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Review:Pixileanin says:
I think you did all of the characters justice here. In the beginning, Narcissa has this bubbly optimism and radiance and then at the end she has definitely come around to the hardened determination that we see in canon. Your narrative flowed well and the dialogue was consistent with the characters and the situation. I didn't see any grammatical or spelling slips. It was really clean.

As far as constructive criticism goes, I can't see much that needs attention. I will say that after reading the whole thing and knowing where you were going, I felt like maybe it would be nice to see Narcissa's attitude about her marriage come through just a bit, something that overshadows her enthusiasm about the pregnancy that tells us that something is wrong but she's trying to push it away and just be happy in the moment. Kind of like a little hint of trouble. Then, when she makes her decision at the end, it will tie in really tight with the beginning.

Everything that you showed us about her relationship with Lucius fit in well with canon. I can totally see this as a possibility of how things were for her.

Nicely done one-shot!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I am glad that you think I did all the characters justice. I wanted my readers to really able to see the change in Narcissa from the beginning to the end, so I am glad it worked for you!
Its great to hear that you found my narrative to flow well, with consistent dialogue. No grammatical or spelling slips? Phew, thats a relief xD

Thank yo for the CC. I'll think about doing that, and put it in if I do an edit :)

Glad you could see this as a possibility, and in line with canon!

Thanks!


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