Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I decided to read and review all of the Writer's Duel entries! :D So, let's go over things:
Syntax/Spelling: I only have two things to mention here. One, that I think you might use the word "shriek" too many times. ;) And two, that the female version of the word "fiance" (accent won't show up) has a second "e" and is spelled, "fiancee" (with the accent on the first "e" still).
Plot: This was a really interesting take on the prompt! I haven't actually read very many stories that include Dominique, so this was really interesting for me. Good job creating the dynamic between the sisters. I can see my own little sister reacting like this in this situation. I wonder why Teddy couldn't have just waited to propose, though...Anyhow, I really liked that Victoire was the one to go and search for her sister. I feel like I would be too angry to do the same. :/ Anyhow, very solid plot idea and good execution!
Characterization: Again, I liked the sister-dynamic between Victoire and Dominique. I could really relate to that, since I have three sisters myself. Also, I liked Teddy. :) But I feel like he wasn't very understanding of Victoire's situation. Maybe it's because he's an only child, but I just didn't feel like he was being supportive, which made me a bit sad.
Descriptions: I think that I could feel the emotions of the different characters, but it was hard for me to picture the scenarios and characters. I was a little unclear on where they were or how anything looked, sounded, smelled, felt, etc.
Overall, good job! I liked your take on this. Good luck in the Duel!
Author's Response: Great job! I wanted to try and review all of the stories, but as it does sometimes, time got ahead if me :(
Ah, okay :) I thought it might, but got confused whether that was in French or English as well. I'll edit that in later :) and I'll definitely look to a thesaurus for shriek :) thanks for pointing that out.
I love writing Dom. She can be interpreted in so many ways. But, in both my stories she's come off as a negative character. But she's really just a drama queen. Yeah, Victoire is a bit guilty so she's go :)thanks so much!
Really? That sounds awesome! I'm an only child, so I was super nervous about how that would work in the story... But thanks so much! Yeah, Trddy is a bit awkward- he knows what to so but he doesn't understand the situation Vic is in :)
Hm, thanks for that note. I've actually got that a few times, I'm going to go edit that in my document and put it up later :D
Thank u so much! That was a lovely review to read!