Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:teh tarik says:
Hello there :) I'm here from the Holiday Review Swap thread.

This is an incredibly intense opening chapter. I really appreciate the level of detail you've gone into to depict Draco's state of mind, his attitude and beliefs and expectations. It's the little things - the tiny details of Draco's body language and thoughts - that really enhance his characterisation e.g. the way he runs a finger along the expensive parchment, or how he goes over to Daphne to point something out making sure people are watching him...As a character he is incredibly self-aware and is rather too comfortable with being the centre of attention. And I really enjoyed the snarky sardonic thoughts embedded within the narrative. His speech does feel rather formal, compared to, say, Pansy's, but I guess it would reflect nicely on the "purity" and prestige of his upbringing and blood lineage.

The scene with Pansy was also well-written, with so much convincing detail. The exchanges of dialogue between the two felt really natural; they were short and sharp and witty and I really enjoyed those brief instances of speech. It was indeed a rather long scene in the dorm, and the narrative became increasingly drawn out and somewhat laboured, with Draco having so many stray thoughts about other things. I think the slowing down of story pacing worked rather well to reflect the increasing intoxication of the characters (or at least, Pansy), and how actions and thoughts become rather languid and slower under the effects of alcohol.

That last segment of the chapter really caught me by surprise because of the abrupt change in mood and the sudden increase in the story pace. It was an excellent contrast to the previous scene with Draco's expectations brought crashing down. And my goodness, your portrayal of Snape is just fantastic :D Every word he says and movement he makes is utterly realistic and pretty much spot-on with the Snape of the books. And the way he casually erases Crabbe and Goyle's memories! That was simply brilliant. Again, so much attention to detail, and so much insight and depth in your characterisation.

Well, I really enjoyed reading this! A superb chapter, incredibly engaging and fraught with tension. I shall be reading more soon :D

-teh

Author's Response: Hi, there!

So I felt like I needed to go into some detail if I was going to make readers realize that Draco in this story isn't one of the two prevailing "flavors" of Draco Malfoy that you find in fan fiction: Misunderstood Emo Puppy Dog Draco or Malevolent Teenage Arch-Villain Draco. I've never understood where either of those characterizations come from, because neither one is supported in the slightest by the books.

I'm glad you liked the scene with Pansy. I've had a few reviews from readers who found it to be too racy or too demeaning but I think you're the first reader who thought it was too long. At any rate, you caught the key point. Draco is in the throes of this very passionate encounter with his nominal girlfriend yet he can't keep his thoughts from drifting back to himself. He really is totally self-centered.

I enjoyed writing the last section with Snape **thoroughly**. It was one of the easiest things I've ever written, too. I just let my imagination run wild and the words just tumbled out of my fingertips.

I'm really glad that you enjoyed this. Thanks for the great review!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 473
Submit Report: