Hey! Hey! Hey! :D
Guess who's back! Well, guess who's ignoring chapter 6 of His Pack of Four...This girl! I rather read today! :3 By the way, this review was already in the making by the time you requested! XD You don't need to request, just so you know, its like you have a permanent 'reviewing spot' from me hahaha! Anyway, review time!
"Augusta's boy, Frank Longbottom, he'll make a (non-12 word) fine Auror. Him and that brown haired thing both.
'If you're referring to one of my students as that brown haired thing, Mr. Moody-"
That had to be the best line exchange ever written! I laughed not only because Moody would certainly SAY something like that but I managed to picture Minerva's face perfectly well when she was delivering her own line. Brilliant.
They are simply trying to stay out of the war, not unlike the majority of our country."--Wouldn't 'not unlike' be a double negative. Or would that be considered a litotes? o.O
I really liked seeing a meeting take place. I've never read one so whenever and if I write an Order of the Phoenix moment...I'll be sure to come here and re-read to get the feel of it. Albus here is perfect and does act as I figure he would. He's in charge of the meeting but is not calling the shots nor is he doing all the talking. And what Moody was insinuating when it came to Sirius...did he mean that Sirius would eventually turn evil just because of where he came from?
I really enjoyed reading James's part of the story. It sucked me right in that I forgot to review as I went along. The shift between how lighthearted the story felt at the beginning to the now dark times is starting to become more noticeable to me.
"But actually, we're all going together. You're welcome to join us." There, James thought. Now he was the nice guy for inviting him, and no way would Durmstrang want to go to Hogsmeade with all of...
"Sure, I vould enjoy that."
(insert James's non-12 word here)
That part right there had me laughing hard. James's internal dialogue is fantastic. I do have a few questions for you...how long are you planning on making this chapter wise? The reason I ask is because I know this is a either a 2 book length or trilogy fic, so I can't imagine the large amount of work you've put into it and what you still have left to do! Brave, brave woman indeed.
The only CC that I have, which is really NOT that big of a deal really but just me being...well...me. But there was a point where I thought you had missed a typo: " during emergencies so you can be vithstanding extreme cold" I made a mental note about it to tell you but as I kept reading along, I saw that it was the new student's accent. As a reader, I had totally forgotten about him, you know. This, I think, is the first time you've brought him up again since his tour of the school with Lily which was a few chapters back. Perhaps reminding the reader somewhere within that section that he's the new student. Anyway, that's just my take on it! XD I sometimes have a memory of a goldfish so yeah...ignore this if you want to! XD
Anyway, I really don't have much to say about this chapter! Hahaha!
I can't wait to see what happens and where you're going to take this, Jami!
Until next time, m'dear! :D
Author's Response: Awww I was so excited to see you here!! And that's very sweet of you ♥ let me know if you end up preferring that I request, okay?
Hahaha funny you should mention 'not unlike' I kind of struggled with that one a bit. But for some reason I hated 'similar to the majority of our country,' so I stuck with it :P. Sh. You're the first person to notice it. Or to mention it.
I had a lot more fun writing the Order meeting than I thought I would, but I still worry if it 'feels' right, so I'm extremely happy you liked it. That line of Moody's about Alice... yep, I actually patted myself on the back for that one. Or, mentally patted myself on the back. Haha.
NO!! Moody doesn't mean that at all! I'll play with that a bit because now I do how it could sound like he meant that about Sirius... and now I just want to cuddle my poor wittle Sirius doggy and tell him what a good boy he is. But, Moody just means that the auror training is pretty much unnecessary because they all know Sirius is going to end up in the Order, not training to be an Auror. He couldn't handle the new politics of it that way Alice and Frank will be able to.
Thank you for pointing that out about Alrek! Now that I look back over it, you're right, he hasn't really come back up since chapter 5. He's sort of in chapter 6, but in a very secretive way so you wouldn't know about him in there. He's in the next two chapters, so I think evening that out and giving him a small something in one before this chapter to remind the readers he's still here would be a good idea. Thank you for pointing that out! ♥
I'm not really sure how many chapters this will be. I do my outlines in sort of.. important bullet point things. So I list in chronological order the important things that happen, and just break up the chapters as I go down the outlines and write. I'm just over halfway done with my outline, but after Christmas things kind of speed up. Still though, I still have quite a ways to go. As of now, it's planned to be two books. This one ending at the end of 7th year, the next one covering their time with the Order until they..they.. (insert frantic sobs). Sometimes I feel brave, other times I feel stupid for getting myself tangled up in something that is going to make me so sad at the end, haha.
Thank you so much for this amazing review *hug* Be warned, the next chapter has some serious James Lily fuzzies in it.