Flashback alert. :| Haha good times!
I really appreciate this story, because in far too many stories people always get the person they fancy/ love/ like/ obsess about/ worship. And it drives me potty! (But that's not to say I don't like the occassional happy ending. :D)
So thank you for writing this! :D It's amazing how you managed to fit it into 500 words! *claps* :)
10/10Author's Response: I know...I love happy endings, but sometimes you have to acknowledge the sad ones. I liked writing this, though, despite the sad tone.
Thank you for the review!! :-) Report Review
You stun me with everything you write, no joke.
This was absolutely perfect. I love that he turned her down - I think that is what made an impact with me, more than anything else. I think too often in fanfiction, the girl gets the guy and visa versa. But how often does this happen? Rarely. The fact that there was no reason really made an impact too - it added to the mystery surrounding your Sirius.
He’s the standoffish type. Most people want nothing to do with him, and he wants nothing to do with most people.
Did I mention I loved Sirius? Gah, well I do. Seriously, I think he is so much more attractive because of his elusiveness. It really adds to the charismatic personality we know he has.
The repetition was good too - it was subtle, but it was almost persuasive. It really added to the tension of the story, and the 500 words definitely did it justice! The little bit of foreshadowing with the "m-word" was clever, too, considering what was to happen next.
Excellent fic, Mel. Honestly, there are no flaws I can see ^_^
10/10!Author's Response: Your reviews are going to give me a huge ego. XD
I love mysterious Sirius (hmm, that almost rhymed...) I even think there's something much more attractive about him when he's aloof, like you said, rather than when he's this guy who goes out with every girl at school.
Thanks for the review! This was amazingly difficult to write, considering it's so darn short! I'm really glad you liked it! Report Review
That ending is just as painful the second time around. The repetition leading up to it builds up the story perfectly, making it like a song or poem, emphasizing the fact that however much she may think about Sirius, he never thinks anything about her. I love how she understands that he never notices her and she tries to ignore him, but she just can't. She ends up obsessing about him throughout the exam to the point that she has to give up on the exam; there's no escaping Sirius. It alludes nicely to his charm, his magnetism.
What I also love is the canonness of this and your portrayal of Sirius. Fanfic writers are always trying to pair him off with somebody, but maybe he wasn't interested in romance, like this girl found out. It's also perfect how you slipped this into OotP, how the readers know why Sirius is laughing at the exam. Even the mention of the "M-word" foreshadows what happens between Snape and Lily. Maybe Snape even was one of the Slytherins who picked on this girl. It's a short story, but it opens up a lot of ideas.
So now I do know that you can write anything amazingly since this is a more serious story. The language is simple and I can tell that you took time to choose each word carefully. Once again, you've amazed me. ^_^Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Susan! What I liked most about writing this story is getting to write Sirius in a way he's not often written in fanfiction. I've always thought of him as this aloof guy who might have been very quiet and shy if it weren't for the outlet he found through pranks with the Marauders. I can definitely read and enjoy Sirius/OC stories, even the ones where he's a ladies' man, but in my mind and heart, he's a closed off guy who might appeal to some girls because of his looks and rebel nature, and he's unattainable because he has no time or interest for anything beyond his friends. But I also have a lot of admiration for his principles, and so I had to fit his gallantry in there. ^_^
I had to have him laughing at something in the exam, but that's exactly what I would expect of him, considering there was a question about werewolves. I don't imagine he would be able to contain himself; he's not the most subtle person!
It was definitely a challenge fitting a lot of what I wanted to do into 500 words, but I'm glad it came out alright! Thanks for your help with this, and thanks for the awesome review! Report Review
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