|Review:||The Misfit says:|
I was slightly worried at first, reading that first sentence - but when it turned out that Sirius was annoyed at his quill for blotching ink onto his parchment, it was a relief! Ironically, in my Marauders fic, ten-year-old Sirius is told off by his governess for "the blots of green ink smeared all over his homework", which had me gobsmacked. Great minds obviously think alike! ;) I agree with Peter too - it's obviously Sirius' bad handwriting that causes the splotches of ink on his parchment.
I love how everyone is so unreceptive to Sirius' idea of making a map at first, and then as he gets more excited that excitement infects the others! It's so true of Sirius' character - how he's easily bored, and how he literally bounces off of the walls when he's hyperactive like some sort of man-child! Characterization - spot on. Again. Seriously, don't you have any flaws?!
I love the idea of the charm that makes the whole castle end up on paper! *hands a whole plateful of brownies with Nutella on top to you for thinking of such a super concept* I only have one little nitpick - would the Ministry use a beginner's spell for all those Ministry-related buildings? Especially when you consider the size of the Ministry itself; wouldn't it be better to have the book be Intermediate? (And then you could explain that a) Remus is too smart for a beginner's guide or b) he has a secret passion for architecture or c) he was given both Beginner's and Intermediate as Christmas / birthday gifts, and the required spell is in the latter book? Just my opinion - feel free to ignore me; I'm probably overanalyzing.)
"I might kiss you." BAHAHAHA! I've always had a soft spot for Remus/Sirius, but most fics I've read didn't do them justice in my opinion - and I loved the way you hinted at that here, although I know it's not happening. (Yes, I opened up a new tab to see if there was a slash warning. :3) Sirius' ability to speak before he thinks is always a good source of amusement in this fic. XD
Typo: "which, as it was a spell, Beth rationed it probably did." That should be "rationalized that" instead of rationed. ;)
"I think we need to build you a statue." Ohmygod, yes! That would be awesome! Remus Lupin, immortalized in stone. Awwmyfeels. :3 (Can you tell how much I'm fangirling by the lack of my spaces in between words?)
NO. WHY SHUSH PETER?! They're signing their own death warrants there - I've always thought that Peter felt unwanted by his friends because when they were bored, they allowed him to be involved - like with the map idea - but when things get moving, he's forgotten or unimportant. In my view, that uncertainty of how exactly his friends felt about him and whether they would look out for him when it came to the crunch was part of the reason he betrayed James and Lily to Voldemort - he was looking out for himself and joining the side he thought would win, because he couldn't trust his friends. That's quite sad, to think about it. But I digress.
The ink alarm was a wonderful idea - and how perfect for Sirius to be the victim, considering his battle with ink at the beginning of the chapter! And the Critic's Curse was another fabulous idea, although it sounds more like a charm to me. ;) One question though: why would the other Marauders and Beth trust Sirius to write their nicknames on the Map, when he's already proved himself incapable of not blotting the parchment?
Those scenes with Sir Cadogan! *rolls around on floor laughing* How rude of Sirius to poke his painting! (Is it just me at three o'clock in the morning or was there some sexual innuendo in that sentence? :3) Your characterization of Sir Cadogan was perfection itself, and the fact that I'm singing your praises on the characterization of a portrait should be proof enough of that!
All of the hyperactivity of this chapter is affecting me, so I'm really excited at how they created the map - but I think it might have been better if it had lasted longer - say, over the Christmas holidays? That said, I'm completely aware of how sometimes the best things are done in minimal time - when I was fourteen, my best piece of homework done in Design & Technology class for the whole year was done in five minutes flat in the girls' toilets just before class. *blushes*
(Oh, and you know that longest-review-ever-written note I mentioned last chapter? It got knocked to second place - on this one, I have 1518 characters left. Uh oh.)
Author's Response: How funny that we wrote Sirius so similarly! I think the thing you probably need to know about this chapter, from the onset, is that I TOTALLY forgot about including in the map until this point in the story, and literally wrote this chapter in a (very long) sitting. There are certainly things about it that aren't ideal. ;) And that's probably why it feels a bit rushed, too, but I don't know what my brain was thinking, excluding the map initially. Oops!
Writing Beth and the boys in this chapter, though, was inexplicably fun. ;) And even coming up with explanations for everything, however implausible or hurried or whatever... I like how it all turned out! It was just a lot of fun, one of those chapters where you love what you're writing and you can't wait to get it out onto paper/screen. You know?
Ah, you caught my small Remus/Sirius slip! As soon as I wrote that, I remember busting out laughing; I totally didn't set it up to be that way, but I so left it in there on purpose!
Sir Cadogan, though, he's probably my very favorite part of this chapter. ADORE him -- he needs to make his way into more fic! I'm so glad that you enjoyed him, and I tell you, I will probably include him again in future stories just because of how much fun he genuinely was to write.
Aargh, my responses just do not do your reviews justice, I swear. ♥ Thank you so much for leaving such lovely ones!!