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Review:WitnesstoitAll says:
Hello!!

I really enjoyed this little story! Though, it really did read like two separate stories -- the first scene with Sirius in the demolished Potter house and then the second with his pursuit of Peter. Both were incredibly well written and lovely missing moments from PoA, but they did feel a little disjointed from one another.

It was so moving to see the thin and broken Sirius in the ruins of the Potter house -- remembering what once was, looking at photographs and the long abondoned letter Lily had been writing. I loved the mention of the mirrow!! How he'd like to give it to Harry one day. Gahh. I have such a soft spot for well written Marauder fiction. I think the only thing that could have made the first scene better in the context of this particular story was stronger transition into the next scene with him tracking and chasing Peter -- it could even be a fleeting thought about revenge or finding the rat, anything.

The second scene too, was very well written if not a tad bit random following the first very somber scene. I liked seeing Sirius' lighter thoughts about pranking as he passed Hagrid's pumpkins, and thought it was sort of amusing to imagine him scarfing up the terrified girl's biscuit. The encounter between Sirius and Peter was so tense!! I t was fabulous.. and then the encounter between Sirius and the Fat lady too! You did such a great job of filling in some these 'missing' scenes. I love PoA and found this story to be really enjoyable.

Great work!! Great swap!! Let me know if you ever want to swap again.

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review! =)

Ah yes, there was a slight change of tone there. I guess I could have made it bit more cohesive with better transition, thanks for pointing it out. I doubt I'll make any big changes in this one anymore, but I'll remember that in future.

I'm glad you enjoyed this fic, it was quite heartbreaking to write. I'm still trying to learn how to write a good action scenes, so I'm very happy that you liked those encounters. PoA is my favorite too, and I've always felt that Sirius's visit to castle would have been interesting to read about.

It was fun to swap with you. Let's do it again sometime in the future. Happy holidays! =)


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