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Review:Jchrissy says:
Woot woot!
First of all, you start us off in a terribly creepy place. The singled out line of I always fell just shows us from the start how, even in sleep, this boy found no sort of comfort. I think the fact that you added he never ran to his parents bedroom because safety couldnt be guaranteed there. In just a few paragraphs, not even that, youre already creating such a dynamic character.

The following - I would awake covered in a sheen of sweat, oh Lord. Im not sure if Im making it more twisted than it actually is, but regardless its still staying that way in my head and its so.. shivers.

Oh, nope. I forgot about the line that follows that line and definitely proves I am NOT making it more ick in my head than you intended. It was absolutely intended for ick.

I swear, these lyrics could have been written straight for Severus.

God, youre doing such an incredible job at making this *Severus*. Hes blaming Lily. Blaming Lily for moving past him, for leaving him, not even owning up to his very real part in it all. The more I tired to love her, the more I repulsed her. YES. That just summed up everything I feel about these two. No matter what, their friendship would have ended because his love for her would have just grown and grown and suffocated her until she couldnt even take being his friend.

Now, because I know how it ends, I understand why he thinks he could have lost her forever. In my head I was saying you *did* lose her forever, but he didnt. Not in his twisted mind in this story, at least.

This (third, am I on the third section???) section with his thoughts circling around longing to know what it was like to be her, to feel her hair on his shoulders. God this is all so twisty and sick and its so amazing. You.. missy. Im rather scared of you right now.

How do you make her love you? Even while he so desperately wants to understand, he has no idea. He still thinks love is about control, possession. He wants to know how James *makes her* do it. He doesnt understand that no one makes her do anything. No one makes you love anyone. She love James because of who he is, and you cant possess that.

This paragraph about the dark lord is when things really start changing. Its our first hints of the AU, well, not our first ones.. but the more clear ones. We know that wasnt the day in canon that it brought her to him, and that just sends this huge shiver down my spine because of whats going to happen. Severus can barely keep himself and Lily separate in his own mind. He has no idea of the person she is outside of what *he* thinks she is. And god, I swear this is even more incredible the second time reading it.

He really thinks hes coming to save her. Thats the part Im so, so creeped out by. He has made it so solid in his own mind that he must save her, that hes protecting her, that hes giving her their life.

And of course its still on Halloween. It has to be on Halloween still...but this, what happens is almost so much worse than what really happened that night. All shes doing is taking Harry around tricker treating, just a normal night because in this, there isnt anything to be afraid of. At least to her. No death threats, no hiding... she never even expected it.

Sarah. youre killing me. Im just imaging what you were imagining during all this, and I swear you probably sat there for at least twenty minutes wondering how you wrote something so disgusting and dark, but at the same time so insanely amazing. You had to have just thought, did *I* do this? Did I do this? Then been so proud of yourself because this truly is incredible. Right? Well, if you were insanely proud of yourself, Im insanely proud of YOU enough to make up for it.

I think you changed just enough to make it clear where Severus still was and what was happening with James without making it any more clear than the rest. It cant be clear, because were in this absolutely terrible deranged mind where nothing is clear. But it was still easy to understand what was happening and it was so terrible and and :(. I hate him. I dont care if hes mental. I still hate him.

This. Sarah.

This is truly, truly an incredible piece of work. Its probably the most terrifying thing Ive ever read, but at the same time its so addicting. You cant stop reading. The way you created Severus, the mind set you put him in and were careful *never* to take him out. you didnt have him go from this sweet little boy to a deranged killer. You had something inside his head very much messed up, then it grew and grew. It went from wanting to be her with polyjuice potion, to wanting to save her by destroying the thing that kept them apart. The craziness, the insanity was always there. But the longer he went without possessing Lily, the more it came out. Until he created this Dark Lord, this figment of his own imagination that gave him the orders. That pushed him to finally take that last step into owning Lily, taking her for his own.

I feel like I want to hug you with the biggest tightest hug ever, and at the same time I also want to clean all these terrible mental images out of my mind.

Im just in awe of you right now.


Author's Response: Okay, okay! I’m here! Now, how bad is it that the ‘terribly creepy place’ I start in is actually the recurring nightmare from my childhood? :S Although, I did run to my parents room so that’s okay (having checked there were no scary spears and swords sticking up out of my floor).

Hahahaha - I loved reading your train of thought over that specific moment. ‘Am I sick-minded? Oh, no... Sarah’s sick-minded.’ You’re right; it very much was intended for ick. Poor Sev.

The lyrics - right? I had the idea for a long time, and then I happened to be thinking about it whilst iTunes was on shuffle and Radiohead came on, and it was a lightning bolt moment!

Yeah I really wanted to get the tension between Severus’s love/desire and the fact that it was just *too much*. I think we both know that with some girls (or maybe all of us!) the tighter you try to hold on, the more we want to get away!

I want to say I’m sorry I scared you... but I’m not. Rwahaha. I really, really enjoyed writing this. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my Weasleys and Grangers and Potters, but it was a lot of fun to write something twisted and sick and dark for a change.

You sum this Severus Snape up so well - he thinks love is about control and possession. And then you actually made me tear up and have James/Lily feelings in a *review* (you are good lady!) with : “No one makes you love anyone. She loves James because of who he is, and you can’t possess that.”

Yep, Snape is one sick puppy. Serious mental issues going on there.

You’re so sweet - I actually didn’t spend much time thinking ‘Did *I* do this?’ - mainly rubbed my hands together in glee, cackling away. Hermione’s got a dark side, baby ;) But thank you for being insanely proud of me, you are an inspiration to me (but obviously... not for this story. Ick.)

Thank you so so much for your feedback before I uploaded this, because you were totally right, it wasn’t clear at first as to where he was and what had happened with James. I hate Snape too. *hugs*

So... I’ve been responding to each of your points but I’ve now run out of words because you’re just so kind and your opinion means so much to me, and if I creeped you out and drew you in, then that makes me very happy indeed. Particularly as this was my first attempt at writing any horror/dark!

Are the mental images gone? Can I have my hug now?



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