Oo. OK, I have to tell you that I never read Hogwarts-era or just after Hogwarts-era Draco anything because he comes off as being fake. Suddenly he's a changed man and all good and stuff but no, he can't be.
But this. This seems real!! Yes the last epic battle would of course act as a catalyst for one to change his life, especially someone who had essentially been a coward his entire life.
His pain and guilt and remorse that was riding him was very descriptive and caused great yankings at my heart. The pain of anyone at that time cannot be imagined but you just had him fully confronting who he had been--and that was not a pretty picture.
I like the premise of this and the fact that he is going to change himself completely. But "Will Smith"? Really? :P hee hee
charlottetrips [Ravenclaw]Author's Response: Thank you so so so much! That comment means the world to me. I hope that you continue to see some of that old Draco mixed in with the new, because I'm really trying to do that. And to be honest, I found a random name generator for the name, and didn't realize that it was Will Smith until I posted the chapter :P But thanks so much for the review! I'm so glad you liked it! Report Review
What a great premise! As usual, your imagery is fantastic. I loved the beginning paragraph about the fire. The emotional torment that Draco is feeling is tangible in this beginning; the guilt, especially, eats away at him, and you write it so very well. I liked the fact that you made him feel guilty not only for his participation as a Death Eater but also the guilt that he was being pardoned and not punished like the others. Because he feels just as responsible as everyone else.
I like the repetition of rising from the ashes, starting anew, etc. It ties in well with the first paragraph and makes me think of Draco as a phoenix.
It'd be interesting to see where Draco goes from here. How he does change his appearance, his attitude, and starts anew, away from the life of a Death Eater. Nice job so far!
One little edit though: "for who would want to marry a former death eater?" Death Eater should be capitalized.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the amazing review! I'm so glad you liked it! :D And thanks for pointing out the error. Definitely will fix it! Thanks again for your review! Report Review
I love that you skipped straight to 8 years in the future, and just did a recap of what we would have missed in those years. It really makes much easier to follow, and if you had of started from the beginning it probably would have dragged on a bit. I also love that you made him a Hit Wizard, not an auror like I would have expected but making him a hit wizard was really something different.
Haha, 'The one time I had forgotten, my hair began to rapidly change color as I sat in a restaurant,' I love this part, I am just imagining him running with his hands on his head into the bathroom. I can also imagine the looks on the people's faces that noticed. Their reactions would have made me laugh so much.
Henri is really a character, when you first introduced him at the start of this chapter I thought he was like a dog, always following Draco, sorry Will, around it made me laugh, and his constant excitement. It lightened the chapter considerably. Although I must admit I felt sorry for Will because he wasn't getting to spend his first day back in Paris with his best friend, I get the feeling like Will was slightly longing to see Henri again and to find out that he was married and not be able to have a proper conversation with him must have really surprised him. Don't get me wrong I love the new wife; I just am a huge Draco fan so I am sympathetic towards him.
I also love how his parents are giving him money. It really shows that they do love him like what was shown in the 7th book, it's good to know that even if they haven't seen their child in 8 years, they are still giving him money so that he doesn't have to worry about money. I mean a job would be a good idea but I still like the fact that Draco is still in their thoughts.
'It made me pity Potter, in a strange sort of way. Wow, imagine that. Even after all these years, I couldn't bring myself to think of him as anything but Potter.' As the saying goes, all habits die hard. I loved that he was pitying potter, I mean I never expected that to happen, but you make it work so well.
Again a lovely chapter, you officially have me wanting more of your story, so keep the chapters coming!!
~ StEpHM, Ravenclaw ~Author's Response: Can I just tell you now that I love you! This review was absolutely incredible! Thank you so much for taking the time to write all this out! Skipping 8 years ahead is essential to the main plot line of this... Which will be revealed shortly! I'm glad you liked that part. I'm terrible at getting humor into these, so I'm glad that worked for once! And just a hint, you may have the right feelings about Henri and his wife. Don't think it's just because you sympathize with Draco. I want you to feel that way...for a reason. You picked up on a lot of important things here! Good for you! Thanks again for the absolutely incredible review!
-Naida Report Review
Your style of writing for this chapter is lovely, they way you wrote it so it was a chapter entirely in the confines of his mind. I havenít seen one this good in a long time. You should be proud of writing such a engaging chapter.
I like how you have depicted Draco almost straight after Voldemort has finally been defeated. How he feels guilty for being on Voldemorts side and also the guilt that his family were pardoned for, in his opinion, a false idea that they had changed sides, to him it was that he was a coward, he doesnít think he deserves a second chance.
Also William Smith, I like where you are going with this, having Draco decide to start fresh, take his second chance as a completely new person, someone who to him hasnít been through what he has, and just wanting to be somewhere that people wonít judge him for where his allegiance once lay. I think everyone deserves a new beginning, and you gave it that extra something to make in original and new.
Great start to the story and I shall be reading more cause I am interested in where this will lead.
~ Steph ~Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! That first compliment is just amazing. It made me incredibly happy. I'm so glad you want to read on! I hope you'll like what's coming up! Thanks again for the awesome review!
-Naida Report Review
It's so interesting, a completely new Draco, it's cool. I really can't wait to read more! I hope he goes back to England one day, I reckon that could be real cool and I'll be searching for any hints in your next chapters! Which I will read, you betcha ... (;Author's Response: Well, you'll have to wait and see :) I'm so glad you plan to read on! I have a big chunk of the next chapter written, so as soon as I get my one shot through the queue, it should be posted. Thanks so much for both your reviews, and for the story favorite! (Yes, I stalk the people who favorite my story :P) Ily!
-Naida Report Review
Ohmygod! Bloody hell! And on TDA you said you weren't good a writing ... Um excuse me. If you don't think you're good then I'd hate to see what you thought about my writing.. Pleeease keep writing this story! I really - and I mean REALLY - like this story. I'm interested to see how you'll make a new Draco (a.k.a. William Smith) I really like it already, you're so talented. Anyways - update soon, yeah!? ;DAuthor's Response: This is strange... never been visited by someone from TDA before XD I'm so glad you like my story! Of course I'll keep writing! I could never abandon this! Thanks for all the compliments and the review. Yes, I'll say that I don't deserve the praise, but thank you so much! It made me grin! :D
-Naida Report Review
I must say I love your way of writing, it is so addicting and it has a wonderful flow. I don't care much about the story I just love the words, you got a real talent!
The story I think is good so far I liked the prolog very much. I can't say more until I read more of the story but right now I love the words, they are my drug, well more then all other words.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so happy that you like it! That compliment made my day :D I hope you'll come back and enjoy the story too, but I'm glad you love the writing!
-Naida Report Review
To be honest, some of them scared the crap out of me.
That was just priceless!! It had me laughing for like the last few minutes while reading this ^.^
I love this story!!
Your an amazing writer! I still envy you, but you can keep the cookies >.<
Draco. Sorry. Will really has changed a lot since the end battle, and I like how you launched into eight years later instead of dragging us through crap we really don't want to sit here reading about instead of plunging us straight into the mists of things.
Anoter wonderfull chapter, to what is adding up too be a great story!! xAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you loved that line, because I'm absolutely TERRIBLE at writing humor, and that was my attempt of getting some in. Thanks again for the review! (Though you still have no reason to envy me :P)
-Naida Report Review
I knew that Will/Draco could not leave his luxury lifestyle behind. And you are a rotter leaving us all on a cliffie like that, BAH HUMBUG. Another great chapter and another 10/10. Please update very soon.
By the way, I still love it to bits.Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much, hun! It was my way of trying to keep Draco alive a little bit (and me and my friend always get into arguments about whether he could live without luxury. The answer is NO xD) Updates coming soon! Have a lot of stuff written for it already! Thanks again! Report Review
Very interesting, I like your characterization of Draco, the plot and your writing style.Author's Response: Thank you, dear! That means a lot to me and I'm glad you like it :D Report Review
Well, before I begin, I have to say I loved the first paragraph. about the fire (obviously you know what I'm talking about)? It jumped out at me. Just the way it was written was amazing, and I'm sorry if I'm going on about it but it was just... Epic. You got points for that.
First, may I say, I hate Draco Malfoy with a burning passion, after all this time, even when Snape is my favorite character. He is jut so fun to hate. So it's really surprising I liked this at all, because, I prefer looking at Ferret-boy as a complete jerk who Ive hated the whole series.
That said, even though I hate him, I love him at the same time. I love to read about him, but not in a good light. He probably changed after the war; but I prefer to see him as a nasty, horrible coward that we all knew through the first few books.
But, I read this, and seeing it was about his remorse, I expected to hate it. I wondered how I would get through this review.
But somehow, you've won me over. Maybe it was because of the way it seemed real, and he still seemed vaguely like Draco (with his feat of being hate in The Wizarding World in the future), I really enjoyed it, and it was very well written.
But now that I've gushed enough, I just want to remind you not to lose entire track of the confident, sarcastic Draco. He can be nice and slightly reformed but still Draco- just felt the new to put that in there.
So, overall, it was very interesting and I'll be back for chapter two.
-changingfaces (Ifthiswasamovie)Author's Response: Thank you so much! Constructive crit is always very much appreciated, and I think you should see some more of that Draco in the coming chapters. If not, whack me over the head and I'll work on it XD
I'm so glad you like this! Quite honestly, I'm not a huge Draco fan either, but I got his character for the challenge and I was determined to make it work. Surprisingly, I'm starting to like him. Anyways, it made me fel amazing to know that I converted you, so thanks a bunch!
This was truly a lovely review. Thanks dear! Report Review
Smith, original, plot line? . ; scared yet ?? . Plot line is so unique!!
Never have I even read a prologue where it gave you a tiny inclinging into the future, well yours did. You gave any reader who reads this a insight into your second chapter in a way. You told us that he was rising as a new man, or in small terms a fresh start.
I love how you explain everything around your characters and your wording is just incrediable. Envy, jealous *glares and steals all the cookies I baked for you* ^.^
I loved it, simply beautifly written and so indepth with Draco's character. Just wow. I'm blown away.
Please tell me when chapter two is available to read, cause i'm coming over for a look ^.^ xxAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for this! Pfft, as if you have a reason to envy me. I'm the one who should be jealous! *snatches cookies back*
This really meant the world to me. Next chapter will (hopefully) be up soon. Thanks so much for the reivew again, and I'm so glad that you liked it! Report Review
Holy mother of Cheese Whiz! Personally, I'm not a huge fan of Draco. But the very first line grabbed my attention, and I was hooked. I have a thing for fires, methinks. :P
I loved it. For a prologue, it was awesome. It really shows how Draco seems to have /finally/ realised what happened- Hogwarts destroyed and students and wizards dead because of the man he supported. Great job. I think I'll have to keep an eye out for the next chapter! :)Author's Response: Eeep, thank you! The first line of that review- I'll be saving it forever and ever. Next chapter will be up as soon as it can get through the queue XD Thanks for the fab review again! Report Review
Never mind liked or hated it. I loved the start of your story to bits. I wonder if Draco will be able to keep away from his home life? Only updating will answer that question. So 10/10 and please update soon.Author's Response: EEEP! Thank you! That was possibly the nicest compliment I've ever gotten! More coming soon! Promise! Report Review
I love it!!! You have written a very powerful introduction to the story that clearly shows Draco's whole demeanor. He seems to realise, for maybe the first time ever, what his actions have caused. His school is now a ruin, and so many people are dead because of the man he supported.
I love how you showed Draco's realisation of all he had done and how grief and remorse overcame him. It is in this moment which begins the rest of his life. He realises that his future will before ever shaped by what he has done, and there is nothing he will ever be able to end the hatred towards him.
The cowardice of Draco also came through quite clearly, from hiding in the corner when the battle was hapening, to hiding on the field when it was over, and then to simply running away from it all. But while he is running from all he has done, I hope that he can make a new start and be the good guy we know is in there.
Flow and grammar were wonderful, the story was full of detail and imagry and it was an enjoyable read. I also oved the reference to fire and how you used it at both the beginning and end of the chapter.Author's Response: Thank you so much! Everything you mentioned was everything I was worried about, so this means a lot to me! As for making a new start- you'll just have to keep reading :P Thanks again for the amazing review! Report Review
Wow. The opening sequence really grabs you, and the story continues intense through the end - you really did an amazing job here. I'm very impressed. :) I think you handled Draco in an emotional and moral crisis really well here. I like that you didn't do one of those fanon snap-he's-good transformations. He acknowledges his own cowardice and the fact that he really didn't change sides, he just was too scared to do anything real. Very interesting take on him, I think you really nailed it. Great job! Lovely writing, flowed well, no grammar or spelling problems that I noticed, and fantastic opening and ending.Author's Response: I got a review from an HPFF celebrity!!! :D This means so much to me. Your writing is incredible, and to know that you liked mine is just amazing! Thank you for the review! I'm grinning like an idiot right now. Report Review
A very interesting beginning and i enjoyed it greatly. I have never read a draco/oc being a dramione lover myself but i felt that this story has much promise and you do a great job with description. Your beginning deffinately makes the reader want more and wondering how his life will be as William Smith. Like I said a great beginning and a promising story line. very interesting. Great Job.
~Slytherinchica08~Author's Response: Thank you so much! That makes me incredibly happy! I'm so glad you liked it and thanks for the review! Report Review
Loved it alot! Very much:)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it! :D Report Review
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