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Review:academica says:
I had a moment, so I thought I'd return the favor of your review :) You're always so sweet about reviewing new chapters and stuff for me, and I wish I had the chance to review back more often.

I really liked the way you gave us just a glimpse into each of your lead characters in this opening chapter. I feel like I know a little about each of them in terms of their motives and methods of fighting back, but not so much that I felt like I was drowning in details. I hope in the future you'll devote a little more time to each of them, perhaps by giving each his or her own chapter or splitting it into fewer sections, just so I can get that depth.

I also liked the way you clearly set the atmosphere here; I know it's a different time period, but my mind kept going back to Les Miserables. It seems very industrial and dingy, but there's this unspoken tension always in the air, which is very fitting for a story about this part of history.

The one thing that seemed a little off was just the proofreading. I noticed several places where there were typos ('sure' instead of 'safe'; 'by' instead of 'buy') or awkward phrases ('threaded bare of people'... maybe 'threadbare'?). I probably wouldn't even mention it except that this is your opening chapter and you want to hook people in, which can sometimes be hard with typos present. (And yes, I've been told this myself before, too!)

Nice start! Hopefully I'll get a chance to return :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: You have no idea how excited I was to see your name pop up.

Yes, I will be focusing on certain characters more than others in future chapters, while trying to balance them out as a whole.

Hmm, the parallel with Les Miserables is interesting, and I can definitely see what you mean! I'll have to keep the words 'industrial' and 'dingy' in mind for description in future chapters.

Thanks to you, those typos have been edited away, except for the 'threaded bare', becaus I'm still looking for an alternative that I like.

Thank you so much for this review! I hope you do get a chance to come back :)


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