when his father Head Auror and will have to be the one to prosecute him if his crimes are discovered.
Harry must be so ashamed to have raised a criminal, James, and a man who makes a profit out of death and destruction, Albus. Sorry but I can't continue a story in which I don't like or respect any of the main characters. Good luck though.Author's Response: You have every right not to continue reading my story, but you have to understand that there IS a reason behind why they're doing all of this. They don't just randomly vandalize because they want to win the game or anything. There is more of a suspense blackmail thing going on.
But thanks for reading! xx Report Review
James is totally confusing me! It appears that he fancies Hazel and is jealous of Al. But, now he appears to fancy Gemma. What in the world is going with him?
It would be too easy if James broke up with Hazel, started dated Gemma and Al finally asked Hazel to out with him, wouldn't it?Author's Response: Haha, he's a teenaged boy! Do they ever really know what they want? :)
Don't be silly--of course that would be too easy. Hopefully you'll see in the next couple of chapters why that's not really an option anyway.
As always, thanks so much for reviewing!! Report Review
You've written the conflict pretty well and created good characters. Hazel, in particular, is really likable and I love that she isn't neurotic or over emotional. She's actually a believable teenage protagonist and you've shown that through the little things like her wearing her bra, flannel pajamas and a robe to bed. I'd totally do the same thing if I was her.
We might need more Al so that we can see why Hazel likes him so much, especially when James seems much cooler and much more attractive than Al (given how you've cast the characters).
I look forward reading more of this story.Author's Response: Haha I'm glad you think she's realistic--just because she's not a complete nutter doesn't mean she can't be awkward about sharing a bed with a boy, right?
I hope the latest chapters have given you a bit more insight as to Hazel's pull toward Al. I'd love to know what you think! Thanks so much for being a loyal reader and reviewer :) Report Review
James doesn't seem like the sort to violate the No. 1 rule between brothers (and friends), which is not going after a brother's girl. Any girl that the brother crushes on, has as a girlfriend or as an ex-girlfriend. And if the brother was in love with the girl and she broke up with him? That's totally forbidden. So the pairing of James/Lorelei isn't very attractive to me. I had hoped that James would work to discover why she left and broke Albus' heart but instead it seems that James is going to fall for her. And she left because she got pregnant but not with Albus's child. Maybe she was assaulted?
I'd love it if you could assure me that this isn't James/Lorelie so I could continue reading...Author's Response: Okay, the best way I can think of approaching this is by stating that this story kind of writes itself. The characters are very organic and grow constantly. There are things that I never planned to happen that the character drove me to write (in future chapters).
One of the central themes in this story is identity. For James it is his last year at school and he is trying to figure out who he wants to be after he graduates. For Lorelei and Albus it is about accepting who they are now as opposed to who they were when they were fourteen.
So I can't promise you Lorelei/James won't EVER happen. They could grow into that. If it did happen, though, at this point (given the characters I know they will become by December) I doubt it would last between the two.
On the same thread, I can't promise you that Al/Lorelei wouldn't happen. Right now they are not in any place for a romantic reconciliation. We'll have to wait and see!
Thanks for the review. Report Review
That was a great chapter! The Scorpius twist has made me re-examine Dominique's motives for the Team Rose vs. Team Dominique drama. I'm interested to find out what happens next with that.
Your 'romantic' scene was incredibly well done. The descriptions were vague enough to stay classy.
The most important thing about the chapter was Al admitting that he is in love with Clemence! Although I'm sure neither he nor Clemence realized what he said.Author's Response: Even though I passed this chapter off as kind of fillery, the consequences of this chapter are definitely going to be fun 8D regrets and non-regrets alike~
Haha, it was a struggle to keep a balance. When it was too vague, it just sounded like Clemence was using a bunch of euphemisms and had no idea what was happening to her xD
♥ thank you! Report Review
Al's jealous and doesn't want his baby-mama to start dating someone else. She isn't even giving Al a second thought and Al gets thrown to the curb romantically by every girl. it would be nice if he could have someone sane and awesome into him...Author's Response: Definitely jealous. :P She wouldn't if she knew, but more in that will come, I promise. :)
Thank you for leaving a review.
Sam. Report Review
It's good to see a new chapter of this story even if nothing happened. I wonder who the source of the story is? Seems like it could be Celene. Maybe I think that because the article said that James "dated" Celene instead of calling it shagging or sleeping with or cheated on Allison with...
Given that James has been having a great five years, why is Allison pathetically remaining hung up on James? You've told us that they were in love but without specifics it doesn't seem special. In addition, we don't know Allison well enough to believe that the Weasleys would LOVE her so much. What is special about her? Show us who she is and why she's worth saving!Author's Response: I know that it seems like Allie's still hung up and that James has been having the time of his live, but remember that we've only seen Allie's POV so far. Seeing as she hasn't had any contact with James, she doesn't really know how he's been. She only knows what the tabloids have been writing about him.
Also, I know that it may seem a bit unrealistic that the Weasleys are so fond of Allie when they only knew her for a short while. Allie was James' first real girlfriend, and while his siblings and cousins introduced several partners to the family, James never did. Allie was the first, and that made her special.
I'm going to try to show you more of Allie's personality, and maybe then the whole thing will make more sense :) There'll also be more information about James and Allie's relationship, and how and why everything went so wrong.
Anyways, thank you for your criticism! I really appreciate it :) Report Review
The only thing I didn't like was that it didn't last long enough!Author's Response: I know what you mean, and I'm planning on elongating it, I was just so excited to get it up! Thanks for your review (: Report Review
Draco is suing them for revenge and no other reason. He doesn't need the money, he just wants them humiliated and broke. Hermione Granger would not act so irrationally and vindictively. It is very OOC for Hermione to agree w/Malfoy's decision because absolutely no good will come from the suit.Author's Response: Oh, it's absolute that Draco's doing it for revenge. Don't forget though who was behind the idea in the first place!
The reasoning behind Hermione's response - along with Draco's actions - is that they've both been so hurt from Harry's and Ginny's actions. I'm sure you can relate in doing something irrational out of anger. Also, Hermione wasn't necessarily saying that she would go after Harry and Ginny...just stating in general.
Anyway, you'll just have to see how things go on! It may just surprise you! ;)
Thank you so much for the review! I really do appreciate it! :) Report Review
It was a lovely surprise to find that you've updated this story. Albus gets more interesting with each chapter and I like that he has some insight into his own weaknesses and failure to stop James from bullying Kate and others. Report Review
This doesn't make a whole lot of sense or it's difficult to take seriously. In the first chapter you mention that she was in 5th year when she got pregnant. So this means that they started dating when they were 12 or 13 years old? She had sex for the first time when she was a third year? That's eighth grade in the US, which is pretty early to be getting drunk AND having sex.Author's Response: They got together when Al was 13 and Flick 12.
They broke up in their 4th year, Al was 15 as was Flick. Then they got back together 2 months later.
An then when they were in 5th year and were both 16 they had sex.
Al and Flick weren't drunk when they did it together but they were when they did it for the 1st time with Nolan and Hattie.
Hope that clears it up a bit.
P.s - I know people who had sex for the first when they were 13 and some people who had been smoking since they were 9/10 as well as drinking.
Man, Stella gives absolutely awful advice! Albus tells Stella that he is in love with Ray. Stella knows that Ray doesn't believe Albus and thinks he is just looking for a hook-up. So Stella tells Albus to immediately go and ask Cecily, a "serial dater", for a date. If Al dates anyone right away it will confirm, to Ray, that he wasn't serious about Ray and wasn't looking for a relationship but a hook-up. I would blame Stella for the impending disaster but Albus is pretty stupid to take Stella's advice to heart...
You do such a great job of writing Stella in such a way that we empathize with her even when we recognize that her assumptions and actions are wrong. This is especially true in this chapter because while I'm happy she actually confronted James and stood up for herself, she wasn't very fair to James because she had already convinced herself of his guilt. The tension is going to make for great conflict in the upcoming chapters so I'm happy as a reader ;-)
Thanks for the new chapter, I hope you have less trouble with the next one. Report Review
This chapter was a little bit exciting because we finally have hope that Selena will actually be around in future chapters. Maybe she'll actually hold entire conversations with James?
Now, I know that he's scared of losing her as a friend but it seems like their relationship is in such a bad place that he wouldn't be risking much to tell her his feelings. Yes, it would mess up the plot but she has spent the last four months ignoring James and yet he has done nothing. With the way he's acted so far, it's hard to believe that he's in Gryffindor, much less that he's a Wotter... Not that he isn't completely loveable! He's just afraid of rejection and it's a bit pathetic when she's rejecting him every day.Author's Response: Things definitely might be looking up!
Yeah, James is a little bit afraid of Selene. But he also knows how best to deal with her. Yes, he probably should be trying to do more, but he also knows that the best way to get Selene to forgive you is to leave her alone. But yes, he can be a bit pathetic - something that he himself acknowledges!
Thank you for the review!
-Laura Report Review
You've done a good job showing us Quinn and James's twisted and hilarious relationship. The scene where they throw Grindylow-ish water at each other was hilarious. It was easy to imagine the scene and both characters covered in murky water.
I really look forward to reading more of this story!Author's Response: Hello, oh you'll be seeing plenty more of their twist relationship, never fear. Thank you, I'm glad you found it fun, it was worried it was too cheesy but I couldn't help myself. More shall be coming and thank you for the review,
InkAndParchment x Report Review
I think you're not getting a lot of reviews because you started the story with the premise that Hope had sex with an evil guy known to torture Lily Potter. That made me believe that she is not worth forgiving and the Potters and Weasleys are better off without her. Then, Hope runs after them pathetically. Where is her self respect? And finally in this chapter you have the supposedly wonderful leading male love interest, James Potter, consciously and soberly having an affair with a cruel, petty and horrible Slytherin who is almost as bad as the guy Hope slept with. James is worse than Hope because he chooses to have sex and romance this horrible girl REPEATEDLY when he is completely sober. Yet, after finding out about his actions, Hope doesn't say anything to him about him being a filthy, hypocritical, disgusting, promiscuous jerk? She doesn't even think anything bad about him! What gives? Why should we care about either of these characters when they are either pathetic or hypocritical a-holes?Author's Response: * Constance, her name is Constance. And this is just the beginning, you can't judge a character completely by first impressions. I'd rather have a story that builds up rather than using all of the good parts in the beginning, the whole story if to realize the bad sides of people before seeing the good. Constance doesn't say anything because you didn't see what she has to say which is in the next chapter, what would you do if you were in her position? She isn't the most inspirational or greatest character ever, but that's the whole point. Every story has this character who is completely lighting with beauty, why not show that beauty isn't given yet created? There are so many people in the world who can relate to her position. This isn't going to be a story about cheating, alcohol and drugs though i'm sure it seems that way. I was insecure about posting this story because of ways people who see the character, but you don't understand her story or the others in this story which is the whole point. Maxxie isn't always this happy-go-lucky guy, James has problems of his own and everyone has their background. Judging by how much you hate these characters, you have either met one in real life or you know of one who's pathetic or an a-hole. I've seen so many in this world, but i've always judged them so easily. But knowing their background, and what they can achieve in this world is the beauty. People who have gone through things, no matter how stupid they are, are the ones with the greatest stories. I'm trying to prove that high-school is just a part of your life, you have no idea the plans I have for Constance. Nevertheless, I know how it must appear, me having an story with such terrible personalities of the characters, but if you're even slightly interested in the story, stay tuned and wait. But thank you for telling me the faults of this. Hope you have a good day :) Report Review
Okay, I'm not sure if it's just me or if you've changed earlier chapters but the story really seems to have veered off from some of the earlier plot points. First, Tiff didn't trust James because of some event in their earlier years. That seems to have been ignored for the last five chapters. Second, James had some sort of conflict with Lily and they have a poor relationship because of that conflict/event. But we haven't heard anything about that since you introduced it in an earlier chapter. I know that it's been years since you started this story but it seems like the last year of chapters hasn't really carried all of the original plot points. I know it's only been 4 or 5 chapters but since such a long period of time has passed, it really seems like the story is static. Report Review
From the way you have written this, it seems obvious the James Potter was the one using the Map under the Invisibility Cloak and thus was the one who assaulted Clover. If not, then surely he leant the Cloak and Marauders'' Map to someone so that they could assault her.Author's Response: You seem really intelligent, but it actually wasn't James. Believe it or not, he wasn't that cruel. It was someone else though - keep your eyes open for them. It could be anyone! Report Review
Wow, James is a total prick. They kept the relationship secret and didn't even give Albus the chance to figure things out. The betrayal of going behind his back and Scorpius kinda using the excuse of staying with his "best friend" Albus for the summer, when he's actually there for James, is enough to anger and alienate most people for a time. Albus needs to man up and express his disappointment in how he was treated and let Scorpius and James know that it's not okay.Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Yeah, I guess Albus has a right to feel a bit disappointed and confused. Report Review
Congrats on moving and finishing the story! I'm thrilled that there will be more to read soon, especially since the chance that "Coming Back a Swan" will be finished is about 1:10,000,000,000,000. So--you're awesome :)
You may have addressed this before but here I go anyway. It's great that James is sorry for how he treated Coco but I wonder if he would have such regret if she wasn't hot. If she had come back with Don and the only difference was that she was average looking or even plain, then would James feel such regret? How much has his ability to empathize grown?Author's Response: Haha thank you! But yes, I'm just as sad as you that CBAS will probably not be finished, it's such a good story and I love it so so much, but I kind of started writing this because I'd read lots of stories just like CBAS that just never got finished so I took it upon myself to be the first to finish. And I'm so proud of myself for finishing this story. Literally it's the first story I've ever finished which is like insane. I never thought it would happen.
Anyway, I'm rambling. But to address the other part of this review, I'm hoping that I'll be able to answer your question in a kind of subtle way in the story, where we just learn in general that he's just not that same person anymore and thus that's why he's been trying to get Corinne to forgive him, not because she's pretty. But we shall see if I achieved that for you soon :)
Anyways, thank you so much for sticking with me through this story despite your doubts and I really appreciate your reviews!
-Rebecca Report Review
The ending seemed a little disturbing because it brought up tension that could destroy everything Al gained throughout the fic. All of a sudden Al has to deal with the possibility that James has always had a thing for Jan, which means that James may have made out with (or more) Jan for reasons beyond being horny during the boycott. So, if I am reading correctly, Al doesn't want to confront James because he doesn't want to have to choose between James and Jan? Maybe you have to spell it out more for emotional toddlers like me because I don't get why Al would have to choose. Is it because the truth, if bad, would mess up the dynamic? Is it because Albus would feel like he had to ease James's pain by breaking up with Jan? 'Cause James would never ask Al to break up with Jan and Jan wouldn't run away with James so the breaking up bit confuses me to no end.
Maybe I'm a bit dramatic but since Al hasn't kept any of his resolutions pertaining to James throughout the story, it seems a given that he'll confront James about his supposed feelings for Jan. And the presumption in this chapter is that James has feelings and airing out those feelings will break up Albus and Jan.
James's feelings seem really sudden too! Throughout the story, it seemed like James was jealous of Jan for taking Al's attention. If I re-read the fic, will I find that James was jealous of Al?
Ugh, am I not 'getting it' to the extent that I should I read the entire story again? Report Review
That was a truly wonderful conclusion to the story and this is coming from someone who didn't want to read the chapter because it would mean facing the fact that the story was ending. But, I eventually gave in and read it and and the chapter was well worth facing my fears!
The scene between June and Hufflepuff was my favorite scene. I've never thought much the purpose of Hufflepuff, but June's insight is brilliant. Helga is the Molly Weasley of Hogwarts--full of the desire to nurture her charges and make them feel like part of a family no matter their backgrounds, strengths or fears. The idea of June and her friends needing a home, a place to be safe, made me tear up.
'Bathing in Roses' has such intelligence, humor and originality. It's been an honor to have read this story, especially since you could be writing professionally There are other skilled writers who write fanfiction in Harry Potter but very, very few of them actually finish their stories. You're the elite!
Thank you for everything, it's been a pleasure reading this and I can't wait for the sequel. Report Review
Her attitude towards him switched so abruptly that I have whiplash. If he really did do something awful to destroy her faith in men and romantic relationships, then she is TOTALLY pathetic to be acting like this.Author's Response: Um.
Totally pathetic to be acting how, exactly? Causing a scene at her sister's wedding would be kind of silly, especially when she's the one that said nothing bad would happen there. She tried to be nice, then ended up insulting him, plus denying his request for a date. If she'd have said yes and fell all over him, that would be different, I think.
If you're meaning her attitude towards him after he helped her out, I don't see what's so bad about that? He was nice, and she couldn't be a total loser about it. If you can't forget your past to be nice to someone (for just a couple of paragraphs) who has helped you out, then there's something wrong with you. Report Review
I am pretty disappointed in Addie for giving up so completely. Not to say I would have stuck in there but I hoped she wouldn't be as weak as most of us... Report Review
I'm not usually fond of characters that are this much like Samantha from "Sex and the City" but it's kinda refreshing here. I like that she really and honestly doesn't care what people think of her and she doesn't feel the need to defend herself to Lily. She doesn't forgive him and perhaps she's acting out by running through men so rapidly but she isn't so bitter that she needs everyone to know what he did to her.
I'm excited to see how James and/or Emilia will ruin the wedding 'cause it's certain that something will happen, right?Author's Response: Hi ^^.
I wasn't sure who Samantha was, because even though I've heard of the series, I've never watched it. I looked her up, and I hope Emmy never gets that wild. But from what I've read, I can see the similarities, and I'm glad you find Emelia refreshing. She is the type of girl that doesn't make much bother her. Not to say that it doesn't sometimes, but she can't let herself be bogged down by worry and other people's thoughts.
She is acting out by not staying in a lasting relationship, but she doesn't realise it. I'm hoping she does eventually, because it is unhealthy.
Ahaha. I can't say, but we'll see if they do, yes?
Thanks for reading and reviewing!
~Leigh Report Review
Your first paragraph has so many spelling errors that I couldn't finish the paragraph, much less the chapter. If you can, get a proof-reader (beta) whose strengths are your weaknesses. Assuming that you know Spell-check does not fix homonym errors and will often incorrectly change plurals into possessives as you did in the first paragraph. All of the following words from your first paragraph should NOT have apostrophes: eye's, member's, uncle's, cousin's, aunt's, uncle's, adult's, and chair's. That's eight errors in one paragraph.
Readers aren't going to comment honestly on the story unless you ask for constructive criticism. Instead of providing you honest feedback, the readers will quit reading the story and not leave a review. If you're serious about writing and doing it well, then you need to take more time to fix plot holes and have a competent beta check your work before you publish online. Report Review
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