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Review:FredWeasleyIsMyKing says:
Hello :D

Gosh - such another amazing chapter and a dedication too! Now I really don't know what to say!

First off I'll just tell you how much I love your characterisation of Olivia & William and Alice & Belle. Olivia and William are just so lovely! You can see why James is so close to his family and I don't know, when I read the interaction between them it makes me even sadder about Harry's future. He misses out on knowing his grandparents and the great father James would become from his parents love. The way you write them though, they're just everything I'd expect from what we know from canon. I love that Olivia had to drop in about James going to the wedding with Lily. I love how they tease all the boys in particular and it's clear how much all of James friends love them too.

Belle and Alice, and I think Alice in particular seemed a lot more prominent in this chapter. I loved the discussion between the three of them at the match discussing the future of Lily and James. It was a lovely girly chat and they were there for Lily and I just felt almost like I was part of the conversation. I really wanted to encourage her too! But yeah - Belle and Alice are amazing friends. I think my favourite line of the chapter was when Alice had ordered Lily to stay with James - 'James decided right then that Alice was his favorite out of the bunch.'

Alrek again. It's about time something bad happened to him, surely? He was being quite nice to start with, all friendly and the like but I still just wanted him to disappear. He just bugs me by being there, and I mean that as a compliement to your writing - if you hadn't written such a good bad guy I wouldn't feel this strongly. When he was questioning them about the wedding though I was practically screaming at them to stop. Now he knows all the details and no no no! This just isn't going well. I was relieved William stopped anyone revealing what Frank and Alice really are doing.


I loved your letter. That was such an amazing piece of writing on your part as as I was reading I was trying to figure out the code and I think I got quite a few of the bits but only because you had told us their plan. Using Herbology and plants though - yeah it was just really clever.

I think you've wrote one of the best Bellatrix and Voldemort I've read. Particularly Bellatrix - you just have her twisted side and her way of thinking down so well. The way she adores Voldemorts it's quite chilling. As much as I dislike her character and what she does and quite like Bellatrix in a strange way and so I love how you write her and the fact we do get the chance to view what she thinks in your story.

And then we get to have all the wonderful Lily and James goodness throughout. It just made me so so happy to read! The first bit, with the casual teasing and then he kissed her again. And then, bless him, he thought he'd pushed it too far again but she kissed him in front of the whole team. I can't tell you how happy I am with the two of them right now and you of course for making this happen!!

Oh James waking up from a Quidditch accident is just the cutest and funniest to read. When he said 'Morning, beautiful' then McGonagall answered - just hilarious!

Frank's commentary of the pre-match intro's was great - just funny and bias enough. I'm also mega happy Belle is going to talk to Sirius! I'm hoping this means we'll get some more details on the two of them soon.

Once again I have no CC to offer so I'm just going to point out the two typos I noticed so I have at least something to offer!

'Lily watched Mr. and Mrs. Potter exchange a look, a for some reason she was relieved that James's dad hadn't told Alrek the truth.' I don't think you need the 'a' in it, or it might supposed to be 'and' I wasn't sure.

'Evans, you aren't supposed to be in the my dormitory.' I don't think you need the 'the' in.

Once again you have amazed me with your writing. I love this story and it really deserved to be nominated in the ultimate ship off! Thank you so much for my little dedication!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi darling! The dedication was the least I could do, I just hope you know how much I love having you as a reader ♥

I feel the same way about Harry's future. It seems so cruel of JKR to take away so many chances at having at least some bits of happiness. Obviously to make her story what it is, Petunia needed to be the only one to left to go to, but still. James deserved more time as a father just as much as Harry deserved more time with him and Olivia and William ;(. Now I'm getting all feelsy :(.

Ahh I'm so happy you liked that line when Alice orders Lily to stay! Alice's personality obviously isn't quiet as strong as Belle's, but I wanted to give her some time to really shine in this chapter because she's such a constant strength and support to Lily.

Did you get quite a bit of pieces on the letter?! Yay! I was hoping that there would be a few parts that would stand out, I wasn't sure though. I'm really relieved it seemed well done, I was nervous that it would sound like random nonsense to anyone but me, haha.

I am so with you on not liking Bellatrix but liking her at the same time. Her sections are some of my very favorite to write, and she's just such a powerful character. I can't tell you what a huge compliment it is that you think I've done will with her and Voldemort. I still really have to struggle to find a good medium between between this creepy red eyed thing we know of Voldemort and then this, at one time handsome and charismatic man. I want to make him terrifying, but because of his personality. Not because he has slits for his eyes yet or has a body that was created from a creepy potion.

I always worry about the scenes where they kiss. I want them to be warm and fluffy without the, 'oh god, I feel like I should close my eyes' sort of reaction. I wish I could tell you how much your reviews mean to me, but I know there's no way I can explain it. So I'm just going to continue flailing around and overusing the term 'I'm so happy,' haha.

And! Thank you so much for noticing the typos! I'm going in to edit them right now :)!

Thank you again for all your wonderful reviews ♥

Jami


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