Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:CambAngst says:
Hi, there!

I'm racking my brain and honestly I think this is the first story I've seen on HPFF that deals with the "missing moments" when Ron is away from Harry and Hermione during their year on the run. It's a really clever idea and at least so far, you're doing it a lot of justice.

Ron's grim mood fit perfectly with his circumstances and the way that I'm sure he was feeling at this point. He knows that he messed up, badly. He knows that he never would have said the things that he said and left his friends behind it it hadn't been for the influence of the locket. Now he'd riddled with guilt and frustration. You wrote it all really well.

Bill and Fleur sounded just about right to me. I'm assuming that Bill has already said his piece to Ron since Ron has already been there for four days. So now he's become more supportive, or at least he's trying to keep the peace between his wife and his brother. Fleur is tired of dealing with Ron's moping, and yet she's mothering him in an odd sort of way at the same time. You did a really good job writing both of their reactions.

At the end, Ron has found a way to help Harry again, albeit indirectly. It's going to take some bravery to step out and do this. Ron was, in a way, the "safest" of the trio, since he was the only one with a cover story. Now he's going to put it all at risk Bravo!

So I noticed one incongruent thing in this chapter. After Bill chastises Ron for nearly saying "Voldemort", he says it himself in this sentence:

"I wasn't saying that–I just meant–just let everyone know he's okay and working against Voldemort–whatever that may mean…."

Your writing was really good in this. The chapter flowed very nicely and nothing sounded forced or artificial. Nice job!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 995
Submit Report: