I have to be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect! I mean, this had Dom so I almost dismissed it for being a 'Next-Gen' but I got curious and then I saw that it had the Peverell brothers in it ...so I just now had to read it! XD
Let me just point out that your chapter image is fantastic and that I'm a fan of all those three gents and their characters. Not to diss Ned Stark (Sean Bean) but Henry Cavill and Michael Vartan as he was in the Mists of Avalon's (my favorite book of all time) Sir Lancelot...*drool* So yeah.LOVED that image!
Anyway! Enough fangirling over the gentlemen. Lets get ready to tackle this story now! :D
I'm a huge fan of the dialogue! The way they speak feels like old, proper English without adding the 'thou', 'thee', 'thy' and 'thine'. Their characterization was fantastic as well. As I read it, I could tell that each brother had different personalities instead of a shared one. I have a question though; did Cadmus have a son with Seraphine out of wedlock? Kind of naughty of him, hahaha, especially when it comes to the age of chivalry. However, the Peverell family must continue in a way...Anyway, continuing on with the Brother's personalities. They honestly felt like real people to the point that I wish I could meet them. Specially Cadmus who is the most angsty of them all.
The setting and imagery was fantastic. I was able to picture everything you mentioned and it had me glued; especially when Death made his appearance. He seemed like a very frightening creature by being 'kind' to the three brothers. The one who stroke me as the best character was Antioch because you managed to grasp his greed for power without feeling too overwhelming and too murderous. The movie and book made it sound like he was a Dark Wizard but you gave him a somewhat softer personality while still power-hungry.
Even though we know the Tale of Three Brothers it was refreshing to actually see it played out instead of just a tale from a book. Does that make sense? It gave me, as a reader, a whole other perspective about the whole situation. You reaffirm and made it believable to me that they did indeed meet Death along their journey rather than what Dumbledore said: that they were just smart and powerful wizards.
When I got to Dom's part I just couldn't stop laughing. Mostly because I'm being a tad bit like Victoire right now when it comes to a wedding. You definitely managed to capture a bride that has no idea of what she wants and driving those around her insane. Poor Dom. Hahaha.
I've never seen her, however, being part of the Aurors so its very refreshing to see a different Dominique instead of the usual 'damsel in distress' that I tend to come across sometimes. Her relationship with her cousins, however, struck me as a bit of a cliche, however that's just my opinion, so please don't take offense by it! I guess I've read way too many Next-Gen fics where at least one of the cousins is always the 'outsider' which usually lead to a Mary-Sue personality. Your Dominique, though, feels well rounded to me thus far so I'm not worry about a Mary-Sue character right now.
Overall, the story really does sound original and if you're worried if it's believable or not...I wouldn't worry. In real life we know that if we mix the wrong chemicals, we'll get very bad outcomes...so why not potions? It works and I really like it! It's not too out there for me, so no worries! :)
Seriously...I can't find anything to CC aside from what I said about the personal feeling of cliche. You have absolutely no grammar, punctuation or flow issues. Overall, this is a fantastic great first chapter. Especially at the end where you leave the reader wanting to know what happens next to Dominique!
So yeah...feel free to re-request if you wish! :D
Until next time
Author's Response: Ack! Thank you so much for this review! It really means a lot to me! You were so incredibly helpful.
When I read it, I was seriously so excited! So lengthy and so helpful! You really did help me get rid of some of my fears for this story. Honestly, my biggest fear was getting the time right, but you really helped calm my nerves with that.
Thank you SO SO much with that review! I may have to come re-request from you sometime soon! Thanks again! :D