Reading Reviews for This Longing
  
308 Reviews Found

Review #26, by UnluckyStar57 Endgame

30th March 2013:
Arghhh!! I've taken way too much time to get back to you with this review!! I can't believe that this chapter only has one other review... It's kind of sad, because this is probably one of the best stories I've ever read on HPFF. If I could give you two reviews on one chapter, believe me, I would!!

Well, everything is just falling into place. The characters are getting more anxious as the mystery of Myrtle's death still hangs over them. I just love your writing style, as I've said several times before, and even if the timeline is not completely the same as the canon timeline, I don't think anyone should have any complaints! You've taken a rarely-explored time and done so much to make it come to life. That's the best thing any fanfiction writer could hope for!!

My greatest hope is that I can one day come back and reread this whole story (unfortunately, Life tells me that I don't have time right now) so that I can fully appreciate all the nuances and the drama.

My favorite scene of this chapter was Minerva's conversation with Tiberius. You really showed all of their emotions and fears of the future, and that raw emotion is really what drives people to action. Will there ever be anything between them that is more than just a ghost girl and a mysterious killer? Not likely, but as a teenage girl, I'd like to believe that maybe there's something of a tragic romance, latent of course. This story is not for snogging and "romantic trysts" in broom closets. It is for action, and doubt, and mystery, and waiting. It is for seeing older characters in younger days, and knowing that this event, the death of an innocent, albeit annoying, young Ravenclaw.

I look forward to reading the next chapter, and I hope that you still enjoy writing this story. It is a beautiful and astounding read. If the characters speak to you, I hope that they continue to divulge all of their secrets to you.

~~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thank you so much for coming by! I'm very sorry that I've taken so long to respond - hopefully you're still around to see this! Your compliments mean so much - I can't express how much they mean. One review like this is worth. Just hearing that you think so highly of this story is enough for me. ^_^

How am I supposed to reply to this review? It's fantastic to hear that the pieces are falling into place - the plot has become more complicated than I anticipated, and I keep worrying that something will be forgotten (a few things have been, and I've been trying to slip them in where i can). The characters are right at the edge of things, and from here most everything should resolve - whether it's a satisfying resolution is up to the reader. ;)

Oh wow, I'm glad to hear about that raw emotion. One very important aspect of this story is Minerva's growth, how she has learns to work through her emotions and develop into an adult. You're right to wonder whether Grmm and Minerva have anything else connecting them - they are certainly fond of one another, but it's the mystery plot that has been driving them together in a different way. The rawness of feeling changes Minerva in a way that wouldn't happen on its own, but it doesn't make her "fall" for Grimm in the conventional sense. She does love him, but not in a sweeping, tragically romantic way. It's surprising how much of a challenge that love is to write because, for some reason, it has more feeling behind it - it's deeper, more painful.

If anything, the last couple of chapters have made me love writing this story more than before. Thank you for helping inspire me along! I hope that you're able to enjoy the rest of the story, which should be completed this year. :D


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Review #27, by patronus_charm The Purloined Letter

29th March 2013:
The beginning was brilliant! I already have my suspicions about who the intruder could be, well the my suspicion is thatís Tom Riddle, though I do feel a little biased accusing just because of what he turns out to be later on in life but you never know. I liked seeing Grimmís affections for Minerva from another eye, it made a nice change, and it showed me how much he did love her.

I enjoyed the chess scene, it seemed so them to play it. I liked their respective comments about each otherís houses, as it was so true that Gryffindors enjoy winning far too much. She is rather curious girl though, and like Grimm, I can never predict what she may do next. I think thatís part of the reason why I really love your characterisation of her, as the mystery behind her actions is great.

I also really liked the inclusion of the canon things. It was interesting to see that dispute between Olive and Myrtle was so well known that Minerva commented on it. They had such different views on how to handle the situation. I never imagined that Grimm would be the Bolshevik, as he comes from a more prestigious background, and I would have thought that role would go to Minerva.

I liked the foreshadowing of Grimm having this sense of calm, and he finding it bemusing that he would feel like that. Then of course he discovers the storm the intruder caused in his room. It seemed fitting that he felt so scared, and confused about what had happened, and I thought you captured his emotions about it brilliantly.

You could tell that he was taking this situation very seriously by him going to Dumbledore about it. I never would have thought the day would come when he willing went and spoke to him, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Dumbledore was perfectly in character, and the way he wasnít take sides initially and attempting to solve the crime without accusations was great.

So Minerva has some mystery behind her then? I wonder how her brother died, and why in France of all the places? I hope we get to find out soon. I think she would make an excellent addition to the Holyhead Harpies, she seems so head strong like the rest of the team, and I can just imagine her fitting in with them perfectly. I think she should give up on analysing Grimmís actions both of them are so complex it would take their entire life to solve each other.

Yay Hagrid made an appearance! Iím guessing that the creature he was with was Aragog? I forgot that the chamber of secrets hadnít been opened yet, and I canít wait to see all the drama when it does open. I liked the hints about the war brewing outside the castle with Grindelwald, as it makes you realise there were dark times in the wizarding world before Voldemort came along too.

I liked the quote from Shakespeare, I thought it was great! And all the drama unfolding about the mystery of the intruder. I can imagine Grimm and Minerva being good detectives together, and I canít wait to see if they can solve this mystery or not!

Another excellent chapter!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: It's fantastic to hear from you again! Your reviews are so positive that I don't know how to respond except to thank you profusely for your kindness. ^_^

I had to look back at the chapter to understand all of the things you were discussing here, and can I say that I was pleased with what I read? The chess game did turn out well, and I'm pleased to hear that you enjoyed it. What would you call the kind of conversation they're having? It's not bantering, though it's close - there's something of a rivalry between them, an intellectual rivalry, and it's interesting to see how Grimm accuses Minerva of being competitive when, throughout that whole conversation, he's the one being competitive, constantly comparing himself to her. He is threatened by her talents, and doesn't know how to deal with a girl who is so good at Quidditch and chess, and who is clearly a more powerful witch than he is. Yet at the same time, he finds it alluring, even exciting.

She is curious, but I'm interested in how you also find her mysterious. She's very quiet about what's going on in her head, and even when she's the one the narrator follows, one can still feel Minerva holding back. The death of her brother is something she definitely doesn't want to talk about, mostly because she feels guilt over it. He died in France, and I've imagined that he chose to be a fighter pilot - both McGonagall siblings loving to fly. But Minerva didn't write to him nor did she speak to him much after his marriage, so now that he's dead, she has a lot of regrets and wishes that she had done something more.

Writing about her brother reminds me of something I want to return to in the new chapter, so thank you for bringing it up! :D

Minerva is too practical to deal in politics. Grimm is a rebel, and because he's high-strung, he often finds himself on the wrong side of tradition and the upper classes. But it's impossible to forget that he is well-off - for all his ideals, he takes a lot for granted, and that proves to be his downfall.

Yes, Hagrid was with Aragog. I'm slowly introducing more of that side of the story into the plot, showing fragments of Hagrid's and Myrtle's lives in this fateful year. It's great that you like those canon details - they mean a lot to me when reading and writing fanfiction, and I like to take care that I've grounded each story in the right context. :)

Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I look forward to seeing what you think of the rest of this story!


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Review #28, by patronus_charm Verbal Duelists

29th March 2013:
I thought it was rather sweet to see that Minerva was taking care of Grimm. She neednít and if I was in that position I may have given into my evil side and forced him to be looked after the nurse, just so I could see their bitter hatred for one another appear. He didnít seem to appreciate the efforts much with him asking her what she was doing, and denying fainting. I suppose it was rather embarrassing for him, and I would probably do the same if I was in his situation.

Of course heís not going to die! It was just a bit of glass in his hand, and theyíre wizards so of course they could cure themselves. It was interesting that Minerva picked up on his anger towards Riddle, I didnít realise his dislike of him was so apparent. He did seem to pick up on his creepiness though, and you could see that he was only doing it out of good intentions as he obviously didnít want Minerva to go the same way as the other girls.

And her reaction too, was completely understandable. I always imagined her as a feminist so the way she reacts with anger about suggestions of her promiscuity are entirely accurate. At least Grimm picked up on it with his comment about her knowledge on jinxes.

I like how theyíve come to some sort of truce now. With Minerva repaying him for what he did for her with the headmaster theyíre on a level footing now. They both seemed to recognise that with Grimm asking her to get the bandages, and her obliging. It was a sweet moment to see that they can be nice to each other now and then, and there seem to respect one another now.

No go away Dolores! Grimm was probably about to reveal some secret which he had never told anyone about before, and you have to come along and accuse them of sneaking off together. I do like how youíve made a humorous character though, itís enjoyable to see. The way Minerva drew upon her screaming everywhere, and her justifying it by saying it was traumatic. It seems to suite her somehow, and itís nice to see she wasnít always evil.

I liked that almost altercation between Dolores and Minerva though. Of course Grimm would come and interfere and ask for his wand back. Those little moments seem to make a possible relationship between him and Minerva more realistic. At least Minerva managed to get rid of her, and told her off. Again, I can see where there hatred of one another later in life may have stemmed from.

Theyíre finally opening up to one another! I liked how we got to learn more about their respective families, and how they differed. It was really touching to see that Minerva was the only woman Grimm could stand beside his mother, I never imagined him to feel like that. Then him deciding to come and watch her play quidditch was again touching, and I canít wait for that scene.

Another excellent chapter!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: It's fantastic that you liked this chapter! It's one of my personal favourites, probably because it's the first time that we see into Grimm and Minerva's relationship. They're finally alone, and both of them (but especially Grimm) have set aside the masks they wear around others.

Minerva has always been an interesting character because although Rowling has made her a feminist, she also has a maternal side - which isn't a surprise because all of the "good" women in the Potterverse are maternal - and I've included it in Minerva's treatment of people like Myrtle and Hagrid. It also comes through when Grimm is in a state like this, though it's accompanied by the kind of exasperation she had with the Marauders and the Trio's antics.

It's interesting, that choice you say Minerva had to be cruel or kind to Grimm. The romantic in me wants to say that her kindness reveals a deeper feeling, but the practical side of me - the Minerva side, I could call it - says that she helps him because it needs doing and she happens to be available. It alludes to her work later on as a nurse during the war.

Grimm is a drama queen. He's so good at blowing things out of proportion, and because he's never been disciplined, he doesn't know to restrain his emotions. He's the wild, passionate one in contrast to Minerva's more stoic personality - it's another way that they're better together because their weaknesses and strengths balance out. :)

I'm glad to hear that Dolores doesn't sound evil - I always worry that my dislike of her character as an adult shows through too much. There's almost something pitiful about her in this story because, like Minerva, she doesn't belong in any particular "group". But Minerva seems to have more confidence in herself, or at least she can repress herself more, and refuses to show the world that she's lost or lonely. Dolores is a "louder" person and even the Slytherins dislike her, which is why, later on in life, she neither aligns with Voldemort nor the Order, but decides to take over the world on her own.

Oh no, I'm writing Umbridge's biography again. >< Someone has to write that story one day.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! It's wonderful to read through your comments - they're wonderfully inspiring. ^_^


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Review #29, by patronus_charm A Disastrous Affair

22nd March 2013:
Yay itís the long awaited party! I find it insanely cute that Grimm invited Moody, it seems as if thereís a little bromance developing between the two! I guess anyone would need the drinks if they had to spend the whole evening with Dolores Umbridge, as I canít imagine that would be pleasant. Well, to be fair, Grimm should have manned up and asked Minerva instead of playing all of these games!

Hahaha so Dolores has become a girly girl! She was one anyway with the excessive amounts of pink she wore, but now sheís turned into one in the way she acts too. It seems to suite her for some reason, and the way she was fawning over poor old Grimm, who clearly wanted to be in the furthest place possible from her. Then subtly insulting her to boot! I always thought he was a nice person, but then again, annoying people can make you do things out of character.

Iíll say it now because otherwise Iíll forget, but there seems to be a slight formatting issue with this chapter because every paragraph seems to be indented by quite a bit. It just proved a little distracting at times so I thought I would point it out :)

YOU MENTIONED AUSTEN! Ok I already thought this was story was amazing, then bringing Jane Austen into it just brings up to a whole new level, and the fact it was Grimm who mentioned it, does this mean heís read it? His comparison of the world of Austen to the current one he was in was very accurate, and I can imagine the delicate diplomacy one would have to carry out at both.

Ok this chapter made me a little excited, and I was going to calm down, then you threw in Grimm catching sight of Minerva and it made me have fuzzy feelings again! I can imagine the transformation Grimm must have seen though, she doesnít seem like the one to dress up or down much just always remain uniform, and I suppose thatís why she created such excitement by wearing a dress. Then the way she started to blush when she noticed Grimm was staring at her was great!

I liked the brief mention of Tom and Minerva being a couple, however unlikely it may be for some, I still agree with Grimm that they would make a great couple, and they rank second alone to Minerva and Grimm. WAHAHA! OK! THIS CHAPTER IS AMAZING! SHE ASKED HIM TO DANCE! Stop writing such exciting stuff, itís getting overwhelming! It was so Minerva though of course she would be the one to ask him! The dance was just perfect, and I loved the interaction between them, especially Minerva whispering to him at the end!

Sorry Grimm but however great this opportunity is, I am not allowing you to take it on behalf of Minerva. Canada is too far away, and itís Montreal so heíll have to learn French, and I canít imagine that Grimm would be an enthusiastic language learner! Stay in England or Scotland if you want. Well I know he does anyway because of The Fires Within but I donít about the interlude between now and then. So he may disappear.

I really liked how you related to the historical events of the muggle world. It makes sense in my head for wizards to have played some part in muggle history, especially the world wars. And for the pureblood families like the Selwyns to be with Grindelwald makes sense again.

I donít know whether I should be happy or not. I mean Minervaís dancing with Tom, and I love that pairing so it made me excited, but to see how downtrodden Grimm was at seeing them made my heart ache for him. He was finally fighting for her with the feeling of jealously then snapping the glass, and then he goes and faints on us, even if Minerva comes to the rescue! Honestly, this man!

Another amazing chapter and I think this has to be the best so far!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: This is a huge review, wow! I never thought any of these chapters could get so much feedback at once - thank you for taking the time to not just read, but be so detailed in your review. I'll apologize ahead of time for not being able to sufficiently respond - I'll try my best to come up with something, though.

There is indeed a bromance - Moody is the only person Grimm feels comfortable around because Moody is, in spite of his eccentricities, pretty laid back and undemanding. They also think in much the same way, so they're often in harmony with one another, making for a safe friendship - they don't judge one another, and for both of them, that's important.

With Dolores, I like the idea of her being able to successfully act out femininity, and she takes that act to its extreme. It sets her apart from someone like Minerva, who really doesn't care how "feminine" she is. Dolores uses femininity as a weapon, or at least a tool to achieve her ends - she has considerable intelligence, which she later uses to climb the ranks at the Ministry, but she's been trained to view marriage as her path to power. She hasn't come to that point where marriage is no longer an option - or rather no longer something she wants because it would mean sharing her power and herself. At this moment, though, she is even willing to marry a half-blood. My headcanon is that her family has lost its wealth, descended from the Selwyns, but due to poor management and bad breeding, they no longer have any social clout. She then spends her life trying to regain that power, even if it's only for herself in the end - this is one reason why she is so eager to possess the locket, a symbol of the heritage she desperately wants to connect with.

Oh dear. Where did that come from? If I could be sure that people would actually read a novel about Umbridge's life and struggles, I could now write it. :P

The funny thing about Tom and Minerva is that they would make a good-looking couple, as though they'd stepped out of Hollywood. It's interesting that Grimm's jealousy is based on appearances and his own lack of confidence in his own appearance. He's really a very average-looking southern English boy, and when he compares himself to Moody or Riddle, he knows how much he comes up short. I like the idea of writing about a boy's body image issues, though I didn't get into it as much as I would have liked. Grimm doesn't like himself, and while he puts on this outward image of joking arrogance, it's only an act to hide his painful insecurity.

What do you mean "learn French"? I can assure you that Grimm already knows it - not very well, and certainly not Quebecois francais, but he wouldn't have to worry about learning it (anyway, Montreal is fairly bilingual).

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this chapter! It makes me smile each time to read your reviews because you pick up on all the interesting little things, leading me to write novels about minor characters and also think through the major characters. It's a wonderful help! ^_^


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Review #30, by patronus_charm A Bit of Bedlam

22nd March 2013:
Itís taking me far too long to get through this! But hey the Easter Holidays are coming up soon, and whatís not a better way to spend them then reading more about dear Minerva and Tiberius!

I was glad that Minerva saw through Grimmís plot to get at her, you could tell that she was a little bothered by it, but it was nice to see that all that effort was because of her. She really has analysed his actions a lot? The way she observed his friends and enemies and whether he treated them differently or not. Then again, I think anyone whoís beginning to like someone else notes all of their behaviour.

Even though it was only a brief mention it was nice to see that Hogwarts hadnít changed too much and that there would always be people snogging behind statues and praksters lurking about! It just felt like coming home really :í)

I liked the appearance of Alastor, I forgot that he would have been at school at the same time as them. I can imagine that he would have been friends with someone like Grimm. Theyíre both quirky characters, so itís as if they became friends due to being kindred spirits. He reminded me greatly of the Alastor we know from the books, and it was rather comforting to know that he had always been like that.

Haha did Grimm really say that Minerva had Ďa well-rounded formí. He really does make me chuckle with his witty observations. I donít think Iíve come across someone whoís made such good ones! Then the way he shushed Moody, it was almost as if he didnít want Minerva to notice him, so he could carry on looking! Then when he gave her the ring, there were so many conflicting emotions and tension, it was perfect!

Then there was a brief interlude of anger in their relationship, and I was worrying that the brief calm was going to be ruined. Of course Grimm had to go and be forward and shush Minerva, it was great though! Poor old Alastor, having to stand there and watch this scene unfold before him. That must have been awkward for him!

Then him having to justify his answer, and calling Minerva alluring! I donít think Iíve ever heard that adjective describe her, but if Grimm feels that way, I guess I could use to her being that. I agree with Grimm she does appear queenly at times, she just has this regal air about her. I think thatís why Iím in love with your chapter images, because she really does fit the role of Lady Mary!

I liked their almost reconciliation at the end, with Grimm admitting his aims with asking Umbridge, and saying how far he had sunk. Then Minerva almost pitying him, and showing him there was a way out with this mysterious potion.

Then the ending! I was not expecting that! Now I have all these crazy theories about Grimm belonging to some secret cult floating around my head!

An excellent chapter as always :í)

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Thank you for coming back to this story! ^_^ I've really enjoyed reading and responding your reviews - here's hoping I can finally be inspired to finish this story soon!

Haha, you've caught Minerva analyzing Grimm - she rather does that a lot, though she would hate to be aware of it. She does note peoples' behaviour, not only because she's been both a prefect and Head Girl, but also out of interest. She's always been on the outside, even with her place on the Quidditch team, and those kind of people tend to be observers. It's at once a weakness and a strength of hers, that she doesn't easily connect with those around her, but that, as a result, she is able to see the world from a clearer perspective.

Grimm sees the world in a different way, often more humourous in this story, though as the plot develops, he grows darker. Whether this is due to Minerva's influence or his pursuit of Tom Riddle is not certain - Grimm definitely undergoes a transformation during this story, and I hope that it makes sense as you continue reading. :)

Moody's years at Hogwarts are unknown, and while the Lexicon guesses him to be the same age as Arthur Weasley, I've always imagined him to be older, especially since wizards live longer than Muggles - he could easily be in his 70s during Harry's time. It's interesting to place him among these characters, and as I wrote them together, he seemed to get along with Grimm and Minerva, and fit into their dynamic. Don't worry - he isn't really capable of feeling awkward, even when Grimm and Minerva are flirting, haha. I'm glad to hear that you like him in this story! :D

Thank you again for reading and reviewing! It's wonderful that you're enjoying the story!


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Review #31, by patronus_charm Preemptive Agreement

15th March 2013:
I can safely say Iím not happy about how itís taking me to get through This Longing, but school likes to interfere with things :( But hey at least Iím here now :D

I felt rather sorry for poor old Grimm at the beginning of this chapter, he appeared so forlorn, you couldnít help but pity him. I almost couldnít believe it when he was contemplating brewing Amortentia, I just didnít expect to see such a rebellious side to him, and for love of all things, I guess thatís whatís making him act so out of character.

Was the Prince girl, Eileen Prince by any chance, as I figured the timings would be right?

It was interesting to see that Minerva was the more tolerant one of the two. Even though it was only acknowledging Tomís greeting, it still told us a lot about her character, and how she was more willing to tolerate those perceived as evil, than Grimm was.

I agree with Grimm Ďmisgivingsí does have a certain ring to it. It was nice, and rather brave of him to stand up for Minerva. Well he ought to, considering it was his fault that they had landed in this predicament, but still it showed that he developed and matured to recognise when the fault laid with him, and that he should own up to that fact.

I really liked Grimmís and Minervaís interactions with one another. They just seemed to be written so naturally, and you can sense the tension and chemistry between them both. They just seemed to hold some many feelings for one another, that I cannot even comprehend them all and Iím just an observer. Itís really well written though, as you can just imagine this happening, and thatís not often the case when romance is depicted in fan fiction.

Then the ending was wonderful, with the mention of Pax. I really hope that we get to learn more about their respective families as they both sound so intriguing and differing, and it will be interesting to see whether they shaped their characters or not!

Another excellent chapter, and hopefully Iíll be back sooner :D

-Kiana!

Author's Response: Take your time! It's a long novel, and I don't know how long it's going to take me to write the next chapter - for some reason, I'm particularly slow in writing this story (probably because I don't want it to end :P). It's wonderful of you to read and review each chapter, though - thank you for taking the time to do so!

What I love about writing Grimm is that he's inconsistent and unpredictable, and it is his main weakness because it means that he can't commit to anything; it also leads him to make stupid mistakes and quick judgments. His emotional state is fragile and frequently changeable. Minerva is the stronger one of the two and will always be so - it creates a fascinating dynamic to write. It's something I also don't see much of in romance stories - it wouldn't be hard to switch their genders and end up with a more stereotypical romance.

The girl is Eileen Prince! She comes and goes in the story, so keep an eye out for her. :D

I'm so glad to hear that their relationship sounds natural and believable. It has helped that I created it for "The Fires Within", so I was able to work out the kinks there before moving onto this one. Yet there's also something about the two of them that just fits - maybe it's in the way that I constructed Grimm as the "equal and opposite" to Minerva. Whatever it is, it make me happy that you like it. ^_^

Thank you again! I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story!


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Review #32, by patronus_charm A Hint of Scandal

10th March 2013:
Itís so strange yet adorable to see Minerva reminiscing about the event in the corridor, you can tell she wants to keep on thinking about it, but everyone else keeps on interrupting her thoughts! It seems as if the rest of the year what Minerva and Grimm to be together, by saying that they keep on looking at each other, well to be fair, I want them to be together as well.

Then the thing in the library, it was so awkward and adorable, adwarkable? I think thatís the definition of their relationship, as theyíre both so stubborn and determined that theyíre right, and refuse to give in, and itís just so funny to watch.

They actually had a conversation, even if the conversation was about how they shouldnít be talking, but itís a start as they were vaguely civil towards them. I think I was as shocked as Tiberius was when Minerva touched him, there she was saying that they should be prim and proper around each other, and then that. I agree with Tiberius I donít think they can be friends, they can only be more or less. I thought it was going to be more, with him caressing her, then Minerva returned to her cool self, but thatís what you would expect from her!

This line made me extraordinarily happy Ė ĎGrimm spent most of his time in a grim mood,í!

Umbridge appeared again! I can see how the hate between her and Minerva was so strong now! They were both fighting over poor old Grimm! I would have thought that Umbridge would have been another Riddle follower, but I was sort of glad to see it wasnít the case, as it shows that she wasnít always that evil.

I loved the ending of this chapter, I canít believe Grimm would sink that low and go with Umbridge, just as a form of revenge! It was interesting that Grimm picked up on Tomís surname, I never thought of it being so fitting before!

Another excellent chapter, and my love for Grimm and Minerva just grows more and more every chapter!

-Kiana!

Author's Response: One of the cliches I wanted to play with in these early chapters was how everyone shipped the two Heads, as though being made Head Boy and Girl also means having to fall in love. Minerva and Umbridge are like the only two who don't want it to happen. Minerva wants to figure out Grimm - he's opaque to her and she finds herself constantly reevaluating her understanding of his character.

Awkwardable is now a word! It's a perfect one too for these kind of comedic romantic moments. They're both such nerds, and it's adorable to watch them make a mess of social situations. :P

It was great to be able to explore the history between Minerva and Umbridge because after reading OotP, there /had/ to be something there - the movie version further emphasized it, thanks to the brilliant acting. I'm not sure that I like how their relationship turned out in this story, as I would have liked it to take on more of an academic, rather than romantic, rivalry. Umbridge is intelligent behind all of that very stereotypical girlishness, and there's a ruthlessness to her that easily matches Minerva's stubbornness. It's something I would love to go back and revise once I finally finish writing this novel.

Thank you again for being a fantastic reader and reviewer! It's meant so much for you offer feedback on every chapter! ^_^


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Review #33, by patronus_charm Hidden Smiles

3rd March 2013:
Hello there! I said I would be back soon, and Iím so glad that I did, if it was mainly due to the chapter image ;D

I liked the start of the chapter, as McGonagall is usually depicted as a rather cool woman, and you would never expect her to experience embarrassment, yet it seemed fitting, and it showed how this will develop into a relationship between her and Grimm, due to the subtle hinting.

Itís quite nice that Iíve The Fires Within beforehand, as it allows me to compare the character of Grimm there, to the one here, and itís nice to find that some of his traits are still the same. I think there was one line, where he was described as cutting up toast with scientific precision, it seemed like something he would do, and I can imagine him bent over it, getting it right down to the mm.

It was really nice to see a softer side to Grimm in this chapter. I forgot that Myrtle would have been around, at the same time as them, and it almost caught me by surprise to see him comforting her, it almost made me feel sorry for Moaning Myrtle! I loved the scene that followed it, I thought it was going to be a typical conversation between the two, then he goes asks her if she hates him, then her falling over. There was so much action and drama, I almost couldnít deal with it all!

I loved the banter which ensued, with Grimm saying she must like him, if she falls at his feet, then him calling her darling, and trying to help her. It was so funny to watch, as you could sense that there was a lot of tension between them, with true feelings not being said, and McGonagallís embarrassment, you managed to convey so many emotions in that little scene, Iím still amazed by it all!

I never would have though Minerva would have been an object of gossip, but I do have to agree with the gossipers, they would be perfect together, thought I did feel bad for her, as Grimm was blatantly trying to provoke a reaction from them.

This chapter was perfect really, you amaze how you manage to draw me in so much, and fall in love with those two, I think itís because both characters are so unique, and rather different to most people, it draws me in!

-Kiana!

Author's Response: Thank you for coming back so soon! Haha, I'm pleased to hear that you like that chapter image - it's been fun to remake them with the new style and face claims. ^_^

Grimm is an odd character and I'm not always sure how to write him in certain situations. He's changeable, but not in the way that he has a fast temper or bi-polarity. It's more that he wraps himself in multiple cloaks - he easily dons the role of serious academic/scientist, but he's also very sensitive, sometimes to a comical extent while at other times he's genuinely full of "feels". It means that he misses things, whether he's blind to them out of emotion or because he's obsessed by whatever logic problem he's working through. To this point, he's been like an older brother to Myrtle, trying to make her stronger and prove that she's a Ravenclaw.

It's fantastic to hear that the interactions between Grimm and Minerva turned out so well! I love writing them together because they compliment each other - a "sum of the parts is greater than the whole" kind of thing. There's a lot of tension that will never be resolved, yet they work so well together. Gah, I just love the dynamic they have and wish I knew how it came to be. It just appeared in "The Fires Within" and I've been building on it ever since. :D

Thank you again!


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Review #34, by patronus_charm Two Sides

1st March 2013:
Hello there!

I have finally got around to reading this story, albeit the first chapter. If I knew this was based on The Fires Within, I would have come running much sooner, as I loved that story, and itís one of the first I ever read, and Grimm was such an awesome character, I canít wait for him to pop up again. Plus thereís Downton Abbey characters in your banner, which also makes me want to read it!

Even though itís been around 9 months since I read The Fires Within, Grimm still seems familiar as ever to me, and itís as if Iím greeting an old friend. I love Minerva and his interaction, you can tell that thereís some chemistry between the two, due to the humorous between them. Itís only been the first chapter, but youíve already got me shipping them!

I like Riddleís brief appearances and heís characterised really well. Youíve got his Ďyouíre all beneath meí, air down very well, and I would find it funny, if I didnít know what he did to those who he considered inferior to himself. I also liked that Umbridge has appeared, as this is only the second time Iíve seen her in a fan fiction, but I like it, and I canít wait to compare how she is at Hogwarts, to how she is in her later life.

McGonagallís a chaser in my story as well! We must be plot twins! I liked that though, as I always had her down as sporty, as her competitiveness we see in the books, canít have come from nowhere. I also liked how you made her different to the other girls, and how she seemed to naturally distance herself from there, due to not talking to them. Itís an interesting trait, and one that I havenít seen attributed to her before, so Iím eager to see how this may affect her in the future.

Grimm and McGonagall, remind me of James and Lily in a way, due to their constant bickering. I canít believe that Grimm called her darling though, I never would have thought I would hear him say that word though, and to say it to McGonagall, makes it even more shocking for me. I liked that McGonagall hit him though, I always imagined her as a feminist, and I guess thatís represented here.

I really like what youíve done with the head boy/girl clichť though, it just seems refreshed here, and rather than liking the fact that Tiberius was chosen, or seeing a sign that Minerva would grow to like him, it appears completely natural here, and itís just such a refreshing thing to read.

I thought this was an excellent first chapter, and I love McGonagall, as she just seems so independent here, and I love seeing Grimm again, except this is making me want to The Fires Within again, when I really should be going to sleep!

Expect to see me back soonish!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Wow! That's all I can say about your reviews for this story. They're incredibly detailed, and I hope that I can come up with a sufficient response for each. If anything, these reviews are helping me put together the pieces of the story as I move toward its conclusion - I don't want to miss anything when writing the last few chapters. Thank you for reading and reviewing and for giving me the opportunity to revisit this story from its beginning. ^_^

It's wonderful that you see the connections between Grimm and Minerva here and their adult-selves in "The Fires Within". Although I've changed some of the details of their history (and future) as time has passed, this novel owes a lot to "Fires", giving me the opportunity to develop a pair of characters I might not have otherwise thought to write about. I'm also glad that you see them as "shippable" already. This story deals with the Head Boy / Head Girl romance cliche, so in some ways it follows the course of those stories - there are times when you could exchange Minerva's name for "Lily" and Grimm's name for "James" without altering the story. At the same time, this story plays with those cliches, and I hope that you enjoy how it does so. :D

In regard to Minerva's Quidditch abilities, she just seems to fit as a Chaser. I don't know what it is about her, but I like the idea of her always being on the move, the one to act and score the goals rather than defend against them. It's great to hear that I'm not the only one who's placed her in that position.

Her distance from the other female characters is actually giving me trouble now, as I realize that by limiting her interactions with other girls to Myrtle and Dolores, it only further alienates Minerva. Her only friends are Grimm and Moody, and it's like she can't find any common ground with other girls - I can't answer why that is, why there wouldn't seem to be another girl in Hogwarts who is Minerva's equal. In later chapters I'm trying to fix this, but it's definitely a weakness of the novel - not its plot, but rather in its portrayal of women.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! I look forward to the rest of your reviews! ^_^


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Review #35, by TheHouseElf Endgame

19th February 2013:
Ah Susan! Why are you so perfect? :P I just finished reading up to Chapter 18 on Sunday, so for me, Chapter 19 came quickly! I'll go back and try to review as many chapters as I can ;)

But this chapter was brilliant! You can just sense the war outside the sheltered Hogwarts closing in, whilst the Chamber of Secrets within the 'safety' of the school takes its toll as well. I also liked how you stuck to canon, but, even though I know how this will end with Hagrid taking the blame, and Myrtle coming back as a ghost, you still surprise me along the way :D Your descriptions are beautiful as well, and they are a delight to read.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing this chapter! I was surprised to see someone get to it so quickly, and it's fantastic to hear that you've read the whole story! *unintelligible squeeing*

It's a great relief that this chapter turned out well. I think I edited it five or six times before thinking that it was decent enough to post. There just seemed to be so much that needed including - everything will come together for the next chapter (which is likely the penultimate chapter). It was worthwhile sticking to canon, as much as I was tempted at times to throw up my hands and stop caring. It especially enhances the end of this chapter.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing, and also for your lovely compliments! It means a lot to hear from you! ^_^


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Review #36, by TheHouseElf Two Sides

13th February 2013:
Hey Susan!

I cannot believe that it has taken me this long to discover this story! I have to say, I have been missing out- it's deliciously written, the characters are brilliant and realistic (Oh my, how do I express my love for Tiberius?) , and I absolutely adore how you captured the 40s society- I completely feel as if I've been transported back in time when I'm reading it ;)

I love 'This Longing' and you are a brilliant author and artist :D

Aisha

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! I'm surprised that you've found so much already in this first chapter that you like - it badly needs editing (then again, I'm insanely critical of my writing). However, it's great to hear that you've enjoyed the characters AND found them realistic. They're two of the most interesting characters I've written, especially with the way that they develop throughout this story, and I hope that you enjoy following this process as much as I have. :)

Thank you again for taking the time to read and review with such lovely compliments!


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Review #37, by Gabriella Hunter Two Sides

26th December 2012:
HELLO!

I decided to stop by as soon as I got the time and since yesterday was Christmas I was too busy getting fat and bumming around the house.
So, here I am a day after with your review for our swap! I hadn't forgotten about it, honest! D':
I have to be honest and say that I had a realy hard tim in deciding on what I wanted to read. I had no idea that you had so many stories, so many amazing looking stories that would take me forever to fangirl over! Argh! But anyway, I decided to read this because it sounded really interesting and plus, it has the future Professor McGonagall! I've never read a story like this before, especially with her as the main character. I always thought that she would be such a hard person to write for but you've described and added onto her so well that I'm loss for words. I don't think I could have done it. T-T
Loved the first paragraphs describing her too, I got a real sense of her as a character just from those sentences. It seems to stick with canon quite a bit but I'd sort of thought that she would have been looser as a student. Though, now, I can't really picture it. Hahha.
I really liked her interaction with Grimm as well, I think he's a great OC character. I got the feeling that they had past history together so maybe I'm reading a sequel? Either way, I love the chemistry between them, even if its reluctant on Minerva's side and treated as more of a joke on Grimms sometimes. Anyway, I really enjoyed seeing familiar names in the story as well, from Umbridge to, uhm, that kind fellow Tom Riddle (Shudder) and I think you blended them all very well. :D
Now, on to Grimm and Minerva! I'm really curious on their past history together, it seems like they have what might be a friendship or a little rivalry. The fact that he's different from Minerva really keeps their dynamics fresh, I liked reading her struggling with her feelings for him and her extreme dislike.
Perhaps that will show up again later?
At some point, Grimm made me wonder if he actually liked her a bit more than he let on but I wasn't able to be certain if he were just being a prat or just teasing.
I wasn't able to tell all the time except...he got jealous when she was talking to Dumbledore? Wasn't sure whether to laugh or shake my head at the accusation he gave her and I was really surprised that Minerva popped him one. I never would have expected that! :D
I'm enjoying this very much, I think its pretty darn fantastic and original so, amazing job! :D
I wish I could say something more witty but I think I've used up all my words. Hahaha.
Much love and see you on the forums!
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie! I've tried to respond to this one a few times, and it's always hard to figure out what to say! It's great to hear that you enjoyed this first chapter, though to me, it's not particularly reflective of how the plot develops - it's almost too conventional a beginning for these kind of stories, you know? So reading positive reviews of it make me feel incredibly guilty, like I'm leading readers down the garden path. XD It's horrible, but true.

When I first started writing Minerva, I also thought that she would be hard, but it turned out to be quite the opposite. She's too much like myself, and it was interesting to explore her character and give her this whole history (long before JKR released hers - I'm still angry at her for ruining my headcanon :P). She's become one of my favourite canon characters to write. It's absolutely wonderful that you like how she's written here!

This isn't a sequel at all. I've purposely started after the "beginning" because in "The Fires Within" I started at the very beginning of the character's story and it became a complete mess. There's a lot to be said for stories that start in medias res, forcing the readers to do more work to understand who the characters and where they're coming from. The events leading up to this story are hinted at throughout this story, but they're really unimportant to the overall plot, which gives both characters the opportunity to grow into their relationship (whatever it is... most of the time I don't know what it actually is). I'm really glad that you like their dynamics! What I wanted to do was test the boundaries of the love-hate relationship to show that, instead, these characters balance one another, like a ying and yang, each bringing different qualities to make a larger whole. :)

Thank you very much for reviewing this first chapter! I hope that you will continue reading, since it sounds as though you enjoyed it. It's one of my favourite stories to write, as frustrating as it can sometimes be.


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Review #38, by UnluckyStar57 Visions and Revisions

9th December 2012:
Hi! I'm here with the review you requested (finally!). It's been quite a while since I've looked for this story... I'd been really busy with school and so I hadn't come back to HPFF until about a month ago. But I was really surprised and pleased to see that you remembered me from that gushing review I left on this story a couple of months ago. It really means a lot to me when people acknowledge that I left a review, especially when it happened a while back. :)

But on to the story-discussion part of the review.

Okay, as far as I'm concerned, you can do no wrong with this story. The emotions are all angsty and dark, but they havea good foundation; it isn't like they're there because you wanted to torture the characters, it's because the events evoked those emotions. This story has life, some kind of fire burning that creates all the conflicts and muddles of emotion, and even though it took a short break, it picked up perfectly right back where it needed to be. I'm really sorry, but you probably won't get any actual constructively critical thoughts from me in any review I leave on your stories. I'm a rookie at the art of fanfiction, and to me, this story is like an offering from the gods of Harry Potter (Merlin maybe? Or Dumbledore?).

Anyways, the way you tell this story is just brilliant. I loved how you introduced the really minor characters that show up sometimes in the books, such as Eileen Prince and Moaning Myrtle (before she moaned, of course). They fit so flawlessly into the stitching of the story that I don't even notice any seams on the sides. (Sorry, my autocorrect autocorrected a word, and so I made a goofy sewing metaphor-type thing.)

Probably my favorite thing abot the story is the time period that it's set in. The World Wars are a really good link to what was happening in the Wizarding World at this time. Tiberius' drafting issue only added more to the plot, and it makes me really sad that he's going to have to give everything he loves up to fight in strange and dangerous places.

Your diction and syntax are super amazing. I sometimes re-read parts of this chapter over a few times, because the words fit together so well. Every word fits the tone and the mood of the story; not a one is out of place. The metaphors that you used were very... Gutsy. That is to say, they had tons of meaning. Nothing was arbitrary, and I think that's a lot of people's problems in fanfiction: they don't know how NOT to be arbitrary, myself being no exception. Do you teach writing classes on the forums? You probably should. I would be the first to sign up for that class. :)

Lastly, though I'm sure there's stuff I've left out, I lovable you get inside the characters' heads. I often enjoy stories where the innermost thoughts are in parentheses or italics, like Stephen King often does. (I read a lot of his books, and I know and enjoy the style.) However, you have this awesome magical power of showing the inner workings of the mind without parentheses or fancy little tricks. It certainly clicks in with the style of your story, and I'm sure you've developed so many characters over the years that you know at least a part of what makes them who they are on the inside (though I won't presume you know absolutely everything... Stories are always writing themselves if you don't watch them closely enough).

That's all I'm going to gabble on about for now. No rush, but PLEASE get the next chapter out soon. I would be more than happy to review it again, if you don't mind overly sappy, praising reviews like this one.

Thank you for requesting a review and alerting me to the continuation of this marvelous story! I really do look forward to reading the next chapter... And the next... And...

Okay, I'll stop blabbering now.

~UnluckyStar57 :)

Author's Response: Wow. Just wow. I really don't know how to respond to this because, inside, I'm running around squeeing and that really doesn't translate well into a good review response, does it? This is a wonderfully kind review that is inspiring me to push through the next chapter, and probably through the rest of the novel as well. I can't thank you enough for that!

It's interesting what you said about your previous review, but maybe it's because I take the reviews I get a little too seriously (it's the desperation, I guess). It means a lot to me to receive any reviews, and I like to keep track of who is reading and what they're saying - it's the best part of posting online in this way. Stories become a dialogue rather than just a text that you read and put away again. Readers and writers can shape each other... and I'll stop before I turn either gushy or philosophical (neither is advisable).

The rest of my response is accompanied by furious blushing, especially at the thought that I could do no wrong with this story. I'm not sure that I don't spend my time purposely torturing the characters, but I do try to give that torture a plausible reason - in this story's case, both the events with Riddle and WWII create such an atmosphere and circumstances that it's been hard to break up the dark angst/drama with lighter scenes. I love your description of the fire burning in the background - there is that kind of emotion behind everything going on in the story, and maybe that's why it's so different from other things I've been working on. It has a particular quality to it that makes it a treat for me to come back to, again and again.

However, it is your compliment of the language and syntax is the one that sends me into rapturous squees. I obsess over things sounding right, and lately I've been changing words and the organization of sentences just so that they end on the right kind of syllables. I'm incredibly pleased to hear that this isn't just a crazy thing, but it's instead enhancing the story. When it comes to metaphors, I probably use far too many, and even more that are far too weird. Gutsy sounds much better than weird. :D I'm not always sure where those metaphors come from, otherwise I'd be happy to share. A lot of it probably has to do with possessing a wild imagination that hasn't matured much beyond the monsters in the closet stage. But it's important to not just have pretty images, but make them apply to the character, plot, or setting in some way. The types of images associated with a particular character can be used to show aspects of their personality and background that wouldn't normally come out in the story.

I have a weakness for third person limited and its more extreme state of free indirect discourse, which is like first person without the "I". It brings me closer to the characters, though this is the only one where I've done it successfully with more than one character. Though characters often surprise me with things about themselves that I never knew - a lot of times it's like they're real people, and it's scary.

So I'll go finish off the new chapter before I keep rambling on here. Thank you again for this fantabulous review! I'm very glad to have caught a spot in your reviewing queue. ^_^


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Review #39, by Levana Two Sides

8th December 2012:
Hi there! So I came across your story when I was looking for something new to read. I really like this so far. I really love stories set in this time and this makes me like it even more. It's extremely well written and it's got me hooked already. I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Yay! This is great to hear! I'm very glad that you've enjoyed this first chapter and look forward to seeing your opinions on the rest. :D

It is an interesting time period, and I wish that more authors would take it on, particularly without focusing on Tom Riddle. There's a lot of history to work with in this story, which is why I love writing about it.


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Review #40, by Jchrissy Visions and Revisions

17th November 2012:
Ahh this is how you're leaving me?

Rawr. Okay. I'm going to try and be helpful, but right now I just want to tie you to computer and force your fingers to type out the rest.

When we talked you said your mainly trying to figure out where to go. I'm going to tell just tell you what I'd love to see happen after this, and maybe that will help?

According to Wiki (which may be wrong) Myrtle died the 13th of June. And we know that Hogwarts ends the third or forth week of June. So you actually don't have much left to write..

It would make (terrible/sad) sense if Grimm did die. We're not including Pottormore obviously, as you disregarded it at the beginning, so the fact that the McGonagall we know is single and doesn't seem to be interested in finding love ties up perfectly to a young girl who lost her first and only love the seventh year of Hogwarts. Which, as sad as it is, is why Grimm dying would make sense. I love that McGonagall is trying to protect Hagrid, by the way, it completely warmed my heart. But we know it won't last. So he would need to get found out, the school would be deemed fit to remain open this year as well as the following, and everyone would take their NEWTS and graduate. Minerva would get through hers in a heart breaking haze, all the while knowing there's so much more to the puzzle. She would get through her NEWTS then her and Dumbledore woudl have a one on one right after. She would share her thoughts about how she knows/believes Hagrid had nothing to do with it. How Grimm had always suspected Riddle and now he's dead, which lines him up even closer to the best suspect. But nothing could be proven so that doesn't even matter, which is terrible, but we know it's true. Professor Dumbledore would admit to her that he believes, as she does, Hagrid isn't the one who caused this.

Somewhere in that conversion Albus would confide in her that Dipp (my new pet name for him) has resigned his potions and he's been asked to take over. He would ask Minerva if she's ever thought about teaching..

But that kind of ending still doesn't leave the reader the kind of 'closure' we need. But I don't even know if that's possible because closure won't be achieved until many, many years after this.

Ugh! Susan! I don't know!! Obviously as a reader I want justice. But unless you're going to go AU, expel Riddle's pathetic butt, let Hagrid attend school still, and keep Grimm alive.. I don't know how justice can be achieved.

I am going to message you to ask exactly what kind of feedback would be most helpful. But, as a reader just picking up this story for entertainment, I absolutely love every piece of it. It's so well crafted and every time I've been unable to get to it to read another chapter, I'm thinking of how much I want to be doing just that.

Author's Response: It is quite a place to leave off the story, isn't it? I'm a bad one for writing cliffhangers. :P

I can't tell you enough how much this review has helped. Even though the next chapter is still hazy - particularly with where to start it - but the rest of the story is almost cemented in place, which is a great relief. There are of course things that may still change in the next few months as I go to complete it, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and for me, that's a fantastic step in the right direction.

Myrtle's death being so late in the year does pose a problem for timing, as it means I have to wrap up the story in days. I don't know what effect that will have on the overall pacing of the story, but it does work for everything to come crashing down at once. It's unfortunate that the HP Wiki doesn't give a source for that date because the Lexicon says that's the day Hagrid was accused. Thankfully I haven't mentioned any dates for a while - there are certainly benefits to being vague.

Minerva's defence of Hagrid will become the core of the next chapter when she hears that he's been accused by Riddle. It's a turning point for her because even though she's distrusted and disliked Riddle, she's found nothing concrete against him. She knows that Hagrid couldn't have caused the death, but she can't prove his innocence either. This moment pushes her toward her "future self" unlike any other in the story thus far. She fights injustice, but she also knows when her strength is being wasted. There will definitely be tension between her and Dumbledore over this - he will persuade her (and Grimm) to stop fighting Dippet's decision, but it will take her a while to get over it. And it will always be one reason why she keeps fighting Voldemort.

With Grimm, things are more difficult. I can't decide whether he'll even finish his NEWTS (though Minerva will encourage him to do so) before he goes to war, though I have figured out what will happen to him during the war. That doesn't have much bearing on this story, but I will allude to it in the epilogue. The problem is how to bring his relationship with Minerva to a head in a realistic, plausible way. It's not going to be a "giving in" thing, but rather a logical progression from everything else that's happened in the story. At the same time, I want to indulge in cliche. Arg. I'll see how the wind blows while I'm writing.

Your idea of wanting justice is amazing and I'm going to run with that. The focus on Hagrid for this coming chapter really emerges from your reviews - it's not something I had in my original plan, but it's perfect. It adds a lot to the story that I think will make the ending even better. Thank you so much for your help! You've bumped me in the right direction, and I feel a lot better about this story because of it. ^_^


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Review #41, by Jchrissy The Heart of the Matter

17th November 2012:
I'm trying to figure out what you're doing with this chapter, more than just the chapter I suppose, but their relationship. Will this be what ends them? Will he die at the hands of war? Will what they know with Tom -- or feel, more than know--?

You said you were looking for feedback on where to go, at this point as a reader what I want to see is something big happen. There has been all this build up, clues and sneaking and meetings in the dark, that I want something to come to light. Whether it's Hagrid being blamed and Tom sulking off in the shadows with his creepy face, or him trying to pose an attack on Minerva or Grimm.. whether it's them trying to prove his guilt and obviously not succeeding.. I just feel like I'm waiting for something.

You know that your writing style is flawless, even with the more complicated narration of this age, it's so easy to sink into. It would make a lot of sense for Grimm to go to war, considering you've been making it a part of this story all along...

On to the last!

Author's Response: Thank you again for reading and reviewing! I'm sorry it's taken so long to respond to your reviews. It's great that we were able to talk this part of the story over via PM because it helped me figure out how I'll work through the remainder of the plot. It will be interesting, to say the least, especially with what still needs to be done with both the plot and the characters.

There's definitely a feeling of waiting in this chapter and the next, an inevitability that haunts the whole novel. Perhaps it arises from our foreknowledge of the events to come. The characters can't know about horcruxes or the basilisk, and my struggle is to find the right place to draw the line. I've given hints of these things, but it's all with dramatic irony. One thing that I can definitely tell you is that Grimm does not die in the war... because I kill him in two other stories.

What's important in your review, though, is that the plot has reached that breaking point and I need to take action. As you say, all of these things have been building and accumulating, and now's the time to start resolving these things. I'm not so great when it comes to closure (being denied closure in a story is something I actually enjoy, so I pass it on to my often-unwilling readers :P).

Thank you again for your help with this story! It's wonderful to hear from someone who has read the whole thing and can see it with a fresh perspective. And your reviews are fantastic! ^_^


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Review #42, by Jchrissy Two Minds

17th November 2012:
Hi darling!

Okay, I haven't finished yet but I wanted to start my reviews of the last three before actually getting to the end. This chapter seems to fit in perfectly with what we know about the people involved, and where the story has been going so far.

I'm also incredibly nervous as to what Minerva will do/say when Hagrid is blamed. She was with him, but not all night. She also knows he was out past curfew.

The smaller bits of details your working out with the Basilisk are also really genius. The bites in the tub, noises, list Tom was actually training it. One thing I still can't figure out is why he's focusing so much of his attention onto Minerva and Grimm. If he thinks that they're close enough to figuring out him, and that's why. But you'd think the letter would have done enough to silence those worries, if it was actually about Gellert than I would have thought it would ease Tom's nerves. But then again he still realizes that Grimm doesn't trust him..

But so far I am absolutely intoxicated with this. The mystery, the love aspect, the details about Minerva's life that show us just why marriage turns her off so quickly.. it's all fantastic.

Author's Response: There's no rush as I won't have time to write a new chapter until the holidays, but it's fantastic to hear from you again! These last few chapters are the most important in terms of the overall Potterverse history - they set the scene for where the characters end up later in life and are also crucial to Harry's story, both in CoS and HBP/DH.

I'm procrastinating with the Hagrid scene because it feels like it'll be a daunting task. Minerva doesn't know for certain about Hagrid's actions that night, nor does she know exactly what Myrtle's injuries looked like. Surely a spider would have left a mark on the body (and I'm surprised that no one at the time took note of these things - CSIs they were not), but she can't offer any alternative apart from the death curse. No one can even have a suspicion that a basilisk is involved. Minerva has a gut feeling that Hagrid is innocent, but she can't prove it. Grimm knows that Riddle is involved, but he can't prove anything either. Grimm will be the first to come forward with his accusations, but it's only when Hagrid is made the scapegoat that Minerva becomes actively involved. But all the evidence is against Hagrid and his spider.

It's probably going to be the most frustrating scene I've written. It will be filled with injustice and anger, and because of that, will likely take up a whole chapter on its own. O_O I'm looking forward to writing the chapter that comes after, but this one... it'll be quite something.

Now back to the chapter you're reviewing...

Tom recognizes that Grimm is too close, and even though he knows that Grimm has no evidence, he can't be sure whether any will arise. Grimm and Minerva are known to be clever, and their distrust of Riddle make them a threat. I would think that, at this stage, Riddle might be more easily threatened - he's still building up to his paternal family's murder, and for all his plans to work out, he must leave Hogwarts with a clean slate. If 3 people suspect him, then there's a danger that more will also do so. It is, however, something I'll keep firmly in mind when writing the next chapter - I haven't worked that into the story as much as I should have.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing! ^_^


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Review #43, by Jchrissy A Bit of Bedlam

15th November 2012:
This is going to be a terrible review because I'm on my phone, but I wanted to tell you that this is by far my favorite chapter. The inclusion of Moody was a really awesome change of pace, as well Minerva's thoughts in regards to him. I absolutely love her dry sense of humor, and seeing young Alastor through her eyes was perfect.

And I adore the fact that we're starting to see how young Tom riddle began his quest, and how even now there are those few who see past the facade of a sociopath and are not manipulated into his charm.

I also find myself really loving Grimm. He's an awesome character so far and his personality is such an amusing contest to Minerva's.

Okay, m'dear, on I go!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading the story so far! Even your short reviews are fantastic - I love to hear about things like the pacing, the balance between light and dark portions of the story, and how the characters are developing. This story has a great cast of characters to write about, so I'm really glad to hear that they're turning out well. :D

With Tom Riddle, it's hard to keep that balance between those characters who don't trust him and those who don't see him doing anything wrong. There had to be someone other than Dumbledore who had a bad feeling about him, but at the same time, they never would have had enough evidence to do anything about their suspicions. I also want to somehow build Dumbledore's knowledge of the horcruxes in, even if it ends up being very subtle. It makes for an interesting adventure in plotting to keep all of these things in mind. ;)

Writing Moody is a strange addiction of mine. I don't know where it came from, but it's been with me since I started writing HP fanfiction. It's fantastic to hear that you like how I'm portraying him!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing this story! I really appreciate your help and encouragement. ^_^


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Review #44, by MagicalInk A Game of Chess

26th August 2012:
"some more furiously than others."
I jut wanted to say that that line made me giggle. I don't exactly know why I'm telling you this, but in one of your responses, you mentioned missing the light hearted tone of the earlier chapters. Now with this kind of comments, you can add a hint of humor in a dense chapter without the need of fluff or awkward romance. Hope that helps :)

So yeah, I really like them as a couple, what ever I doing Tom there? And what was so special about that potions book? So many questions... What dd his breath smell like besides dungeons? Rotten? Poison? Blood?

Okay that was way too macabre. I loved the eyes flickering. I knew something was coming, but the great thing is, I didn't kline when it was coming. I could almost see the moon hiding between dark clouds for the eyes to be darker, but that might have been the lack of film noir in my summer... I'm so intrigued!

Also, Dumbles, enough mind reading for today. I'm serious.
For a moment there I wondered if it wasn't a bit OOC for him to comment on her relationship with Grimm, but then I revered when he did that with Harry and Hermione and you just captured his twinkling eyes perfectly!

Poor Tibbs, they just have to get together, those tangled hands are too cute to resist.
Was Dumbledore's "heartbreak" Grindelwald? Yeah, I love me some Dumbledore/Grindelwald. My other guilty pleasure would be Tom/Min, but definitely not in this story. Definitely not.

Will we see the basilisk? *shudder* He already is creepy without it...

Sorry for rambling, I wish it could be as interesting as your characters' ;)
_val

Author's Response: That does help! I'm a sucker for sarcastic comments, so it's great to hear that they alone can perk up the mood of a story. The part that I'm currently writing is very... dismal? I think that's the best word to describe it, so I've been trying to think of ways to keep it from being downright depressing - including little backhanded comments should definitely do the trick. :D

Haha, we know what Tom smells like because we know where he's been - the Chamber of Secrets. But that's something that Minerva can't know, which makes it a challenge - although Grimm is certain that Riddle is up to something, he'll never find out just what. It'll remain an elusive unknown even at the end, if only for canon's sake. ;) Oh, this chapter was fun to write with all of those dark elements! The story does become increasingly dark from here as it moves towards Myrtle's death, but hopefully it doesn't become too macabre. :P I've been focusing more on how those events end up affecting both Grimm and Minerva, as well as their relationship.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! I look forward to hearing what you think about the rest. :D


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Review #45, by MagicalInk The Purloined Letter

26th August 2012:
Oh ow. I had read this chapter, but not reviewed! *hides*
Silent reading is just a bad habit from when I first found HPFF so please bear with me.

Anyway, I feel bad because I know you want to finish your unanswered reviews, but I'm so glad you're taking this story gain for more writing! Though I won't e able to read so much now. I'll catch up! And by the way, your new banner I beautiful.

And it sort of sparked something in my mind... Myrtle? Hmm...

Anyway, onto this chapter, I really like how there's not only their complex relationship but this plot developing, really nice to read.

But poor Tibbs, I know Min will wake up --eventually, but he doesn't need someone to be stealing his secrets and messing with his missions. Even if they're the 'criminal' in question. Whatever. I had thought he was writing to his father? But now that I see it's his uncle, I wonder what his other family relationships must be like...

The detail about Minerva's brother was so sad. To me at least, I've just read so many WW2 autobiographies and that kind of books that the topic just hurts. Luckily enough my family wasn't involved, but poor Min. Let Grimm comfort you >:]

I really like how he turned to Dumbledore, I've always been afraid of writing him (okay, I haven't written him) but you do it greatly! I mean, even Tibbs trusts him! And then how they turn to Minerva is just perfect.

Talking about perfect, I really like the ending of this chapter, he's so high spirited it's contagious.

I'm grinning like a mad girl.
And on the same mad topic, please excuse all my review typos, silly auto-correct and clock marlin 1 am...

Good luck with this story, I really like it! (okay you got me, I love it) I really wish I could give you some CC :s
_val

Author's Response: Don't feel bad! :O Neither for being a silent reader nor for adding more reviews to my pile - I have a painful addiction to reviews, but I understand that people don't always feel comfortable reviewing, or just don't have the time. To be honest, I'm actually afraid of finishing my unanswered reviews because I'm not sure what to do when that number reaches 0. I haven't had it hit that for years, and I keep putting it off. :P

The new banner rather does include some... spoilers? Not explicitly, but Myrtle is important, more so than she seems at the beginning of the story. ;) That's all I'll say about that! I'm really glad that you like the banner, though. It took a long time to get it right, I guess because, with a story already this long, I want the banner to be absolutely perfect and meaningful to the story... and that's just impossible. But how it is now is more "accurate" than any of the previous banners I've made, so I hope I can stick with this one on a permanent basis. :D

Grimm's family relationships are interesting to explore, but I only do so a little here and there. Hogwarts feels so isolated from the rest of the world, where students only hear from their families by letter, that it feels like a world in of itself. Grimm's uncle - his mother's older brother - is either Head of the Aurors or similarly highly placed in a magical version of the War Office, which is how he also comes to know Moody, whose own father was a British spy. Grimm's mother appears in a later chapter, but never his father - except in letters of course. I can't picture what Sir Percival Grimm is like, for some reason, but he and Grimm don't get along well - Grimm has a lack of ambition that his father just doesn't understand. I think this is also why Grimm has trouble with Dumbledore - he sees DD as too much of a father-figure and feels somewhat threatened by him, but it's impossible not to trust Dumbledore. He's too intelligent and wise - it would actually be stupid to not trust someone like him!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story! It means a lot that you're enjoying it, and I hope that you enjoy the rest too! :D


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Review #46, by UnluckyStar57 Two Minds

12th August 2012:
Hi. I spent two days reading this story, and now I'm leaving a review on the chapter that is the loneliest.

I discovered your story on the "Quality Stories" page on the forums, and I was intrigued by the description, so I started to read it immediately.

It is an excellent story. Your voice is strong and the plot is so original. I love how you write Minerva, especially her interactions with Tiberius... It is obvious that romance is not supposed to be in the foreground of the story, and that's why when you put the two together, there is so much more meaning. This story is different from the mundane "I hate him, ooh, he's cute" fluff that I see sometimes on the archives. You made your characters mean something; you gave them the basics and let them become who they are now. I don't often find such great development in fanfiction, but I couldn't stop reading this one because of its superb quality.

The setting is perfect. I never thought of Minerva going to school with Riddle, and especially not during World War II, but now it all makes sense. The way you tied everything in: Grindelwald, the Ministry, Riddle, Myrtle... It seems like the events you invented were the REAL story.

Here and there you had a few spelling and grammar slips, but nothing that would take away from the story. I've never seen such flawlessness in fanfiction as yours.

You, VioletGryfindor, are a brilliant writer, and I can tell by the amount of stories you've written that you're very busy. But what happened to this story? Why did you stop writing it? You left me with Tiberius and Minerva, waiting for something to happen, for everything to tie together, but alas, there was nothing. I know that I will never forget this story, and the day that I see Chapter 18 up on the archives is the day that I'll be a very happy reader. If you find time in your busy schedule (because I'm sure that you have so many stories to tell), PLEASE finish this up. I need to know your version of what happened to all of the characters. I'm sure it would be an awe-inspiring ending.

Thank you so much for writing this story. The tone and descriptions were amazing, and I can only hope that you'll continue to write more things like this.

~~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: This review has been a wonder to receive - a great gift that's been very inspiring. I'm sorry to have taken so long to respond to it - it deserves much better. Thank you for taking the time to not only read what's posted of the story (so far), but to also leave a review, especially a detailed review. Last year, I lost heart for this story because it seemed like no one else cared about it anymore. It may not be the case, but that's what it felt like, and I could not go on. Even before I received your review, however, I thought about coming back to just finish this story - it was all planned out; all that needed to be done was to sit down and physically write it. The "review problem" is still there, but at least the story will be done, and I can move on.

Novel-writing is a task of unceasing drama. :P

Wow! Your compliments are just what I needed to hear - thank you! I wanted to write a seventh-year story that included the romantic element without it being the primary focus - it is instead about the two characters maturing and developing into adults. Grimm's maturation is perhaps more obvious, but McGonagall also undergoes a transformation, more silent and subtle, but still of great significance. To me, they've become very real people - a danger, of course, but it's helped me push the story forward. The plot relies so much on them, the choices they make, and the consequences of those choices. It's wonderful that you thought this story of such high quality because of the characters!

It's not entirely canon anymore for her to have attended school with Riddle, but there was a time when that was believed to be the case. It produces an interesting dynamic to have been able to include all of these different characters from the series - from Voldemort and Dumbledore to Moody and Umbridge - and show how it could have been if they had all been in Hogwarts at the same time.

When I have time, I will try to smooth out the prose and seek out any typos - five years is a long time to write a story, and I've certainly changed since beginning it. I am, however, pleased to hear that you found this story flawless! Cue much cheering and dancing on this end. :D

There are at most five, more likely 4 chapters left for me to write. I've planned out the ending with great exactitude, but there is still some that I've leaving up to chance. My goal is to finish it this year, and it will be my main story project. I hope to have that 18th chapter up soon! Thank you so much for your compliments and support! ^_^


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Review #47, by MagicalInk Verbal Duelists

9th August 2012:
So they actually know each other pretty well don't they?
It all makes sense now! And I can't help but think of Minerva a bit like a Hermione of another era. I mean, with her background, and her wits, and her wanting to be in control of everything in her life but getting upset when she can't.

But Grimm is a good guy, she should see that if she just stopped over-thinking. I mean, he did humiliate himself to be with her. It's something quite of a big deal to let hivego down at that age. Teen drama.

And I'm laughing at Dolores once again. Slow simple minded girl couldn't think of what to do. I forgot to comment in my last review about the 'thief'. I have this enormous suspicions that it's Tom, more than suspicions actually, but what's bothering me more right now is the possibility of Dolores being part of his plan, keeping Grimm out of his room. Though I'm not sure she's even that smart... Oh is it noticeable I hate her?

Grimm is so romantic, I hope his going to the match will improve their relationship and that Tom won't take that chance to enter his room again. Argh. (

Author's Response: Yes, they do. The backstory finally comes out, and both of them have to face it. Perhaps it's harder for Minerva because of what you said - she wants to be in control of her life, but it's not entirely realistic: there are too many outside influences that she can't avoid, and Grimm is one of them, so she often takes out her frustration on him.

Haha, I'd never thought of it that way! He set aside his ego - which is considerable most of the time - in order to gain her attention and get her to have a somewhat rational conversation with him, and he does this throughout the story. It's another of those things that Minerva doesn't notice about him. He's hilarious in this chapter, struggling to maintain some dignity, but utterly failing.

You're supposed to hate Dolores. :P That's what's so wonderful about including her. I won't say anything more than that.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm looking forward to your thoughts on the next chapter! :D


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Review #48, by MagicalInk A Disastrous Affair

9th August 2012:
Hehe, I love your Austen references.
And argh, that annoying Dolores. It was a great thing that you criticized the society and didn't forget about the war, incredibly accurate and only made me live Moody and Grimm even more, all the while adding some crude reality to the story. And the school thing also helped there.

Slughorn was great too.

And Minerva to the rescue! I also wanted to take some time to appreciate your graphics. I really love this CI, and think it really portrays the best of this chapter. Minerva's leaving was almost like in a masquerade ball!

Ugh. Bloody Tom. What is he doing?
What's between him and Grimm? And isn't Tibbs a bit melodramatic? I bet he'll enjoy Min saving him for the second time that night :P She really, truly cares about him and it's time for them to realize it.

Still laughing at Dolores Vultur hehe!
-Val

Author's Response: Austen references are always relevant, I tell myself. :P And this portion of the story had a very Austen-esque feel to it, with all the talk of matchmaking and breeding. Dolores zeroes in on Grimm in a strange way, and I had an interesting time exploring her adolescent self. She's very much the popular wannabe, and as I wrote her, I thought of Pansy from the books. They're clearly set in opposition to characters like Hermione and Minerva, demonstrating a terrifying sort of femininity. :P

I'm glad that you liked the inclusion of the war and its impact on the characters. It's something that's often missing from Marauder fics, sometimes even from Hogwarts-era stories, and I think it's important to maintain that kind of atmosphere. I liked being able to link Moody and Grimm in this way because, otherwise, they're very different, and wouldn't likely interact.

Grimm = melodrama. XD I don't know why, but I'm drawn to writing exaggerated, somewhat nutty characters (maybe because I'm that way...? *hides*), and Grimm is no exception. He overacts, he's flamboyant, he tries to hard to play a part and it always ends up backfiring on him. But like you said, it gives Minerva the opportunity to show that she does care, even if she still continues to deny it. ;)

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! It's wonderful of you to take the time! ^_^


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Review #49, by MagicalInk A Bit of Bedlam

9th August 2012:
Oh, I love your Moody! All detective since his early years, and always with his peculiar accent :)

This was probably the most awkward chapter until now. And I dont mean it in the way that it's awkwardly written, oh no, your descriptions are as great as ever, but every line of dialogue showed the tension of their relationship.

The way she's so interested in his conversations, and then him staring at her back. Hormones. And the almost love confession! I really admire Minerva's serenity, how she can keep control of herself no matter the circumstances, rare stammers and able to turn the situation on her favor. I knew she couldn't really be jealous!

And do I sense some mystery coming? I'm glad you introduce a bit of that here, I understand a bit more Grimm's relationship with his father, and I really want to know what Tom is doing! I know it's Tom...
-Val

Author's Response: It's great that you like Moody. :D He was fun to include in this story - it was sort of random, but I liked the idea of adding adult characters from the books and exploring what they'd be like as teenagers. (Umbridge turned out more interestingly, though - oh my gosh I love writing her parts in this story!)

If you think this chapter is awkward between them, just wait a little longer. :P Though I don't know, this could be the point where they're least comfortable with one another. I'll wait and see what you think.

Yes, the mystery part begins weaving in here, setting off the romantic plot and giving Grimm something more to do. Minerva has her Quidditch, but Grimm was left without a real pastime. I'm not sure whether it's actually a plausible thing, but during the War in regular history, one hears of all sorts of spying in the oddest of places, so why not Hogwarts too? (That's me trying to convince myself now of my past decisions for the plot. I'm not sure if it's working. :P)

Thank you again for reading and reviewing! :D


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Review #50, by MagicalInk Preemptive Agreement

9th August 2012:
Is Minerva actually getting jealous? Is that why she's treating him like that? It's quite funny to see her struggling so much over such common feelings, but I don't think it happens to her a lot.

He should've mad the Amortentia, but just for her to smell it! I really like how he's always thinking about her and school, quite a claw I can tell.

And then Dumbledore noticing their sparks, that's something xD And pretty awkward too. Was it Tom who told the headmaster? I wouldn't doubt it but why on earth would he do that? What are his purposes? >:S

I think this pair, well, they're really made for each other. They're both so reckless, letting their feelings guide their actions and then regretting them later, alway over-thinking.

At least Minerva will have to be kind towards him. It's too cute :3 Pax!

I really want to know more about their backgrounds, a closer look to Grimm's relationship with his father Whig I think would explain lots of things /and brings new ones/, and Minerva's modest family.
And I'm all exited about that Sluggy party! Will Tom be there?
-val

Author's Response: I don't know if she's entirely jealous - she's definitely annoyed with him for acting like a complete idiot at times (and believe me, he gets worse during Slughorn's party :P). He keeps catching her off-guard, doing things that don't seem logical to her, whether they be in her benefit or not. If anything, she's most confused when he does something for her - she's still at the stage where she's not sure whether she can trust him, whether he'll not end up making fun of her in the end. She's quite an odd duck in her own way.

Dumbledore does notice those kind of things a lot, doesn't he? A regular old matchmaker he is. :P But I was just re-reading this chapter to give you a proper response and I was amazed at how much sexual tension there is between her and Grimm. Oh my gosh, it's incredible! I can't believe I wrote this (I actually like it!).

Tom Riddle makes a wonderful sneaky antagonist, working in the background, messing things up without actually needing to be "on camera". It adds to his presence by only mentioning him here and there, having him slip through the chapters like a spectre. I wouldn't doubt that he was the one who tattled - it would be perfect foreshadowing for later on. ;)

Haha, I'm so glad that you think they're perfect for each other! I love the reasons you've mentioned - I'd never made those connections, but they're so true! They do over-think everything, then end up missing the simple answers (thus getting them into more trouble).

The Christmas holiday chapter later on provides snapshots of their home life, and Grimm's background will come crashing in on him later on... but I won't say any more than that. :P

Thank you again for the wonderful review! I'm enjoying going through each chapter like this - it's amazing to see that the story doesn't need any editing, from what I've noticed. Usually, going back to an old story means having to make corrections and change the style, but I like this story as it is, and I'm happy to hear that you're enjoying it too. :D


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