Reading Reviews From Member: momotwins
  
480 Reviews Found

Review #26, by momotwinsThis year will be my year.: This year will be my year

25th December 2013:
Writing from Voldemort's perspective is tough. You did a good job with it. I think you captured his self-focus and lack of empathy, and his assurance that he knows his followers so well and can see their every thought really sets up his trust of Snape.

Also I bet Snape was thinking some snarky things when Voldy said he was no match for his Legilimency. Haha, that's what you think. :p

Definitely not a cheerful Christmas story, but hey it went with the prompt! Good job and merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Hi there, christmas was great, but (as always) boxing day was even better!

thanks for the review, I do write happy stuff normally, everynow and then though somethign like this sneaks out!
I am glad you took the time to read through it though!
AHve agreat new year!


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Review #27, by momotwinsThaw: Thaw

25th December 2013:
"The thing about Lycanthropy, however, was that the worst came round again like clockwork." "Certain darknesses will vanish you, as if the turning of the earth was a spell." Holy crap. Great writing.

This is really well written, both in content and mechanics - your grammar is wonderful, the writing style is very natural, and the story flows beautifully. Really a great piece of writing. I'm very impressed. It's so sad and poignant. And I love how you turn a phrase.

Poor Remus. This is just so miserable for him, and his family tries so hard to make it better, to make it normal. Ack so awful and sad. And well written. Really great job, Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :D I'm really glad you liked it (ooh, I'm blushing a bit as I read this). I wrote it after reading about Lupin's life story on Pottermore, which was like the internet equivalent of being kissed by a Dementor. I never thought I'd be happy again. And thus an angsty one-shot was born.

Thanks for the review! ♥


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Review #28, by momotwinsTwo: A Perfect Blend: Blended Christmas

25th December 2013:
Love the pie eating contests - and that their wives won't let them do it if they catch them. ;) Made me grin. I really loved your touches of canon mentions - the Grangers not liking her to eat sugar, George's fireworks, Molly putting up a token argument.

The contrast with Scorpius's Christmas memories was great - his seem so stark and sterile next to the Weasleys. I think it's really in keeping with the Malfoys. Poor Scorp.

I LOVE that Neville is the one who told them about the Room of Requirement. That's just great, and really creative, I've never seen anyone write that bit before. I really want to know what Rose gave him though!

This is really sweet and adorable, I think you did great. Everyone is in character and it's got a great Christmas, romantic feel. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you. :) I'm glad you like the little details.. I like to think they give unique little touches to the story. Since I love reading about them I do endeavour to write about them as much as I'm able. My only problem is word count.. I do have the tendency to ramble and this one asked me to keep it below 4000. And believe me, with the choice I'd have written way more than that. HAHA.
The bit about Neville was my favorite because I love Neville! If I had found a way I'd have inserted Luna more prominently as well but alas lacked space to do so. :)
I honestly have no idea what Rose gave him. That's why I didn't have him open up the gift. In my head canon Albus told Rose that Scorpius was coming and dropped bomb-sized hints that he didn't receive gifts and in her carelessly kind way bought him a gift. But what would you give a guy you knew had everything and you weren't friends with anyway? I couldn't answer the question so I just used the gift thing as a 'symbol' haha.
I'm glad you liked it since I had way too much fun writing this one. Thanks for the awesome review.

--Carla


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Review #29, by momotwinsA Home for the Holidays: A Potter Family Christmas

25th December 2013:
Poor Sirius, he's so awkward and he doesn't know how to be part of a family for a holiday. Aww wee lamb. And James's dad helped him learn to Apparate. Oh this makes me so sad and happy for him at the same time - sad that he's never had parents who love him and happy that he found the Potters, you know? I loved James in this too, he's so adorably childlike and enthusiastic. It's just perfect.

I like your writing style - you do description well, and your characterization and dialogue are very natural. Great job, I liked this story a lot :)

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Review #30, by momotwinsMince Pies and Sherry: Mince Pies and Sherry

25th December 2013:
Oh jeez. They are all a mess, aren't they? Harry's kids can't get it together, Ron's kids seem determined to kill themselves, poor Molly seems to be cooking for 50 all by herself. But hey, Arthur's learned how to use a telephone! And so has Ron! haha. That made me smile. I bet Hermione gave them a bunch of lessons on it. Ron calling his dad and not actually getting any help cracked me up.

Awww poor Perce. That was a crap thing for her to do, right at Christmas without warning. I'm glad George went to get him, I think that was a nice touch - I can see them being closer after the battle.

So, I like the ending, and I really enjoyed this piece. Loved Hugo saying "It was just because you love me so much", haha. Little boy confidence. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Yes, the Weasley's are in complete shambles - especially on Christmas Day. But Arthur even installed a telephone, and now everyone can talk to each other (Hermione had her work cut out.)!

Poor Percy :( He doesn't deserve it, but he was my scapegoat for my story needing something more. I'm glad you picked up on George and Percy - I did that because I felt like they would be close, after the battle.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review. It was lovely to read. Merry Christmas!


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Review #31, by momotwinsA Christmas Wish: A Christmas Wish

25th December 2013:
I really like your writing style here. It's very in tone with how JKR writes the Potterverse. Starting out with the Muggles, and then to the wizarding family, it feels like the beginning of Sorcerer's Stone. I dig it :) I always love to see American wizards, too. It's like wizarding anthropology. The wizard Christmas decor sounds really fun, I love it. Also I totally want to study Egyptian Potions and Medieval Charm Crafting. Very cute story, I liked the characters and how you gave it a different but still familiar feel to the British wizard world. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I've been wanting to write about a family of American wizards/witches for some time. I'm looking forward to writing more stories with these characters. :)

Those would be interesting subjects to take. :)

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #32, by momotwinsBreakoff Altitude: Prologue

21st August 2013:
Good start. I love a story about the Prewett brothers, especially when it's written correct to the time period. When you mentioned brown corduroy pants, I pictured them with a 60s/70s cut and smiled. Can't wait to see where you go with this!

Author's Response: I completely fangirled for a bit when I saw that you reviewed. :) You're a fantastic writer!!

And thanks for noticing our attempts to get the time period and the fashion down. We did a bunch of research before we started.

Thanks so much for reading thing, it's made my day super fantastic

Cheers,
Handknittedsweaters
-Rebekah


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Review #33, by momotwinsIn The Lull: In The Lull

22nd March 2013:
Aww! Very romantic. Really enjoyed it. Beautifully written, just love your characterizations and your adherence to canon. Small touches like Hermione's achiness from the torture and the mention of Ollivander really make the story. Love it.

You left in some tags to italicize a word, they're showing as part of the story. :)

Author's Response: Yay, first review! Thank you :)

I'm glad you enjoyed this so much. I just had all these leftover Ron & Hermione feelings and I had this image of them at the beach, and it sort of tumbled out over an hour's writing!

Oh, those tags. I edited them out, they should be gone now.

And! Thank you for the very exciting PM I received today. Made a very horrible day much much much better.

-Sarah


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Review #34, by momotwinsOver The Edge: Chapter Fifteen: Peter

4th January 2013:
Oh man. Nope, I don't believe it, he's not using again. Well, maybe I don't want to believe it. Jeez. That was a tough chapter. Poor Rose, and poor Viktor, but hey your Hugo is a Healer-in-training! That's how I write him too. High-five for similar head canons ;)

Extremely well-written. I love your writing style. I did see you wrote "angel" when it should've been "angle". And yay I get to be the first review on this chapter!

Author's Response: It was a tough chapter to write too. I've already started on the next one and isn't all that pretty either. Does this say something about me!?!

Healer-in-training -- it just fits Hugo so well, doesn't it? When I "gave" him the job in chapter 7, I didn't even realize it would be convenient for the plot later on. And thank you for the lovely compliment. I'm glad if people like the story, but hearing people like the writing itself is squee-worthy!

Oh, and I fixed the typo, so thank you for that too!



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Review #35, by momotwinsOver The Edge: Chapter Fourteen: Regina McFey

2nd January 2013:
Oooh Regina's nasty. In an interesting way. And oh man, Krum's house in Bulgaria sounds awful. Poor guy. He's really a mess. I feel sorry for him. And Rose, och, she really ought to stay away, cause he's broke as hell and in legal trouble and... Well, if she were a friend of mine, I'd advise her to stay away. But this makes for a much better story, doesn't it? ;)

Author's Response: Regina is a piece of work, to be sure. And we haven't seen the last of her, unfortunately. And yes, Rose could probably do with a good shake. Someone needs to tell her to run away and fast! But some girls, they just can't resist a man in need of saving.

Thanks for the run of unexpected reviews. They totally made my day :)


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Review #36, by momotwinsOver The Edge: Chapter Thirteen: Mr. and Mrs. Ron Weasley

2nd January 2013:
Poor Rose. Too chicken to go inside. And this is what I get for skipping early chapters, I didn't know Hugo was gay! He seems adorable and funny, I like him.

Ron muttering and grunting bad-temperedly is everything I could have hoped for XD and Hermione trying to be reasonable and good parenting and all. I love it. Their fight, totally ignoring their kids, made me super happy. Hahaha... It's just so very them.

Rose and her writing sound familiar ;) Ohhh Hermione should've told her. It's bound to come out eventually, even though it was really no big deal. But not discussing it will come back to bite her later, I bet. And Hermione's "it doesn't matter what I think", ah I bet she secretly thinks it's a mistake.

Another excellent chapter. Next!

Author's Response: Yea! I'm so glad you liked Hugo. He's been fun to play with, and he'll pop up again in some future chapters too.

And a huge double-yea that you liked the Ron/Hermione bits. You being the queen of writing canon, if you can buy them here, that's a huge compliment. It didn't turn out exactly as I'd planned, but hopefully it was still believable.

Thank you for another lovely review, my dear!


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Review #37, by momotwinsOver The Edge: Chapter Twelve: Some Bloke

2nd January 2013:
Ah, the flat is Liddy's, that makes sense. I can just see her offering to let him stay, rent-free, while he gets back on his feet.

Eeeek, busted! Oh man, she's going to be in trouble when she gets home! Excellent, excellent chapter, really sucked me in. Sorry the review isn't longer. Your writing is brilliant and you are awesome but I can't stop to review cause I must click "next"!

Author's Response: The best reason for a short review ever! And yep, it's all Liddy. I remember you mentioning on another chapter that he was throwing a lot of money around for a guy who is supposed to be broke, so hopefully that helps clear it up.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #38, by momotwinsSomething to be Used by Others: Something to Be Used by Others

25th December 2012:
Hmm. Interesting character choice! Well, it said a challenge so maybe it wasn't a choice, but still, very unusual. A full story of Countess Bathory as a witch would be really cool. This was stylistically very fascinating, suited the dark tone well, and of course grammar and word choice is excellent. It is weird, yes, but I don't think it's silly at all. Over the top suits Countess Bathory so I don't think you can really say whether it is or not, if that makes sense, because over the top is what she's all about so that's what makes it work.

Anyway, excellent one-shot, I hope you win the challenge! And merry Christmas :)

Author's Response: Hey! So sorry for taking a million years to get back to you!

Bathory was all my choice, haha! She is such an odd bit of histroy, filtered by pop-culture and endorced by feminists, I couldn't not write about her. There is so much about her story that doesn't add up and there are other parts that express the time period she lived in very well.

It's wonderful to hear that I found a way to represent her accurately, or, at least interestingly :)

Thank you for the review! Cheers!


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Review #39, by momotwinsThe Harbinger: Chapter 1: Changing the past

24th December 2012:
Interesting start. The forger and his daughter were very lively characters, I liked their scene. I did think it was odd that they seem to expect Roxanne to be telling them the truth about what she wants on her papers when she's there for forged papers. You'd think they'd ask what she wants them to say rather than for her entire history. There's not much detail on the plot yet but enough to get interest, and Roxanne seems good so far from what I can see. Your descriptive language is very good, and I didn't see any grammatical errors. Everything looks good, basically :) I hope you continue the story!

Author's Response: Well the way I saw it was more like this. If one would go to a forger and wanted a complete new identity that person would want certain things on their paper and so did they think. I mean they don’t expect her to say the truth but the story she wants on paper. That was exactly what they were implying haha. Glad to hear so! I surely will continue this.

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Review #40, by momotwinsThe Calendar Girls: Celebrating

24th December 2012:
These names are hilarious. I'm cracking up. Parents sometimes do the weirdest things to their kids. We knew a family back home in Hawaii whose last name was Park and named their kids for all the state parks on our island. People would just snicker at them when they said their names. Hippie parents of the 70s for the win.

Anyway, I feel bad for this mom - she's so nice to them when they're being such brats! I like their wallpaper patched wall, I would have loved that as a teenager. Their grandmother has a heck of a name. Unusually long. Well, not unusual for fanfic ;)

Flamingo neck sounds like a spell that'd see a lot of use at school XD I can just see the Weasleys hexing each other left and right with that one.

So overall: Your grammar and spelling are lovely, which is hugely wonderful and a relief for this poor validator; the story flows nicely once it settles down into the narrative; and the OCs are appealing. Well, after the initial scene, in which they are not appealing at all ;) I liked them better after that. The screaming at each other in the beginning seems a little at odds with their behavior the rest of the chapter, and it's a bit jarring as a beginning actually, almost as if you hadn't entirely settled on a personality for the girls yet or a tone for the story. I like that they're Ravenclaws (well, I am Head of House after all), especially since so often everyone in Next Gen seems to be a Gryffindor or occasionally a Slytherin. Nice to see some Claw love!

Author's Response: This being fanfiction, I gave myself the freedom of giving my characters crazy names, but in real life, parents should not be allowed to name their children after parks. I'm torn between laughter or horror/pity with your anecdote!

The grandmother's names, embarassingly enough, are literally copy pasted off someone in my family, minus the first name. Our naming traditions are almost as bad as this family's, I'm afraid...

The initial scene was a bit of a spur of the moment piece of writing, but I'm far from pleased with it. However, as of today I'm a bit clueless on how to change it, though I'll definitely keep in mind that it needs some serious editing!

Ravenclaw wasn't even a question, being one myself. It's also my shout-out against Gryffindor Mary-Sues.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #41, by momotwinsKeep Calm and Carry On: Take Two and Call Me in the Morning

10th December 2012:
I've read quite a lot of post-Hogwarts, pre-Next Gen, young adult trio sort of stories (what can I say, being a validator means you see a broad range of stuff on the site), but not as many side character centered stories in this era.

I'm so glad you pointed out the unflattering nature of school uniforms. It's so true, and so rarely addressed in fanfic. You'd think they were all on the Victoria's Secret runway the way some stories talk about clothes. And I like the name you picked for your OC, it fits well with the rest of Harry's class at school. Sounds very British to me. I feel Edie's pain on old lady names, as my middle name is for my grandmother and is a total old lady name and I've always hated it. Of course, Edie's namesake sounds far cooler than my grandmother ever was.

I never thought of Witch Weekly as intended for teenage girls rather than older ladies. Since Mrs. Weasley reads it, I've always pictured it as sort of Good Housekeeping and sort of Star - part unreliable gossip and part articles on losing weight and 10 ways to cook a pork chop kind of things. It would be less repellent as a teen beat kind of magazine, I suppose. lol

Your writing is excellent. Practiced and adult, and by that I mean you don't write like you're young and inexperienced with the written word, and that is a very good thing. Polished, you know? Your grammar is great, flow is good, vocabulary, all that. Looks great :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for the review. I did indeed take some liberties with Witch Weekly--namely that it is no longer a weekly publication--but I wanted to keep as many things canon as I could, with so many OCs and locations I've included that aren't in the Potterverse.

I haven't quite decided if I want to address that within my story, or if I just want readers to kind of overlook it and assume that bit is slightly AU.

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #42, by momotwinsThis Christmas: This Christmas

10th December 2012:
Ah I couldn't resist your Christmas one! And it's fun to read Marauders now and then ;)

Lily staying at school to avoid Petunia's Muggle future in-laws is so sad. Poor girl. Petunia is a pretty crappy excuse for a sister. And Lily's boyfriend is a big fat jerk too. What a crap Christmas.

I did want to point out though that it's only the boys who can't go to the girls' dorm (or the stairs turn into slides). The girls can go to the boys' dorm without that happening. ;) They thought girls were more trustworthy, according to Hermione.

The food baby made me laugh. My best friend always says that. Lily and James are cute together. And slipping in a "silent night" on Christmas, lol. James is a bit touchy (teenage boys!) but he's such a nice guy.

You jumped between tenses a few times - present tense here and there - and I noticed a spot where James is speaking but it's marked "I said". Aside from that, I didn't notice any grammatical or spelling errors, so nicely done :)

Author's Response: Aw thanks so much for this! I really enjoyed writing this piece last year for the secret santa and I'm so glad that everyone else is finding it to be cute as well. Yeah the whole past tense then present tense is something I have a hard time with. I'm really glad that you enjoyed this piece and thought it was a cute Christmas read. Thanks for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #43, by momotwinsPercy Weasley is a Vampire: A New Lead

9th December 2012:
I may or may not have been haunting my reviews to see when you'd left me one so I could run over here and read this story XD I can't resist this title, and I always enjoy a good Percy/Audrey.

AHAHAHA she has Spectrespecs! Oh my God. The idea of a person who would admire Luna getting together with Percy is making me super happy. And she made her own badge haha. I'm dying. "A wild Weasley appeared" XD Do you watch Mythbusters? That reminded me of Adam making fun of Jamie like he's a walrus in a documentary. "The wild Hyneman in its natural habitat..." She's going to get thrown out of this shop when they catch her. lol

Aww Percy does the snack trolley? He probably thinks of it as penance. That's so sad and sweet. Or maybe nobody wants him now since he was so heavily involved in the old regime. Hmm.

"The voice smelled like freckles." hahahaha. I just died again. This story is so cute and hilarious. I love it. Audrey's a nut. She's almost like Luna but more actively crazy where I always think of Luna as being passively crazy. If that makes sense.

Super fun story, I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Audrey is an absurd play on the 'quirky girl' fanfic trope. She is more or less every self-professed nutter rolled up into one giant mess, which was extremely fun to write. I like to think she and Percy even each other out.

You're spot on about the snack trolley being a penance, which is sad. :( He's intentionally keeping away from jobs of power he thinks might lead him back into his old ways, and it's important that his family continues to like him and he doesn't want to turn back into that prat. Poor Percy.

That is a fab way of looking at it - Luna's crazy but doesn't really know it, and she's kind of softened around the edges. Audrey's just a large ball of energy spinning out of control.

Thank you for reading and reviewing!


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Review #44, by momotwinsOf the Weird and the Lovely: Dare You to Move

8th December 2012:
Hey sweetie! I feel silly (and repetitive) reviewing Memory Dust since you've already heard my thoughts on that story, so I'm reviewing this one! I always enjoy a Luna story, and I really enjoyed your take on her.

I also really liked your characterization of Dean. He does appear regularly in canon but we don't really have a strong sense of his personality, which makes him a lot more open to interpretation. I think you did really well with him. I like his wariness of Luna, cause she really is an odd duck, and I suspect after their imprisonment in Malfoy Manor, he would find her a little uncomfortable to be around. But they do share a bond from their time together, and Luna does love to make friends. She's very open in her affection. And her being raised wizard - extremely eccentric wizard at that - to Dean's sort of everyman Muggle upbringing, they're really sort of polar opposites. He just doesn't understand her. She is an odd duck, that's for sure.

Poor Luna, she wants to have faith in her dad and that he's okay. She's such an optimist. And poor Dean, I've always felt very sorry for him in the Deathly Hallows era. And he never knew his dad was a wizard too.

The kiss was super sweet XD I loved it. Dean is a doll for giving her her first kiss.

It's a really lovely story. I liked the simplicity of Dean and Luna's interactions at the battle, and that nothing else needed to be said about the kiss. They can just be, you know? He seems to get her better in that moment. Love it!

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Review #45, by momotwinsSunshine, Daisies, Butter Mellow: It's Foolproof!

8th December 2012:
I just want you to know that I had a really hard time choosing a story of yours to start on, because they all sound awesome. I wound up with this one because I love this ship, and it certainly didn't disappoint. It's adorable and hilarious - like Ron! - and I loved it.

Galleons in a sock as a Christmas present. XD I'm dying. Oh Ron. Bless. Him talking to himself, and procrastinating buying a gift for so long that he wound up forgetting, that is just perfect. I love it. Fantasizing how Hermione dueling Malfoy XD haha. I love this story, it's cracking me up. The idea of Ron attempting to make cannolis is especially hilarious. Bet that'd be good!

The fact that his primary method of selecting a Christmas present for her is to either steal it from a sibling or from Grimmauld Place is really hilarious. Sheesh. And him dumping out memories down the drain. OMG. I can't stop giggling. Hermione would probably be horrified by that. And random stuff in a fake potion... Oh man. This whole story is too funny. I love it!

I definitely, definitely want to read more of your stories!

Author's Response: Romione's always a good choice. XD I wrote it as a Christmas present for TenthWeasley last year, and she said she wanted to read a Ron/Hermione. This intimidated me because I'm admittedly afraid of trying to write Hermione without butchering her, but thought I could more accurately get inside Ron's head, so that's why we ended up seeing Christmas through his eyes.

I would love to see Hermione dueling Malfoy - and not in the underlying-sexual-tension sort of way. And then afterwards she and Ron could ride off into the sunset on a hippogriff.

Ron's immediate instinct is to just take something from someone else. XD lol. If Hermione knew Ron had destroyed someone else's memories, she would probably have a fit.

Loved this review! Thank you so much for reading. :)


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Review #46, by momotwinsFamily Reunion: A second cup

8th December 2012:
I feel very vindicated getting to hear (so to speak) Harry say to a Dursley that they locked him in a closet and tormented him. Ha! Take that, jerkwads. And when Harry says it shouldn't have mattered if he was important for them to treat him right - yes! Yeah I'm totally doing a righteous anger fist-pump here. I have the urge to start cussing like Samuel L Jackson but I'll refrain, since only about 40% of his vocabulary is 12+.

So aside from the overwhelming feeling of "Take that!" that this gave me, which I greatly enjoyed, it's extremely well written. Now, I know that's not a surprise or anything because everything you write is extremely well written, but it always bears saying. I really enjoyed your characterization of Harry. He was very much book!Harry and not movie!Harry. Love that. And Dudley, his evolving world view that we began to see in Deathly Hallows really came out fully here. Nicely done. Just overall really great stuff. I noticed a missing period at the end of the "different choices than the ones his parents had made" sentence but aside from that, I got nothin', no concrit here. Sorry. You'll just have to cope with being awesome all-around. ;)

By the way, it took me a while to find a chapter of yours to review for the swap, since I've already reviewed most of your stuff. lol. But you are one of the authors on my favorite author list, and I only keep 10 on there so I really do think you rock, y'know. :)

Author's Response: Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to your review. I always love hearing from you.

Random side note: I now have a strange urge to watch Snakes on a Plane...

I tried to write this story several times, and Harry kept coming out super bitter, so hopefully that's tempered a bit here. It's definitely more book!Harry than movie!Harry (I always enjoyed book!Harry's fiestyness and snark :)).

I'll have to try to find time to write more so you'll have more things to read in the future. I'm really falling behind on that, but I really appreciate you taking the time to find a story that you hadn't already read. And thank you so much for all of your lovely comments.


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Review #47, by momotwinsWe'll Be Missing You: Son, Brother, Hero

8th December 2012:
I was a little nervous to click on this cause I was sure you were going to make me cry and then I'd be off my stride to keep reviewing :p

You write really beautifully. It's simple and expressive and reads very smoothly.

I love that you used all the siblings for this perspective instead of only George. It's much more common to only see Fred's death through George's eyes, so it was refreshing to see the other Weasley brothers instead/as well. I really enjoyed Bill's scene. I also think having Bill and his fellow Curse-Breakers helping to clear up Hogwarts after the battle is a stroke of genius. It makes so much sense! In fact, it's so extremely logical that I can't believe I've never seen it before, you know? You are super creative and awesome for that.

Charlie is the most elusive of the Weasleys, since his only appearance in canon is so very brief, but you seem to have a good characterization for him from what we know. Thinking of Fred never getting to see his brother work with dragons made me very sad. And poor Perce and his guilt. Ack sad. Stop it, I have makeup on today and I refuse to cry. I'm glad you didn't make Percy cuss, I think it would have been out of character for him. You did well with him, he's very sympathetic.

And because I love that you used all the siblings, I'm also glad that you didn't dwell on George. He gets about the same amount of space as the others, and I really like that (even though I like to dwell on George's perspective myself). What's the significance of July 7th? I feel like I should know it but I'm drawing a blank. And here goes my dwelling on George: his wanting to just lay next to his brother, that is so true emotionally to me. You know I have twin boys, and they are always all over each other - they sit on the couch all tangled up, sleep all cuddled up (even when we put them in separate bunks at bedtime, they climb into each other's bed), they really have no personal boundaries that way, it's much different than just siblings. Twins are a whole different ball game, really.

I adored Ron. And the brief hint of George/Angelina from him was sweet. But Ron was excellent, and that Hermione was with him and talked to Fred too. Love. Do you write Romiones? I need to read some Romione from you now. I'm just saying.

And finally, I like that Ginny's appearance was a bit different from her brothers'. Being the only Weasley girl, she's going to interact differently with her brother than the brothers do amongst themselves. Makes lots of sense (ah logic, how I love it). Now, I'm not so sure Ginny would really be mad at Harry as he did save all of them from Voldy in addition to personally saving both her and her dad from imminent death, but I get where you're coming from with that particular emotion and you carried it off perfectly. It was very believable. Also Harry was perfect. And Molly and Arthur are love.

I did see some typos. A few of them:
imaging they were drinking their tea together = should be imagining
Rose's forth was two months ago = should be fourth

Lovely story, really well done. Very sweet, adored the details on the grandkids, it's just perfect. I managed not to cry, since you ended on such a lovely hopeful note. Really beautiful!

Author's Response: Hi WTM! Thank you so much for your compliments about my writing. I flew straight to cloud 9 with that ♥

I love that between the Wesley bunch, there's someone who can do just about anything. Oh curses around Hogwarts? Call Bill the cruse breaker! A dangerous creature?? Well my brother Charlie works with dragons, he can take care of it. They're just so diverse.

Charlie has earned the role if wizarding world cowboy in my head. He's rough around the edges, and would choose his animals over a girl any day. I'm half in love with him :P

Hahah I wish I could tell you something cool for July seventh. But really in my head, Molly came up with it because it was the 7th month on the 7th day, and opening shop back up is like honoring the brother they no longer have to complete the 7 children. Yeah.. No awesome canon secrets.. Haha

Two of the boys I work with are twin 5 yr olds. These little guys are so awesome together. But I've never been with them in just the comfort of their own space, really. So knowing I got the feeling right of these two just being so close and George wanting to be by his brother means so much to me. And I can't even imagine how hard Fred's death hit you with your own little F and G's :(.

Haha I absolutely don't write Romiones. Not because I don't love them, I really do. But the Weasley family terrifies me. Maybe one day.. Have you read anything by Athene Goodstength? That's who this piece was written for, and that girl will fill you with Weasley feels like no one's business.

I'm so happy you liked this, and your review was such a pleasant treat. I feel like one of those teenage girls at a concert, then the yummy man signing (preferably Blake Shelton) touches her hand and she goes into fan girl crazy feels. So, basically right now you're my Blake Shelton :P

Ps! I did this all from my iPhone. If there are any weird typos, blame auto correct!

Jami


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Review #48, by momotwinsTaking Initiative: Taking Initiative

8th December 2012:
Hi there! I've never read any of your stories before, but I couldn't resist a Molly/Arthur :)

Molly asking Arthur out was very sweet. Her nervousness and his blushing were very in character I think, and Molly's reluctance to ask a boy out rings true, for teenagers in the 1960s especially. I liked Molly pining for him with her friend too, that was cute.

If you want some concrit (and if you don't, feel free to ignore this paragraph), be careful of your punctuation. You have several places with extraneous commas or incorrectly used punctuation.

Very cute little story, good job! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review. I really appreciated when I'm given some concrit as I feel it definitely helps me improve so your constructive criticism was much appreciated.

Punctuation has never been my strong point but hopefully I'm getting better with using it correctly.

Thanks again,
Charlie


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Review #49, by momotwinsDon't Lose Me: Don't Lose Me

8th December 2012:
I can't believe you have a Molly/Arthur and I hadn't reviewed it. I was sure I had, I know I read it back when you posted it cause I remember talking about it with you, but I looked through and don't see my name on the reviews so winning, I can review it now ;)

I like that you portrayed neurological disorders as uncurable by magic. I think it fits with canon, where they can try to make magical brain injuries better but can't just instantly fix them. And while I hate hate hate my darling Arthur having Alzheimer's, you certainly did a fantastic job writing about it. My grandfather had Alzheimer's for the last few years of his life, so I have seen it up close and personal.

Of course Arthur would want to take the Muggle meds. That's so him. But it's so sad to see him fading away, and Molly there with him suffering because he's gone but not gone. And the moments of lucidity will come less and less often (I feel like that's grammatically inexact, but you get me) until he's completely gone. And now I want to cry thinking about it. Poor Molly, she's just not able to keep up with this at her age, she needs help. Taking away his wand seems like a good idea, even if it is a hard thing for him.

Also I love the way Ron refers to Scorpius XD Made me laugh.

Ron's right that they shouldn't be home alone, it's too much for Molly to deal with. And ack, when Arthur describes Molly's pregnancy with Ron and says they're hoping for a girl. Awkward. Poor Ron.

If I can offer something here: his thin, wane smile It should be "wan", not "wane". :)

I'm never surprised to see a staffer write wonderfully. We get the best of the crop (and then shove them in the queue to read things that burn out their eyes, but that's beside the point). So I'm not surprised at how good this is. It's so very sad and poignant. *sigh* I wish there was a way to make Arthur better. But that would wreck the emotional point of the story. Yeah. Very well done!

Author's Response: I thought you had read it too!

The fact that neurological disorders can't be cured is like my own personal little canon that I created for myself. To me, it makes sense. It was heartbreaking for me to do that to Arthur, but it's realistic and it's really something that a lot of people don't write about, but something a lot of people can identify with.

I still get really sad when I read it. I suck. :P

Thanks so much for stopping by to read this, though, I really truly appreciate it very much!


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Review #50, by momotwinsMerry Go Round: Merry Go Round

8th December 2012:
Hey you! I picked this one since it has the least reviews of the stories on your page, but I'm tackling the Life & Biscuits story next because I've always wanted to read that one (seriously, I've had it bookmarked for a while now but haven't gotten around to it yet). It has thousands of reviews though and this only has 8 so I'm giving this one some love first.

Anyway down to business: this is a really well-written piece, and the style you chose for the writing and formatting really enhances it. You can feel her downward spiral and her loose grip on her sanity, hopeful and despairing and lost at the same time. It's very sad. I find myself hoping someone will help her, because she's clearly making poor life choices left to her own devices. Where's her mom? lol.

Here's the only CC I can come up with: in this sentence - his name slapped on a front of another tabloid, you want to say "slapped on the front of" rather than "a front of", for a more natural-sounding idiom. That's it, that's all I've got ;) The rest is great and I can't say anything but good about it. Good flow, good emotions, good description, it's just good stuff! Amazing how you can pull that off in such a small word count. *throws things at you* You are winning.

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