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Review:FredWeasleyIsMyKing says:
Hi - the review you requested:

Ok, I've had to read this one through a couple of times... I did find it quite confusing to start with. When I realised you were writing about a vampire though it became a lot clearer! I also didn't know who 'Countess Elizabeth Bathory' was (sorry) but since googling her your story made even more sense!

I thought you were very clever using the Countess for your story. I read Dracula is partly based on her and there are legends of her bathing in the blood of virgins which you've included. This story has clearly been well thought out and you've managed to link everything in very well.

I thought your descriptions were excellent, you really set a vivid scene. I particularly liked the line 'The water is denser now. Its girlish pink of before has matured into a deep bourbon red. I can hardly see my legs.' When I knew it's true meaning I could see it clearly, it's a pretty gruesome thought and you didn't sugarcoat it at all. You continue to do this throughout and I really admire you for this!

I'm finding it hard to give you any CC as the one critism I would give is that it's just slightly confusing until you understand who the Countess is and the story behind her. On the other hand, I like the fact you didn't reveal who your speaker was until the end. Unless I've just been living under a rock for a while and you find it hard to believe that I didn't know the story, it might be worth putting it in your authors note at the end? That's the only way I can think of getting round that. If you disagree though that's fair enough!

All in all, I thought this was well written. Your descriptions are really fantastic!

Great job!
Lauren

Author's Response: Hey there!

It made me smile that you actually had to google Bathory! I'm so sorry XD I think I'm the one who has been living under a rock, because somehow I assumed she had entered popular culture and everyone knew about her!!

I am very glad that you found my descriptions excellent and true to the grusome nature of the subject matter. It is a relief to see that (once informed about the background), you found what I was saying derstandable , it means the text is not a complete mess :D

I will most certainly leave a note at the end with a short summary of who Bathory was/is rumoured to have been!
Thanks again for taking the time to reiview, it means alot!


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