Hey Gabbie! It's me with your review! I know how annoying grammar issues are, I always get loads picked out, and I always think I get rid of them, yet more still turn up!
I loved Roxanne's descriptions of the kiss, all those emotions and not knowing how to deal with them. I guess the way she described it as dangerous could be a metaphor for her and Benjamin's relationship as that's probably pretty dangerous as well!
I could see the Weasley spirit in her, the way she was trying to stop Ben from kissing her, yet he wouldn't! I liked how you showed that he used to be nice, as it made you wondered, what on earth could have happened to make him change from the person who helped her, to the one he wouldn't stop kissing her!
A little Brit pick, you said they played muggle baseball, no one really plays it here, I guess the best alternative is football as everyone plays that!
This line made me laugh so much, as it's so true! - Iím a Malfoy, Weasley. Threatening is how we communicate,", I guess it's true as that's how Lucius and to a lesser extent, Draco worked!
You said that the Holyhead Harpies were in Ireland, but there in Wales, I just thought I should point that out :P
"What about sharing your problems and actually getting to know each other instead of just wiping body fluids?" - wah this, amazing! I was roaring with laughter like Benjamin, I really like it when you show Roxanne's funny side, because after all she is the daughter of George, you should show it more, as she does come out with some great stuff!
Oooh she's starting to admit that she really does like Ben! How exciting! I love this part of the story, when they realise they do actually love that person, it's so funny to watch, as you're sitting there laughing at the fact they've only just realised! I'm just wondering whether Ben's feelings for her are genuine or not, as he's such a deceptive character it's hard to tell!
As I have nothing else in my review queue, I'll do the next chapter as well! Thanks for the great read, by the way, Kiana ;D
Author's Response: Hello!
Hey, this is a surprise, you coming onto these so quickly! Thanks a bunch though. :3
Roxanne's descriptions of that kiss really does put her relationship with Benjamin into perspective doesn't it? They have such a volatile relationship that a kiss is something so dangerously addictive that she really couldn't handle it. And plus, it was fun for me to write, although I did giggle and blush alot. :3
I had to show how different Ben was from how he is now. It plays a big role for him later on in this story and its sort of heartbreaking for Roxanne later on. :(
Bwhaa, that line you liked from Benjamin pretty much sums him up for a minute. Malfoy's are the sort of people that get what they want when they want it, even while they're threatening. Scary, yes?
As for the Holyhead Harpies, I had no idea that they were in Wales instead of Ireland. My mistake! D':
Roxanne has more of a funny side but I haven't had time to really go into it but you might see it in chapter seven. I mean, her parents are hilarious, she'd have to pick it up somewhere!
Ah, its scary for her knowing how she feels about Ben! So, so, so scary. You can obviously see what's happening but the two characters can't and won't accept it. So I don't blame you for laughing, adn yet, Ben's feelings for her are something you really might want to question. :3
Thanks for stopping by, doll!