Dominique is a whirlwind to Ignotus' conventioned world, isn't she? I like the fact that he is overcoming some of his apprehensions and daring to do some things that are viewed as morally incorrect for this time. And Dom doesn't notice anything, which I found really funny for some inexplicable reason!
Again, you wrote an introspection of Cadmus brilliantly, and again, his discovery and use of the stone were not something expected, but hugely enjoyed.
Also, I must tell you again that I find your chapter images beautiful (and of course I hope to see one of Dominique and Ignotus soon)!Author's Response: She sure is! I try to work off that fact as to why they are so drawn to one another!
And thank you! I know. Honestly, these chapter images are so beautiful. Props to the artist at TDA!
Thanks again for your splendid review! Report Review
Oh, so it moves on!
So much happens in this chapter, I'll just go higgledy-piggledy about my favourite parts...
Ignotus starting to use bits of Dom's vocabulary, Fleur and Bill's reaction, Ignotus asking Dominique on a date...
And of course, he is to be married. I should have expected this, I really should have, yet I continued to hope blissfully for a free path towards a happy ending.
I'll see where this goes, I suppose!Author's Response: Yes, a full chapter! I'm glad you're all right with the mixing of their times. That's kind of my ultimate goal. They're both different in aspects of their own world, and yet their differences collaborate and bring them closer in the end. Glad to see this is good to you!!
Yes, to be married! We will have to see where that goes. :)
Thanks so much! Report Review
Thus begins the bloody history of the Elder Wand. Dun dun dun!
It's really interesting, again, to see Ignotus and Dom confront their views of society and language habits.
However, my favourite part of the chapter is the foray (is that a word?) into other characters' thoughts. I'd never really wondered about Cadmus using the Stone, so this came as a nice surprise and extremely well written part of the chapter.Author's Response: Hahah dun dun dun! I'm glad that was your favorite part. In a way it's mine too. As I look back, I wish I had focused more on him as well because I think his story is truly devastating but fascinating all the same.
Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Wow, this is moving fairly fast!
Tyrion was a lovely addition to the story. I've finally managed to define what makes me appreciate this story so much: it's the fact that we are discovering the real Peverell brothers, not the fairytale alter ego we know about, at the exact same time as Dominique does.
I'm really excited to move on to the next chapter, particularly with the cliffhanger you left us!Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm so glad to hear all of this. I was really surprised that I think this is the one and only story on the site about the Peverell brothers on the site. Their story fascinates me, and I was so surprised that I was the first to even write about the Deathly Hallows thing!
I hope the plot isn't moving too fast for you! Thanks once again! Report Review
One thing that should be commented on is, most definitely, the care you put into making Igntotus and Jocasta's way of speaking archaic, which out of experience can be horribly difficult, but you manage the job extremely well!
The clash between both eras is also brilliantly done, the confusion at the discovery of each other's traditions clear, yet not something impossible to surpass.
The more I read this, the more I like it!Author's Response: Yaay!! I really can't tell you how much you're making my day right now! Thank you! I've really struggled with the dialogue and trying to portray the time, and I've come across a few mistakes here and there, but I guess some are expected.
Thank you!! :D Report Review
Oooh, how odd! That doubling of invisibility cloaks really got me thinking about the effect of time travel on objects. What happens if Ignotus' cloak is destroyed? Does Harry's continue to exist? Do they both have exactly the same properties? It was an interesting question in any case!
Also, I'm really relieved that Dominique immediately said the truth, instead of keeping secrets like authors make their characters do -- it's excruciatingly irritating for the readed.
Here's to another great chapter, in any case!Author's Response: Ah! Thank you once again! Such interesting questions! It's questions like these why I love to read/write original time travel stories! They really fascinate me, and I'm glad I've raised some questions for you! :)
Thanks again for the review! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Report Review
This is such an original idea! I love the way you wrote the tale of the three brothers from their point of view, and the way you wrote Death.
The interaction between Dominique and Harry was also very well done, and it's obvious that he trusts her, and she trusts him, which I really like because I think Dom tends to be portrayed as a stupid blonde.
Really interested to see where you take this!
By the way, I think your chapter image is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen!Author's Response: Ah! Thank you so much for your review! (and the nine others I see!! I can't wait to read them!) But thank you! I'm glad you like my portrayal of Dominique. I've quite often seen the same thing, or a blonde who steals Teddy away from Victoire, and I was looking to do something different! I'm glad you like it!
Thank you so much!
And ahh. That chapter image. It is AMAZING. Lucie is a phenomenal artist.
Thanks again! :) Report Review
I have to be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect! I mean, this had Dom so I almost dismissed it for being a 'Next-Gen' but I got curious and then I saw that it had the Peverell brothers in it ...so I just now had to read it! XD
Let me just point out that your chapter image is fantastic and that I'm a fan of all those three gents and their characters. Not to diss Ned Stark (Sean Bean) but Henry Cavill and Michael Vartan as he was in the Mists of Avalon's (my favorite book of all time) Sir Lancelot...*drool* So yeah.LOVED that image!
Anyway! Enough fangirling over the gentlemen. Lets get ready to tackle this story now! :D
I'm a huge fan of the dialogue! The way they speak feels like old, proper English without adding the 'thou', 'thee', 'thy' and 'thine'. Their characterization was fantastic as well. As I read it, I could tell that each brother had different personalities instead of a shared one. I have a question though; did Cadmus have a son with Seraphine out of wedlock? Kind of naughty of him, hahaha, especially when it comes to the age of chivalry. However, the Peverell family must continue in a way...Anyway, continuing on with the Brother's personalities. They honestly felt like real people to the point that I wish I could meet them. Specially Cadmus who is the most angsty of them all.
The setting and imagery was fantastic. I was able to picture everything you mentioned and it had me glued; especially when Death made his appearance. He seemed like a very frightening creature by being 'kind' to the three brothers. The one who stroke me as the best character was Antioch because you managed to grasp his greed for power without feeling too overwhelming and too murderous. The movie and book made it sound like he was a Dark Wizard but you gave him a somewhat softer personality while still power-hungry.
Even though we know the Tale of Three Brothers it was refreshing to actually see it played out instead of just a tale from a book. Does that make sense? It gave me, as a reader, a whole other perspective about the whole situation. You reaffirm and made it believable to me that they did indeed meet Death along their journey rather than what Dumbledore said: that they were just smart and powerful wizards.
When I got to Dom's part I just couldn't stop laughing. Mostly because I'm being a tad bit like Victoire right now when it comes to a wedding. You definitely managed to capture a bride that has no idea of what she wants and driving those around her insane. Poor Dom. Hahaha.
I've never seen her, however, being part of the Aurors so its very refreshing to see a different Dominique instead of the usual 'damsel in distress' that I tend to come across sometimes. Her relationship with her cousins, however, struck me as a bit of a cliche, however that's just my opinion, so please don't take offense by it! I guess I've read way too many Next-Gen fics where at least one of the cousins is always the 'outsider' which usually lead to a Mary-Sue personality. Your Dominique, though, feels well rounded to me thus far so I'm not worry about a Mary-Sue character right now.
Overall, the story really does sound original and if you're worried if it's believable or not...I wouldn't worry. In real life we know that if we mix the wrong chemicals, we'll get very bad outcomes...so why not potions? It works and I really like it! It's not too out there for me, so no worries! :)
Seriously...I can't find anything to CC aside from what I said about the personal feeling of cliche. You have absolutely no grammar, punctuation or flow issues. Overall, this is a fantastic great first chapter. Especially at the end where you leave the reader wanting to know what happens next to Dominique!
So yeah...feel free to re-request if you wish! :D
Until next time
--Rosie/PerelandraAuthor's Response: Ack! Thank you so much for this review! It really means a lot to me! You were so incredibly helpful.
When I read it, I was seriously so excited! So lengthy and so helpful! You really did help me get rid of some of my fears for this story. Honestly, my biggest fear was getting the time right, but you really helped calm my nerves with that.
Thank you SO SO much with that review! I may have to come re-request from you sometime soon! Thanks again! :D Report Review
You're developing the story excellently, and the tension between Ignotus and Dominique in this chapter was well written. They have this strange understanding between them that's unspoken and, I think for the most part, is something they don't quite understand. I don't blame her for needing time to think. Although there's much that she could safely reveal about the "Tale of the Three Brothers", she has to be careful in case she accidentally says too much. It's actually refreshing to see a main character who takes the time to sit back and think before launching into something - it lends itself perfectly to her job as an Auror. Another important point is that Ignotus doesn't press her for the answers even though he's burning to know. It's part of an intriguing dynamic between them that, alongside the plot, really make the story a success.
The last two scenes were perfectly done, with a lot of emotion, be it anger or grief, expressed in a realistic, moving way. That scene at the end... wow. You only give a snapshot of Cadmus, but you put a lot into it: the descriptions, the sadness, the foreshadowing, all fantastic. The first part of this chapter wasn't at the same level, including more telling than was necessary - there's too much plain action there (he did this, then that, then this, etc.), but you quickly made up for it in the rest of the chapter. :)
There were two other little things that stood out to me in this chapter that you might want to take a look at. Herfordshire is a county, not a village, so I don't know if it was intentional to name the village that, or if you meant the larger geographical area instead. The second was the use of the word "hunch", which didn't come into use until the 20th century, so it wouldn't be appropriate for this historical period.
Otherwise, this was another great addition to your story. I'm getting more excited about the plot and characters with each chapter I read. Beyond the canon facts, I have no idea where you're going to take this, and that makes the reading experience more fun - I love it when authors take stories in new directions and do something amazingly different. :DAuthor's Response: Ahh! Susan! Thank you so much for your review! You really make my day when you come drop off wonderful things like this.
I'm really glad you're enjoying it. Truly. And thank you so much for that input. Haha, I actually had no idea about the Hertfordshire thing. I know nothing about the geographical aspects in the Europe area, especially in the 1200s. And thanks with that input on "hunch."
Thank you so much for all your help! I do find that I still come across some difficult aspects when trying to write this time period. Thanks for helping me straighten them out, and thanks for leaving the awesome review! :) Report Review
Wow, what a way to end the chapter! One thing I love about your writing style is that you're brilliant at action and fast-paced scenes. There was a fantastic breathlessness of the brothers' ride to their brother's aid. Additionally, I like the way that they are both still loyal to Antioch even though they know what kind of person he has become - his corruption has not affected their blood ties, which suits the historical period as well as the Potterverse as a whole, in which bonds of blood have an incredible impact on each character's actions.
Another great aspect of this chapter is that you don't make it explicit what happened to Antioch. There are hints, but you never outright say that Antioch was killed because of the elder wand even though the other two brothers know that's the case. The elder wand lurks in the back of the reader's mind, and becomes a more powerful object as a result. I don't know if you meant to do that or if it's just me over thinking things, but you've added a strong cloud of mystery around the three brothers' gifts from Death that really enhances the atmosphere of the story.
Ignotus is in a difficult position regarding Dominique and the cloak, too, and it was wonderful how you gave him that moment of internal conflict - it made him a more interesting character, and I look forward to see how you'll develop him further.
There was just one line that I was having trouble with in this chapter: It had a braid in the front and was pinned back. This description of the servant's hair was awkward. Perhaps you instead meant "he had a braid"?
This was an excellent chapter! I'm glad to be revisiting this story, and I'm eager to continue reading to see how you're going to work through all of the problems you've set forth thus far. There's so much you can do with this story - it's definitely one of the most creative stories on the archive. :DAuthor's Response: Susan! Thank you so much! Really your reviews make my day. They are so beneficial for me because, really, sometimes I feel like I don't know what I'm doing with this at all. Really, I don't, and then you step in and save the day!
And thanks for pointing that out to me! Definitely a mess up that I must have missed. :P
Thank you SO MUCH for that compliment! And also, thank you for nominating this story for Best Unusual/AU ship! It means THE WORLD to me! :) Report Review
I fully believed i would never read a story that was based on time travel, because i have always liked stories that generally stick to the ideas J.K Rowling had. However after reading yours i take it back, this is a great story that is written really well. I cannot wait for the next chapter! :)Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much! I'm so glad to hear it. I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and thank you for the review. I really hope to see you back for future chapters. Report Review
I love this story! It is so unlike all the other ones I have read and doesn't follow the cliché loud, outgoing Dominique is accidentally sent back with a time turner! Genuinelly a great storyline and plot and made the story of the Peverell brothers seem so much more realistic instead of just a fable which is really interesting :) thanks for writing it, I can't wait to read the rest:)Author's Response: Ah thank you! I was really shooting for doing something original, and I'm so glad to hear that you're enjoying it and finding it interesting. I hope to see you back for future chapters! :) Report Review
Why oh why did she have to be so lovely?Author's Response: I know, I know. :) All the reasons will come in good time! Thanks so much for another review, and thanks for always being such a faithful reader and reviewer. Report Review
So sad, but amazing as always. I love the relationship you've developed between Ignotus and Dominique. On edge to find out her reaction to his marriage! Thanks so much for updatingAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your kind review! Especially after my drastically long wait between chapters. I really can't express how much that means to me. Thanks so much for remaining loyal and I hope these chapters are living up to your expectations! I hope to see you back for future chapters. Thanks again. :) Report Review
Oooh another amazing chapter! Made awful by the fact he is to marry someone else :(
I don't think you're moving too fast at all. After all, much of the story has built up to that moment, so to me it felt right.
Thanks for sharing another amazing chapter, you're a great writer.Author's Response: I know. :( It sucks, I'm sorry.
But thank you for reassuring me with the pace of the story! I really don't want it to feel like it's moving too fast, but I do feel like there is a time when things do move too slow.
Thanks so much for that compliment! And once again, thanks for the review! You're great! :) Report Review
Another WELL DONE chapter. I love this story, so please continue updating it! Another down (maybe?) :( And Cadmus fancied Dominique, I sort of saw that coming but was a bit startled when he 'revealed' it.
'Another woman deserves your love; give it to her and she will cherish it.' That line really popped out at me. I wonder if it becomes part of the story?
And I wonder what will become of Lady Brigid and Ignotus? Report Review
Oh my god. Please update this as soon as possible.
This is such an amazing plot! The characters are so realistic! What a perfect fanfiction.
I love this already! Report Review
Gosh another amazing chapter. You're making me wish that Dominique never has to go home!
Speaking of which... how will she get home? Or will she help the Peverell line to reproduce ;) I hope so, because her and Ignotus are perfect!
Thank you so much for a brilliant story, I can't wait for the next chapter! Report Review
I absolutely love this story and I hope you will continue writing it. Report Review
Um... wow. *Looks at review counter for this chapter* No reviews? NO reviews?!? WHY are there no reviews for this chapter?!? :O I am appalled! (But I have to admit that the selfish part of me is kinda happy that I get to be the first review for this chapter!! YAY!) :)
I got an ominous feeling with the 'The search for Dominique... had begun' line. It's got me wondering what Harry's up to and where he'll go/what he'll do to try and find Dom. I wonder if his investigation is going to lead to any confusion/false accusations, etc. Oh, I can just imagine the drama now! *Giggles* That probably shouldn't make me as happy as it does!
I think we get a wonderful look into Dom's character here with the conversation about how she didn't really fit in at home. It was a very natural way to accomplish that; Dom actually TELLS the reader her thoughts and feelings, but she does so through a conversation with Ignotus, so it isn't too obvious that that's what's happening. Well done with that! (And with the whole chapter, of course! :P)
And can I just say that I rolled my eyes at Eirene? You've gotta love her, coming in at just the WRONG time with a "Surprise! You're getting married!" :P She's completely clueless to the fact that Ignotus and Dom are starting to have feelings towards each other (or maybe they aren't and I'm just imagining them because that's what my selfish reader's heart wants XD)
Another thought: Ignotus isn't angry with Dom because he knows that his brother was dead before she got there.. but I'm just wondering/slightly nervous about how he'll feel when Cadmus' fate unfolds. *Bites nails furiously*
Amazing chapter, dear! And I need MOAR pleez! ASAP! :) Report Review
Gah! So first of all, RIGHT after I hit the submit button on the last review, I realized I'd put the wrong brother's name... I put 'Cadmus' but I meant to put 'Antioch'! *Headdesk* Sorry for any confusion!
This chapter is very sad, but also angsty and high-strung; it's very emotional. A part of me wanted Dom to tell Ignotus everything, but a part of me knew that it might change history if she did; and that wouldn't be good.
Ignotus' description of how he feels after losing his brother is very realistic; I found myself nodding my head along with every word of that paragraph (even though the part about the 'hilt of the sword' doesn't really apply any more :P).
I fall more and more in love with this story (and Dom and Ignotus and even Harry's characterization, in particular) with each chapter! Great job! Report Review
*Shudders* I got chills when I read this... really. That's kind of silly since I knew it was going to happen, but still...
Your descriptions of the brothers' personalities and/or characterizations (Cadmus' in particular in this chapter) makes the reasons behind their (his) demise very believable and concrete. You've taken a short story that we were introduced to in the series and turned it in to a believable and amazing chaptered story (which I LOVE). It takes a lot of skill to take a story like the Tale of the Three Brothers and expand upon it, while still keeping it true to the original/canon, so WELL DONE! Report Review
You know, I really love how Harry is portrayed as the loving, caring Uncle/Boss here. It's very endearing, and it helps remind the reader that Harry's more than just a 'Savior', friend, father, husband, auror... it makes us remember how great of a person he is, too.
I think Ignotus' suspicion is very realistic as well, and it speaks to his character, also, that he's willing to give Dom shelter.
Again, you've done a wonderful job with writing the piece in the present/past; I love Ignotus' comments on Dom's speech. That's something I'd never have thought of as being an issue with a time-travel fic, so kudos to you for originality and for thinking of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING! :) Even how the gender roles were different back then (as shown in Ignotus' side-saddle comment)!
Amazing job! Report Review
Review attack!! :P Ah, the chapter where they first meet, and all the confusion and chaos that ensues! *Reminisces*
This was really well done as well, Drue! Everything was timed really well; Dom didn't immediately know what was going on... she didn't jump to conclusions and start panicking until she had reason to. Furthermore, she didn't believe what was going on at first either, which gave this a very realistic, true-to-life touch.
My favorite part was when they were standing in front of each other, and each of them put on their 'copy' of the Invisibility Cloak. I don't know why, but that part stood out to me for some reason; it was just really cute and I could almost SEE it happening, so amazing job with the description!
Another awesome chapter! 10/10! Report Review
Muahahahah! (Evil laughter) Told you I'd be back! :) I'm just sorry it's taken me this long to get back to review this!
Sooo I pretty much love everything about this chapter. (Well, the whole story, really, but this chapter is AMAZING!) You really did a GREAT job here of setting the scene for the rest of the story. I absolutely LOVE the characterization of all three of the brothers, as well as Dominique. I love how Vic is just so girly (and anything BUT simple), and Dom contrasts with that wonderfully.
You did an absolutely OUTSTANDING job with the Tale of the Three Brothers! You made everything fit time-wise; them riding their horses and all, and I really like how you explained that each brother has his own goals/motives for choosing the gift that he chose.
Everything flowed beautifully, and (that I can remember), I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors either. Amazing first chapter, dear! 10/10. Report Review
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