|Review:||The Misfit says:|
Hi! I'm apondinabluebox and I'm here for the review swap! :)
First off, I have to say that I absolutely love your characterization of Draco! You have him down perfectly- the arrogant, naive little boy that was so absorbed in his own world that he had no idea of reality; it was a perfect depiction of how our Master Malfoy saw life at that point in time! And I also liked your characterization of Pansy; she's obviously desperate to ascend the social ladder and sees Draco as her opportunity to do that. I don't read much HP-era fanfiction, but Pansy being a tart is common, and yet you've brought a whole new context and I'm not quite sure how, but you've made her unique. :D
The way that you had Draco make a show of reading the letter and getting everyone's attention "subtly" was hilarious in the sense that it showed how conceited he is (is that the right word?) to think that anyone would care about a letter to him from Malfoy Manor.
Draco's thoughts during the moments when it's just him and Pansy, though... Oh boy, he has issues. Who thinks of their mother whilst in bed with their girlfriend / mistress / plaything? Furthermore, it's kind of twisted that he actually has an internal discussion on his future bride and the merits and disadvantages of keeping Pansy as a mistress; it highlights massively how much Draco loves himself more than anyone else and how childish his brain still is.
SNAPE! SNAPE! You have a perfect Severus Snape, and I really could imagine Alan Rickman bursting into the room in my mind! XD The glare that he gave Pansy was brilliant, and the way he spoke to Draco and then departed as quickly as he arrived was so canon. Nice twist on Obliviating Crabbe and Goyle by the way, although now I'm wondering if the reason they're so stupid and gormless is because they've been Obliviated too many times...? Silly boys; they should know to stay away from private discussions / anything that might remotely annoy Snape, haha!
This is such a wonderful piece of writing that I'm having trouble finding anything to critique, so a) please excuse the gushing above and b) please forgive this nitpicking: in some places, you use a full stop where other punctuation could be better used. For example, this: "read in the society pages of the Daily Prophet. Or rather Pansy read them to him" would look better with a dash instead of a full stop. ;)
Apart from that, though, I can't find anything else wrong! I love this chapter, it's just so brilliant! You're really talented, Dan! XD
Author's Response: Hi, there! Sorry it took me so long to respond. I hate leaving people hanging...
I'm really glad you liked the way I characterized Draco. I really don't like fics set in this era that make him out to be either a little, lost, emo puppy or an arch-villain Death Eater mastermind. I don't think he was either one of those things. I honestly didn't put a huge amount of thought into Pansy, so I'm glad she came off alright. I mostly just included her as an object for Draco to ruminate on. Sounds awful, but it's true.
Draco made a big show of the letter mostly just so that people would see it and not see any message from his father. It's his idea of being sneaky.
Ha, yes, Draco does have some issues. Not least among them is the fact that he's monumentally self-absorbed. So as much as he enjoys Pansy's, uh, company, his mind does tend to wander right back to his own selfish ends.
I loved every second of writing Snape in this. It was probably one of the easiest things I've ever written. I just let my inner Alan Rickman flow and the words tumbled out of my fingertips. He Obliviated Crabbe and Goyle for a pretty good reason, I think. Since both of their fathers are Death Eaters, he's worried about any word of his involvement getting back to the Dark Lord. He knows that Bella and Cissy won't tell because they're already struggling to save face with Voldemort.
The choice of using a full stop in some places was a stylistic choice. I wanted a longer implied pause for effect.
I'm really glad you enjoyed this! Thanks for the lovely review and thanks for reading!