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Review:Pixileanin says:
This was a great opener. It has everything you need: introduction to the characters,a sprinkling of back story, and action to move everything forward. There's a moody, distrustful protagonist who has been betrayed by her so-called childhood friend, an antoginst who thinks he ca get away with anything by fibbing his way through life, and a terrible danger literally brewing in the sky.

I thought your flow was great. Without dialogue, you carried the action through this chapter, painting a clear picture of where this girl is in her life and what is troubling her. Without a support structure of a close and loving family, she has every right to feel isolated and angry. Sometimes, I feel like the emotional reactions of this type of character are overdone. Here, I felt her justification and you didn't hit me over the head with the circumstances either.

The imagery was well-placed too. The short descriptions of the impending weather change, the way her eyes changed and how it tied in to her anger were just enough for us to get the picture without giving anything away.

I liked her grateful thoughts towards the director of the orphanage, which shows that she does have a heart. I also found her sadly detached thoughts during her ordeal in the play yard appropriate. She's a survivor and she shows us that she knows how to live through the moment to get to the next. I have a feeling that you're going to use this to tell her story more in the coming chapters.

Author's Response: Oh my goodness; thank you SO much for taking the time to read and review this!! When I saw that there was another review on this story, I was honestly speechless!!

I'm thrilled to know that you think this is a good opener! And thank you so much for your comments on the back story, flow, imagery and action! And you've really delved deep into Jayde's psychology, which is totally amazing! I'm so glad you feel that her reactions aren't overdone!!

Indeed, Jayde does have a heart and she IS a survivor, even at such a young age.

Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing this! I can't tell you how much it means to me!!


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