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Review:academica says:
Hello, here from Team Blue for the review battle!

I really like the introduction of Andromeda and Teddy here. My head canon is that Narcissa and Andromeda reconciled at least a little after the war, though I've never had them being quite this chummy. I also love that Draco has a bond with Teddy; that seems like a great way for him to atone for the way he was in the main series.

Okay, time for some crit. You might actually benefit from having your beta take a closer look at this, because I noticed a few mistakes along the way. For one thing, you have several very long sentences, which you've broken up with five or six commas. Those would be better as separate sentences, because you're getting into run-on territory and it just reads a little awkwardly flow-wise. I also noticed several times that you alternated between capitalizing "Mother" and leaving it lowercase when it should be capitalized.

It's also interesting to read a story where Astoria is so unattractive--not in terms of how she looks, but personality-wise. It's amusing how much Draco wants to get out of marrying her. Most of the stories I read are about her rescuing him from his tortured soul, but I like this humorous twist.

Nice work :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hello, I'm glad that you decided to come back to chapter 2!

I'm glad that you liked Andromeda and Teddy, as I was swaying over whether to include them or not, but I'm glad that I did now! Yes I'll probably introduce some awkwardness between the sisters later on, just to show that there is a little doubt in their relationship! And Teddy and Draco, I thought it would be fun to make them friends!

Yes my beta was a little rushed with the editing of this chapter, but she promised to look it over again when she had more time, so it will get sorted eventually! Yes I'm never sure whether to capitalize Mother or not, so I'll go back and sort it out!

I'm glad that you liked Astoria, I thought it would suit the title of the story (Uprising), as he's uprising against his mother's wishes! I'll make sure she features more, as she is rather fun to write!

Thank you for taking the time to leave such a helpful review, Kiana :)


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