Are you kidding me?
You're cliffhangers are going to be the death of me. How could you be so mean? I just... I don't know what to say. Please, please, please update soon! This was awesome and I just can't wait for more!
Perce and Ben need to get over themselves and just get along. It makes me sad that they hate each other so much and what Ben has done to Roxanne is hardly going to make them get along, is it?
George and Angelina are hopelessly adorable and at point, grossly inappropriate... in a good way. It is rather amusing to read. And the fact that Ben has a crush on Angie is just hysterical.
The mystery surrounding the scandal has me very curious and I hope we find out what it is at some point. Also why they came back. And Draco has a daughter as well? It would be nice to catch a glimpse of them as well.
The fact that Perce is practically forcing Roxie and Adam together is slightly amusing and while part of me wants Roxie to use Adam shamelessly to get revenge on Ben, because he is clearly jealous, a bigger part of me doesn't want him to get between Ben and Rox sorting things out. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
But that ending. Meanie. I cannot wait for the next update! You are just so amazing, seriously.
Lots of love,
GirlOnTheSidelines xAuthor's Response: Hello!
Mwhahaha. My cliffhangers are so much fun, I can't stop using them! Hahhaah. And especially for this story, its juts too much fun imagining what your face looks like as you foam at the mouth and mentally strange me.
I think it would take alot for Perce and Ben to get along. Perce used to bully Ben and many others and Ben doesn't see that as something he can ever really let go. And Perce? Well, he doesn't like Bens' attitude (Who does?) and finds his attraction to Roxanne unsettling. You know, like a wolf stalking a bunny or a cute, plump deer. Guess who's the wolf? :3
When Perce finds out what happened between his sister and Ben, it won't be pretty but just wait until their parents find out. :D
Oh, the feels!
HAHAH! George and Angie! Everyone's commentted on them! Aren't they cute? Would you want them as YOUR parents? Hm...not so much cause their jokes are just a little, uhm too much. But imagine dealing with them and their silliness ALL DAY EVERY DAY.
Oh, yes, Ben's crush on Angie is adorable! She doesn't make it any better cause she flirts with him. Hahhaah.
The scandal bits will come up in the next chapter, not the complete mystery but most of the reasons I think. I just have to write it and it depends on Ben, really, he doesn't like me most of the time and doesn't cooperate.
Yes, Draco has a daughter and little Scorpius, who we know from Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince, my other story. I might introduce them soon too, just cause you and antoher reviewer asked about it. :D
Roxanne will make some shady choices regarding her and Ben. And Adam might not be as squeaky clean as he acts either but you'll just have to wait and see what happens. :D
And that ending! HAHAHAHA. Yeah.I thought you wouldn't like that. >:D
Btw, update your stories. There's plenty of stuff on my page to read, A Force of Wills has like, six new chapters that you haven't read. That's right, I'm sort of hinting that i want you to review them.
Much love as always,
Gabbie Report Review
Um, I am so pleased that this has another chapter otherwise I might just have died with that ending. You are so mean!
Another great chapter, nice to see Adam again, although he is nothing like I remember him in your first draft. Also Bianca sounds horrific, is she the girl that was with Karen in Restraint?
Poor Roxie, having Perce grilling her like that, I hope that all sorts itself out soon but it's nice to know he genuinly cares about her.
So, I'll be moving onto the next chapter now but well done!
Lots of Love,
GirlOnTheSidelines xAuthor's Response: HellO!
Hey, there! Hahahaha. I'm sorry that this story doesn't have alot of updates, I've been busy trying to get Audrey and other things done. Hint, hint. A Force of Wills? :3
Yeah, that was one thing about Adam that I had to change. I hated him in the first draft and I made him more likeable, sort of goofy and a nicer guy that Roxie can like and joke with. ;)
Bianca IS awful and yes, she's the little monster from Restraint! Good picking up on that too, no one else did! :D You'll be seeing her more in this story. HAHAHA.
Perce loves his sister, he really does and he'll keep grilling her as much as he wants cause he's annoying like that. And overprotective! :D
Thanks for coming back! *Snogs*
Gabbie Report Review
Mehh... Hey again,
Well this was a rather long chapter, it's like three times the length mine usually are. It was almost like two chapters.
Poor Roxanne, I am still rather cross with Benjamin and he certainly has some explaining to do. She seems really hurt but it's evident that her family really cares about her which must count for something.
I loved how we got to hear a bit more about the other members of her family and the fact that Victoire and Teddy hate each other is a pretty unique twist which has me curious.
Molly seems really sweet and I hope we get to see more of her, even if she does listen so some... interesting music.
I'll be moving on now but another great chapter as always,
Lots of love,
GirlOnTheSidelines xAuthor's Response: HellO!
Hey there, welcome back to the angst! :3 I really have no idea why this chapter turned out to be as long as it did but my apologies. The next few chapters are alot shorter!
Oh, Benjamin is going to explain quite a few things to Roxanne in the chapter I want to write currently. She's really hurt by what happened and I had to make it more apparent that her family cares about her very much.
Bwhaha, the Weasley family is so big that I couldn't resist adding in more details. I hope you enjoyed the bit with Audrey! ;)
Oh, Victoire and Teddy's hate for one another gets spoken about eventually. They're not central characters to this at all so you won't see them very much. They can't stand one another. >:D
You see more of Molly, no worries! She and Roxanne are best friends. And uhm, she does have interesting taste in music, if that's what you want to call it. HAHAHA.
Thanks for reading, you make my day and I've missed you and your reviews/stories. Update soon! >:(
Gabbie Report Review
Ok, so I REALLY loved this chapter! The whole situation with Roxie seeing Ben again, but having her brother and his dad right there is so uncomfortable for her, and I feel so bad, but I love reading it! Awkward situations like that always make me cringe a little bit, and I think you've written this perfectly! Perce and Roxie were great together, and I loved how they tease and bicker with each other, and how they know each other so well that it's really hard for Roxanne to hide anything from him.
And then George joins the party, and that was hilarious! Especially when he saw Benjamin! Hahaha I was laughing out loud at him, and at Angie too when she arrived! I honestly just love how you write them, especially because Perce and Roxie get so embarrassed around them. I would be, too! But they still make me laugh, probably more than anyone else in this story! You write the pair of them perfectly!
It's interesting that everyone keeps pushing Adam onto Roxie, and I'm curious to see if it leads to anything! I have a feeling that Adam and Bianca aren't really right for each other, and that he's going to have a crush on Roxanne, but she definitely is going for Ben (whether it's intentional or not) so I don't know how that would turn out!
This chapter was so funny and great to read, and I can't wait for another update! Hopefully the first chapter of my new story, Holding On, will be up soon! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hello!
Cassie, its always such a pleasure getting a lovely review from you. And thanks for coming back to this, I wasn't too sure about this chapter, I didn't really like it, to be honest, it didn't go the way I wanted it to. :p
Yeah, it really sucked for Roxanne didn't it? I wanted to make it as cringe-worthy as possible because I wanted to make it as realistic as I could. I'm sure a meeting like that would be awful for anyone. T-T
Roxie and Perce are so close that they really can't hide much from the other. I thought that making that distinction between them was really important. There's alot of love and arguing in there. Hahahhaaha.
Oh, George. He's SO much fun to write and he's so embarrassing, I would just turn into a puddle of nothing if he were my dad. But I'd love him to death. :D
Angelina's just as bad. Hahahha.
I think this story is getting a little too angsty on some things. I might try to lighten it up a little bit, I don't want you guys getting all worn out from Roxanne's emotions. Hm.then again, you sat and read through This is Angelina all right. HAHHAHA.
Yeah, everyone wants Adam and Roxanne to happen but I'm not sure if it will. Firstly, Roxanne isn't interested and she's got this thing for Ben and well, its not really going to go right. I'll play around with that in the future!
I'm having a writer's block right now so sorry that you won't get any updates from me in a minute but I'll try to get something up soon!
Can't wait for your new story! :D
Ooh, what's it about?
Gabbie Report Review
Yay first review on this chapter! I love snagging that spot ;)
I liked how you showed that Benjaminís affected Roxanne so much. As itís true about words often hurting more than getting beaten up, as they stay in your mind and replay over and over again, until thatís all you can think about. So her angst about that was really well done.
Haha George is great again! I loved his line about makeup sex, heís just so loveable, if the whole chapter was about him, I honestly wouldnít get bored, as he just comes out with the weirdest yet funniest things. I really wish Fred was still around though as they did make a great double act!
I liked your characterisation of Draco and his little scene with George as it was done well. We havenít really seen all that much of Draco in this story so far, so it was nice to see him pop, as heís a great character. However there are two things bugging me as I hate not knowing things! Who is Dracoís wife, and where did his daughter come from. Itís not just me being stupid is it? As I swear on Merlin that there was never one mentioned before!
Poor old Victoireís pygmy puff it certainly doesnít sound like a nice and pain free way to go! Where was Hermione to report them on magical creature abuse?
Benjaminís really does repress his feelings, or maybe itís just that he doesnít have any? The way he treated poor old Roxanne I felt so sorry for her, as sheís just so innocent and sweet. And for him to talk about contaminating her, and for him not to care at all, that she was in the same room, and that he may have hurt her feelings, wahaha heís just so evil! Will we ever see Benjamin have a nice emotion, not one whereís being evil/manipulating/evil?
I think this needs a space between the two Ė ĎNighttimeí ;)
The only thing I felt that was missing was Roxanne as she didn't seem to feature much in this chapter. Other than that a good chapter, Kiana :)
P.S. Sorry if there's a weird symbols it's a formatting error!Author's Response: Hello!
Hey, there lovely, thanks for snagging the first ever review for this chapter. Its really made my day! :D
I think the fact that Benjamin changed so much is the main thing that hurts Roxanne, aside from everything else. She can't accept that he's not the same person that she had befriended so long ago and coupled with what happened between them and she's so lost. :(
Bwhaha, George is pretty great isn't he? I love writing for him and his lines just come out so smoothly, especially the really weird ones, he's just too funny. Its a shame about Fred of course but he's got Angie and his old Quidditch pals to keep him company. Shame for everyone else, though, its really sort of terrifying to be around them all for too long.
Anyhoo! We'll actually be seeing Draco quite a bit in this story if this goes in the direction that I want. I haven't really thought of how and why, but he's actually not the bad guy in this story, he's just a dad trying his best. :D
I mentioned in the earlier chapters that Draco is married to Pansy Malfoy and Benjamin said in chapter two or so that he had a brother and sister. :D
You already know about Scorpius and Emily is a year younger than he is but I'll make sure to talk about that later on. :p
Bwhaha! I'm pretty sure Perce and Teddy Lupin got into trouble for that stunt with Victoire's pygmy puff.
Benjamin is suppressing his emotions but I wouldn't say he doesn't have any. I think Roxanne can read him better than anyone else can, you just have to read it a little more carefully. His actions are so subtle, but you hate Benjamin, yes? I don't think you'll really care either way. HAHAHA. ;)
Benjamin has his nice moments, don't worry. That's what the flashbacks are for and he won't treat Roxanne completely bad if this next chapter goes right. Might want to start writing it. >_<
I do need a space between nighttime. :p The second half felt rushed to me.
And there was some Roxanne in this but this chapter itself gave me some trouble so I'm sorry if you weren't getting enough from her. It really bugged me, I sort of didn't like writing this chapter, i had at least four different versions! :p
Anyhoo, thanks for the review! Hope to see you again sometime!
Gabbie Report Review
Hi there! Iíve seen your name around on the forums and on review for stories, so I wanted to come by and stalk...err.. check your AP ;).
I love the way youíve already started characterizing everyone. George and Lee are destructive little force that are constantly threatening to tear down the house (no surprise there) Angelina lets them humor themselves so long as they donít take it too far... a few very important pieces of characterization that were places so well! I love when authors do that.
And you didnít ignore the fact that Fred IIís mother is black by making him pale as snow with red hair. THANK YOU. Although he seems to have the nickname of Perce, right? I donít read a ton of next Gen... going to google. okay. Google is telling that she does only have one brother and that itís Fred. So Iím sticking with Perce having to be a nickname.
Oh! And Hermione just referred to him as Fred! Okay, itís definitely just a nickname. Sorry, I probably seem like such an idiot. As I said, Iíve only read a handful of next gen so Iím not familiar with some of the small details ;).
I liked that you were able to include a pretty good amount of the Weasley family members in this! The section with George and Roxanne was incredibly sweet. I love the idea of George having a daddyís girl.
Also! Youíve made Audrey so different than Iíve ever read her (and Iíve never really liked things Iíve read about her). I know she might donít be a huge part of this, but sheís intelligent and fiery and brings Percy out of is stuffed up comfort zone. Awesome job with that!
Hahhah George telling her that the OWLS he got was all about luck. Thatís so perfect. Iím getting all these warm George Fred leaving Hogwarts on their brooms feels.
Their betting with the kids! Not WITH them obviously, but with who takes them for the summer. Thatís genius. And I loved that it seems like their all so close. The idea that George and Percy would have gotten a lot closer after.. after.. you know... is one I really like, and it definitely seems like that in this first chapter.
Ohhh and who is the Benjamin Malfoy!? Nice cliffy, mídear!!!
Iím excited to read the next chapter, this is a lovely start ♥Author's Response: Hello!
Ooh, what a nice surprise for me! Hello, nice to meet you, I'm Gabbie! :3 I have seen you on the forums as well but hadn't had the time to properly attack your AP either. Perhaps I'll do that soon? Mwhahahhhaa.
So! Thanks for stopping by to this NG that I've been working on. Means alot, I never think that any of my stories are very popular or anything so I make a big deal when I get a review. :D
Bwhaha, George and Lee are very good friends and horrible to have in your home. Angelina adn the rest have known one another for years so she has a higher tolerance of them than say, a stranger would. Hahah. I thought that making those little hints of family life were very important for this story since family means alot to Roxanne.
Alot of people have commented on Fred the Second's nickname. But yes, its "Perce" short for "Percival" which is his middle name and also their Uncle Percy's whom he's named after. Can you imagine saying Frederick Percival Weasley the Second all the time? *Shudders*
And my god, thank you so much for pointing out the fact that he's black. I don't understand or like the whitewashing but alot of people don't like Georgelina and sometimes don't add her into their stories at all. I mean, Angelina is black so duh, her kids are going to have darker skin and hair, etc, etc. :p
Being black myself I had to wonder why that was such a big deal. :p
Anyhoo! I tried to put as much of the Weasley's into this chapter as possible. They're a big family and its so confusing to keep all of them straight, I have chicken scratch notes on each of the grandkids somewhere.must find that eventually. Hahhaa.
Yep, George is my favorite Weasley like EVER and making Roxanne a daddy's girl just seemed to fit. He's the sort of parent that spoils his kids and doesn't care about the consequences. Hahhaa.
Audrey IS alot different from how she's usually written, isn't she? I think so, I mean, I've only read a handful of stories with her and never really seen one quite like mine. :)
Ego boost? Perhaps. Hahhaa.
She's good for Percy though and helps him take life a little less seriously so I'm glad that you liked it!
Bwhaha, George is such a liar! He and Fred didn't even try hard on their OWLs! Hahaha.
George and Audrey bet on the children alot, they're very good frenemies? Hahhaah.
But George and Percy are very close after Fred's death. D': R.I.P. Freddie! I wanted to make that very clear, I hate thinking of everyone so distant with one another, it makes me sad. :(
Beware of Benjamin Malfoy as you continue reading. He's not for the faint of heart. HAHAHA. ;)
Thanks for reading and I owe you bunches, I hope to see you again soon! :)
Gabbie Report Review
I really loved reading this chapter! It was nice to get back to Roxie and all of her muddled up and probably kind of tiring feelings for Ben. I wish I could just go hug her! Everyone is just harping on her and telling her that it's his fault even though most of them don't know what happened! It's not fair, and I totally feel for Roxie. She's really sweet, and I love how you write her!
I also really like seeing Roxie and Molly together. They aren't two that I've ever read as being good friends, and out of all the cousins I wouldn't immediately put them together, because of how different their dads are, but I think the way you write them is fabulous! Molly seems like she's a really good friend, and will stick up for Roxie if she needs to!
I'm interested to see how Adam and his new girlfriend come back into the picture! I think that he likes Roxie, but I agree with her when she says he isn't really her type, so I'm wondering what will happen if she's ever faced with him asking her out! Haha.
I really enjoyed Roxie and Percent together at the end. Their banter feels really natural, and the sibling relationship they have is completely realistic and believable. They're teasing each other one second, then getting along the next, and then Ben just has to make Perce snap at Roxie and everything goes crazy! The ending of this chapter was wonderful, and the emotion was really poignant. I loved how you wrote it!
ASOS is up and ready for you to read, and I'm working on TFD, a one-shot, and hopefully I'll start a new novel soon! I can't wait for more updates from you, and I'll read your Percy one-shot soon, too! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hello!
Oh, Cassie, its always nice coming back and reading your lovely reviews. They always make me so happy and its great to see you coming back all the time for my stories!
But anyway, on to this response! At some point, Roxanne's emotions for Benjamin will overflow for worse or better. I should probably tone down her angst a little bit though, I don't want you guys getting tired of her being so sad. But it makes you want to hug her! And I'm glad that you're able to like her still, she's a sweet girl I think, just sort of naiive.
I think everyone wants to think that Benjamin was the only one who was seduced that night, you know? Not that Roxanne intentionally set out to do it, but there were so many feelings betwen the pair that its too complicated for an outsider to really understand. Or something, right?
I never read many fics with Roxanne and Molly either and its a shame, it can really turn your character's around and give them room to grow. Plus, they're fun! Percy and George get along very well so it would make sense that their children saw alot of each other so Molly and Roxanne being close shouldn't be a surprise. But Molly is a very good friend and she'll stand by Roxanne no matter what! Its what's so great about her. :D
Adam and his new girlfriend play a role in this later on, actually. He's not Roxanne's type at all but he does have a thing for her, we'll see how she handles that later on though. ;)
Writing Roxanne and Perce is great! There's so much banter and love between them. But, of course, siblings do fight and spotting Ben and his dad coming into the shop just made things so much worse. :p
I've got the next chapter halfway done and for you, A Force of Wills should be up today or tomorrow, depending. Hopefully, it hasn't been rejected! :D
I'm going to check out ASOS right now and I can't wait on TFD and any new work from you! Feel free to read my LONG Percy one-shot any time! ;)
Gabbie Report Review
Hey it's patronus_charm with your review!
I think the way you portrayed George as a father was very believable, as I can imagine him being the parent who spoils the children, and has a soft heart, as he's just so loveable and funny, so he's characterization is great! And haha Verity's still working at the shop:P
I'm interested to know why George and his family are so close to Percy's family, as in the books they didn't seem to be that close, as I would have imagined George to be closer to Ginny and Ron's families, as they just seem more similar! I guess that's in your Audrey Tang series which I still need to read! But, speaking of Ron and Ginny, are they are going to make an appearance at all, if they did that would be awesome, as when the Weasley family are all together it's so funny to read!
I liked that George seemed didn't seem to hate Malfoy too much in the flashback, if only he knew what he did to his daughter in the future though:O Also that thing about Perce getting confused as Fred, aww, I just wanted to cry, over how sad George seemed to be over that still!
It was funny to see that everyone knew Molly as well, as you never imagine the Weasley fame affecting them as well, but given their family, and how high up their Dad is, I guess you should really expect that!
I loved seeing Molly and Roxanne's reaction to prefects, of course Molly would love them, being the daughter of authority loving Percy, who was head boy himself, and Roxanne being the daughter of George who made fun of Percy for no end because of it, would regard becoming one, as something fit for nightmares!
Overall I thought it was a good chapter, which provided me with lots of laughs, and it was nice to see Perce being the nice brother again, I look forward to reading more, Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hey there doll!
Its always nice to see you back of course and you're always welcome to stop by. I think I patterned George as a father after Arthur, honestly. For some reason I got the feeling that he sort of spoiled the kids behind Molly's back and just based George off of that. And plus, he's just so...George, he doesn't like telling his kids "no" on anything and that makes him a major softie. Hahahha.
Yeah, Verity is still there! I hadn't mentioned her at all in the flashbacks because I hadn't really thought much about it but thought it'd be interesting to still see her there. Hahahha.
Why George and Percy are so close in this story does have something to do with my Audrey Tang series. But mostly, you can get the gist of that in "This is Angelina" too if you ever read that. I changed alot of things from canon and I wanted to do something different with the Weasley's relationships. George and Percy are so much closer than they were and I wanted to show that. Ron and Ginny make an appearance or so in this, at some point but I'm not sure when. They're not major players or anything! Sorry! D':
No, George isn't the sort of person to hate so easily. And plus, I made it a point of talking about his son versus his brother and the fact that Ben isn't Malfoy, you know? He can understand how Roxanne was feeling more than anyone else can.
But if he finds out what Ben did to her he might just lose his mind. My George sometimes isn't all there to begin with! I thought about making it a point about Perce vs. Uncle Fred because I'm sure someone in the family might have madea dumb comment or two.
Yep, the Weasley family is pretty famous but Molly is too shy for the limelight, its really not her thing.
Bwhaha, the girls really showed who their dads were in their reaction to Prefects didn't they? But its not going to be so easy for Roxanne thought. I have more things planned for her. :3
Perce might just turn into the overprotective brother in the next chapter. Its about to get intense on you! HAHAHA. I think? Yeah, maybe.
Anyhoo, thanks as always darling!
I'm going to re-request something else for you to read!
Gabbie Report Review
Hey Gabbie! I'm here with your review, wow 9000 words how long did this take to write?
I really enjoyed reading Roxanne's thoughts at the beginning, as it was nice to show how hurt she was, and how much she regretted it. If only Harry, Ron and Hemione hadn't smashed up the timeturners she could go back and change it all!
I liked how you adapted this line to make it suitable for wizards - "Roxanne Weasley, just another number notched onto Benjamin Malfoy's broomstick", it made me laugh at the thought of that.
And yay for the bried mention of the ghoul, he really is awesome isn't he? Damn this is making me want to write a story about him, I must resist the urge!
I liked that scene of Rox and Perce, it was really nice to see the siblings getting along for once, and they were he didn't want to be called Fred, I guess it may be because he thinks he can't live up to the old Fred.
Hmm so Ben gets bullied by the cousins, and I thought they were all nice? I guess everyone has a secret past, maybe there's something more behind it other than him being a Malfoy and Slytherin. It would be cool if we had the reason behind Roxanne being a Hufflepuff, maybe a flashback to the sorting? As it seems that she could be a Slytherin in some ways, so if she was that determined to be in it, how come she wasn't?
"if she would always feel possessed by Benjamin Malfoy", this sounds eerily like when Ginny was possessed by the diary, and was forced to do things that she didn't want to, almost like how Ben lead on Roxanne.
I can see some of Roxanne's body image issues resurfacing again, when she was complaining about not being as pretty as her Mother. Am I reading too far into this, or this going to become a sub-plot?
I like Audrey, she seems to have lightened up Percy, and not made him as stuck up as he used to be. I also like that he inherited the loving all things muggle trait, as it's a really cool one to have. I thought merging the house with electricity was a cool idea as well!
You mentioned that Victoire had some issues, I wonder what they could be. Also it was a cool idea to make her a ballerina, I can really imagine her as one.
Overall I thought it was a good chapter, and I was really glad to see some of the Weasley clan, as they're so funny as they're all unique and different! Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hello!
Welcome back to this surprisingly long chapter, it actually just took me a whole day to write, believe it or not. I had no idea it was so long until I got it validated, the word count on it is ridiculous! D':
Roxanne will of course be hurt for a while as what happened with her and Ben wasn't anything that she can forget. And sadly, there are no timeturners and this is a learning thing for her, I actually don't think it'd be wise for her to go back in time to change it. She wouldn't learn anything from that!
Write the story about the ghoul. DO IT.
Roxanne and Perce get along pretty well, actually its just that he tends to be a tad over protective and thinks she's more of a brat than he is. Which is, sadly, probably true. Hahhaa.
I will actually touch a little on the subject of Uncle Fred versus Fred the Second in the next chapter! :D
Nope, I didn't think it was very realistic or different to have all the Weasley kids "nice" and "perfect". Having a famous family might actually make some of them less than kind in my opinion and just because they're from a famous family doesn't mean that they're not people and make mistakes.
Should their be another reason for them bullying Ben other than the fact that he's a Slytherin? I doubt it. I really do.
I'd had a loose idea of Roxanne's sorting, she could be a Slytherin but then again, she's incredibly loyal, which would play a part I guess in her being in either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. :D I'll most likely do a flashback on it sometime down the line.
I'll also touch on Roxanne's issues with herself, its not so much physical as it is personal. There's alot more going on in that house than what I've talked about and you'll get your answers. She's a daddy's girl and perhaps doesn't feel as close to her mother as she'd like, which would explain some things.
Actually, by this point, Percy is alot different from canon! In Audrey's stroy, he's so changed in some ways that he doesn't even feel the same as a stuffy git from the HP books. :3
And yep, he likes Muggle things. I had to put that in there, I thought it would suit him really well, he seems to like to analyze things.
Victoire is a small player in this story and I'm not really interested in giving too much information about her, but Roxanne might mention something about it later. :p
Thanks for the review, it was lovely! I shall see you on the forums!
Gabbie Report Review
Hey I'm back with part 2 of the review!
I really love her nickname lump, it's just so adorable, I'm guessing that Ben was going to say cute when he changed it to stupid? He really can't show his true feelings can he? I still really want to know why he hates her cousins so much, because it can be Weasley prejudice as he's fine with Roxanne!
"Youíd better be in Slytherin then.Ē This line really reminded me of Snape when he said that to Lily, I guess those two had a rather strange friendship just like Rox and Ben do!
I really loved George and Angelina playful relationship it was so nice to read! I would really love to see more of them, and it was cool seeing George being a dad! I liked how you showed that Roxie was rather spoilt, as it showed that both her and Ben have their fatal flaws.
I certainly didn't expect Ben and Roxie to sleep together! I knew it was getting pretty heated in the last chapter, but not that heated. I'm not too sure about that as Roxie does seem innocent so it's weird thinking her and Ben have slept together.
AAHH! Ben! AAHH! HE'S EVIL! Definitely convinced about him being Voldy and Bellatrix's love child, only someone with their genes could be that mean. After sleeping with her, then treating her like that. I could deal with the fact he may not want the backlash of Weasley, and being a commitment phobe, but the whole chucking her out the house was too far! And yes I know Roxie's immature, but he didn't need to say it. I thought they were actually going to get together at the end of the flashback, and he seemed quite nice for once! And then boom! Everything changes! How could he do that!
Ok I probably should stop my rant now! Other than Benjamin being evil, I really enjoyed the rest of the chapter, as it had so muc drama, which I love! I really love your flashbacks as it helps me understand how they became friends, so keep on including them! This was great, and feel free to re-request whenever, Kiana ;D xAuthor's Response: Hello!
"You're just so plump and cu--stupid," hahaa. Is that the line you meant? I'm not sure where the lump really came from but it is pretty hilarious isn't it? Hahaha. Ben's not too bad, in the flashback anyway! He's just a little boy without any friends so I guess he gets lonely so you'll have to excuse him. :D
Actually, that's a good comparison to Snape! I forget that he had such a weird friendship with Lily! (I usually cry thinking about him) But it does match up well with Ben and Roxie doesn't it? Wow. Thanks for pointing that out there! Hopefully it won't end as badly. D':
He'll reveal his true feelings for the Weasley cousins soon. Its not just from their fame and glory, there's actually something not quite pleasant happening with how he sees them. And at some point, you might not blame him.
Oh, you'll see more of George and Angelina, no worries there! They're so fun to write for, they're a very happy couple and I'm glad that you enjoyed it so much. I love them, they're my favorite shipping you know! :D
And yes, Roxanne is VERY spoiled. It will actually prove to be something she has to change later on down the line but it does show a flaw with her doesn't it? And Ben has so many. He's anti-social. Hahahaha.
Ooh, I'm sure you didn't expect Ben and Roxie to sleep together! It was becoming rather heated, wasn't it?! Roxanne is sooo innocent but I think that's sort of the reason she did sleep with Ben. She trusted him and didn't think that he would hurt her. Poor thing.
HAHAHAHAH! BEN. Yes, he's pretty darn awful right now, isn't he? How do I come back from this and make him more likeable? Hahah, I have no idea. Nah, he's not Voldy and Bella's love child, but he is pretty awful, isn't he?
Oh, yes, he has so many issues but chucking her out of the house was a bit much, wasn't it? Then again, Roxanne did punch him in the face. And kick him. And yell at him. And he might have felt a tad guilty and wasn't sure what to do about it. Hahahhaha. >:D
Roxanne might have needed him to point out how immature she was but, not right then. :(
I put that flashback ahead of the final scenes on purpose, just to add salt into a wound for you guys. :) See how cruel I am?
Oooh, thanks for enjoying my flashbacks! I love writing them and I'll keep them going, though you may not see them every chapter, you'll still see them throughout the story. :)
Thanks for loving this so much, I'm going to re-request the last chapter for you!
Gabbie Report Review
Hey Gabbie! It's me with your review! I know how annoying grammar issues are, I always get loads picked out, and I always think I get rid of them, yet more still turn up!
I loved Roxanne's descriptions of the kiss, all those emotions and not knowing how to deal with them. I guess the way she described it as dangerous could be a metaphor for her and Benjamin's relationship as that's probably pretty dangerous as well!
I could see the Weasley spirit in her, the way she was trying to stop Ben from kissing her, yet he wouldn't! I liked how you showed that he used to be nice, as it made you wondered, what on earth could have happened to make him change from the person who helped her, to the one he wouldn't stop kissing her!
A little Brit pick, you said they played muggle baseball, no one really plays it here, I guess the best alternative is football as everyone plays that!
This line made me laugh so much, as it's so true! - Iím a Malfoy, Weasley. Threatening is how we communicate,", I guess it's true as that's how Lucius and to a lesser extent, Draco worked!
You said that the Holyhead Harpies were in Ireland, but there in Wales, I just thought I should point that out :P
"What about sharing your problems and actually getting to know each other instead of just wiping body fluids?" - wah this, amazing! I was roaring with laughter like Benjamin, I really like it when you show Roxanne's funny side, because after all she is the daughter of George, you should show it more, as she does come out with some great stuff!
Oooh she's starting to admit that she really does like Ben! How exciting! I love this part of the story, when they realise they do actually love that person, it's so funny to watch, as you're sitting there laughing at the fact they've only just realised! I'm just wondering whether Ben's feelings for her are genuine or not, as he's such a deceptive character it's hard to tell!
As I have nothing else in my review queue, I'll do the next chapter as well! Thanks for the great read, by the way, Kiana ;DAuthor's Response: Hello!
Hey, this is a surprise, you coming onto these so quickly! Thanks a bunch though. :3
Roxanne's descriptions of that kiss really does put her relationship with Benjamin into perspective doesn't it? They have such a volatile relationship that a kiss is something so dangerously addictive that she really couldn't handle it. And plus, it was fun for me to write, although I did giggle and blush alot. :3
I had to show how different Ben was from how he is now. It plays a big role for him later on in this story and its sort of heartbreaking for Roxanne later on. :(
Bwhaa, that line you liked from Benjamin pretty much sums him up for a minute. Malfoy's are the sort of people that get what they want when they want it, even while they're threatening. Scary, yes?
As for the Holyhead Harpies, I had no idea that they were in Wales instead of Ireland. My mistake! D':
Roxanne has more of a funny side but I haven't had time to really go into it but you might see it in chapter seven. I mean, her parents are hilarious, she'd have to pick it up somewhere!
Ah, its scary for her knowing how she feels about Ben! So, so, so scary. You can obviously see what's happening but the two characters can't and won't accept it. So I don't blame you for laughing, adn yet, Ben's feelings for her are something you really might want to question. :3
Thanks for stopping by, doll!
Gabbie Report Review
Hey, I'm back with part 2 of your review!
I was interested by the fact that Roxanne and Ben had known each other for years, as it seems odd to think that a Malfoy and Weasley would have childhood roots.
I thought the flashback was really sweet, as it showed them back when they were so innocent and how they had to deal with their insecurities. The bit about the people saying Roxanne wasn't a proper Weasley as her mum was black, made me want to cry as no one should have to deal with racism especially as a child. The fact that Benjamin wasn't insecure about his parents not wanting him does explain about his future character!
One thing I would possibly like to see is, maybe a chapter which is less focused on Roxanne and Benjamin, but perhaps on Roxanne and her family and Benjamin and his family. Because, by seeing how the family interacts with one another you can learn so much about a characters background. And besides everyone loves the Weasley/Potter clan!
I loved the Manor scene, as I love reading anything which is based there, besides the things set there in the Deathly Hallows of course! I really enjoyed that scene between Benjamin and Draco as it explained a lot to me about their home enviroment!
I still hope that Benjamin does have some nice trait waiting for him, because I don't believe he's completely evil - unless he's the secret son of Bellatrix and Voldemort, then that would be plausible!
Overall I though this was a good chapter, and I enjoyed reading it, as it provided a new perspective of the story, and has made me convinced that Ben is Voldemort and Bellatrix's secret lovechild! Feel free to re-request Kiana!Author's Response: Hello!
Welcome back! I just finished responding to your lovely review a few seconds ago and am now answering this one! :3
Roxanne and Benjamin have known each other for quite a while. I thought it would have made more sense for them to be able to talk to one another so easily. There had to be some past history between them and its always nice breaking those boundaries when it comes to Malfoy's and Weasley's. I thought that I would make it more apparent that Ben isn't Draco and that Roxanne isn't, say, Hermione. These are kids that have been born after that War and it really shows in how they responded to one another. That sort of innocence is so hard to write but I'm glad that I pulled it off...and yes, the racism that Roxanne has to deal with as a child is tear inducing. But children actually face that sort of thing all the time, people just don't talk about it as much. And to me, children can be the meanest little beasts on the planet. -_-
Sorry to tell you, but the next few chapters are going to be with Ben and Roxie for a while longer. You get a bit more info on both of them and later on, I think in chapter 7 you get to see her and her family a bit more. I've got plans to throw them back together eventually so I hope you'll be patient and happy enough to read what I've got before then! :) Yes? Hopefully? Hahhaa.
The home environment for Ben isn't a good one at this moment but that fight with his dad really made you wonder doesn't it? :3
HAHAHAH! He's not the spawn of Bella and Voldemort, although that IS a good plot bunny! Hahaha, that's funny. Oddly tempted to write...never mind, thanks for the review! You're awesome and feel free to re-request for me too! :3
Gabbie Report Review
Hey Gabbie! It's me with your review, and no you're not bugging me with them, I like reviewing your work!
I really loved your description in this chapter, I think one of the best bits, was Roxanne describing Ben as 'someone so big, he moved like a cat', this just created great imagery in my head, and now when I think of him I can imagine him slinking around.
Ooh, so Ben doesn't like some of her cousins and he won't say why huh. I can't wait to find out whether it's because of the Malfoy bias towards the Weasley's or perhaps something more deeply rooted.
I noticed a few run on sentences, which could use comma's in them, so you don't mentally run out of breath when reading them, as putting them in, will help with the flow of the story. I also noticed some inconsistency in the use of mom/mum, so rereading it will get rid of that!
Ah! Dom-Dom I do really love, she's so endearing with her stutter, I really would love to know if there was a reason behind her having or not.
Benjamin's starting to freak me out a bit, by him following Roxanne in the dark, and his quite aggresive nature. Maybe he just has insecurities over being adopted, and being Malfoy's son and this is how he expresses them?
Poor Roxanne, she seems to have some body image issues at the moment, if she was real I would tell her that she doesn't have to be rake thin to get boys to like her, as she has a wonderful personality which lights up a room!
This was a very thought-provoking chapter(in a good thought provoking way), and I thoroughly enjoyed, I'm off to do the next one! Kiana :)xAuthor's Response: Hello!
Welcome back, doll! Always nice getting a review from you and they help me out a lot! :3
The thing with Ben moving like a cat stays in my mind too, I can't quite think of him walking without looking shifty. With the way he acts with Roxanne though, I really can't blame you for being freaked out, I made him that way on purpose. :3
Then again, Draco Malfoy is like that in one of my other stories. I just can't help but toy with the eerie nature of those sort of people but anyhoo, onto this!
I wanted to go back and get rid of those pesky run-ons but I've been so busy updating that I've sort of pushed it back for later. But I'll make sure to get to them eventually, they really bug me and I've got such a bad habit of making them. :p
Ms. Dom-Dom really is something sweet, isn't she? I think I might go on later about why she has a stutter, I haven't had the time just yet but I will, just for you all who asked. :3
Benjamin is rather aggressive isn't he? He has alot of issues and some of them you touched on brilliantly without having to read on! :D
Roxanne is a girl that is, sadly, sort of insecure on herself. She's fifteen, surrounded by her cousins being super skinny and she really can't compare herself to them. :p
Her personality is so good that you really have to love her though and I'm glad that you do!
Thanks for coming back! I'm off to respond to your other review! :D
Gabbie Report Review
Hello lovely! Just filling in your requested review!
I'm really pleased you requested another of your stories, they're always so fun to read. I have to say before anything else that I adored your portrayal of George here. When he called Roxanne 'beautiful girl' when they're dancing I could just see how much he loves her and oh it was just amazing!! I loved it! I'm glad you acknowledged he still gets sad sometimes but doesn't let it affect his relationship with his children, it was just lovely to read!
In fact I loved the whole Weasley gang and how you kept weaving them in and out of the party. I did get thrown off a little by you calling Fred 'Perce' but I got there eventually. Percy in this was fabulous by the way. I loved the thought that he manages to get himself sorted and lighten up with his lovely wife - Audrey is great too by the way. And you got all the old Quidditch gang in and together yay! It was making me so happy to read!
Your Roxanne is a really strong character and I thought you did an amazing job of bringing her to life! From reading it you make it so obvious she is George and Angelina's child. I really took to her and really want to read more about her!
As always your Georgelina writing is spot on. They are lovely in this chapter. It's nice to see them happy and well with their family and you wrote it well.
Hmm leaving it on a bit of a cliff hanger with Benjamin Malfoy! I wasn't sure whether he was a replacement for Scorpius or whether this is a different Malfoy - I look forward to finding out!!
As always you have an amazing story! Look forward to reading more!
Lauren :DAuthor's Response: Hello!
Ooh, hello darling! Its always so lovely to see you back and thanks for coming! You're welcome to read and review anytime you like and I shall be doing the same soon!
Ah, I had to put in there how much George loves his daughter, Roxanne is such a daddy's girl and its so apparent in that dance, right? Hahah. The fact that he still gets sad about everything was a point I wanted to make, but I didn't want it to be as if he neglected his family because of it. George has healed quite a bit from the past and I loved that you enjoyed it, he's a good boy! :D
The Weasley clan is SO hard to write, I got a little confused on who was who and who had to be where. But I survived it somehow. Though, not without crying a little and eating my share of cupcakes.
Yeah, alot of people keep mentioning that its sort of a little off-putting for Roxanne to call her brother "Perce" but I'm glad that you got used o it eventually. I might go into better detail about that later on, there's more of a reason as to why she does it, not just because his name is sooo long. Hahaha.
Ooh, Percy. I adore him and Audrey and she has lightened him up alot so he's not quite as stuffy, though he can be a but uptight on occasion, depending on what he's doing. Hahaha.
Yay, I was so worried about my Roxanne, I took her in a different direction than some of the other fics I've read. I wasn't sure if it would come acros very well but thanks! :)
She's so like George and she's so like Angelina, I think I got a good balance with her and those two always make me smile. Oh, Georgelina! Live on! :3
Hahah, oh, Benjamin. He's not a replacement for Scorpius really, since that little demon is only ten years old in this story. Thanks for stopping by and its always appreciated! >_<
Gabbie Report Review
Hey, I'm back with part 2 of your review!
Given that this line 'rough pad of his thumb caress the soft line of her jaw' implies that there probably was more than just friendship going on between the two, I can assume correctly, right?
Typical Percy offering a hand to start a friendship. He never seem to have got the concept of a friend did he? I almost feel sorry for him, the way he conducted friends like he conducted a ministry deal!
Draco's intriguing me in this chapter you mention that he used to pretend to be nice, and I could see that in the flashblack, but as a Malfoy and a Slytherin he must have had ulterior motives. I can't wait to find out more about this!
Ben is an interesting character, I'm wondering why Draco adopted him, so I hope that's explained later on. Just a quick question is Scorpius not in the story? Please say he is, as he is pretty awesome. One thing on Ben, it would be nice to see he has at least one nice trait, otherwise I would seriously question why someone as lovely as Roxanne is friends with him!
Dom-Dom is also an intersting character(you have a lot of them!), the fact she seems rather shy is rather different to fan fiction, but I'm eager to see why. Also to see why she stutters.
Overall I thought this was another great chapter, as you've introduced some awesome characters and I'm eager to see how they progess. I also love it's from Roxanne's persepective as that's a rather unexplored one. Feel free to re-request as I've loved all of what you've written so far, Kiana :)xAuthor's Response: Hello!
Welcome back! Thanks for your first lovely review, it really made my day. :3
There was a tad more going on between Roxanne and Ben but its more based on what neither of them will admit to. Slight sexual tension that might prove to ruin them both actually but that's for later! ;)
Oh, Percy. I adore him and I know what you mean, I feel sort of sorry for him now that I think about how his life at Hogwarts might have been.
Draco actually isn't the villain in this story but he does have alot of secrets. You'll just have to wait and see what they are, now won't you? :3
I explain why Ben was adopted later on in greater detail, its something that actually shadows his whole character. Draco's had him since he was a baby so it wasn't a recent thing, he's all he knows.
Oh, Scorpius Malfoy is only ten years old in this story! He's in my other story, "Albus Potter and the Dark Lord's Prince" so it'd be weird if he and Roxanne were hooking up. Right? Hahahaha.
Ben isn't quite a likeable character but he has SOME redeeming qualalities and I hope you can sense them. He's not so bad. All the time. I think.
Oh, Dom-Dom! People really seem to like her, don't they? I might go into more detail about her and her stutter later. I'd wanted to do another story with her sometime down the line but I might do it sooner.
Thanks for coming back, I totally just re-requested and hope that you enjoy the next few chapters. But feel free to come back whenever you want, I always like talking to new people and such! Or else, I'll see you on the forums! ;)
Gabbie Report Review
Hey Gabbie! I'm here avec your review! I was immediately excited because my sister is called Roxanna so she basically has an HP character with the same name which is super cool!
I really liked how you included Lee and Alicia as it was nice to see that they ended up together, despite Lee's attempts of getting Angelina to date him at Hogwarts he still ended up happy! I liked it as people tend to forget about the quidditch team, even though were a massive part of their lives, so it was nice to see Alicia included. Yay Oliver and Katie made an appearance as well! And they're together double yay! You've got to love Olatie, Kaliver(?) stories ;D
I thought it was nice to change Fred's name to Perce, however at times I did confused when Percy and Perce where mentioned close together who was who.
I thought you captured the fun loving atmosphere of Roxanne's home brilliantly, and it's exactly what I imagined life would be like, if I was raised by George and Angelina!
I liked that you made Audrey Chinese, as Percy always seemed rather drab and boring, but the fact that his wife is rather exotic for the Weasley clan makes him perhaps more interesting than I thought he was!
Another note on the Weasley clan, I was so glad to see them all there. The only suggestion I would give is more clarity on everyone's ages, as I did find it confusing over who was in what year, and who wasn't in Hogwarts anymore.
Ooh! A Malfoy! How controversial to be seen with a Weasley! I can't wait to get to know the backstory behind this as it's bound to be intriguing!
Overal I thought this was a great start, as it was really funny and entertaining! I really enjoyed Roxanne's perspective as it's one I've never really read before! I'm off to the next chapter now! Kiana :)Author's Response: HellO!
Thanks for coming to read this, its always nice reading your lovely reviews! :3 Your sister has a pretty awesome name, she must be quite pleased with herself! Hahaha.
You know, I never stopped thinking that the Quidditch team went their separate ways without keeping in touch. I like to think that they loved each other then, fought together at Hogwarts and love each other even more. If that makes any sense? I think going through something like that is really traumatic and that you need as much love as you can get. :D
Alicia and Lee got together, yes and Oliver and Katie! Hm. Kaliver? I like that one! Hahah. Uhm, let's see Lalicia? I dunno. Hahhaaha.
I thought I'd try something a little different with Fred the Second by having Roxie call him by his middle name. But it did get a tad confusing on who was who after a minute so I might make sure to add in some things so you all don't get confused. :3
Roxanne's home is all about love and destruction, if you're living with George destroying things I mean. Hahah. She's got a happy home life. :D
With Audrey, I had to do something different and I thought that there should be a bit more diversity in the Weasley clan. I like to see Percy with someone he can't handle and she has her own story which explains all about that. Oh, yes, Percy isn't quite the same stuffy git from the HP books. He's changed quite a bit. :)
Oh, the kid's ages. I should have gone into more detail about it but I sort of ignored it for later. I actually have it written down somewhere...just got to find my notes because they're all at least a year or two apart. :p
Hahaha, yes! A Malfoy! An OC Malfoy boy that I dumped on poor little Roxanne and things sort of go down hill from here for her. :3
Not too many Roxanne fics out there, which is a shame and I'm glad that you enjoyed this, thanks so much for coming with this great review! :D
Gabbie Report Review
love the plot.. i like reading fic about roxanne...Author's Response: Hello!
Thanks for stopping by! There aren't too many fanfics with Roxanne Weasley as a main character and I'm really glad that you like the plot of this too. For some reason, she's sort of a hard character to get just right sometimes but thanks for the review!
Gabbie Report Review
So I had a really difficult choosing what I wanted to read off of your page!! There is a tremendous amount of diversity there, so kudos to you for that. I was torn between this and your Astoria fic (I want to save your georgelina for when I finish mine -- don't want to muddle my mind at all, lol), but I eventually chose this seeing as there are't many Roxanne fics on the archive.
I thought that you have a really unique and interesting take on all of the extended Weasley family!! I was a little thrown by you calling Fred, Perce but I got used to it as the story progressed. Percy and Audrey were my favorite!! I really like your take on George and Angelina, and thought that your characterization of Roxanne was wonderful!!
I do wonder if maybe there was an awful lot of detail in this one little chapter -- it could very well be a bit overwhelming for readers new to the next gen genre or even to experienced readers. I was able to follow along easily enough, but I think that when I read later chapters I may pause and wonder what details belonged to which people.
This is only a minor, stylistic suggestion, though!! All in all, I thought that this was a lovely chapter!! I am very intrigued about this Benjamin Malfoy -- any reason you didn't use Scorpius?? I think it's really cool that you are trying something different by giving Malfoy an adoptive son. good for you.
Great work!! I'm anxious to see how chapter two plays out (and to read astoria ... and eventually your georgelina). &hearts.Author's Response: Hey! :D
*Fangirls* Oh, my goodness! I don't even know what to say, thank you so much! *fangirls again* I was just about to log off but decided to look at my stories one more time (To see if anyone answered my reviews, to be honest, hehe) when I noticed that I got one more bump on this story.
I wasn't at all sure what you would stop by to review, to be honest. I couldn't think what you might have liked the most but this wasn't the story that I thought you'd hop onto! But I suppose you could save my Astoria story for later and my Georgelina is calling your name! Give in to temptation! Hahah.
Nah, don't do that, its cool.
Or is it?
Anyway, I noticed that there weren't alot of Roxanne stories on the archive, which I thought was a shame. I had written this story, originally titled as "Growth" but got rid of it when I couldn't get it to go where I needed.
It was so hard writing all of those Weasleys and my details got really muddled after a while and I aplogozie. Its a bad habit of mine that I make in all of my stories, I have to start cutting back on them a little.
And edit more. Hehehe.
With Roxanne calling her brother "Perce" instead of Fred, I just wanted to try something different. It might come up later in more depth but for now, its just a nickname that I hope doesn't bug anyone. Heheh.
Percy/Audrey forever! >_< I love them!
Georgelina FOREVER! Hahaha. I'd had a better grasp of those two since doing my story so writing them wasn't really that hard this time.
I think? Hahaha.
Benjamin! Yep, I'd wanted to try something a little different instead of using Scorpius. (I will tell you now that I spell his name wrong, going on a typo so its Scorpious. Not that its important or anything.) In my NG, Scorpius is actually still eleven, ten in this fanfic so him and Roxanne hooking up is sort of, uhm, naughty. Haha.
Benjamin himself is a good character to write for since he's an OC. But you might not like him too much towards the last chapter I have up if you keep reading. >:D
Thanks so much for coming to read this and I hope to see you around on the forums! :D
So many hearts!
Gabbie Report Review
Great chapter! I like the relationships you've built with Roxanne and her family, they're very authentic! To be honest though, I feel bad that Roxanne gets labelled spoiled, when she reacts to situations like anyone would. She was really upset when her brother was rude to her friend, and then upset when that same friend was rude to her-- all fair reactions. After the latest thing with Ben I don't really see her at fault either, yeah she was a little foolish, but at the same time, she had known him for many years and trusted him, he wasn't a random stranger she went home with. It was more her naivete that got her into trouble but not necessarily a result of her being spoiled. I'm really interested to know what exactly happened that caused their falling out and him leaving, Ben clearly said some hurtful things about her but I wonder where his head was at when he said them and how she came to know about it. Anyway- great update and I'm excited to read what's coming up next :)Author's Response: Hello!
Its great to see you again, you just keep surprising me! When I first had this story up, it didn't really get noticed and so I tweaked alot of things with the story. :D Its so nice seeing people coming back to it!
Anyhoo, I love writing for Roxanne's family, especially with her parents and brother. I didn't want George/Angelina to seem as if they had a bad marriage or were just "together" for the kids. I've read some things like that in some fanfics (Not on this site I don't think) and I like to picture their home a bit more lively. Its filled with alot of love too and Roxanne is the sort of girl that doesn't know what its like to NOT have her family with her. And it takes a looong time for me to think of how to write for the rest of the Weasley/Potter clan. I just have to play on my instincts with them and its been working rather well too. With the girls like Victoire and Dom-Dom not being perfect to Roxanne's brother not being completely innocent when it comes to bullying, its been a challenge.
A fun one, though. :D
There are some aspects of Roxanne's character that are rather spoiled. I did it on purpose just to show how naive and innocent she was and I'm wondering if people are disliking her for it. I'm not going to portray her as a girl without flaws but you do have a point though, with her brother being rude to Ben. Any little girl that loves her older brother would be upset by that and Ben hurting her later on, was just too much. Which is why I put the flashback ahead of the actual story again, just to add more depth to her. And true, Ben wasn't some stranger that she hooked up with, he was someone that she knew. But then again, the Ben she'd known had changed quite a bit. And I think that was something she had to realize and it really stung.
I will get to what caused their friendship to end, I already have it stored in the back of my mind. I have a bad habit of not writing things down, though...so bear with me. Hahah.
Ben did say some pretty awful things about Roxanne but he might have had his reasons. I'll try to get to that side of the story soon, I've got some more stuff to do before then. Sigh.
There's gonna be so much angst...
Anyway, thanks for coming back and much love! I'll see you next time, hopefully!
Gabbie Report Review
All I can say is AH! Question: is her school year going to start soon? and please tell me, despite his complex personality, that Ben tries to win her back. Even if that sounds clichť! But Roxie finds someone better. Much better. and mentally healthier...Author's Response: Hello!
Welcome back (?) and yes, her school year is going to start pretty soon. In about two more chapters, I think because there's something else that I need to get out of the way. Mwhahahhaha.
Ben isn't the type to try to win anyone back but he'll be around. Promise! There's alot going on with him right now and he'll have a few more things to resolve with Roxie before this story is over. ;)
Hahahah! Mentally healthier?! That's like, the funniest thing I've heard today! Ben isn't crazy, at least I don't think so but I suppose there's someone for Roxie other than him. I just have to get to it! Hope you stay tuned!
Gabbie Report Review
THIS CHAPTER WAS SO AMAZING. I love how much detail we get, and Roxie's character is fabulous! You really do put her through a lot, though! I don't think I would be able it stand it if I were her! But she is incredibly strong, especially when you consider why she's so upset! It would be so hard trying to hold yourself together and appear normal after that, especially when you know that your family knows something's up.
George and Angie make me laugh and blush all at the same time! What with the pair of them and Audrey, I'd be mortified if I were one of their kids! I can't blame Perce for being horrified! Haha. And Molly dancing around in her panties! But I know Audrey has seen worse!
I'm happy that Roxie can trust Molly enough to tell her everything that happened and I hope that Molly will understand and comfort her! She needs it!
This chapter was awesome! And I can't wait for A Force of Wills! I'm working on LMT and will get it up as soon as possible, but I'm really busy for the next few weeks, so don't know if I'll get it up before the break... I'll try though! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hello!
Welcome back and thanks so much for reading! For a moment I didn't think that I'd gotten Roxie good enough, I had alot of trouble with her character for this chapter. I wondered if could find that balance between anger, shame and hurt but I think I did okay.
How she's managing at all is pretty surprising but I think that shows she has some back bone. Bwhahaha, George and Angie are hilarious! Did you see some of those jokes they were making?! And Audrey doesn't help and poor Perce, she's like his second mom so he has no real escape. Hahahah.
Hahaha, Molly dancing in her panties! How hilarious was that? Originally, she was singing a dirty song but I took it out for some reason. Roxanne loves Molly more than she does some of her other cousins I think and they're really close. She'll understand! :D
Argh, I'm hoping A Force of Wills is going to be up there today. I think the staff break is tomorrow so hopefully!
Thanks for coming back and good luck on LMT!
Gabbie Report Review
Wow. Hello there. Sorry for the wait but wow. I was not really sure what to expect but that was amazing. The contrast between them as little kids and now is so stark and I love how you add in all these flash backs, they really give your characters a bit more depth.
I almost think that Roxanne needed Benjamin to be such a prat because is shows her that she is spoilt but I absolutly loved the way she handled it. I think she has the potential to be just as strong willed as her mother and I really hope to see her grow and mature as the story progresses. But Benjamin... how could he do that to her? I just want to preform Legilimency on him and delve into his thoughts and work out what is going on in his twisted mind.
I really love this story and can't wait to see where it goes and how Roxanne deals with Benjamin after this. Update soon! And sorry it's been so long,
P.S. Second Choice has another chapter up and waiting.Author's Response: Hello!
Girl on the Sidelines, where have you been for the last few weeks? I was worried that you'd slipped back to your home world or something. Hahahaha.
I think that the flashbacks are really important because they have such a deeper way of looking at the characters. You get a real sense of who they were then and who they are now, which, sort of obviously clues you in to the chapter title. :D
See what I did there? Hahaha.
You know, a bit of reality might have been what Roxanne needed to wake her up. She was thinking that it was all a fantasy world when it wasn't. Ben wasn't and isn't the same as he was before and she really got a taste of that.
Originally, her growth as a character was why I'd had it titled "Growth" in the first place. As the story keeps going, she will grow up, but its going to hurt for her to get there.
Oh, Benjamin. Not my favorite guy right now! You get bits and pieces of why he did it as the story goes along but its going to have you hating him. ALOT. Sorry! D':
Roxanne and Ben don't cross paths again until chapter seven or so. Not sure but its not going to be pretty. >:D
Unlike Ben, who is very attractive.
OH! I noticed that SC has another chapter! I was so pissed yesterday because I didn't have time to read it!
On my end, there's some Audrey for you and A Force of Wills is still going. Whenever you have the time, feel free to read those too!
Much love and welcome back!
Gabbie Report Review
Wow! This was a fantastic chapter! (well not the events haha..but the way you've written them)! Ben...oh Ben..not in my good books right now..
Poor Roxanne, I hope she takes this as a lesson and moves on, show Ben that she's not waiting around until he gets his act together.
Thanks for the update! Can't wait for the next one :)Author's Response: Hello!
You're back! And you've read more! I wasn't sure if I had done a good job on this chapter, it was a bit...uhm, mature, even for me. But I'm glad that I was able to do it well! D':
Oh, Ben...he's going to regret what he's done because Roxanne is not a little simpering miss. At least she won't be for long anyway. Hahahaha. I'll update soon for this! I've got alot of other stuff to do for my other stories but...sigh. I'll be back to it eventually!
Thanks for reading!
Gabbie Report Review
Hello Gabbie! Yay I'm the first review! Woohoo!
I really, really loved this chapter! I think we get to the core of Roxanne and Benjamin's relationship, since neither of them are very romantic people, and they both have nasty tempers. The flashback was brilliant, and I loved seeing how they met, and the contrast between Fred's hatred for Ben, and Roxie's patents' acceptance. And it's interesting that it's easier for Ben to deal with the hatred. I also want to know what's going on with his family! Are we ever going to find out more about that? The end of this chapter was crazy and intense and wonderful, and I can't wait to see what happens next! I'm working on ASOS, and I'll let you know when I put it in the queue! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hello!
Hey, Cassie! You attacked this chapter alot sooner than I would have thought! I'd finished it a while ago and thought, "Meh, no one is going to like this" but you do! :D I send you fat kittens!
Yep, we really got a feeling for Roxanne and Benjamin in this chapter and how they feel about being tied to one another.
I think its really scary for both of them and their tempers are so well-matched that its like gas and fire. They shouldn't be left alone for too long! Hahaha.
Loved that you enjoyed the flashback but they'd already met before but I sort of extended on the previous chapter's flashback I think. But its whatever, I think this flashback gave a better depth to how they felt about each other then.
I think I'll go into more detail about Perce aka Fred the Second's hatred for Ben, there's alot more to it that I hadn't thought of before but have decided to put into the story.
Roxie's parents are something aren't they? They don't hate Benjamin at all but they're not the sort to stop their children from being happy.
Or spoiled to the core, hahaha.
There's alot going on with Benjamin's family right now and I'll slowly, slowly, painstakingly slowly get into more detail about it! Hahaha. Sorry, but I'm a tease! ;)
Ah, that ending...I'd thought that I'd pushed it too far for a minute but it turned out better than I'd thought. I didn't want to hurt Roxie but then again, I thought, "Who am I kidding? I'm Gabbie Hunter and I torture my females without a care for their feelings!" mwhahahahaha.
Ooh, ASOS?! That's got me really excited! Oh, and expect an update (Finally) on "Memories" that one story I had with George/Angie and the others. It should be up by tomorrow!
Thanks for continuing to come back! Your awesome!
Gabbie Report Review
Why hello... again!
So I read this yesterday right after leaving a review for the previous chapter but I'm back to review it now. Because, you know, you're amazing. And so it this freaking story.
So the kiss (or kisses) at the beginning. Are you trying to torture me? They were amazing. You write kisses so well! I loved how she was struggling with herself because it was clear that while her head was saying one thing, her body (and maybe her heart?) were saying another. It was so good!
And he did miss her. No matter what he says. You don't give daises to a girl you didn't miss. And I loved the image of him throwing rocks at her window, I'm not sure why but it made me laugh.
The uncomfortable bits were funny to read too, even if some of them made me cringe inside. The way he sometimes looked at her serves her right for wearing such skimpy clothing. I'm really curious about what's going on with his parents now, I hope you tell us soon... ish. Please. And also, what is happening at Hogwarts this year!? (Might it have something to do with the Quidditch Royale from the last version?) So excited.
And that ending. You're just being mean. That's two chapters in a row you've ended on a kiss. You really are trying to torture us. I love how much Ben wanted that kiss though. But I suppose he is just a teenage boy...
Thanks for the amazing read and I can't wait for more,
GirlOnTheSidelines xAuthor's Response: What's this? GTS?! Hello! :D
I'm glad that you read this so quickly and came back to give me such a nice and thrilling review! You're so nice to this old bird!
The kisses. You have no idea how much I blushed and squirmed while writing them because I get so embarrassed just typing the word! I'm glad that they came out okay though because I was really worried! And yes of course I'm trying to torture you. This is the same person that wrote This is Angelina remember?! Hahahha.
Roxanne had alot of struggling going on with her because her mind was telling her "No" but her body was telling her "Heck yea!"
Ben missed her. He honestly did and that's right, you don't give daisies to a girl you hadn't missed a little bit! For some reason that image of him standing outside of her window throwing rocks stuck in my mind and I might sketch it. Its hilarious to see him glaring up at her window waiting for her to pop out and say something to him. Hahahaha.
Ah, the uncomfortable bits! Done on purpose to, as you say, teach Roxanne a lesson for wearing such skimpy clothing. Benjamin kept commenting on it because he's, well, not in a good mood and her legs of course were amazing. Or perhaps he was a bit into his cups? No one might ever know.
You'll find out what's going on with his parents eventually.ish. I have so many other things to do first though! D':
And yes, the Royale is being hinted at and since you read the original you already know about it but for those who hadn't read it at all, stay quiet! Hahaah. :D
I know, I am being mean but if I'd continued on from where that kiss was leading I wouldn't have had this validated. At all. Its, uhm, pretty heavy stuff and I had to edit this quite a bit to make sure it was okay. ;)
You'll figure out why later I promise.
God, I hope I don't get the next chapter rejected...
Ben really, really wanted that kiss and so much more and I'm afraid that he got it. :p
Roxanne has made a bad choice and its going to bite her in her plump behind! (Ben is pleased by this of course AND her behind)
Yeah, he's a teenage boy...
Or a demon.
Not quite sure sometimes to be honest!
Thanks for coming back and reviewing! You're too nice to me! I'm going to hug your face! >:D
There's A Force of Wills to get to and Albus if you ever wanted to start up reading those again. I should have more chapters for various stories in the future. If I have my way with these darn library computers, that is. D':
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