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Review:academica says:
Hi Aditi! I've stopped by for Review Tag!

I really liked the fragmented approach you took here. It's clear that you chose moments that could have been extremely important to Narcissa. I can really sense that the woman who would treasure these memories would be the same one who insisted that there was nothing she wouldn't do to help her family, the same one who ran boldly across a battlefield to look for her baby boy.

I like your characterization a lot. Narcissa seems delicate here, very sensitive and sensible about the expectations of those around her. At the same time, though, she has very strong thoughts. Even if she didn't share them, they seemed very her.

I don't think you need a beta, but I did spot a few little typos and some awkward phrasing here and there. I'm sure reviewers like me will point things out and help you shape this more little by little. I noticed that your dialogue tends to shift from being extremely formal to somewhat casual (for example, using "doesn't" instead of "does not"). I think this could be even better if you went back through and tried to make that consistent by sticking with one style.

Very nice work! :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey Academica!

I always look forward to your reviews, so I am pleased that you took the time to read and review this, thank you =)

Its a relief to know that you like the fragmented approach as I was a little worried about how it would work. I tried my best to choose those moments that I felt were the most important to her, so I am glad that you feel the same.

I was a tad concerned about Narcissa, since there wasn't a direct sharing of her thoughts exactly, but its great to know that you liked her characterisation.

Thank you so much for pointing that out, I was a little worried about how it flowed, so my concern for getting a beta, but you've put me at ease =) I shall go back and edit it as soon as I get the time!

Thank you so much once again!


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