|Review:||Courtney Dark says:|
Hey there! I'm Courtney, here for your requested review:)
Wow. This was an amazing one-shot. It was definitely one of the most horrifying dark things I've read in this site, but I thoroughly enjoyed it nevertheless. You have a lovely way of writing. Your descriptions, imagery, thought processes...wow. Just wow.
Right. Now I'm going to try and form some coherent thoughts and write a proper review!
I love the way your started with 'Friday, 8:26 a.m.' and continued to keep to this style throughout the story. It gave the one-shot a feel that was so much more mysterious, so...spine tingling. Like you were just waiting for something terrible to happen. Your descriptions in the first paragraph alone were lovely. And the line: 'But paranoia had already wrapped its chilly fingers about her throat, and Lavender couldnít rid herself of the feeling of eyes on her back, burning through wool and cotton and finding flesh to sear' was perfect. My heart was actually pounding as I read it and I could feel Lavender's anxiety, felt like I was in her shoes. And from the very start of this story, I knew that Lavender was suffering from some kind of mental illness-that something had gone horrible long, merely because you're writing was so fantastic!
The addition of the talking women was a nice touch, because it really gave the reader some insight into what Lavender was planning...and where the root of her dislike and jealousy had come from. It also gave the feeling that Lavender was apart from the rest of the world, for lack of a better world. You have developed her character excellently in this one-shot, in a completely different way than I've ever seen done before. I especially loved the line: 'The air was much colder here, or so Lavender imagined; it tugged at the ends of her scarf, yanking her hair from its ribbon and tangling it about her throat' because it reminded me of the Lavender from her school days, while still reminding me that a sinister air now surrounds her.
The scene with Harry was great...and perfectly written, full of suspense. I think that's probably the best thing about this piece-the amount of suspense you have included. I felt like screaming at Harry "She's up to something! Can't you see that?"-but how could he see that? I love the way Lavender acted, like her old, bubbly self, completely masking the person she had become. It was kind of creepy, actually-in the best way possible, of course!
The end of this one-shot...oh my goodness, it was so perfect while at the same time being horrible dark and sad and horrible. And the last line; 'Lavender smiled, and let herself out of the broom cupboard' was just great. Are you a fan of horror movies, by an chance? Or are you just so amazing at writing that you put everyone else to shame?
I'm sorry if this review has been horribly long and rambling, but I have absolutely no CC's for it. I really enjoyed this one-shot (as you can probably tell) so thank you so much for requesting!
Author's Response: Oh, wow -- thank you SO much! That is honestly one of the highest compliments, because I really do love writing dark, twisty, angsty stuff. I love fluff, too, but for some reason I'm attracted to the sad and bitter. :P
Writing the times in each section was something I've never done before, but I just said this in another response -- for most of my one-shots, except ones I write as gifts, I try and do something unique. It's a fun way to keep me challenged when I write! I have written crazy people before, but Lavender was sort of her own brand of insane, and it was actually extremely interesting, getting inside her head.
Lavender wasn't ever someone I was truly interested in writing about, but I got the assignment from fauxthefox's challenge to write about her killing someone in the Ministry of Magic, and this idea popped INSTANTLY into my head. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would! The bit about the ribbon in her hair reminded me of her movie self, somehow, and how she always wears that headband with the bow. So it's neat to see you made that comparison, too. :)
And her talking with Harry was actually my favorite scene to write! Partially, I think, because for the first him, HE wasn't the crazy one. :P True story: I don't really like movies in general, and it will take a lot for me to watch one. I have a few favorites I will watch over and over and over again, but movies make me fidgety. Horror movies, even more so! I can probably count on one hand the number of horror movies I have seen in my life, but that last line seemed a very fitting way to end the story. I tried for a while to write a paragraph or two more of closure, but I'm very pleased I stuck with the ending that's there now.
Oh my goodness, don't even /think/ about apologizing. ♥ Truly, this was such a phenomenal review, and I'm thrilled to pieces you enjoyed this story as much as you did! Thank you a million times over!!