Reading Reviews for The Wrinkles of the Road
  
171 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Dianainga Scorpius. --- Inner Turmoil.

7th May 2015:
I was thrilled to see a brand new chapter, but very worried about Rose. And, if anything happens to her, I cannot imagine how Scorpius will bear the guilt! He needs James and Albus, for sure. I do hope for the best and cannot wait to read your next chapter. Pulling for Rose to wake up with little or no side effects. Great story!

Author's Response: Thank you! I just posted the newest chapter; James and Albus have indeed finally shown up, and I hope you enjoy their reactions to all of this (and, of course, the chapter as a whole).

Thanks so much for taking the time to review, and I hope you enjoy the newest chapter, too. ♥


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Review #27, by LittleMissAutumn Scorpius. --- Inner Turmoil.

7th May 2015:
Oh my gosh! I still can't believe the things Scorpius told Ron! I was biting on my fist and couldn't tear my eyes away but oh I still adore that boy. His chapters are always my favorite. I think Rose is quite self-centered and she needed Van to put her in her place, which seemed to work since a part of her realized that she needs to be more compromising with Scorpius.

I think she'll wake up though and that Scorpius really did make the right decision. She may have trouble having children but I have hope that she'll be able to eventually and that her and Scorpius will have a long, loving life together.

Update soon please!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you're enjoying Scorpius's chapters as much as I'm enjoying writing them - he's so much fun, especially when he loses his temper. :P I hope you like the newest chapter! ♥

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Review #28, by becca Scorpius. --- A Confrontation with the Weasleys.

7th May 2015:
Update NOW
I started CINAS two days ago and finished this now
And I have my semester exams going on
And I'm a medical student
And I'm totally hooked
I can't sleep, study, eat or rest till I know what happens next.
So please for the love of God put me out of my misery

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! It's so wonderful to hear that my writing is so... well, addictive. ♥ I put you out of your misery by posting the next chapter a day early - does that count? :P

Good luck on your exams! :) :)


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Review #29, by SunshineDaisies Scorpius. --- An Unexpected Friendship.

6th May 2015:
Hello!

I went back and read through the first few chapters again and the new beginnings and endings work perfectly! Having all the chapters start in a brand new scene somehow makes the whole thing work together much more effectively.

The flow was good all the way through what I read tonight, so it seems to me the rest of the story will keep on trend. :)

I think the group of Rose chapters actually worked really well! It was a bit out of pattern, but I think that's what's best for the story. Rose is where the bulk of the action is for that set of chapters, so it makes sense to keep the narrative focused on her. I know I was far more interested in seeing the lunch from Rose's point of view, and having those three chapters focus on the build up, then the event, then her reactions is really nice to read. It keeps her thoughts and feelings more cohesive. It would've felt a bit disjointed to jump right into Scorpius's thoughts and feelings.

And just when I was starting to miss Scorpius's pov, this chapter happened! The timing was absolutely perfect.

As for chapter specific things, I loved reading about James and Scorpius. I haven't read CINAS, so it didn't seem terribly surprising for me, but I did enjoy the fact that Scorpius seemed surprised. It was a really nice conversation between the two, and I really look forward to seeing more of their friendship!

I really liked reading about Scorpius's reaction to the lunch, and his reaction to Rose's reaction. I love that they aren't a perfect couple. They argue and disagree about all sorts of things, but then work really hard to fix it because they love each other. It's so nice to read about a relationship that's realistic in this way. It doesn't happen terribly often.

Like last time, this was a really lovely read and I'm excited to read the rest! :)

Author's Response: Hey! I'm so glad that you thought the changes I made worked - thank you again for pointing out the issues. You're wonderful. ♥

I'm also really happy the clump of Rose chapters worked. There are a few points in the story where there's a clump of one or the other - I'm currently in the middle of what's probably going to be a clump of six or seven Scorpius chapters in a row, because the narrative kind of requires it, and I always worry when that happens... but at the same time, I obviously don't want to break them up just to break them up.

I'm glad you liked Scorpius and James. In CINAS, they weren't quite enemies, but they weren't friends, either - I'm happy that Scorpius's surprise worked for you, having not read CINAS! I really do want this to be able to stand on its own, because it's a very different kind of story.

I'm also really happy that their relationship is coming across as realistic, because that was something that was really important to me. I don't want it all to be smooth sailing, but I also don't want to let their affection and attachment get lost. It's a balancing act, and I'm perpetually nervous that I'm not getting it right. :P

Thank you so much for your wonderful review! ♥ ♥


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Review #30, by QuillIce97 Scorpius. --- A Confrontation with the Weasleys.

5th May 2015:
I'll be happy as long as it's updated really
Also , if that's you're real name , it's really unique , at least in my part of the world 😊

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! ♥

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Review #31, by killjoy Scorpius. --- A Confrontation with the Weasleys.

5th May 2015:
I loved this for no other purpose than I've always hated Hermione's "I'm so much smarter than you so everything I think is right."attitude. Just like how she wanted to free all the elves just because she thought it was wrong when the elves didn't want to be freed. Her and Ron have used their war hero status to get what they want for so long they don't like it when it doesn't work.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for the review!

Yes, I do think that Hermione and Ron have certainly used their power at times to sidestep procedures and get what they want - on some level, that's inevitable, IMO, particularly when it comes to something as emotionally charged as this issue. I do think that their frustration is understandable, though Scorpius's reaction is, too - it's just such a mess!

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked the chapter! ♥


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Review #32, by cocopops Scorpius. --- A Confrontation with the Weasleys.

4th May 2015:
Omg! Yay for a new chapter! So glad that you're almost finished with the editing. It's been super sad to see the story being updated on your currently reading list, clicking on it and realizing that you were just editing some of the older chapters.

Anyways, about this chapter. Wow. Just wow. I think Scorpious went a bit mad haha! Totally not judging, since parents can be a pain in the butt, but still. I was so sure Hermione was going to punch him in the face and repeating history. Thanks for the awesome story! Feeling nervous about the Rose situation though.

Author's Response: Aww, sorry it was disappointing! I have added a lot of new chapters earlier on with Scorpius's pov, if you haven't seen them, but yeah, I'm sorry I left you guys on the hook even longer. :P It's finally being continued, though, and I'm really glad you enjoyed this chapter (in which you're totally right - Scorpius definitely went a bit mad :P). I hope you continue to, and thank you so much for this lovely review! ♥ ♥

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Review #33, by ayumi Rose. --- An Uncomfortable Conversation.

30th April 2015:
part of me is still rly worried that they're gonna break up soon or at least come across lots more conflict...especially coz of rose's acromantula injury?? I think their different interests will always be some point of contention but hopefully they'll be able to work it out?? I just don't know...I'll be heart broken if they do break up tho :( but well written as always!!

Author's Response: I shouldn't say *too* much :P, but I will say this - there are going to start to be other significant conflicts in the story besides tension in their relationship very soon. (Well, starting with the new chapter of Scorpius's yelling match with Ron and Hermione, which I've just put up.)

I'm not sure if that helps or not. :P Thank you so much for your wonderful review, though! ♥


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Review #34, by ayumi Rose. --- Avoidance and Seduction.

29th April 2015:
i'm not sure how rose can think that this plan will work...but i guess we'll see? i get the feeling that scorpius isn't even completely serious about breaking up so it'll be fine anyway (won't it?? please say yes i'll be devastated if they don't last)

Author's Response: Yeah, you're right that Scorpius wasn't really trying to have a genuine "Rose-I-think-we-should-break-up" conversation there, though it definitely did sort of come across that way. Whether they last or not... well, that would be telling, wouldn't it? ;)

Thank you so much for your review! ♥


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Review #35, by ayumi Scorpius. --- What Cousins Are For.

29th April 2015:
it's great to see johanna develop more as a character altho now I'm kinda worried about rose and scorpius' relationship...rly well written as always! can't wait for more updates

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I love Johanna, so I'm always really happy to slip her into stories. :P Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #36, by Ayumi Scorpius. --- A New Assignment.

28th April 2015:
DRAMA!! Loved it as usual, especially Rebecca to be honest because her irritation isn't entirely unfounded...can't wait for the next chapter!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your reviews - and yeah, I otally agree about Rebecca! ♥ ♥

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Review #37, by Celeste Scorpius. --- A New Assignment.

28th April 2015:
I love this story. Love all your stories pretty much. This one I read upto the unedited chapters cause I started to read them then I got all confused and lost so I decided to leave them untill they were edited or it made more sence. So I don't know anything about the cliffe I'll just wait then cry then wait some more.

Ohhh that Rebecca just needs to stfu. Who the flip cares if Scorp is getting an amazing chance and she's obviously jealous. Cause she couldn't even be bothered to have a proper go and maybe get a good opertuinity. Gotten off track. Love the change in point of views it's great and shows different sides of the characters.

Keep up the amazing work and can't wait for more chapters.

Author's Response: Hey, Celeste! Thank you so much! ♥

Yeah, Rebecca's definitely jealous. I do understand why - he's definitely getting special treatment - but at the same time... yeah, her ire is definitely directed at the wrong place.

I've finally finished editing all the chapters, so it should all make sense now! ♥


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Review #38, by Guest Rose. --- Returning to Work.

25th April 2015:
I love the details added about Scorpius in these edits! It makes the story feel more rounded (though, I loved it before as well!). Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm glad the edits come off well and makes the story feel more rounded (I totally know what you mean - I'm glad I succeeded in that!). ♥

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Review #39, by Maddie Rose. --- A Weasley Family Saturday.

24th April 2015:
Omg love your story !

Author's Response: Thank you! ♥

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Review #40, by Ren_star Scorpius. --- An Unpleasant Revelation.

22nd April 2015:
Great story. Hate the cliff hanger. Hope you update us soon on Rose. I like how you showed the emotional side of Scorpius And have him open up to Rose. Scorpio should have yelled out that he didn't know he was the prox. keep up the great work.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I've now moved that conversation to the next chapter and - er - spiced it up a little more (and explained why he didn't want to tell them that he didn't know, which I didn't properly address before). I'm not sure what you'll think of it, but I hope you enjoy it this time around, too! ♥ Thank you for the review!

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Review #41, by DragonPatronus Rose. --- Falling Into Bad Habits.

22nd April 2015:
I feel like I've missed a huge part of the story between the last 2 chapters. What did Rose and Scorpius fight about? At the end of the last chapter he apparated her home and they were happy? Good chapter otherwise but it would be good to be able to join the dots a bit easier. Also her new attraction to Dedworth is a bit sudden.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review! I can see why you felt confused - I'm actually in the middle of editing the story. The chapters with the POV character at the beginning of the title (e.g., "Rose. --- The Letter.") have been edited, but this one hasn't yet. I'm working on getting the new chapters up as quickly as possible - I should have the edits up by the end of the month. :)

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Review #42, by Guest Scorpius. --- Disturbing Injuries.

20th April 2015:
I've been reading for a while, and love these new chapter additions. It's really great to see Scorpius's views and his life besides Rose. Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you're enjoying the new chapters. :)

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Review #43, by ayumi Scorpius. --- Disturbing Injuries.

19th April 2015:
I am loving the scorpius povs!! I love reading how he thinks and feels etc as well as rose because they're so different but so similar and compatible at the same time...I love all the healing descriptions as well!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad they're working for you! ♥

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Review #44, by SunshineDaisies Scorpius. --- Colliding Callings.

18th April 2015:
And this chapter is back on track with the great transition.

I like the sort of side by side story telling that you're doing, it's just a little rough at the seams. The transitions from Rose to Scorpius work wonderfully, but are a bit off from Scorpius to Rose, and that sort of makes Scorpius's chapters seem out of place. Which is really a shame because the story itself works very well from two perspectives, and actually I think Scorpius's POV is a great enhancement to the story overall. I can't imagine reading this without them.

And because I know I really like when people are very specific in their reviews, here's what I've noticed. I think the Rose to Scorpius transitions work so well because the Scorpius chapters pick up immediately where Rose's leave off. The Scorpius to Rose transitions are a bit rougher because there's nothing connecting the chapters together. There isn't a better or worse way to start a chapter, but when the two very different types of beginnings are so close together, it makes the story feel a bit disjointed.

I would actually recommend just adding the Scorpius chapters to the end of the Rose chapters, but your chapters are a pretty solid length already. So I think going through and adding a little to the beginning of the Rose chapters to sort of string them together will make the whole thing flow very nicely.

And while I'm here, I think your Draco is excellent. I think he is an especially difficult one to handle, especially 25+ years into the future, because who knows how he would have grown? I think you did a really great job of making him less passionate and more compassionate.

Great work and absolutely wonderful story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! You've been so incredibly helpful with your feedback about the transitions - I can totally see how Scorpius-to-Rose could come off as awkward, because the Scorpius chapters have been added in after the fact and I haven't necessarily smoothed it over sufficiently. I've gone back to the Rose chapters and tried to improve that - hopefully you'll feel like I succeeded when I rerequest. :)

I'm also really happy you like the way I've portrayed Draco - he's definitely hard to handle, but I've always been very firm about stagnation on the part of Hogwarts-era characters so far in the future. I wanted to show character development and growth, because god, I can't even say how much I've changed since I was 17 or 18. And that wasn't so so long ago, either! Still, though, it makes me nervous... so I'm really happy it came off well. ♥ Thank you for the review!

Branwen


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Review #45, by SunshineDaisies Rose. --- Out On a Limb.

18th April 2015:
Hello again!

I'm not sure if you went through and edited Rose's chapters along with adding Scorpius's, but I think the way this chapter starts makes the story a bit choppy. Starting this chapter in the same place the last chapter began feels a bit like backtracking. I was very conscious of the fact that I needed to rewind my mental timeline.

The first sentence of the chapter seems a bit wordy, cutting it down may make the transition a bit smoother.

Other than that, this was stellar!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this feedback - it's been incredibly useful! I actually went through and rearranged things so that it picked up after the Scorpius chapter ended, and I added the Lucy scene to the end. I'm not sure if that will help, but I'm hoping it does, because I totally see what you mean.

Thank you for the review!

Branwen


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Review #46, by SunshineDaisies Scorpius. --- Plans for the Future.

15th April 2015:
I think this chapter is an excellent transition between two character pov chapters. It picks up a little bit after we'd left off, but it starts with a scene different enough that it stays interesting. The first sentence really does a lot to tie the two together. It makes perfect sense for the story to pick up with him here, so we get more of a sense of him as a character and his thoughts concerning Rose and his family.

I think parts of this chapter seemed a little off pace compared to the previous one. It feels like it covers a significantly longer period of time, but in roughly the same amount of words. It makes it seem a little rushed.

This is most notable in the middle of the chapter, between Scorpius leaving the Potters and going to St. Mungo's. I love how you transitioned here, without using line breaks. It seemed very smooth and natural, but I ended up being a bit confused as to when the scene at Mungo's takes place. I wasn't sure if it was immediately after the Potters or if it was the next day. I think you allude pretty strongly to it being the next day, but I think a line or two of action would really make that clear.

I think this is a really good place to end the chapter as well. The scene is wrapped up perfectly and it's a great place to switch to a different scene and a different pov entirely. It's great.

Like I said in my first review, I think this story is so wonderful and I think this chapter was really great. And it really is so much fun to read! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review - this is *exactly* what I was hoping you'd notice and point out! ♥ I went back and added a line or two that should hopefully make the progression a little clearer - you're totally right that it was a little confusing, and hopefully I've fixed that.

I'm not quite sure what to do about the pace - I do see what you mean, though! - so I'm going to have to think more about how I can address that. :)

Thank you so much for the review, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so much!


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Review #47, by SunshineDaisies Rose. --- A Weasley Family Saturday.

15th April 2015:
Hi! So first off, I'm so sorry that I PM'd you about reviewing and then fell asleep. I meant to get to this much sooner! Sleep is just so tempting.

Second, I think this is a really wonderful start to this story! It's a great way to introduce the characters, and it's always refreshing to read a story where the couple is already together, rather than falling in love.

The whole premise of the story it's so interesting, I love it. It plays into all of my fic interests in a completely different way than I would ever imagine and I love it. So you know, thanks for requesting. :)

I'm sure you've heard all of that before but it never hurts to hear it again.

I'm planning on leaving more specific reviews on the next three chapters, but I wanted to give you a little general feedback as well.

I think that this story works really well from two perspectives. I think it's important to know what Scorpius's thoughts are, because I think it would be easy to pass off his request just from Rose's perspective. Definitely a wise decision to include the new chapters. :)

The main thing I've noticed is that chapters 3 and 4 don't transition as well as the first two. Chapter 3 starts before chapter 2 ends, and it made it a little hard for me to follow the chronology.

Other than that though, I think the chapters fit together very well!

Author's Response: Aw, no worries! Sleep is totally tempting. For a little while, I was be able to pretend it wasn't, but that phase didn't last. (Also, it's taken me a couple days to respond, so I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I minded.)

I'm so glad this plays into a lot of your interests! I thought it *might,* from the things you said you liked, but I wasn't sure because it seemed like it sort of hit on a lot of them but didn't quite squarely hit on any.

Thank you so much for reviewing this. ♥ I really, really appreciate it.


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Review #48, by Kristina1990 Scorpius. --- An Unpleasant Revelation.

10th April 2015:
First of all, I just realised that you have (finally! :)) found the time to continue with the story. It makes me very happy, because I always appreciated your interpretation of Rose and Scorpius.

The last chapters made it quite obvious that the character differences between Rose and Scorpius clash more and more as they becomes more invested in their jobs. While they both try to understand their differences and opinions, they struggle hard to make it work. I hope they find a way. They are best together :).

I like the shift in perspective, because it gives a nice change in pace and thoughts. I wouldn't mind more of them.

Hope you find time to update soon!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! Yes, there are definitely going to be more shifts in perspective, both before this chapter and after it - I'm planning to ultimately make this about equal in terms of Rose's pov and Scorpius's. There are four or five Scorpius chapters that are actually going to slot in before this at various spots, and then I'll continue on with this plotline.

Thank you so much for your review! ♥


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Review #49, by greenphantomme Scorpius. --- An Unpleasant Revelation.

10th April 2015:
I really like the story, characters and mystery you have going! I can't wait to find out more about what's happening.

One piece of writing advice for something I noticed on reading through all the chapters - Rose and Scorpius say 'I love you' a lot. More than a lot, really, every instance where they're together they're both saying it. Unless you're specifically designing the story this way - it almost comes across as dysfunctional. Like they're trying to convince themselves of it and don't really believe it. You know the old adagé: show, don't tell. There are certainly ways to show this that would be more powerful than those 3 words, because they've kind of lost their meaning now and I'm missing a lot of the character building/defining moments that could be happening in their place. Real conversations and activities. Not to say that people can't still be a bit dysfunctional and love each other. Perfect people aren't real. But all the 'I love you's' with the insecure thoughts characters are having are coming across as insincere and fake.. and then I'm wondering why they're still together. Convenience? Boredom?
But - this might be intentional, so if it is you can ignore this rant! haha

Anywho, I'm excited to find out where this adventure will take us. I love the career path Rose and Scorpius are on and I'm sure lots of exciting things are bound to happen. I really like the comradeship between Van and Vic as well. Those are some of my favourite scenes! I think their characters are very well developed.

Cheers, and can't wait for the next chapter. :) Hope you don't take my musings as too harsh - just trying to offer some advice!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I definitely don't think you were too harsh - I'm actually going through and editing this story (including adding in a lot more chapters before continuing it) for Camp NaNo, and part of why I wanted to do that was because I felt like the story was a little too haphazard and lacked a really cohesive narrative of their relationship and their career paths thus far. I'm glad you mentioned the "I love you" thing in particular - you're totally right, and I'm keeping on the lookout for that while I edit.

Thank you so much for your review - it was really, really helpful. ♥


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Review #50, by Pilar Scorpius. --- An Unpleasant Revelation.

24th March 2015:
I found cinas first on fan fiction and headed over to this site to read this, and I'm so glad I did!! This is seriously one of the best stories out there; your writing is amazing and I love the plot of cinas and this!! Definitely approve of the pov change, and would love to see a healthy mix of both rose and scorpius in the future. I hope rose has no fertility issues!! Pleasepleaseplease update soon

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much! I'm actually *just* finishing up editing CINAS, and then I'll get started on editing this (and then continuing it, obviously). I hope you'll check out the edited CINAS when it goes up and that you like the changes! ♥

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