Reading Reviews for Before They Fall
  
833 Reviews Found

Review #26, by APerkins A Night of Surprises

24th August 2013:
Started reading cause it's been nominated for the dobby's
:) now I know why!

Loving it, well done!

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Review #27, by nott theodore Breaking Curfew

23rd August 2013:
Hello again!

Even though I said in my last review that I was looking forward to seeing the conversation between Belle and Sirius, I wasn't at all disappointed that you didn't. As soon as I started reading this chapter, I could tell that it definitely worked better this way, since we do already know what happened and there wouldn't have been much point repeating it all again! As always, you know exactly what's right to include in this story!

Sirius running away from Belle once she'd told him her secret actually makes a lot of sense to me... he doesn't deal very well with things like this, and even as an adult in the books we see him getting angry or going off on his own and being mopey about things. But of course Sirius wouldn't tell Belle why he was running off before he left, and so now I feel really sorry for her, because she's going to think that he's disgusted with her or something. I can understand his anger with hearing the news, and it's actually really sweet how protective he is of Belle - they need to get together!

Aw, Sirius and James! I really love the way that you write their friendship; they're so close and at times I feel like you're best friends with them too, you write them and understand them so well! I liked the mention of the way that they're both so stubborn that Remus and Peter have to act as mediators when they disagree, but in spite of all that they're always going to be there for each other if they can. I feel like James is probably one of the only people who could help Sirius work out his anger - and that Sirius would let push him like that.

Oh Sirius is going to take Belle a chocolate dessert to try and soften her up and make her smile! ♥

I loved Lily in this chapter! She's always portrayed as such a goody-two-shoes but I think that when it came to doing what was right, she wouldn't have been afraid to break rules to stand up for what she believed in. It was so brave of her standing up to the Slytherins when she was on her own - it would have been much easier to walk away and let them get away with it, but Lily's not the sort of person to do that.

I felt so sorry for little Polly in this chapter! I'm going to be so sad if you ever decide to be heartless and kill her off, because she's so cute! Mary was brave trying to stand up to the bullies as well, but she isn't as brave as Lily - and that's something that shows why Lily ended up joining the Order and actually taking a part in the fight.

The Slytherins... they kind of give me the creeps, to be honest. They're obviously the sorts of people who are going to end up as Death Eaters, but they aren't quite there yet. At this point, they're vile, nasty bullies and I really don't like them. Abigail's just (insert non 12+ word here), but at the same time she's a great character. So many stories seem to include very few female Death Eaters or pureblood sympathisers, and while there are only a few of them in canon, I think that there would definitely have been more - not every woman is going to sit at home like Narcissa seems to have done. Still, she's horrible and I don't like her at all. I hope she's not a prefect for too much longer!

Snape... I just can't make up my mind about him, but I'm definitely not his biggest fan and I'm far from a Snily shipper. I think here you showed why the two of them are incompatible anyway. Despite the fact that Snape tried to persuade the others to leave and walk away, he didn't do anything to stop them actually having a go at Lily. On the other hand, she's perfectly prepared to stand up for what's right and fight for it if she needs to. No matter how much he's meant to have loved her, he didn't have to stand with the side that hated anyone with her heritage and persecuted people who didn't agree with them. And really, if it hadn't been Lily that they were bullying, I don't think Snape would even have said anything at all - he'd have joined in with the others eagerly, probably. Okay, sorry - my musings on Snape are over for now!

I probably say this every time that he appears, but I'm so impressed by the way that you write Dumbledore. He's just so... Dumbledore-ish (yes, that is a word :P). I really liked the fact that Lily could feel his anger and sense him in the room before she actually saw him. It fitted with all we know about him from canon. The scene with McGonagall and Slughorn was brilliant as well - of course Minerva would have deducted points from her own house!

Another lovely chapter, m'dear!

Sian :)

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Review #28, by MissesWeasley123 The Order

23rd August 2013:
I thought I was going to be all sneaky and leave a review on the next chapter, but I just couldn't resist this one!

Minerva!
Minerva had said those words too many times to count, but each time they left her lips it was with the utmost sincerity. Never had she, nor would she, offer someone the comforts of her home without wishing them just that.

That is just, such a McGonagall worth sentence. That one just made me feel all warm on the inside, and again your amount and tender to your description is out of the world. If I could, I would quote each and every word of her perspective in her POV, because it was so well written!

I think by far this is my favourite chapter,it had everything! I love how they were re-assessing them and how you manged to find the good stuff about Peter! Wow. I was bouncing up and down in my seat because the Order's forming!!!

Again, you showed McGonagall's sentiments so well in the few concluding chapters of her point of view, I loved it - she truly is Head, but a mother too.

ALREK! EURGH. I still don't trust him! Why is James being a Gryffie... he should be like Sirius and show the Durmstrang boy the shoulder. Be gone!

I found nothing wrong, though I'm sure Moody has two normal eyes, and loses it after the attack on Frank and Alice, because during Karkaroff's trial, Harry saw in the pensieve that he has both eyes. Not a real biggie though, I know you added that bit about his eye whizzing because you wanted us to actually see the meeting, and only meant to give us description.

Ah, this chapter! :D I loved it!!
Nadia

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Review #29, by MissesWeasley123 Constant Vigilance

23rd August 2013:
Hello Jami! I managed to come back what with writing and over doing myself on the forums.. I do happen to be spending far too much time on that site. Bless it.

But what a chapter to return to! Well, two chapters, but you know what I mean :) I am determined to finish this before summer ends, just in time for the next installment of ADD (which has a beautiful banner, but you already know my views on that)

Ugh, Petunia. Ugh, ugh, ugh. There's not much I can say about her. That whole flashback was just cruel, seeing her hurt that poor kitten :( I'm glad that Lily sent her something though, maybe things will get a better due to her parents death. I assume they will, seeing as how we know that Petunia did once send them a vase in the near future.

I'm loving how you are now exposing the threats of war, the fact that it's happening , and we get to see what the Marauders are doing about it. They can't do much, but I love how they really are trying to take a stand of some sort.

I was literally shouting internally, "PETER'S A RAT, KILL HIM!!!" Though he isn't one at the moment, but he will become one and this is just making me despise him so much more... How dare he...

Haha, Shane! What a great dad. I think he is admirable, and I loved this quirkiness at the end of the letter! Sirius and Lily at the Potters! Yay! I can't wait!

Now, excuse me for leaving this review at such a short note, but I must go on and read more.

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Review #30, by Lunalovegoodlover7869 The Force That Drives Us

23rd August 2013:
I have never cried so much when a character died. These last two chapter have had me lose half the water in my body. This novel was INCREDIBLE and I have almost never been so moved by a story like this before. I can't wait to start #2, and thank you for such an amazing story to be able to feel apart of. Thanks again,
-Katie

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Review #31, by Prongs05JP Surviving the First Defy

20th August 2013:
So I've been away from reading James/Lily fanfiction for a while, a good year or two really, and this is pretty much the first one I've read in a while - and I have to say I'm totally astounded. By this whole fic, the writing, the characterizations; you have an incredible amount of talent and an amazing grasp on the Marauders and this whole era. I was planning on doing what I normally do, which is read all that's available and then leave a long review at the end, but I just had to drop a comment right now because the last sentence of this chapter really captured me. I mean, it looks simple and it is, and I have no idea if you intended it to have any deeper meaning, but I really read into it.
It just really sums up for me the whole attitude of all of them - the Gryffindors and the Slyherins alike, playing adult and getting involved in either side of the war when really, deep down, they are still just children. "But, for now, they weren't members of this war. They were all just her children." - exactly like Olivia thought. James and Lily can fight and curse but they're still just seventh years. Regulus can march around and try and control events to work in Voldemort's favour, but he's still just as much a child as the rest of them and the fact that he has his heart set on a racing broom and can still consider that a priority in his life is a huge testament to that; all the growing up they've still got to do.
I could honestly go on forEVER about the connotations of it and turn this into an English essay, and I can't say that happens everyday when reading fanfiction, haha! I don't know, this whole chapter really got to me in such a firstwizardingwarfeels way and I wanted to let you know that it's just SO superb.
I look forward to reading the rest, and good job! :)

Author's Response: Hi there :)!! Sorry for how long this response has taken, but I've been on vacation visiting family :)!

One of the main reasons I chose Regulus for this last section was, because like you said, they're still all children. Both sides, good and bad, involve people too young that should never had to make the decisions that they'll make. I'm really excited you read into that last sentence, and it makes me so happy that you're picking up on the things that most people don't! I don't always have any deeper meaning in some stuff, but that was one of the parts where I actually did!

I'm SO honored that you took the time to stop and review, an can't tell you how happy it makes me that you're picking up on so much of the feelings that I have while writing this. You've put such a huge smile on my face, and I really hope you like the rest of the story!!

Thank you!! ♥ Jami

PS, love your penname :D!


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Review #32, by marauders_xx Forever Frozen In Time

20th August 2013:
I swore multiple times during this chapter. My heart literally felt like it was breaking while reading Sirius's perspective at the end. There's not much I can say (too busy being depressed) other than, you wrote it beautifully. So beautifully that I almost I was Sirius. Absolutely amazing..

Author's Response: Aww, I really do feel bad for making you sad, but I'm so honored that I was able to make you feel a lot during this chapter! I never thought about what killing a character would feel like, and it sucked SO BAD. I still miss Belle, and it means so much to me that you cared about her too ♥

Thank you!


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Review #33, by gryffindorgal18 Head Boy and Girl

18th August 2013:
i really like this story! you are a great author,and i hope this story (Hopefully) keeps getting better and better!! :)

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much!! I'm really excited that you like the start of this, and i really hope you enjoy it as it continues! Saturday postings will go back to normal this coming Saturday :)!

♥ Jami


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Review #34, by nott theodore A Day for Madness

15th August 2013:
Review 800! Yay, I'm so happy that I'm the one to write this for you! ♥

It really made me smile to see Sirius teasing Lily about kissing James. Even if they had decided to keep it secret, there's no way that the rest of the group wouldn't have found out at some point, and they're obviously going to tease them about it - Sirius especially!

Aw, I love William and Olivia so much! I hope you meant it when you said you'd be keeping them around for as long as possible. The way they treated the group seemed so natural, and they're just so sweet. When Alrek arrived and started asking about the training that Alice was doing I started getting a bit worried, because it can't be good for the Death Eaters to know that both she and Frank are already at the level of second year trainees! I was also nervous about him meeting the Potters too, because I thought that it might give him more information, but I'm pleased that the Potters seemed to be on their guard when they met him and were a bit suspicious!

I was actually really surprised that James kissed Lily in front of everyone before the match, but it was actually really sweet - like she was his good luck charm. I'm pleased that she has such good friends in Alice and Belle, though, and at least they're making her realise that she does want to date James! And then Belle has said she'll tell Sirius soon, and I'm really excited for that happening.

Oh no! Oh no, Alrek knows about the wedding! As soon as they mentioned it in front of him and he started casually asking questions I got worried, and now I'm getting the feeling that he's taking notes and something bad might happen around that time. They'll want to attack when they're vulnerable - is this going to be one of the times that they defy Voldemort? Gah, don't make me so nervous for these characters, Jami!

Frank's commentary on the game really made me laugh! I can definitely see elements of Neville in him, it's just that Neville suffered growing up because of what happened to poor Frank and Alice.

Bella's back! Every single time she appears I get goosebumps but I'm oddly fascinated at the same time. I was really interested by the introduction of Karkaroff in this chapter - I wondered at first if he'd been of help in recruiting Alrek, but I'm not sure if he actually was since Voldemort seemed to be in his home as a punishment. Bellatrix's jealousy at first when she thought he was there as a reward was so realistic and in character, and I thought you wrote her feelings wonderfully.

So, I was right about the wedding and Alrek? No, I really didn't want to be - I feel like I'm guessing far too many things right in this story and that's actually quite sad because half of it is things I don't want to happen! The letter confused me a bit at first because although I understood the parts about the project and the extra project, the bit about the first of December made me think that it wasn't about the wedding after all.

But then I liked Bella's explanation about it and the way that she had been working on the plan and getting Alrek to find out information is so clever that I have to admire it. Now that we know Bellatrix was the one who attacked poor Beowulf I'm actually not that surprised about the amount of curses that she attacked the owl with - Bella is never someone who does something by halves, is she?

It was so creepy when Voldemort decided he was pleased with her work and wanted to congratulate her. The way that he knelt beside her and she was so happy actually gave me chills! But the reward was both horrible and completely consistent with Voldemort and Bellatrix's characters; we know from the books that she loves torturing just for fun and has spent a lot of time doing it. If the Death Eaters can be so awful to one of their own then it's no wonder about the torture they inflicted on others. I'm seriously getting worried about what's going to happen at the wedding!

Aw, James waking up after the injury was quite cute - the way it was written really conveyed his confusion and the fact that he'd got injured doing some crazy move in a quidditch game doesn't surprise me at all, it's so like his son! It made me laugh when he thought that Lily was in his room in the morning when Professor McGonagall was actually there to witness it - it's just the sort of thing that would happen to him! I'm pleased that Gryffindor won, even if James got injured.

Oh, I got so excited when Alice decided to take control and tell Sirius that Belle wanted to talk to her - I'm hoping that we get to see that in the next chapter because I'm really so excited to witness that talk. I'm not sure what Sirius' reaction will be and it's clear that at the moment he has absolutely no idea what she's going to tell him, but I'm excited for it anyway!

Aw, and that ending! Even with all this danger threatening them, you're giving me so many Lily/James feels in these chapters at the moment! I love the fact that she was the one who stayed, and that James was so happy because of it. And now she's finally decided that she's ready to try a relationship!! I'm so happy for them and I have such a massive grin all over my face now. Thank you, Jami!!

Sian :)

Author's Response: My brain is not functioning or something, because this is the second review I've had all ready to go then clicked 'cancel' instead of preview!

ANYWAY!

Yes, I am totally keeping Olivia and William around as long as possible! Since we know they die of an old age related disease, I want to make it s that, though it'll be sad when they go, it will also be time. If that makes sense. I'm so happy that you're still liking them, and that you were suspicious of Alrek finding out a little more than we're comfortable with!

I feel like everyone needs a friend like Alice. She's so sweet and loving, but she's also not going to let you hide from your feelings. I think that's my favorite part about her. And yes! Alrek knows about the wedding! *evil cackle*

I'm so excited that you liked Bellatrix's section. I get worried that I make hers feel repetitive, which is what gave me the idea of bringing karkaroff into this one, so please let me know if you ever feel like that about hers!

I'm probably a little more pleased than I should be at the idea that having her pop up gives you goose bumps... mwahah.

I can't tell you what's going to happen at the wedding! But am insanely excited to see what you think of it, hehe!

I felt like I was stepping into a bit of cliche territory with the hospital scene, but it just felt so appropriate! And having Lily be the one to finally take a big step forward and show her affection for James in front of the team felt like a big move for her, so I'm really thrilled that you liked that section!

Aww hahah Sian, I am so, so happy you're still liking this and that I can give you a big grin with lots of J and L feels! I can't even tell you how much all these reviews have meant to me. You're going to give me a big head :P but responding to them has seriously made my day, and really made me want to carve out some time to finish chapter 2 of ADD!

I feel like these responses aren't even halfway adequate to tell you how much I appreciate the time you're spending on BTF, but you've left me here in a smiley puddle of feels, so THANK YOU ♥


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Review #35, by nott theodore Not Just Friends

15th August 2013:
SO MANY FEELS!

Okay, so I'm going to try and write a coherent review for this chapter...

The opening of this chapter was so tense! At the end of the last one I really didn't expect the tension that I felt at the beginning because I assumed the reaction Beowulf being attacked would be similar to Hedwig being attacked in the fifth book. I suppose that Harry was already in enough danger and Dumbledore knew more at that point what danger they were facing, but it still made me nervous to see how seriously the attack was being taken.

I found the way that Remus was arguing with his friends was really believable - it's so consistent with their canon counterparts. Of course Remus would be the responsible one, arguing to stop James from doing something stupid and going against orders, while Sirius sees no problem with it and they all want to go and be there during Remus' transformations to help him get through. Even though I'm nervous about why James and Lily have been told to stay inside, I can't help but be happy that Lily won't be going to the party with Alrek, after all!

"Peter had always been so loyal to James, though."!
Seriously, Jami?! How can you put a line like that in there so casually as if it means absolutely nothing and in fact it's just foreshadowing the death of both James and Lily and Peter's betrayal and oh my goodness what are you doing to me?!

It's really interesting actually that Peter is suspicious of Alrek. I wonder whether there's more than just his position as a 'rival' to James that's aroused the suspicion, or if it's something more? The joking between Lily and James was so cute, and the way that they get on so well now rather than arguing - they've got to a point where they both depend upon each other and trust each other, probably more than they even realise.

I still really admire how well you write both Dumbledore and McGonagall! I thought you balanced the conversation well and that the tone was just right for it (I also love the name Beowulf for an owl!). It reminded me a bit of the books when Minerva worries about her students and when Molly worries about how much the kids will be told about what's going on in the war. I'm intrigued about what they'll find out about the attack, if anything, and I was surprised by how many curses were used to attack the poor owl! I can understand James not wanting to worry his parents with the information, particularly as you've managed to introduce their deteriorating health without making it really obvious.

Aw, Butterscotch is adorable! It made me really want a kitten, which is strange since I normally much prefer dogs! I love the way that the James and Lily are starting to become so in tune with each other and are thinking along the same lines about things without actually adapting their opinions to match the other's.

How do you manage to characterise Petunia perfectly through her writing a letter? Every word that I read was just so perfectly matched to her, the way that she only answered the letter because she wanted to avoid Vernon seeing the 'strange' form of communication that wizards use. No matter how much Petunia was trying to seem like she didn't care at all about Lily, I think it did come through in the fact that she didn't 'object' to her attending the wedding or meeting Vernon beforehand. When she said that Vernon had accepted her abnormality, I did find myself wondering how much Petunia has actually told him about Lily and the world that she's become a part of, since he seems so ignorant of it in the books. From this letter I got the impression that it wasn't a lot.

I can understand why James felt so protective of Lily and I love the fact that they're both going to go together. He also couldn't understand the fact that Lily still wanted to go and see her sister, even though the letter made it sound like Petunia couldn't care less - I wonder if part of the reason is because James is an only child and can't understand the relationship between Petunia and Lily, no matter what has happened between them.

I'm so excited to see what the meeting will be like, and I'm happy that James is going with Lily! I suppose that this will be the famous dinner when James and Lily meet Vernon and Petunia that's mentioned in canon? I'm really looking forward to see how you write it!

The kiss! With the title for this chapter I thought that maybe they'd come to some sort of agreement similar to the one that they did arrive at, but I didn't really expect them to kiss already! I thought the way that you built up to the moment was so perfect, and it was hesitant at first but then evolved naturally into something more.

I'm pleased that Lily admitted that they had both made the move and didn't make James feel guilty at all for having kissed her. I'm not sure how they're going to work with this agreement they've both come to, but I'm so pleased that they both actually admitted their feelings to each other, and that Lily told him what has been holding her back so far. I know that things won't go smoothly all the time when they get together, but I feel like the closer they get now and the more they know about each other is going to help them when they eventually do get together! There were so many James/Lily feels at the end of this chapter and you've put a massive smile on my face while I read this!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Yay! I've been SO EXCITED for you to get to this chapter!

I know, I was pretty happy to keep Lily away from Alrek, too. hehehe. Can't let that slime get too close to my Lily! *huggles*!

I LOVED writing the tense sort of nature at the beginning of this chapter, and am so excited about how you summed up what was going on with the guys. Those are the things I wanted to get across, and you always make me feel like I'm saying what I want to and it just makes me so happy. I want to send you cake or something, haha!

Hahhaha I can't help it!!! Putting in those sort of ironic lines is too tempting!! I'm not the one that betrayed them, Sian! Yell at Peter! hehehe.

Aww I'm so, so relieved that the fact that they're depending on one another and trusting each other more than they even realize is coming across. You know how I am with these two. I want to show how real it is, how much their relationship means to both of them, and that it wasn't just a convenience thing. So the fact that you're seeing that closeness between them makes me want to hug/squeeze/send you cake even more :P

I am so with you on preferring dogs! My twitter account is basically a hundred million pictures of my puppy, haha! I love kittens, but wish they'd stay that way :P!

Ahhh I'm so happy you like Petunia!! I was super scared to write her. I still think that, though Lily and Petunia never would have been close, maybe they could have built up some sort of relationship if given the time. Maybe Lily could have talked Petunia into divorcing Vernon and then she wouldn't have been quite so terrible :P

Yes yes! This will be the dinner mentioned in canon!!! I'm so excited for you to read it. I think, out of all the chapters, the few surrounding the dinner are my favorite.

Aw I'm so happy you liked all the J/L feels at the end of this!!! You're seriously making my day. Responding to these reviews has put me in the bet mood ever ♥

Thank you so much!!!


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Review #36, by nott theodore Build Up

15th August 2013:
Jami!

I think that a lot of authors forget that one of the biggest lures of the books is the fact that we get to learn about magic at the same time that Harry does; I love the fact that you're including these class scenes in the story and that you manage to write them in such an interesting and compelling way! It's quite a nice calm chapter to read after all the revelations in the last one! But it's great that even when you include these scenes you develop the plot and the characters during them.

The Tachycardia Curse was a great invention - seriously, how do you manage to come up with these things? The explanations that you included about how it works were so interesting and believable (to be honest, I know absolutely nothing about that sort of thing but I'm sure it all makes sense to those who do!). I'm glad that Abigail was kind of taught a lesson today, because she has to go further than what she's been told to do in order to earn points. Remus and Lily coming up with the answers felt right and I liked the inventiveness of Remus's answer!

Also, the mention of Butterscotch was so cute! Every time that he appears I get an adorable reminder of what James has done for Lily ♥ The bit with Alice keeping Frank in line really made me laugh - those sorts of jokes help to remind me that this group is just a group of normal teenagers living their lives in the midst of a war.

The potions lesson was really fascinating to read about. It was great to see Lily so absorbed in her work as one of the few facts we know from canon is that Lily was brilliant at potion. That lesson showed her intelligence and her analytical thinking; I can imagine her becoming a healer and it's going to be interesting to see if she ever gets to pursue a career or if the war will prevent her from doing so. The water egg was something that seems to fit so perfectly with the world of HP that I wouldn't be surprised if JK had invented it, the way that you described the properties in depth.

Aw, Lily noticing about the way Belle and Sirius were working together was so cute! They seem like they'd make a great couple (although I can imagine there will be some pretty fiery arguments between them) with the way that they work together - it was made even sweeter by the fact that neither of them realised they were being watched by Lily (or us, of course!).

Thank you so much for not making Peter a complete dunce! "He was usually very capable at potions" I know I've said this in previous reviews but your characterisation of Peter is so refreshing to read. You're actually making me like him in this, which is a real achievement since I hate the way he betrayed his friends. It's going to be hard for me when it gets to that point, but at the moment I'm pretty content to like him and see him as the good friend that he is here.

The invites to the party! Oh, Lily was so brave to ask James to go with her, and of course it just had to be at a time when he couldn't go because his best friend is turning into a werewolf - and he can't even give her a proper excuse because she doesn't know about Remus' condition yet! You wrote their feelings so well there, and they just fit perfectly. I felt so sorry for James and Lily at the same time!

I really enjoyed the boys working out a plan to try and persuade James to actually go to the party with Lily. It's sweet to see how much they care about him and his chance with Lily - it's not always easy to put your friends first in a situation like that, especially when it could potentially put Sirius and Peter in danger if they can't control Remus. And at the same time James is worried about what will happen to them if he lets them go alone, but is torn because of the opportunity to go to the party with Lily. I really think you write the friendship better than any of the other writers I've read on this site, and they're just so sweet here!

I was also really happy to get an explanation about why they hadn't told Frank about Remus or why he didn't transform with them. It's not a question that had been annoying me or anything, but since they seem like really good friends and have all lived together for seven years, it was good to get that explanation about why the Marauders are closer and have secrets they haven't shared with Frank.

Oh dear, nothing is ever going to be simple where James and Lily are concerned, is it? I know that they can't get together already, but I just want them to be able to have a nice night in each other's company! But no, of course Alrek has to come along and claim Lily as a date (okay, it was technically the other way around, but still...) so poor James gets upset and Lily is going to the party with a Death Eater. I definitely feel like Alrek's going to get closer to the group and they won't realise that he is actually dangerous to them. Maybe the boys might start to suspect something, probably just because of the threat to James and Lily, but I'm still worried!

This letter from Petunia is so interesting! The fact that someone has tried to read the letter is intriguing, and I wonder if it's because they know that it's James' owl or just that people are trying to check mail going into the castle. One thing I'm grateful for in being so behind is that I know I can read on straight away and find out what's going to happen!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi my darling! I hope you've seem my mentions in statuses about being away, but if you haven't, that's why this response has taken so damn long! I'm going all around the country right now and visiting family, and trying so hard to keep up with HPFF stuff but apparently not doing so well :P

Aw I'm so excited that you liked the class scenes! I have so much fun making up curses and spells and all that, hehe. And I totally agree about Abigail needing a nice little reminder that she's not all that. I had a hard time deciding if I wanted Remus or Lily to give that answer, but it felt better for Remus to.

I was terrified people would quit half way through the potions lesson because, well, I don't think everyone likes learning about magic stuff as much as I do *hides* So I'm really relieved that you liked the potions lessons! And the water egg! You're making me blush over here, missy.

Yeah I'm with you on not being able to stand when Peter is made into a complete dunce. I'm so excited you're warning up to him, and if I'm able to write it how it is in my head, I think you'll feel more sorry for him than angry at him when the betrayal finally happens. Not that there are any excused for what he did, but I do hope to show it from a different perspective. Also, I hope this response is making sense. I'm currently have some younger cousins running in and out and trying to tune them all out and respond to your amazingness!

Aww Sian! Your compliment about how I write friendship is such a huge deal to me! I love that aspect of the relationships in marauders era just as much as the romances. Seriously, can I just come squeeze you?!

Hahaha no! Things can't be simple with James and Lily! What kind of fun would that be?! :P

Thank you so much for another amazing review, Sian! I'm really trying to get caught up on responses, so hopefully you'll see more from me! I'm in California until next week, then will be back in Idaho for a week and a half before going back to NY, but in Idaho I'll have a lot more time so hopefully I'll be back on the forums and in the CR lots!

Thank you so much again, m'dear ♥


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Review #37, by Hagrid21 The Force That Drives Us

15th August 2013:
This story was so great! It had everything: romance, humor, friendship, and really messed up bad guys. I think what makes this story so great is how balanced it is. You manage to convey how things are starting to go from bad to worse in the outside world, while showing there are still good times to have and memories to be made. I think you struck gold here, managing to find an incredibly perfect balance between the group growing up, growing closer, and growing stronger as they learn what Voldemort and his followers are truly capable of.

Belle was a great character, and it's terrible that she had to die, but I understand why you had to do it. Her death gave the gang the proper push to get Dumbledore to reveal to them what he was doing to stop Voldemort. And Dumbledore couldn't deny them after they had already been through so much!

That last line has me already looking forward to the highly anticipated sequel. Really just an amazing job on this story.

Author's Response: Hi there!! Sorry for this late response! I've been on vacation visiting family :)

Oh my gosh, I am so, so excited that you liked this!!! I really wanted this story to focus just as much on friendships, and a group of teenagers all learning to be adults, as romances and stuff so I'm really, really excited that you like the balance I had with it.

YES! Belle's death was what pushed them all over the edge, needing to help and ready to commit themselves to it. Thank you so much for pointing out that you noticed that! I don't want people thinking I killed her just to be mean!

I'm so happy you liked this book, and really, really hope you like the sequel as much. Thank you!

♥ Jami


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Review #38, by MissesWeasley123 No More Secrets

13th August 2013:
Oh no Jami! No, no, no! Wow.

So it wasn't Death Eaters.

Sirius? No...

I don't even know what to say about this chapter. Okay. I'm ready.

First off, the full moon. Brilliantly written. I think it was exactly the way it should've been written, and was very descriptive. I love that Sirius tried outrunning James, but wasn't able to.

Belle's character! At first, I must admit... I thought she was quite annoying >.< I love Fleur, but... I just hate reading french accents, and can't read it for any character beside Fleur. Belle though, is an exception. I love sarcastic characters, I think it is best type of comedy and humour. I think the fact that she's french and she's supposed to be "elegant" really makes the entire situation funnier. It's hilarious how Sirius reacts to her. They are so alike.

Sirius. Oh god. Uh I'm just so... I don't even know. I know it's kind of his fault... but then I know he never meant to do it. And I think Lily forgiving him was a good thing. I for some reason, would not be able to imagine that she would forgive him, but you weave it in so beautifully and give reason as to why she forgave him, that it works for me and her decision is justified.

I'm glad that Remus was the one to take control. James lashing at Sirius was very in character, and I can only imagine how broken Black must be.

I loved the bit with Snape. I liked this line most though: " 'I am sorry,' he muttered. And through the stiffness of it, Lily could pick up traces of sincerity." I think that was beautiful.

I fear for Alice, James and Lily... That last cliffhanger... D:

Another 10/10,
Nadia

Author's Response: Hi again you sweet girl!!! I'm really excited that you liked the full moon scene. I think that scene is one of my favorite I've written. And I'm definitely my worse toughest critic, so having a scene I actually like is a big deal for me :P!

Awww I'm SO excited you're warming up to Belle! Her full story comes out in the chapter titled Revelations, and I'll be super excited to see what you think of her after that! I LOVE Fleur so much, that having Belle was sort of my sneaky little way to get parts of Fleur into it. Hahha. My first idea was to have Belle the daughter of Fleur's aunt. But I thought that was just too matchy matchy, so I scarped that but kept the French part :P

I had a tough time deciding what i wanted to do with Lily and Sirius in this chapter. When it came down to it, I thought about how much of Lily's life Petunia had probably spent blaming her for everything. So when something like this happened, I thought it would be more natural for her to just blame herself more than anyone else. I don't think it was necessarily the most healthy thing for either of him, and having Lily NOT blame him probably kept Sirius feeling even more guilty... sorry, I went off on a tangent there :P! But yeah, I really struggled with what to do with them. I'm really excited her not blaming them ended up feeling realistic in this ♥

Thank you SO MUCH for another amazing review, Nadia! I'm sorry my response has ended up so ramble... haha. But your reviews are too much fun to respond to, I have to ramble! I'm so thrilled you're enjoying this ♥




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Review #39, by MissesWeasley123 Secrets Surrounding Us

13th August 2013:
Hey,

Is it just me, or do these chapters just get better and better?! Who knew someone besides Jo could write Bellatrix - who indeed is very hard to write - perfectly. It was spot on! I think you captured her fear and passion for Voldemort perfectly, and it was captivating. When I'm reading again, I just want to get in there and Avada Kedavra her face off because her dedication and er - love for the dark arts and Voldy is so aggravating. Eurgh.

Dobby! Oh good lord, he's so well written, that poor elf! My inner Hermione kicked in when Bellatrix dropped her coat on him. I was about to go all S.P.E.W. on her...

The description during the Death Eater's meeting was sheer beautiful in a dark, angst filled way. It's really hard to pull that off. And I have a shrewd idea on who this Rukin guy is... It's that kid from Durmstrang. I shudder just thinking about what's going to happen to Lily, if she falls for his tricks. I think there's going to be jealousy involved through James' part.

Sirius! Oh god! I need to gush about him in every review! He's so DREAMY! **fangirls all over the place** I didn't mention it before, I think, but the password to get into the HB and HG dorm is sheer brilliance. I love Sirius' quick witted attitude, and I like how brotherly he is to Lily. And when he told James that he was his brother, not Regulus... *dies*.

You wrote Dumbledore thoroughly well! "It's a marvelous thing, you know, finding beauty where destruction has touched." That is the most Dumbledoreish thing I have ever read that wasn't in the books.

And McGonagall, "You aren't the only one who can do a bit of match making every now and then." She's so awesome. So awesome.

All in all, this chapter was where I think I could tell it's getting pretty intense. The Death Eaters are working hard to get into Hogwarts, and Lily and Sirius have a secret... I wonder what it is. I infer that it may be something do with her parents being killed by Death Eaters... But anything's possible really. Really good chapter Jami!

Nadia :)

Author's Response: Hi darling! I'm so sorry that this review response has taken so long! But I know I told you my spiel about being on vacation. So yeah, that's why :P

Awww haha you're so sweet! I hope the chapters keep getting better! I really, really want to always keep improving, so if you're ever noticing a chapter not seeming up to par with the rest, please tell me!!!

Hahaha well, you can go SPEW on Bellatrix, but i can't see you living through it :P!!

Ohh! I wish I could tell you if your idea is right, but then I'd spoil it! I'm the queen of spoiling surprises :P!

Yeah, I think I might have a bit of a crush on Sirius as well, hahaha. I'm SO excited you like Sirius so far!! I hope you keep liking him and the rest of the characters. I want their relationships with each other to feel as realistic to everyone else as they do in my own head.

Ahhh Dumbledore is SO SCARY for me. I'm getting a tiny bit more comfortable, you know, after 39 chapters. But he still takes longer to write than any other character. I'm really excited that he's feeling Dumbledore-ish to you!

Thank you SO MUCH for another amazing review, Nadia ♥ I've been so excited to get some time to come answer it. I didn't think I'd be this busy considering it's vacation, but I'm just trying to soak up every bit of family time I can.

Thank you again!! ♥


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Review #40, by nott theodore Revelations

12th August 2013:
I'm on a roll, Jami!!

Ha! I knew it! I knew it! Sneaky Alrek, sneaking around and spying on these lovely characters for Voldemort! I'm so pleased that my predictions for this are actually coming true, because believe me, that never happens. I'm giving myself a congratulatory pat on the back for this! ;)

In a strange way I really love the Death Eater scenes. They add so much depth to the story and let us see what else is happening but I kind of don't want to know what they're planning because it makes me all worried about our lovely Marauders! I'm so fascinated with your portrayal of Bellatrix; before I'd even started this story I'd heard things about her but I'm convinced that you have the best grasp on her character out of all the writers I've found on this site. It scares me a little, but I love reading about her so much!

Regulus was actually just as fascinating in this chapter, and I'm really pleased that we got a chance to see him again. His character interests me a lot; he was thrust into the Death Eaters at such a young age and seemed to have little choice in the matter, yet he still found the strength and had the intelligence to defy Voldemort and steal the Horcrux. Okay, that went off on a tangent a bit, but what I'm trying to say is that I really liked seeing Regulus here. He felt very young here, and that vulnerability was evident, and it helps to remind the reader how young all of these characters are. I thought it was really touching that he doesn't actually want to hurt Sirius - it contrasts really well with Bella, who doesn't care about anything but her precious Dark Lord.

Oh goodness, when Bella killed the rat! Is that some sort of poetic justice for what happened with Peter in the Shrieking Shack years later? It really highlighted how powerful Bella's magic is; of course she would be able to kill silently!

Alrek... ugh, he's just creepy! If the rumour that Regulus has heard is true then I'm really intrigued about his past, and how Voldemort knew to recruit him. The reasons for trying to recruit James seem completely plausible; if the Order are targeting young witches and wizards then there's no doubt that the Death Eaters would be too. But I can't help but worry about what this is going to mean for the Marauders and the girls...

There were a lot of revelations in this chapter - the title was perfect! I really enjoyed seeing Belle put off telling her story as much as she could (I may have done similar things in the past...) and the fact that we got some more explanation about Lily's feelings for James and yet it didn't seem like a filler at all. Her reasons really made sense to me and I love the closeness of the relationships here - I just want to give them all a hug!

Oh my goodness, Belle! I had tears in my eyes when she was telling the girls her story. I was right about that as well but I almost wish I hadn't been, because her story was so sad! I liked the fact that you actually made her tale realistic; it's so easy to romanticise teenage pregnancy and in all those situations I've witnessed it's never turned out perfectly happily. You didn't do that with Belle's story though and I'm really happy about that!

One of the things I loved about this section was the way you worked the narrative. It was different to Sirius' confession earlier on in the story which was told entirely in flashback. I enjoyed the fact that Belle's speech was included and it highlighted the fact that she is still alone (except for her friends, obviously!) in this country. Then as she made her way through the story it was gradually told more through the narrative; it showed that she was becoming more absorbed in her own story and as she did that so did I.

The story itself was just heartbreaking. You handled a really difficult topic very sensitively, and even though it was hard to read about I did enjoy finding out about it. The situation that she found herself in with Christophe was realistic - the infatuation and the fact that they'd known each other for so long. I couldn't imagine him being happy with the news as so many stories suggest, but what he did was truly horrible.

On top of what happened at Beauxbatons, her family were so horrible to her! I can't believe it but at the same time I can, since so many of the pureblood families seem to have considered honour and duty to the family name the most important thing, especially more important than the welfare of their children. I think I've softened a little towards her sister, knowing that she at least allowed her to stay with her, but I'm pleased that she managed to get away from her parents. She's like Sirius in so many ways - although she didn't find the support network he had when she left her family - and the two are just perfect for each other.

The miscarriage made me cry... it was just told in such a moving way, and I think it does fit with the story and Belle's character. I love the fact that we now know about her past and I feel so much closer to her. I hope that she does tell Sirius, and although I'm not sure how well he'll react at first, I think he will be able to accept it. The girls were so understanding of her and that was so consistent with the types of people that Lily and Alice are, and it was fantastic to see. I'm glad that she's finally found people who can be her family!

And to end this review on a slightly happier note, I loved the image of Lily and James being parents to the kitten!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Now I'm on a roll! I will have all your amazing reviews responded to! I'm sitting in the sun at my grandparents house right now drinking my coffee, and getting to respond to these has just made my morning as perfect as it can get ♥

I don't even know how to respond to your compliments on Bellatrix! She's one of those characters that I do feel like I have a pretty good hold on, and that doesn't happen often. Usually any character that isn't in my Marauders world is very difficult for me to try and get the hang of. I've probably given you my spiel of where I put Bellatrix's mentality, but if not, PM me and I'll gush on about it :P!

Regulus is still scary for me to put in a scene all on his own, but I think I'm getting a bit better at him. i think I have the urge to make him *too* young/too unsure, because he was so young! I think, besides Draco, he must be one of the youngest death eaters to be marked. I can't imagine what that would do to a 16/17 year old. But then I have to remember too that, even if he did good things, he couldn't have been really that good of a person.

Okay, sorry, now I've gone off on a tangent, haha!

I'm so, so excited that you liked Belle's story! And I totally agree. I've seen plenty of girls get pregnant way too young, and none of those have ever ended up in a happy/fairytale/parents get over it and boys turn into men and make great fathers/type of thing. Then when you take into account someone as wealthy and a family as proud as Christophe's, having him anything but angered by the inconvenience would have made no sense to me.

I love what you said about her and Sirius being alike! That's one thing I really wanted. I think Sirius could have fallen in love with someone 'pure' and 'innocent' but i don't think they'd ever really understand Sirius or be able to offer him the same sort of emotional compatibility that someone would who's been through a similar past, and someone who understands that blood isn't strong enough when family honor is at stake. It doesn't matter if you're the child of someone like the Leclairs or Blacks. You either conform to them, or you're no long a bleep on their radar.

Thank you SO MUCH for making me feel so excited, Sian! Your reviews mean so much to me, and I just can't believe how lucky I am to have such an awesome reader ♥



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Review #41, by nott theodore Hogsmeade

12th August 2013:
Hi again, lovely!

Where to start with this review?! KITTEN! I'm going to come back to that later but goodness, the feels!!

I really enjoyed the slow and steady start to this chapter. Last chapter ended in a bit of a cliffhanger and yet you made us wait even longer to find out what actually goes on in Hogsmeade when Alrek joins them! Luckily I've decided to forgive you for it! ♥

The beginning of this chapter was just so James. It's the sort of thing that you hope your captain would never do, but if your captain is James Potter then of course he'll wake you up early in the morning so you can get an edge over the Slytherin quidditch team! Sending a howler up to the girls' dormitories is a stroke of genius - there are far too many stories where the boys can conveniently find their way into the girls' rooms. I love the fact that even the characters who are only on the very edges of this story - people like Margaret and Polly - have their own personalities and realistic reactions to James waking them up at that time. Polly is so adorable! When she admitted that she was already waiting in the common room I just wanted to give her a hug. Please tell me that you don't do anything to hurt her in this story! I also like the fact that you include so much detail in this. It would be easy to forget about things like the Heads' duties, but seeing Lily work on the Hogsmeade forms here really helps to make the setting believable.

Oh, the excuses made me laugh so much! The way that the girls were all trying to come up with something different and the boys kept foiling their attempts to get away - then Belle (and of course it was Belle to say it!) mentions tampons and the boys all run off scared!

Ah, Belle! I loved her in this chapter and I'm really excited about the fact that we're getting to know more about her. And I'm really excited for her getting together with Sirius - I'm pretty sure that's going to happen. If it doesn't I'll be sad, Jami! But one of the things I love is that your characters are so real! They actually have believable insecurities and things that have happened to them and affected them which make them reluctant to jump straight into a relationship.

Aw, I had tears in my eyes when Lily came across her mum's cardigan. The way you're writing the grief process is so realistic, and it's great to find someone that manages to do it justice. Things do get easier over time, and the time comes when things which used to make people sad will make them smile instead.

Belle's pretty sassy as well, isn't she? I can see why she fits so well into Gryffindor - she's so loyal and protective of her friends. Her comments about trying to spice up History of Magic really made me laugh! I really love the way that you write the friendship of the group - it's one of my favourite things about this story. And you made Peter good at something! Thank you Jami! It made me smile to see that he is clearly someone that other people go to for advice on certain subjects - in so many stories he's portrayed as stupid and useless. He might not have been as intelligent as James and Sirius and even Remus, but he still managed to become an Animagus as an underage wizard. Just thank you!

And oh, I'm getting more Lily and James feels in this chapter! When he leaned over to her and whispered that she was beautiful without making a big show of it - they're getting closer and he's so sweet and now I'm running out of proper words to talk about it!

Grr, Alrek. I still don't like him. At all. But more about that later...

So much cuteness in this chapter! I really enjoyed the conversation about pets and Frank having the toad that I'm assuming will be named Trevor and passed down to Neville. And Belle prefers dogs! Her and Sirius are made for each other!

Abigail's another character I don't really like all that much. I can't believe she was so mean to her cousin and just yelled at her for everyone to know that Alana is pregnant. Of course Lily would step in to sort the problem out. I'm fairly sure I've got a good idea what happened with Belle, since she disappeared when the confrontation was taking place. I know I'll find out in the next chapter, but I'm guessing that Belle got pregnant while she was at Beauxbatons and her parents didn't agree with it?

Alrek going on a date in Madam Puddifoot's? No, I don't think so. I think he's doing some sneaky snake-like business and providing them with some excuse that isn't that good but they'll probably believe. But I don't want them to believe his excuses because if he is the spy then he's going to be able to do his Death Eater-y activities without them realising and then that's going to put them all in danger!

Aw, the kitten is so cute! It's so adorable that James pays so much attention to Lily and then bought her the kitten to try and cheer her up! I just have a little Brit-pick with the name of the shop, since Critters is very American - maybe creatures would work better? But anyway, the whole idea was lovely! Is that the cat that Lily mentions in her letter to Sirius in the seventh book?

So many feels in this chapter, Jami! I can't wait to read on and find out what's going to happen next!

Sian :)

Author's Response: I'm accidentally responding to your reviews out of order! Oy Vey!

I get so annoyed when the boys can somehow find their way into the girls' dorm. I mean, after how many years this school has been running for, you'd have to think they'd have outsmarted any students that think they can sneak themselves into the girls' dorm. I do have fun trying to find sneaky ways to twist the rules, like sending Howlers in :P I'm so happy you like that!

Nothing bad happens to Polly in this story! I promise!!! She'll even pop up in the next, too! Come on, Sian, I'm not totally heartless :P!

Yay, I'm so happy you liked Lily's head girl-ness and it didn't jst bore you! I'm so worried half the things I think are fun to include just put others to sleep, haha!

Hahaha, as soon as a girl mentions anything to do with feminine issues, it's bound to scare the men away! You'd have to assume the same thing is true for wizards :P

Well, I think you already have a good idea where Sirius and Belle headed, hehe. And you have no idea what a huge compliment it is that the characters feel real to you. I think characterization and relationships (both friendships and romances) really became my focus with this story because they're both thing I want to keep improving on, so it means so much to me that these people feel real to you ♥.

AND YES! This is the cat that Lily mentions in her letter to Sirius :D! Thank you for the brit pick!! I'm going to go change it... I never thought about 'critters' being a very american word, haha! I swear, you should probably just come stay with me for a month so I soak up all your British words!

THANK YOU SO MUCH SIAN for all your amazing reviews! I can't even explain how excited I get when I know you're getting close to a chapter i really like, and how much it makes me happy to know you're enjoying this! thank you again, lovely ♥




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Review #42, by soufflegirl99 The Force That Drives Us

12th August 2013:
What a moving last chapter this was -- it managed to reduce me to tears several times -- and the way you described the way they had to bereave over Belle was just truly touching. My favourite quote of all was: "It was time to walk into the next phase of his life. But no matter how long he lived, he would never get over Belle." That really got me sobbing, as it basically sums up every person's emotion beautifully after they've lost someone close. That quote had such an impact, as well, because they're all so young. Too young to be dealing with massacre, and Belle was way too young to die, and they were all too young have to be put through all of that.

Adeline was such an interesting character to meet, and I think the bitterness that she had perfectly matched what someone in her position would feel, and there were certain aspects like the fact she wanted them to use the mansion for a portkey and stuff, that kind of determination and generosity that Belle had, and I guess it really showed the Belle side of her. I also love the fact that you added that Lily could understand the complexity of sisters -- because of course, Lily and Belle both had tricky sisters. That was lovely, and it really gave the story a touch of beauty in such a dull and dark thing to describe. I don't know, it just helped balance out the mood a bit. Sorry, I'm probably not making sense!

The fact that her parents won't even see her funeral is infuriating -- that got me seething, and you wrote it so believably, because it's quite easy to be quite fake and melodramatic about that kind of thing -- and I think Sirius for once acted accordingly!

The sense of unity and closeness was really nice through out this chapter, it lightened the chapter a bit, and set the story at a calmer end. It reminded me of the end of the Half-Blood Prince; Ron, Hermione and Harry all stronger, wiser, and closer from Dumbledore's death. I feel like they've come out as wise adults -- not late teens or young adults! The last bit had an awesome tone to it -- you managed to get a good mixture of solemness, hope and grim determination. The last words were a brilliant end to the story, even if they weren't "will you marry me?"

I'm afraid I might go a bit blubbery now. It's been an absolute pleasure to read this wonderful story every saturday, and to really show me an original side to the marauders. To be honest, it was this story that made me love Jily and all of the marauders, and the characters. Thank you so much for updating so regularly, having long beautiful and addictive chapters and the most funny, realistic and incredible characters ever.

-Sophie :D

Author's Response: Hi my lovely Sophie!!!

You're review is making me so sad and soppy, haha! But yes, they are all way too young to have to deal with this kind of thing.

I'm excited you liked Adeline's arrival! And you're making perfect sense! I wish I'd have used the fact that Lily and Belle both had difficult sisters more in the story, but at least Lily got to think about it now. And I totally agree with how Sirius was acting! How could anyone blame him for not being happy about any of this?

Eek I'm so excited you liked how it ended! I wanted something that made it clear where they'd be going next, and ending it with that line has been something I've been so anxious to write. I was actually happy with how it turned out, which surprised me because I'm always my worst critic, haha!

Aww Sophie, it makes me feel so happy/grateful/lucky that you're blubbery. I can't even thank you enough for the reviews you've left on this story, the support you've given me, and just making me feel like the luckiest writer on the site!

Thank you so, so much ♥

Jami


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Review #43, by nott theodore The Order

11th August 2013:
Hi Jami! I'm still determined to try and catch up before you start posting the sequel, so I'm going to have to go on a BTF reading spree!

The opening with the Order was such a great way to start. I love the way that you're building up the story in so many areas, and letting the reader see things that others can't. Here we're getting to see both sides of the fight, as well as following the lives of the people who are caught up in it all and have no hope of escaping its effects.

Minerva's thoughts here were so sweet. Even though she's a pretty strict teacher, we see hints of her softer side in the books, especially when she's so proud of Harry being in her house and trying to help protect all of her students. I really liked the fact that you focused on that part of her character here, and even though she knows what fighting on the right side means and is willing to do it whatever the cost to herself, she doesn't want her students to have to be dragged into the fight as well. I could really sense her pride at being able to watch her students grow and change - like the moment with Dorcas - and it really helped to hit home just how much this war is going to affect everyone in Lily and James' year.

I thought that you captured the dynamics of the Order members very well. Obviously Dumbledore is the leader, but then there are also senior members like Doge and Moody who have more influence on matters. Then there are also younger members, like Dorcas and Edgar, who still spoke up despite being less experienced; people who are fighting in a war like this are going to have to be prepared to speak their mind, and it also showed that everyone is valued in the Order. It contrasts well with the hierarchy in the Death Eater ranks, where only those most in favour can make contributions.

James in this chapter was so brilliant! So far in the story I've felt like I'm still getting to know him but with his thoughts in this chapter I found I could really relate to him. It was realistic since we've all had similar thought processes at times, when we just get grumpy and don't want to be around people. Well, I have at least!

The feels! Seriously Jami, how do you do this? I'm so invested in these characters already and the James/Lily cuteness in this chapter just made me so happy! "It's all about the girl."!!! I don't even know what to say about that but it's just adorable! I love the fact that Lily was able to turn him from sulky to smiley straight away.

What both James and Lily were thinking about wanting it to get worse was so believable. It feels like one of those things that people hope for in private but are often too afraid to admit aloud because of what other people will think of them. It really highlights how close the two are becoming because they can admit that sort of thing to each other. But it just makes me so sad to think that they're going to see everything getting worse, they're going to be the boiling point, and despite the fact that they'll do so much to try and end this war and they won't live to see it come to fruition. *Sobs*

Sirius giving up his place on the Auror programme makes me sad, but it fits with his character and canon. He's definitely the sort of person who would give up a chance like that so that his friends would be able to succeed, and both he and James are obviously realising that things aren't all they're supposed to be in the Auror office and the Ministry at the moment. It doesn't sound like Sirius is really the sort that would fit in and be able to hold his tongue, and of course Frank and Alice are going to make excellent aurors!

Okay, Alrek Rukin. I don't like him at all. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him and I'm pretty sure that he's the spy that Voldemort's placed at Hogwarts. I love the fact that Sirius was sticking up for James and then James was trying to be mature about it, but I have a bad feeling that this could lead to some of the group letting on things to Alrek that he should never find out...

Fantastic chapter lovely! I'm looking forward to seeing the Hogsmeade trip now!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi m'dear ♥

Hahah well even if you don't catch up, you're still doing some serious reading! And leaving these awesome, detailed juicy reviews during!

Showing all the sides of the war is something that I have a lot of fun with. The DE side was planned but then Order sort of crept up me. They wanted to come play, too! :P

Minerva didn't end up being quite as terrifying to write as I thought she would be. Dumbledore, that man never gets easier, but at least she give me a sort of break.

I'm so excited you like the dynamics between all the members! I wondered what they'd do in these meetings and what they'd talk about and who'd lead the discussions, then it seemed more natural to have them all just kind of jumping in. This scene made me really excited to start book two, though, because I learned how much fun I did have with the meetings!

I LOVED playing with moody feeling James! I'm so excited that this section of his made you feel like you could relate to him! I've definitely felt that way too. Usually I hide myself away and snap at anyone who wants to talk to me :P

Awww haha Sian, I'm so excited you're invested in them ♥ that puts such a huge smile on my face.

Showing how these two didn't fall in love because it was convenient and there was a war and decide to get married is such a huge deal to me. I want to show they had something special, two people who finally learned that they belong perfectly together. (imagine little hearts over my head)


It makes me so angry when I think how much they invested in this, and how they just never got to see the end. They deserved a long happy life and more babies and ugh ;(.

I would act all sneaky about Alrek, except you already know :P Hehe. I'm happy you didn't trust him from the start, though!

Also, I need to inform you that I've been writing all this while listening to my in laws talk and trying to ignore them and having me whole apartment invaded with people, so I seriously hope it makes sense, haha!

THANK YOU for another amazing review!!! They really are so much fun to respond to, and I can't tell you how grateful I am that you're reading this ♥


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Review #44, by MissesWeasley123 Head Boy and Girl

9th August 2013:
Hey Jami!

What a chapter! My heart broke when Lily was trying to convince herself not to get involved in James. It was terrible on how she thought she was being a cold hearted person, forgetting her parents, and moving on. I hope she realizes it's okay though.

I think every bit of Sirius' dialogue was well written, and prefect in every sense. It seemed like J.K.R material, and if that's not a compliment, I don't know what is ;) I think that is one of the amazing things about you Jami, you can make everything seem so real and believable. I strive for that, and I'm glad you found that inside of you!

James and Lily's argument. Oh. :'( I love James. I really do. I think he's a sweetheart and, Lily really deserves him after all that she's been through.

I didn't notice any mistakes, though, maybe I read that whole Dumbledore section wrong. Would I be correct in saying that you stated that James was a prefect? And that him and Lily were being promoted to HB AND HG? Because I'm sure it's Remus who is made into a prefect. But that's minor so, no biggie.
Also, in PoA, we're told that Percy gets his badge in the mail beforehand. I guess you changed it but that's fine too because I realize that the Potters and Evans had a lot going on during the summer.

I'm loving this Jami!

Off to read more,
Nadia

Author's Response: Hi Nadiai! Good timing, I just went through this chapter to comb for typos/crappy writing, haha.

I think this is the part of Dumbledore's speech you're talking about: "I sent along twenty-two letters informing twenty-two students of their new position, Prefect. Now, I have two more letters to deliver, ones that would replace our seventh year Gryffindor Prefects and act as Head boy and Girl,” Dumbledore paused, and seemed to be very focused with something on his sleeve."

He's saying that he sent 22 letters to the prefects who had been made prefects, but had two more to give, the two for head boy and head girl :). Sorry, I probably made that complicating. The next paragraph he said that the letters were meant to get mailed out to them, but that he wanted to ask them personally and make sure they were up to with the stuff they'd just gone through with losing Lily's parents. Ugh, I think I made that whole section too confusing. I might have to work on it some more... thank you for pointing it out ♥

Aww that is such a huge compliment! Thank you so much! Sirius is my favorite to write. Shhh, don't tell the others :P. I write quite a bit from his perspective in this... when you get to the first section from his head i think you'll like it. He always has more of a. turbulent sort of feel to me. I'm not sure if that ever really comes across or not, though.

Making things believable, especially the characters, is the hugest deal to me. That could be one of the nicest compliments I've ever gotten, thank you ♥

I'm so, so excited you're liking this still! the next chapter is a long one, and my least favorite out of the entire book, but if you can get through it I think you'll like the 5th!

Thank you again so much! ♥


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Review #45, by WeasleyTwins Hogsmeade

7th August 2013:
Hello darling! Two chapters in as many days? Definitely on a roll!

KITTEN! I actually hate cats, deplore them so much, but that had to be the cutest scene in the history of forever. He got her a kitten! It was so spur of the moment and cute and perfect. Animals are the best presents. I assume this is the cat that Lily was talking about in the letter to Sirius? If so, genius on your part to tie those things together!

Your transitions are excellent in this chapter - not clunky, very smooth. I also loved the section at the beginning - your beginnings just get better and better. As much as I love a good ending, the start of a chapter is always my favorite part of a story. There's something compelling and fascinating about diving into a story, not knowing what's going to happen, but working your way toward the meat of the piece.

Alrek? Is he a spy? I feel like he's a spy or something because he's way too interested in Lily, James, and their friends. Way too interested. And Belle! I have ideas, but I'm not sure - she was engaged? She had a baby? She was engaged, had a baby, and then was forced to move and outed by her parents? Whatever it is, I can't wait to keep reading.

I'm telling you Jami, I'm running out of things to say. Soon, I'm just going to fangirl squee over everything and say nothing constructive. :P

Love it, as always!



Shelby

Author's Response: Yay!!! Hi lovely!!!

I'm so happy you liked the kitten scene! I like cats, but I'm a dog person :P Hehe yep, this is the cat Lily will eventually write about. He was in a one shot of mine first, then he finally got to get to come into the story! yay! And I'm so happy you like that those tie together!

I think transitions is something I really improved on as this story went along. That, and (I think) letting the characters do their own thing and not try to force them.

I'm not tell you what Alrek is! But you do find out next chapter ;). Belle, story comes out next chapter as well... it's a big one, haha! You might be going along the right line.. or... maybe not ;). I'z never tell, mwahaha!

Sorry, short on coffee, haha!

Thank you so much my lovely Shelby for all your awesome compliments! I'm excited for you to get to the later chapters, and hopefully you'll see my writing improve as they go along!!

Pch, now you know how I feel. I'm pretty much just stuck in constant fan girl mode when reading your stuff!!

Thank you!!! ♥


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Review #46, by WeasleyTwins The Order

6th August 2013:
Hello Jami! ♥

Okay, so I'm only 11 chapters in and already have so many favorite moments, but this chapter tops the cake for me right now. I loved absolutely everything. Everything. The first section is perfect. Minerva's love of her students, Moody's love of training good Aurors, and just the meeting in general. I've read so many Marauders era fics and none of them have ever written a meeting of the Order. It's just proof that no one does this era like you.

James's introspection was thoughtfully done. It was very normal teenager-but-emerging-adult and tastefully done. He's just in one of those moods that we all get into - the realism immediately connected me to him. I've always felt rather detached from James. Not that you don't write him well, but because there was nothing there for me to go, "Yeah, I know what you mean." But there, where's he just grumpy and ill at the world, well, it's relateable.

OH MY GOD THE FEELS. ALL THE FEELS. I CAN'T EVEN. "It's all about the girl." STOP IT. Stop it, Jami. I can't handle it right now. It's so true on so many levels. Like the tidbit about James's father shaving because his mother likes it. Dude, don't ask me why that made me gush like a fifteen year old girl over the Jonas Brothers, but it did. Really. When you do something for someone because they're a part of you on this romantic or deep level is just...please, make the feels stop. It's little things like that that hit me so hard.

I only saw one little thing that I want to mention: "Peters hands werent soft and small like Lilys." - This seems unnecessary. There's just something unnatural about the sentence in that particular place. I'd say delete it altogether, but that's just my opinion! :)

Overall, another wonderful chapter. I'm so behind everyone else, but every time I come back to this story, I feel completely at home. Congratulations on finishing BTF and I can't wait to reach the end and do a celebratory, fangirl squee fest!



Shelby

Author's Response: Hi lovely!!!

Ahh I'm so happy you liked the order meeting! I really have fun switching from the students, to the DE, to the Order members in this. Sometimes it made me feel like things were getting a bit hectic, but I think (hope) it offered up an overall more rounded view of everything.

Hahha awww but I like making Shelby feels!!! I'm so excited you were able to connect with James with that. I felt the same way. Just like, poor guy wants to mope all by himself. I know all about that :P! haha!

I'm so excited you liked the mentions of his parents in this and his dad's little romantic heart, heheh. I think I'm half in love with the man :P!

I'm so excited that you still like coming back, Shelby! Knowing that you enjoying coming to read a chapter and it doesn't feel like a chore means so much to me ♥ You know how much I value your opinions, so having you stopping in always puts a huge smile on my face!

Thank you, lovely ♥


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Review #47, by Debra20 Head Boy and Girl

6th August 2013:
Okai, so I know I shouldn't be happy about James and Lily fighting but wow! This was a very intense scene! I love what you're doing with the characters by the way. Lily's doubt that she should launch herself freely into the romantic feelings she's been having for James, both their tempers rising up when they aren't on the same page, are emotional reactions that people have ALL the time, thus giving them enormous depth.

I'm especially enjoying seeing Lily progress. I am beyond thrilled that you chose to take her slowly, rather than straight out abandoning herself to her love for James. Even if that could be a form of reaction, I know many people feel guilty if they start being happy after the death of someone important because they believe they don't have a right to move on, not now. Which is a completely understandable feeling, but silly nonetheless. If the someone we lost was dear to us and loved us, they'd want us to be happy and move on, not stay trapped in grief forever. So yeah, I'm very pleased with how you're handling Lily. Choosing to wait and sort out her feelings first shows a great deal of maturity on her side.

I love the detail you're pouring into your descriptions by the way. You take your time with every scene you're writing, so we can have a clear visual of their surroundings or their feelings, which I find is always greatly helpful for me to get in the real mood of the story. I think the setting of scenes is the first step to a successful chapter :D

Also, I'm very much enjoying the bits and pieces of information you're confiding to us as indication of the growing darkness outside the castle walls. I think you're doing a great job in mixing their daily lives at Hogwarts with everything else going on in the Wizarding War outside and I cannot wait to see what happens next!!

Author's Response: I'm so excited you like what I'm doing with them!!! I'm not someone that lashes out when I'm angry, more than anything i just retreat into a little shell, but I think Lily is. There's an old saying, something about how it's always easier be mean to the people who know who love you, because they're always going to love you. I wanted to sort of show a bit of that in Lily in this chapter. She's using this argument as a way to try and drive him off, and make herself feel a spark again, but he's not going to be shaken that easily. Come on, Lily, the guys been hanging around for years, did you really think that would do it? Silly redhead :P.

I'm so excited that their rising tempers through all the turmoil felt realistic!! I had fun writing their fight, hehe.

I definitely try and move their relationship at a realistic place. It's a huge deal to me to show that they fell in love and got married because that's how the *felt* not because of convenience or anything along those lines.

I'm a sucker for setting scenes. Once we're in there, i try to avoid bringing anyone back out with long winded metaphors or descriptive language, but I do get carried away sometimes, hehe.

Thank you so much for another lovely review, Roxi! You pick up on so many little details, and seem to just get what I wanted someone to feel while writing it, and that makes me so happpy!!! Thank you!! ♥


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Review #48, by Debra20 Hogwarts Express

5th August 2013:
Jami, why are you so intent on making me cry? This was truly a heart-wrenching chapter. I mean, as much as I expecting something like this from the way the previous chapter ended, what with Lily having recently lost her parents, there were moments while I was reading this chapter when I seriously considered closing the tab and reading it another day haha There were a lot of intense emotions flying around this chapter.

I have to say, I am falling in love deeper and deeper with your canon characters. I am sure the story will feature some OC's as well, and I am very excited at the prospect of reading characters written from your own imagination and heart, but until then I am thoroughly enjoying the canon ones.

Lily and James stole the spotlight this chapter. I know how much it means having someone by your side when you are going through such an ordeal like Lily is currently living, so seeing James being so supportive, giving his whole selfless attention to her, caring for her every needs and many times just being there for a hug made me tear up more than anything else. I've recently gone through a death in my family and the feeling of someone's comforting hug cannot possibly be expressed into words. It's like honey for a sore throat. He was just amazing, I wish I could have a guy like James one day haha

I don't have much to say in matter of plot because I can't feel there is much going on at the moment, apart from Lily slowly accommodating herself to a life without her parents. But now that think about it, that's a plot in itself, so I am eager to see how she evolves and how will her feelings modify with the passing of time and the roller-coaster of events that are nearing her life. It really makes me sad because I feel that Lily doesn't have much time to recover because the war is looming overhead. She will just have to swallow her grief and steel her heart against what will come because otherwise she has no chance of surviving. Can't waaait to see more of the story!!

Author's Response: HI lovely!

Hahaha I definitely wanted to do Lily justice with what she just lost. One thing I really don't like is when an emotional, life changing thing happens to a character but then it's not properly followed through. I want Lily's parents death to really, really get close to breaking her, and be another thing that strengthens her as she learns to handle it. I sound so mean, haha, poor baby ♥

Aww I'm so, so happy you like James in this chapter. Getting to show how, even if he hasn't always made the best choices, that he still has an amazing heart was something I really wanted to do. And you made me feel like I definitely got that across in this chapter!

I'm so happy you liked these first few chapters ♥ I promise, it won't stay too sad for long. It gets darker pretty soon, but not exactly sadder for quite a few chapters!

Thank you so, so much lovely ♥


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Review #49, by CambAngst The Force That Drives Us

5th August 2013:
Hi, Jami.

Have I been putting off writing this? Yeah, I've definitely been putting this off. It feels so strange to know that this story is over. Finished. Complete. It isn't as hard to deal with as it would have been if I didn't know there was a sequel around the corner, but it still leaves me feeling nostalgic. The good times are mostly over now. There will be some happy moments, like James and Lily getting married and Harry's birth, but the bad will likely outweigh the good. Childhood is truly over for our poor Marauders.

I loved the setting you created for Belle's grave. It was very fitting, I thought, for her to be put to rest in a beautiful place where the turbulent sea lies beneath her.

She did something that surprised even her; she reached forward and threw her arms around the elder man's neck. He accepted the hug without hesitance, and when they parted it seemed as if some of the happiness had returned to his gentle eyes. -- For some reason, this was the sweetest thing. Nobody ever really lays a hug on Dumbledore anywhere in the books. It seems perfect that Lily would be the one to do it.

"Professor," Alice said, her voice croaking. "Have you... have you ever lost someone?"

An unmistakable sadness washed over the wrinkled face. "I have lost too many someones in my time, Miss Christopherson. And the urge to let the grief simply pull me under has threatened to seduce me into its false promises of comfort. There is no replacement for feelings, no ability to forget those feelings or lessen them. We must experience each excruciating stab that death creates, and overcome it. That is, if we truly wish to remain as whole as possible."
-- That was probably the most "Dumbledore thing" you've ever written. It was beautiful and perfectly in character.

The conversation that Lily has with the others and with herself about why she's turning down the Healer academy and choosing the join the Order instead was an important connection to make. It did seem like Lily could have done both, so it was good to really go through her thought process and explore why that wasn't an option for her.

I started to feel badly for Belle's sister until I remembered the letter she shared with Sirius. Then I couldn't feel bad, no matter what. Still, there was a whole lot of awkward in that scene. All of the emotions were so raw, even from Belle's normally polished, refined sister. I liked the fact that nobody held back or tried to sugar-coat anything. You did that scene perfect justice.

Maybe Belle's sister was right. Maybe, if she had it all to do over again, Belle would have chosen the short life she'd spent among friends over slowly suffocating to death in the Leclair Estate. -- I don't think there's much of a question there.

Sirius's thoughts during the graduation ceremony were perfect. He probably suffered the most from losing Belle, but the loss was certainly a shared one. And Belle certainly would have liked the attention, even if the circumstances were something that nobody wanted. And lastly, I can't let this line go:

But no matter how long he lived, he would never get over Belle. -- I think that's something we can all agree on. :'(

And then we come to the very end. One of the most interesting things about the final scene is trying to sort through all of the various layers of interactions and decide who I think is reassuring who. James has so many different, sometimes conflicting thoughts about what it means to be safe and secure and what the danger really is. He wants all of them to be safe and happy, and as dangerous as it's certainly going to be to oppose Voldemort, he's well aware that defeating the Dark Lord and his followers is the only true path to safety in the long run. I liked the way that he took his friends in turn, considering where their true motivations lay.

Poor Lily seems like she's speaking to herself as much as the others when we says that "it'll be okay." Because is isn't okay, and it isn't ever going to be. That's the saddest thing to realize.

McGonagall and Dumbledore feel so heavy hearted, yet so resigned to the necessity of what's about to happen. It was a perfectly somber end to a story that wrapped up on such a dark and emotional note.

OK, review over. I had to reserve some space here to say a few things. More than anything, I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be part of this amazing journey you've taken. I remember discovering your story and I'm still proud to have been one of the first to review it and fall in love with it. Since then, you've built a tremendous following and you deserve every bit of the praise that people have heaped upon this story. Before They Fall has reshaped so much of what so many people think and feel about James and Lily and their friends. It's added depth and life to the characters and given us an amazingly realistic, detailed picture of the events and relationships that shaped these incredible witches and wizards that we got to know in a very limited way by reading the books. I've cheered for the characters and pitied them, relished their accomplishments and mourned the loss of one of their own. Through it all, I hope that I've been able to contribute a bit. The experience has been incredible and the friendship we've forged along the way means the world to me. You're an amazing author and a wonderful person.

Before They Fall has been an incredible ride and I'll always be proud to have been associated with it.

Hugs,
Dan

Author's Response: Alright, fine. I'm going to reply to this. But I'm not going to be happy about it. I can't believe this is the very last review on BTF from you that I'll ever get to reply to. *sniffs*

Childhood really is over for them now, and unlike most of us who take the next step with all this excitement, they're taking it knowing its into a much darker place than they thought they'd be part of. Ugh, our poor babies. But you're right, there are still happy moments to look forward to. And the fact that everyone seems so invincible while they're young will hopefully play in favor to keep some happiness going through the story.

I though about when I was writing that. Poor Dumbledore, the twinkly old fool with all his faults, goes through so much. He just needs a little hug, haha. I'm so happy with how Belle's grave scene turned out. It was nice to get a bit of closure, too. I needed that, haha.

'rest in a beautiful place where the turbulent sea lies beneath her.' Yes, exactly! Okay, I'm quoting your review, hahaha.

I think that's the only bit of Dumbledore that I've written and ever been like, wow! hahahah. I feel like it's one of those things that happened once and will probably never happen again :P!

I wanted to find a good balance on Belle's sister between grief and acceptance. I don't think she understand to be sad the way everyone else does, with how she was raised. Sort of like Petunia, and how she tried to pretend her sister was already gone, but then having her *actually* gone was a lot different. I do think Adeline will do whatever she can to honor Belle's memory by helping her friends, though.

I love what you said about Belle certainly would have liked getting the attention. Agreed, haha! Sirius section was so sad to write. I just wanted to give him something to be happy about, but how can he? :( Just another notch on the terrible stuff he has to go through.

Your comment about 'it's never going to be okay.' Here, here's the rest of my heart, do you want to take a good stomp on that, too? haha! Ugh, why did I have to chose such a sad time, Dan? Why can't I go AU and give them all happily ever afters? I'm really happy you liked James for the ending. He felt like the clearest glance into it all, and the best person to see them step into their futures from. Really, this has been just as much his story as Lily's.

Oh Dan. I don't even know what to say to that last paragraph. You know how much I've relied on you during this, to talk to me when I'm in crazy Jami land and convince with every chapter I send saying, 'it's terrible,' that it's not actually so terrible, haha. I can't say that I'd have gotten even close to this far, probably not even half this far, without having you to listen to my whining, edit through my 8,000 words of typo filled 'must get chapter done' gibberish, and being an awesome friend through all that. I'll never forget how excited I was to get my first review from you, and how relieved I was when you offered to step in after Izzy, and gah.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for everything. The compliments mean so much coming from you. And now, we better rest up, because in 8 days we have a whole new books to start, m'dear ;)!

*huggles*



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Review #50, by HartOfARebel Hogwarts Express

4th August 2013:
New to this story, just found it randomly. So far so good. Curious to know what Sirius was going to say to James though!

Author's Response: Hi there, m'dear!! I hope you enjoyed these first few chapters, and if you continued reading, that you enjoyed the next ones!! What Sirius wanted to tell James comes out pretty soon... well, sort of ;) but you'll of course find out!

Thank you so much for this review, and I'm so happy you liked the first two!! And your penname makes me smile. I absolutely love it!

♥ Jami


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