This is really beautiful. I love the twist at the end. I started to guess Lysander might be in love with Lily when he first reacted to Lorcan's confession. I must also compliment you on the title. I absolutely love it, and it's what first drew me in. And the ending... it starts out as sort of funny and light, then suddenly gets very dark. It's very ambiguous, as it had me wondering whether Lysander had actually killed Lorcan, or just left him there unconscious. And I sort of like that... The reader can sort of decide for him or herself.Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I do hope that you enjoyed the piece! I honestly have no idea how I came up with the title, but I, too, love it. It's nice to have a reader/reviewer that grasps the meaning of the piece, the overall mood. Thank you for the review! :]] Report Review
Brilliant. That's all I have to say. Sodding brilliant.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D Report Review
I adore this story! I usually don't have time to read fanfics, but this one caught my eye and I had to check it out. I love the character you've made Rose out to be- very crazy and lovable. And it's great, for once, to have a story where the girl is crazy about the guy, and not vice-versa. Because this one is more realistic, anyway. Awesome story!Author's Response: haha thanks so much! it's really great that you took the time to read it =]
and yes, i think it's nice to see a change in how the girl interacts with the guy.
thanks again for reviewing and keep checking back for updates! Report Review
Awww, this is so miserable! I think the thing I love most about your story is how human the characters are. Like Rose- she definitely has flaws. She IS incredibly self-absorbed and likes attention... but she's still a good person and an amazing mother and you just want her to win in the end. And Daisy isn't some horrible bitch- she's a good person, too... which makes you hate her even MORE for being with Scorpius. And then, of course, the man of the story is incredibly annoying yet so irresistable... I love your characters, basically. And your story. I really, really want them to end up together at the end, but I fail to see how it's going to work. xD I hope it does, though. I'll be reading! Thanks for writing this. Report Review
This was a brilliant chapter! I really liked it. The way you described the silence was really good imagery; how the other sounds bounced off the walls and echoed in her head, and such. I loved the stare-off, too. Leah seems to be doing pretty well for herself! And the other three! Hilarious, braiding Remus' hair. Genius. Thanks so much for writing the chapter! I really enjoyed it. You asked if Leah was boring, but I don't think so. I mean, she's not a facinating character, but how many interesting personalities are there ni the world? She's very realistic, yet she has her own original spin, too. The way she really respects muggles, even though she isn't muggleborn, and her sudden curiosity, and how she isn't this super-steel woman who isn't nervous at all, yet she isn't this shy little girl who can't talk without stutter... a nice, even balance. And her conversation topics were pretty interesting. Bringing Charlie and the Chocolate Factory into it was hilarious. I'd love to see her say something completely random to get a good reaction out of him. If she was just really unpredictable, it'd be funny to watch if Sirius actually started to take an interest. Thanks, again, for writing this. Loved it. Good luck with the next! Report Review
You're amazing! And I'm not just saying that, either. You're so awesome that you took a very over-used idea and made it very unique! Firstly- Rose is a great character. She's not perfect, as you point out her bushy hair, and her thoughts are hilarious. Secondly, Scorpius is a git. As he should be. Thirdly, your writing is just brilliant in general. It flows really, really well and is really entertaining. Fourthly, the ending is priceless! And very unexpected. Perfect! So... this is definitely an 11/10. Go write more fanfictions. Or a puppy will die.Author's Response: *coughBIASED!cough*
XD love you! Report Review
I really love this story! I saw it when I was scrolling through the Dobby nominations and saw it quite a bit. It's a really unique idea, and I love how well set-up it is! All the characters are characterized really well, and you've introduced us to a whole bunch without really overwhelming us. I'll definitely be keeping up-to-date. I can't wait to see where the story goes! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks for popping over to take a look at this story! I appreciate you taking the time to leave a review, too. And I'm very glad to hear that all the characters haven't been overwhelming -- I know I was throwing a lot out there right away, but I had to stay true to their dynamic with each other. Anyway, thanks for the comments, and I do hope you enjoy future chapters! Report Review
Brilliant! I really, really like the chapter. It's just... too amazing for words. It seems very, very real. And it's very refreshing to have a story that isn't focussed entirely on the trio or the marauders or the next generation kids from the epilogue. I can't wait until you update! Keep being fabulous. It shouldn't be too hard. :PAuthor's Response: Aww thank you Lizzy dear! I always used to write trio fanfics, and they never turned out very good...so I figured I'd try something new! I'm glad it seems to be working...Thaaank you so much! Report Review
You need a shrine.
End of.Author's Response: Haha, I dont think so!! Thanks so much! :D Report Review
BRILLIANT story! I've been meaning to read it for ages! I love it so much- it is probably the most original story I've ever read! And not because the idea of a guy using a girl for something is new- because it's not! But you added a twist- you didn't write to please the public- you wrote to show us how REAL life works. Because stories don't always end up happily ever after! This is the farthest fanfic from a cliché I've ever read. It takes a really strong author to deny their protagonist what they really want. Most stories would end up with Sirius falling for Ellie and them ending up together- coviniently stopping the story before the end of the year, when they would obviously have to break up to get Sirius to his canon, single status. But not you! I loved the foreshadowing, too! I definitely saw it coming! And I love Ellie's thoughts- they're very deep. Her insecurities were SO real! How sometimes, she'd let herself think she deserved Sirius and there must've been SOMETHING about her, and then something would happen to make her doubt everything. And when she was thinking all those thoughts that overwhelmed her and made her pass out, I felt dizzy and overwhelmed too! Someone said it was slow-paced, but that FIT. Because it went fast enough to keep me interested, but it was slow, and there weren't any really exciting plot twists or anything- just like REAL life. I think this story only hits home for a few people. Because it really is real life! But a lot of people don't like reading about real life- since we have to live in it. I have to admit- I'm normally one to read the clichéd, happy-ending stories! It gives me that feel-good feeling. Yours is sort of a bittersweet ending- but I like it. I really do. It's a work of art! More than just a fanfiction. And I love how it was short. It's perfect- because Ellie's relationship with Sirius was short too. And you ended it wonderfully- leaving it open for our imaginations. You didn't give her the one thing she wanted- but you gave her something. I love it! Thank you so much for writing this. Brilliant.Author's Response: Woo, long review! Thank you very much for taking the time to read the whole thing - it's great to get the reviews from people who went straight through. It's totally different from those who review each chapter because they include a general picture of things that's so helpful to get. ^_^
So yes, onto the review. :D It's definitely supposed to go against the norm in these types of stories. When you think of it canonically, Sirius can't get together with a girl, because then you have to kill her off or otherwise get rid of her (which leads to OotP reunion stories, another cliche :P) It's so great that you liked how it was different. =D And you caught the foreshadowing, which some people missed, and thus made them upset. So yes, you're the ideal reader. ^_^
Ellie turned out more disturbingly realistic than I first intended. She's not like me, but I don't know, she's very much the awkward adolescent girl, very uncertain of herself and far too trusting. ;) The realism is important in the story, perhaps the most important part, and it's just fantastic that you enjoy it so much.
Thank you so much, once again! I really appreciate this review, it's just amazing. ^_^ Report Review
THIS IS BRILLIANT! I was so excited to see that you updated, and it just happened to be the day after I got all caught up- so I was really excited! I really can't wait for the next chapter- this story really is addicting! I'll be checking back every day for an update! Brilliant chapter- I love your sense of humor and the realism. The party was great, too. And the Jenny-Ginny thing. I died... it was brilliant. Thanks so much for writing this! Report Review
This was absolutely spectacular! I LOVED this chapter! (and the last five, which I just got done reading) I really love your writing style! It's so funny yet heart-wrenching at the same time! Bittersweet and so realistic and... too amazing for words! I love everything, and how you have all those little plots and conflicts inside the major one, and how they get resolved and then something brings them about again, or a new conflict arises- (I LOVE the Lily/Lorcan/Lyssander thing!) And I love how you wrote this last bit with Rose thinking about how she'd never be coming back! It's so real yet so sad- everyone wants you to come up with a magic soluation and have her be able to come back to school and be a kid again, but it's not going to happen, and Rose is realizing it and accepting it! And you show her growing up so well! Like when she was mad at Scorpius, but she didn't hex anything, but counted to ten and breathed slowly- it showed her maturing! And how Scorpius and her are only friends- yes, it tore a bunch of people up- me inculded. But it really is very realistic. Because they have enough responsibility, and a serious relationship would probably just add on that much more stress. But I think they'll get there in the end. ;) I think an epilogue would be more interesting than a sequel- and I really, really love this story! BRILLIANT. Report Review
Oh, wow! This chapter was great! It was short, but sweet. I really like the story- I love how the 'evil' child was the one who cared about the owl. I've actually always wondered that myself. :P I really love the dialague between the three friends- it's very entertaining. Scorpius is funny too. I'm excited to see what the next chapter brings. This is amazing for a first fanfic! :DAuthor's Response: thanks! ur review just made my day! halaan's actually very caring towards animals (she and i are environmentals and green childs) and stuff. thanks, i was cracking up so much when i wrote this chapter because scorpius was so funny! *grins from ear to ear* that's such an amazing compliment! i really am honored! i will try my hardest in this fanfic and my next chapter will be great! (i hope)
thanks again!!!!! Report Review
Very good first chapter. It seemed a bit rushed, but still interesting. I like how you wrote it from a Slytherin's point of view, and the adopted Malfoy ending up as her brother was an interesting twist! I didn't see it coming. As for advice... maybe take things a bit slower. You seemed really anxious to make Blake and Halaan friends, but it worked out alright. And... it sounds very American. Not a bad thing (I'm American) :P But this is Britain, so I don't think they would use the same terminology. But it's very hard for someone who isn't British to write like that, and I liked your story anyway. :D Great job.Author's Response: thank you for reviewing, i didn't even think anyone would, you're my first reviewer! - thanks for the comments, i will put all of it to consideration and edit the next chapter! and thanks again for the third time!
p.s. i am american, and i just like writing sorta-british better, i guess! :D Report Review
This made me cry! It was so beautifully written, and it just flowed so easily. It was short and bitter-sweet, but just the right length. It was long enough to be a good length, but didn't drag on. I loved how she wanted to be with her family. It was so realistic, especially how you had her just sort of give up the will to live and 'go to sleep' holding her loved ones so close. It was so amazing... and realistic... and it really captured the whole experience of losing loved ones. I also loved how her hope wouldn't die. I loved the metaphor of the candle in her heart too... such a great image! Especially with the 'flickering'... I could just picture that. *dies* 10/10! I can't wait until you put up another story! :D I'll definately read it!Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you so much!! Report Review
Aw... but what's wrong with her? Poor Teddy! Poor Victoire! Aw... great chapter, though. It's been a while! :D But it's so worth it. Report Review
Wow, this was an amazing chapter! I like how you had them dominate at rugby, but then had them kicked off, which explained Dudley's gained weight. This is awesome! I really did like it, and I can't wait until Dudley FINALLY gets interested in girls! It'll be amusing! I also liked how Piers got jealous of the new gang members- you're really characterizing everyone really well. Fabulous chapter, and I can't wait for the next!Author's Response: Oh wow, looks like I can do no wrong!!! Thank you soo much! I'm glad for my characterizations!!! And I'm glad you liked. I'm going to start the next chapter soon, but I will not be up untill after the queue opens. Report Review
No! You didn't mess it up, are you crazy? I LOVED IT! This is such an amazing story! I was sqeeing through practically the entire chapter, and jumping up and down, and yelling at the computer, and dancing... then I remembered I was in a public library.
10/10Author's Response: Haha, thank you so much! I love when I get a nice squee every now and then (especially if it IS in a public library.) I've definitely done that. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Report Review
Ooh, I liked the story! I normally don't read Slytherin fanfics, but I thought it'd be fun to read the 50,000th story, and I actually stumbled upon a good one! I love how you wrote Pansy and how your story just kind of flows. Well done!Author's Response: Why, thank you!!! I couldn't quite believe this was the 50,000th story at first--I was so taken aback! It's been such an experience joining this site, and it only just occurred to me that I've contributed to that story count, the review count, the read count ... It's all so amazing and overwhelming I can barely take it in!
I'm so happy you liked my portrayal of Pansy. She's a hard character to perfect, so writing this story I really tried my hardest to keep her in canon and make her seem as if she did have a soul (because, despite what Hermione says, I really do think she does. Her devotion to Draco Malfoy, of all people, is just one example of that [that she has a soul, I mean xP])
Thank you for reading and reviewing, and I'm so happy you liked it!! Report Review
I love it! The change of the point of view is so well done! And I love how you made the only reason that Dudley laughed about the dog chasing Harry was because of the joke. :P I really, really love this story! I can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: I'm sooo glad! Thanks sooo much, like usual!!! I was re-reading the chapters Dudley was in, and I was trying to figure out how to position Dudley in a better light.
Thanks again!!! Report Review
Ha ha ha ha ha- that is so hilarious! At first, when he was confused about Lily staring, I thought she was looking at a boy or something. Aw, Arielle and Al! And James so likes Bliss! James so likes Bliss! Brilliant story, and keep writing! :DAuthor's Response: I have previously responded to this review. I believe that there is some glitch within HPFF that has made this review, and 91 other ones of mine, become "unanswered". I am sorry for the inconvenience. Report Review
"sauve sex gods" hmmm... that line sounds familiar. *grins* Nice story, Lex. I like it best out of all yours so far. Not too many grammar mistakes either.Author's Response: Thank you Lizzy. It means a lot come from the Freak! =] And I had to borrow that line. Sorry. Love you lots! =] Report Review
I love it! The diary was a really nice touch! I'm glad you finally got this up, though. I've been waiting! Ha ha ha, I do love that eraser-clapping part, and the Dennis Creevey part! *laughs hysterically* And the song was a fantastic idea! Anyway- more!Author's Response: Thank you sooo much! I'm glad you liked the diary. I wasn't even expecting it, but I got the idea and liked it. I had fun with Dennis-he's a great character.
Like I said in anouther review, the que is going to be closed soon, but if I can get anouther chapter up during spring break I will! Report Review
Aw. That is so sad!!! Poor, poor, poor Bliss! Aw... beautifully written. A million bajillion out of ten!Author's Response: : P I know, but it makes for a better plot! I'm happy you enjoyed it! Report Review
OMG! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME HANGING LIKE THAT? But I am so glad that you updated- this story is brilliant. I cannot wait until the next chapter! I love this story- I know I've said it a million times, but I can't stop... it's so brilliant! 10gazillion/10!Author's Response: Yeah, the chapter was getting pretty long so I decided to end it. I'm nearly done with next chapter, though. I'm sort of confused because I'm not sure if this queue closure applies to trusted authors or not. Either way, I think I'll use the break to catch up on some writing, so the next chapter probably will not be up until after the queue reopens. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection