This has brightened my day!

Author's Response: Awesome! Glad to hear it. :)

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"...my pearly lips, freshly chapped with stick..."
EPIC WIN.
SCORPIUS FOR THE WIN!!!

Author's Response: SCORPIUS FTW ALWAYS

:D

Thanks for reading!

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"Meow," she says. It sounds like 'meow'

OH GODS MEOW IS SAID LIKE 'MEOW'? ALL THIS TIME I WAS SAYING IT LIKE 'TOASTER'.

Never stop writing this. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never.

-flees into the night-

Author's Response: JOLOO ♥

TOASTER IS CANON, OBVS. I WAS JUST EXPLORING A DIFFERENT INTERPRETATION OF THE MEOW LANGUAGE. CONTINUE WITH YOUR 'TOASTER'.

Le Scorp will live forever.

-flees into the night after you, shrieking words that mean nothing and wielding a bag of potatoes at passing rabbits-

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This is the.
Best.
Story.
Ever.
^TRUTH

Author's Response: I
NO
RITE
?
!

THANKS FOR READING :D

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Oh my God. This is too good. I think I'm dying. Checked, yes, and I'm dying happily.

Author's Response: Oh lord, this story. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME BASED ON THE CONTENT OF IT. I swear I am not brain-dead.

Hee, I hope you enjoy it. :D

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*Will be short because I just had to say this and am eager to get back to reading the story*

The whole thing makes me think of a full-feature length Old Spice commercial.

BRILLIANT!

Well done!

Author's Response: HAA I CAN TOTALLY SEE THAT NOW.

The temptation to put Scorpius on a horse is now overwhelming. It might have to happen. It would be the ultimate ending for crackfic to have him ride off into the sunset on a horse, with absolutely no idea where he's going. He would probably get lost before he even left Hogwarts grounds.



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No you did not...Spartacus. You didn't. But you did! I can't see clearly because I'm laughing too hard. Mrs. Norris was supposed to be his second? HAHAHA!

Author's Response: SPARTACUS! -flexes my invisible muscles in a strutting, powerful fashion-

Mrs. Norris would be an excellent dueler. Trufax.

Thank you for reading and reviewing. :D

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Wow, this must be so painful to write sometimes, yet so hilarious. At one point I realised that Scorpius vaguely reminded me of Malfoy from AVPM, somehow :P I am astounded at Scorpius' ability to live in such a bubble, it is hilarious! This story makes me laugh so much :D

Author's Response: Scorpius exists very much in a bubble. Inside it, he does not breathe oxygen, but helium instead. I think it explains quite a lot.

:D hee

Thank you for reading!

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Um.

Oh.

OK...

That was... different! Can't say that I liked it... But I can't stop reading it either. Quite disturbing really.

Well done. :-/

Author's Response: Hi there. This story is called a crackfic - it's not supposed to be serious or really even make sense. It's just something one writes to amuse oneself.

:)

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This is the most wonderful thing I have ever read in my life.
I am BLINDED by the wonderfulness.
I AM NOT WORTHY TO READ SCORPIUS' MIND.
AGGGHFLNFRRGHN. Et cetera.

Author's Response: WELL OF COURSE, IT'S ONLY NATURAL TO BE INTIMIDATED BY THE WONDER THAT IS LE SCORP.

:D

Thanks for reading, amigo!

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This is hilarious... parmesan? Michaelphone? I am seduced by the legend that is Le Scorp :P

This is the second fanfic I'm reading here, and you're the first author I'm reading (yay). Favouritefavouritefavourite :)

Author's Response: :O

Really? That's a huge honor - thank you. I'm pleased as punch that you're liking my stories! Now I'm wondering how I happened to be the first author you read. I'm curious - where did you find me?

Heee parmesan. And of course you are seduced. Everyone is seduced. I am seduced right now while I am writing this, and it makes my eyes sparkly and suddenly I want to shout "I AM NOT WORTHY. I AM NOT WORTHY." But I do not because I would get very strange looks.

Heee. XD

Thank you for reading. :)

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"Scorn rhymes with corn and I am suddenly a poet."

"I have always wanted to use that word in internal dialogue."

"This is 'ferocious cat with string'."

...:) Best lines ever

This must've been so fun to write :)

Author's Response: It was a blast to write. It requires no editing whatsoever. I'm able to just type whatever nonsense pops into my head and not look back. Just a continuous flow of gibberish.

I'm glad you like Le Scorp! Thank you for reading and reviewing. ^_^

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DYING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH THAT MY EYES ARE EXPLODING FROM THE GREATNESS OF BEING ABLE TO VIEW IT WITH SAID EYES.

I can't even. I mean. I don't even know what to say except that you amaze me and this story will never stop making me laugh. I am laughing right now. I am laughing forever because of the perfectness that is Scorp and his kittyness and also the denim trousers he is going to make for Mrs. Norris.

God. You are hilarious.

I LOVE YOU LIKE ESMERALDA THE CAT VERSION OF SCORP LOVES CATNIP.

Author's Response: Somewhere out there right now, Scorp is holding a needle and a spool of thread and wondering how it will magically transform into a pair of denim trousers.

I LOVE YOU AND THIS REVIEW. I LOVE IT LIKE MRS. NORRIS LOVES WATCHING FILCH BE TOO SEXY FOR HIS SHIRT.

♥

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What goes on in your mind? Crazy, crazy things I bet! (=Every sentence, every paragraph is like a wild adventure. I can't stop myself from laughing at dear Scorp. I wish he and I were friends, haha.


Favorite lines:
- I have shamed her with my uncomfathomable skills and she is heading to a toilet to cry her eyes out. I make a mental note to send her flowers later.
- Thief! Thief of facial hair!
- I know this because I received a Hogwarts letter when I was eleven. My father was very surprised. He keeps it framed for proof when his friends come over.
- "I am scoffing at you," I say with scorn. Scorn rhymes with corn and I am suddenly a poet.

Author's Response: SCORPIUS IS THE MASTER OF ALL LANGUAGES. He is like the prince of poetry, the master of marmalade.

I will send your compliments along to Scorp, who will read them to his mother and they can swoon together while they embroider their initials on pink handkerchiefs.

:) :) :)

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Oh Scorp! Oh Scorp you devilish, devilish boy! How I wish I would have thought of this before you. I bow down to you Toujours. I laughed out loud, literally, everyone now thinks I'm mad but I don't care because that...well, that was hysterical. Now, I must read chapter one and chapter two!

Favorite Parts:


- Exact rhymes with fact and I am a man of many factoids. Ask my mother and she will vouch.
- Please send your wisdom teeth, letters of admiration, and Queen Anne's Lace to my secretary, Astoria Malfoy, as well as birdhouses with little paintings on them, as she is rather fond of those
- My hips are marvelous, like doubloons
- "My father has never eaten death in his life. He is diabetic. How dare you!"
- I have horizontal stripes and it makes me look obese. I suck in my stomach. Now I look like a common alley cat, starved and never permitted to feast on dishes of tuna. The finest tuna, of course, purple in color and not from a can. Straight from the plate, which is its original source after it has seized to be a whole tuna.
- It is Scorpolade instead.
- P.S. I must remember to knit Mrs. Norris a pair of denim trousers. Preferably bell-bottoms to show off her slim ankles.

Author's Response: Lulzzz because you read chapter three before chapter one and two. Haa.

I ACCEPT YOUR BOWING.

We should make this official and do some sword-fighting, so that we can dress up in jousting outfits and ride pretty horses and point our swords shouting, "Onward!"

THANK YOU FOR READING AND FOR THAT LOVELY LOVELY REVIEW THAT MADE ME HAPPEH.

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aha hahahaha OMG I LOVE THIS! :D

Author's Response: THANKS, YO!

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I love this.
So. So. So. Much.
10/10

Author's Response: AWESOME POSSUM.

Thank youuu!!!

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it's Gilderoy Lockhart reborn...hahahahaha oh man I adore this

Author's Response: Gilderoy Lockhart wishes he could be this awesome. FO SHO.

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This...is a masterpiece.
hahahahahaha 10/10 and added to favorites. new favorite story RIGHT HERE! hahaha(:

Author's Response: WOOO YEAH

thanks for readdinngg!!!

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Blimey! (I never say that, silly 12+ :P) this story never fails to make me laugh!! I seriously have no idea how you come up with such random things for Scorp to talk about even though I consider myself a random person :P haha I love how he just takes everything into his stride, like not 'ahhh I'm a cat' but he just goes on and makes it a ridiculously weird yet good situation! I don't think that quite made sense. Ahh well I loove this very much :D oh and I loved his interpretation of what Rose was doing, hilarious!! :D amazingly quick update, I can't wait for the next one! :D

Author's Response: Once upon a time, scorp filed his nails. And then he put shampoo in his hair. And then he was like...what am I supposed to do about all of this foam inside my hair? YOU DO NOT BELONG THERE, LIQUID SOAP. And so he shaved his head.

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Oh goodness. This sort of hurts my brain to read it. But its freaking awesome. He cracks me up.

Author's Response: This fic is mindmelt. Like turkey on a sandwich melt, except not because it isn't edible.

TANKS FOR READING

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Okay, I was cracking up the whole time. How funny!! Although, I think it should have been about Gilderoy Lockhart. While I was reading, I forgot it was Scorpius and thought it was Lockhart.

Author's Response: Mooninites in my ham and cheese sandwich? No yes says the Frodo to his hamster. Don't ask him why, he tells lies. Propaganda. This bowling alley is for sale BUT WE'RE ON THE DARK SIDE NOW, don't look to your right. Okay, now look to your right. There is a dog. It has no flea collar. It is safe to say that this tent is filled with clowns. Also? Do you have any

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I'm not even worthy to be reading this. My eyes burn when I look at his name and I swoon girlishly at the thought of him. But I could never have him because I am simply not worthy.
I think I'm going to go lay down and cry now.

Author's Response: Even though it is quite true that you are unworthy to read the saga of Scorindo Hyperius, you may pass into the lands of Nezza-Tonga if you offer him a human sacrifice and all scarves that you own. Preferably silk, because the shine complements his hair.



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DANCING

'PAINT ME WITH YOR WAND OF COLOUR SENSATIONS GALORE'
brb while i embroider this onto something and hang it on my wall.

I feel sick because I'm not Scorpius. I am not worthy, I am not worthy, I am not worthy.

Author's Response: The only cure for what ails you is to sit on Scorpius's hat all day. You will absorb his wisdom and it will teach you the ways of Le Scorp.

WE ARE NOT WOOORRRTHYYY

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Hahaha he is soo clueless and has THE biggest ego in all of the universe, it is almost painful to read his view on life,, but more so painful from all of my laughter!! Ahh I love this!! And I can't wait for more ;D

Author's Response: Hooray! Yes, his ego rivals Jupiter. In fact, it is bigger than Jupiter.

*Scorpius stands mightily at the edge of Earth, brandishing a sword at Jupiter. "Get back, you knave!" he cries. "I am your superior! Brush my hair!"

:D

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

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