Hello again! :)

I read your response to my last review, and I totally understand where you're coming from with the unconventional characterization of Ginny. It makes sense since it was only the beginning of the school year; I was forgetting that. ^^

I think you did a really good job with this chapter; portraying Hermione's and Ginny's contrasting views was very unique. It makes sense that in these tough circumstances being the different people that they are, they would have different solutions to their problems. The use of the song lyrics also effectively helped to convey that message.

I think you characterized Hermione brilliantly; I had no problem at all following her train of thought. The descriptions of her longing for things to be back to normal, and of her analysis of Ron, were flawless and seemed realistic. All of this seemed that this could very well be a missing moment of canon, and I commend you for that!

One thing I noticed:

+ ...gingerly folding her shirts and pants and tucking them carefully into her bag, which she had charmed to make it bottomless.

^ The 'it' here isn't needed, and the sentence would flow better without it.

Overall, it was this was a very well-written piece. Good job! ^^

~Chocolate_Frog

Author's Response: Ooh, thanks for that! I see what you're saying, and I may go back and edit it later when I have more time. I appreciate you pointing it out.

It seemed like it came from canon? Oh my, thank you! That was one of my goals in writing this piece (and many of my one-shots). I'm glad that the song lyrics were effective and the contrasting moods came across well for you. That's so good to hear!

Thanks for another kind (and quick) review :)

academica

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This was really beautiful. It was poetic enough to be a one-shot, and I can't wait until Hermione and Ron come into the picture. 10/10

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for stopping by for a read! I'm really glad you liked the first part, and the Ron/Hermione portion will be up when I finish writing it (assuming my muse cooperates). Thanks for leaving such a kind review :)

academica

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What an enjoyable little story this proved to be! I really like it! It was real to the desperation Ginny must have felt sometimes during that year and yet so romantic! Well, done! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by! I'm glad you liked the first part of the story and felt that I conveyed the spirit of the times in an appropriate way. The Ron/Hermione half will be posted as soon as I finish writing it. Thanks for your kind review :)

academica

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Awesome. Write another chapter.

Author's Response: Glad you liked it! The second part (Ron/Hermione) will be coming as soon as I can get my muse to cooperate :)

Thanks for your kind review!

academica

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Here with your review.

First off, sorry for taking so long to review this story, work has kept me busy the past two days.

Honestly, I hate Coldplay but that did not stop me from loving your story :)

I think that your characterisation of Ginny was spot-on! No one (except JK) knew what was going on in Hogwarts at that time but we all know that it was terrible.

Your description and imagery was beautiful. As I was reading it I could imagine everything. I also liked it how there was no dialogue in this chapter; it added to the emotion.

I think that you wrote the Harry and Ginny relationship well, especially seeing we only got Ginny's side of the relationship :)
All in all, brilliant chapter :)
*Jaz, 9/10

Author's Response: Hey there! That's fine, I understand :)

You hate Coldplay? Oh my! Well, thank you for reviewing my story anyway :) I'm glad the lyrics didn't keep you from enjoying the story.

I'm happy that you liked the way I characterized Ginny, and also that the imagery worked well for you. I tend to write very little dialogue into my one-shots, and so I'm pleased that you found that effective.

Thanks for your kind review! :)

academica

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Firstly, let me preface this by saying that I tend to have a slight aversion to FF Ginny. However, I feel like this short little story did a wonderful job of taking Ginny as JKR wrote her and showing us her thoughts.

The song lyrics were so perfect for the snippet of time that you portrayed here. I also appreciate that only four lines of the song appear at the beginning. I find it a bit jarring when every paragraph of fic is interrupted by lyrics. This was done very well.

Now onto Ginny and this moment in time. Gahh. I don't even know. I couldn't imagine being in Ginny's position. Just as brave and competent and willing to be involved as the rest of the trio (for lack of a better noun), yet always she is set aside and left behind, told that she is too young etc. etc. I think it's beautiful here to know that Ginny loves Harry, worries for him and supports him. The musings of her mind imagining her wedding gown and she and Harry's children made my heart ache. There on that tower, she didn't know if fate would ever bring Harry back to her alive, but she was brave enough to dream of a future for them.

I also admire that you were able to provide many layers of Ginny. She blames Harry a tad. She is a bit resentful that he is off somewhere and she is stuck in the Hell that is Hogwarts. I think that is very reasonable and natural to feel that way. The state of Hogwarts presented here is so stark and different from the Hogwarts we come to know through the books; it's perfect.

Overall, this was a fabulous song-fic that I really enjoyed reading!!

Melissa

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review swap :)

You know, I tend to agree with you about Ginny. Lately I've been doing these little challenges with myself where I try to write characters I don't particularly like or don't care much about. For example, though I'm hardcore Snily, I recently tried a Jily piece, and I gained a new appreciation for James. I kind of felt some of that here with Ginny, too. I feel like I could relate to her feelings if I were in her position -- I would likely also feel scared, alone, hopeless, all of that. I'm glad the song worked for you as well; I'm a bit enamored with it. Can't stop listening to it!

I'm so glad you liked my characterization of her! I've gotten a bit of flack from readers for not including more about the DA, her fiery, red-headed personality, her hatred for the Carrows, all of that. But I like to uncover the more subtle layers of characters, and so I pushed that stuff to the backdrop and tried to choose a moment in which it's too early to know what to do or what will come for her. I definitely wanted to convey that she was frustrated with Harry but loved him deeply and wanted nothing more than his safe return. I also agree that her dreams do represent a kind of bravery, a light in the darkness of the time. I'm so pleased all of it worked for you! :)

Thanks for your very kind review! Let me know if you want to swap again sometime :)

Amanda

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It's me from the forums with your review!

I have to say that the descriptions and imagery in this story were amazingly well done. That's one thing I've consistently noticed in what I've read of your stories. You did an excellent job at describing the climate that existed at Hogwarts at the time, and you could feel the danger and suspicion lurking behind every corner. We don't get to see a whole lot of it in the books, so its basically crying out for fanfics to be written about it.

Ginny's characterization was pretty strong. You really captured the sense of pain and abandonment she would have felt at being left behind by Harry and the trio, and the uncertianty she had to live with every day with her whole family being in danger. If I may make one little suggestion, I think I would just like to see a little more defiance from her. From what we could tell, Ginny, Neville, and Luna rebuilt Dumbledore's Army and were pretty actively resisting the new regime, and I guess I'd just like to see a little more of that.

Overall this is a very well written and insightful story, and I would definetely like to read the 2nd half when it's posted.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for coming by :)

I agree that this time period is really interesting and does "beg" to be explored, since we don't get to see it through Harry's eyes in canon. I do work hard on my descriptions, and I'm glad that I didn't disappoint with this piece.

I did definitely try to expose the pain and frustration Ginny feels, particularly her helplessness when she's used to being right there and knowing what Harry's doing. That being said, I tried to avoid the "traditional" characterization of her being a fiery red-head because I feel like that's been written a lot before. Also, this was set right at the beginning of the school year, so I didn't think the revitalization of DA would be in place yet. However, it might have been nice to include a little of that, now that you mention it. I always appreciate feedback from readers, so thank you :)

Thanks for the kind review! I'll be sure to re-request for the Ron/Hermione portion later.

academica

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Hi! This is Chocolate_Frog from the forums with your requested review! :)

I think this story was written beautifully. You captured Ginny's emotions very well, with her despair at Harry being gone, her hatred of being left behind, and her hope for the future. However, I would thought that Ginny's character seemed a bit suppressed here. I have thought that her character would be a bit more fiery and opposed to the Carrows, since it's in her nature, and it was mentioned in DH that she, along with Neville and Luna, had led a rebellion of sorts against them.

Your descriptions were really nice, though; I could totally picture what Ginny was going through, and adding in her comments about Harry being in the same place was a nice touch. You did a great job on writing this Harry/Ginny; it seemed very believable.

Overall, it was a great read. Feel free to re-request once the final part is up! ^^

~Chocolate_Frog

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for coming by to review!

I'm glad that you enjoyed my writing style and the way I characterized Ginny's emotions. I'm sorry she came across as suppressed, though; I'm a proponent of writing somewhat unconventional personalities for characters, sort of working to uncover the less well known parts of them, and so I tried to focus on her vulnerability here because her defiant, red-headed personality is so well known and written about much more often (I think). I did try to convey her loathing for the state Hogwarts is in at this time, though perhaps I should have carried that a bit further.

Thanks for your lovely review! I'll definitely be by to request for the Ron/Hermione chapter.

academica

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