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Review:soufflegirl99 says:
Hello! This is your gryffie present review!! :)

This story is absolutely beautiful, unique and definitely mesmerising. It grips you - the suspense you build is brilliant with the repetition at the beginning and the fleeting and subtle smile. This adds more a childlike theme to it, creating an innocent and adventurous atmosphere.

You built the foundations of such an amazing story - it's totally unpredictable and original - which is quite hard to achieve. I love the short sentences - just the way a child thinks in short sharp bursts of thought that really give that realistic child feel to it. I love the cliffhanger all the way through - you constantly have the reader asking questions the whole way through - leaving us half satisfied.

I think you've picked a creative and interesting perspective - from Narcissa as a child. You wrote her very well, making her come across as quite a naive and curious person which is lovely to see in comparison to some other nasty protrayals. I love how at first she is scared - which then develops in to trust - and then in to fear again. You transformed the emotions very smoothly, all the while keeping up the certain reptition. the way you simply phrase 'I was scared' is very effective - it certainly made me scared for her!

Also, I love how the smile (fleeting and subtle) reflects his personality. I don't know if you deliberately did this, but it definitely reminds me of Peter Pan. The characteristics are similar and the nature - I think it's very clever if you did base Peter on Peter Pan.

Overall, a fascinating, unputdownable and throughly enjoyable read - with great character development just through short sentences. The way you repeat things works really well with this piece and it is extremely awesome!

Happy Birthday for the 23rd!!! :D

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