Yay first review on this chapter! I love snagging that spot ;)
I liked how you showed that Benjamin’s affected Roxanne so much. As it’s true about words often hurting more than getting beaten up, as they stay in your mind and replay over and over again, until that’s all you can think about. So her angst about that was really well done.
Haha George is great again! I loved his line about makeup sex, he’s just so loveable, if the whole chapter was about him, I honestly wouldn’t get bored, as he just comes out with the weirdest yet funniest things. I really wish Fred was still around though as they did make a great double act!
I liked your characterisation of Draco and his little scene with George as it was done well. We haven’t really seen all that much of Draco in this story so far, so it was nice to see him pop, as he’s a great character. However there are two things bugging me as I hate not knowing things! Who is Draco’s wife, and where did his daughter come from. It’s not just me being stupid is it? As I swear on Merlin that there was never one mentioned before!
Poor old Victoire’s pygmy puff it certainly doesn’t sound like a nice and pain free way to go! Where was Hermione to report them on magical creature abuse?
Benjamin’s really does repress his feelings, or maybe it’s just that he doesn’t have any? The way he treated poor old Roxanne I felt so sorry for her, as she’s just so innocent and sweet. And for him to talk about contaminating her, and for him not to care at all, that she was in the same room, and that he may have hurt her feelings, wahaha he’s just so evil! Will we ever see Benjamin have a nice emotion, not one where’s being evil/manipulating/evil?
I think this needs a space between the two – ‘Nighttime’ ;)
The only thing I felt that was missing was Roxanne as she didn't seem to feature much in this chapter. Other than that a good chapter, Kiana :)
P.S. Sorry if there's a weird symbols it's a formatting error!
Author's Response: Hello!
Hey, there lovely, thanks for snagging the first ever review for this chapter. Its really made my day! :D
I think the fact that Benjamin changed so much is the main thing that hurts Roxanne, aside from everything else. She can't accept that he's not the same person that she had befriended so long ago and coupled with what happened between them and she's so lost. :(
Bwhaha, George is pretty great isn't he? I love writing for him and his lines just come out so smoothly, especially the really weird ones, he's just too funny. Its a shame about Fred of course but he's got Angie and his old Quidditch pals to keep him company. Shame for everyone else, though, its really sort of terrifying to be around them all for too long.
Anyhoo! We'll actually be seeing Draco quite a bit in this story if this goes in the direction that I want. I haven't really thought of how and why, but he's actually not the bad guy in this story, he's just a dad trying his best. :D
I mentioned in the earlier chapters that Draco is married to Pansy Malfoy and Benjamin said in chapter two or so that he had a brother and sister. :D
You already know about Scorpius and Emily is a year younger than he is but I'll make sure to talk about that later on. :p
Bwhaha! I'm pretty sure Perce and Teddy Lupin got into trouble for that stunt with Victoire's pygmy puff.
Benjamin is suppressing his emotions but I wouldn't say he doesn't have any. I think Roxanne can read him better than anyone else can, you just have to read it a little more carefully. His actions are so subtle, but you hate Benjamin, yes? I don't think you'll really care either way. HAHAHA. ;)
Benjamin has his nice moments, don't worry. That's what the flashbacks are for and he won't treat Roxanne completely bad if this next chapter goes right. Might want to start writing it. >_<
I do need a space between nighttime. :p The second half felt rushed to me.
And there was some Roxanne in this but this chapter itself gave me some trouble so I'm sorry if you weren't getting enough from her. It really bugged me, I sort of didn't like writing this chapter, i had at least four different versions! :p
Anyhoo, thanks for the review! Hope to see you again sometime!