Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Roots in Water says:
Hello! I decided to review this story instead of "Before They Fall" because your summary just sounded so intriguing! I'm very curious to see how you're going to write their self-destructing relationship.

Oooh- I simply loved this chapter! You had an amazing blend of humour and emotional intensity mixed into this chapter. You already have me sold on their relationship and on Tonks' perspective. She's such a fun character and I really think that you've done her justice here.

As well, I'm very intrigued by their relationship. This will certainly be a very interesting story to read, having seen a glimpse of the fate of their relationship before reading. To see the beginning of the end...

Right from the start, I think that you've set up a great premise for why their relationship will eventually self-destruct in Tonks' belief that they will break up that day. Obviously there are cracks (small, but still present) and those cracks will widen as time passes and it grows harder to stay together. Their habit of not talking with each other about important issues will probably backfire in a later chapter and explode in a very nasty argument. And I'm very curious to see what role Ashton will play in the destruction... His appearance in this chapter was absolutely perfect.

This is such a small thing but I think that if you made the last sentence of the first section ("We were that") a paragraph all on its own it would really increase the impact of that momentous statement.

I also noticed a few small things as I was reading. To begin, with the phrase "They forced heat" I would switch the "they" to "it" as you're referring to fabric, which I'm pretty sure is a singular noun. As well, with "we'll, you know" I don't think that there should be an apostrophe in "well". :)

I'm sorry if the latter part of this review seemed more like a requested review... But I can't seem to get my head out of that style. All in all I think that you're off to a great start with this chapter and I'm very interested in reading the next chapter. :D

Author's Response: I request your reviews because I love them, so obviously any part of this seemingly like a requested review would be far from a bad thing!

Publishing this was super scary, because I've always had Dan to beta for me and just run ideas by, but I didn't want that to happen with this because it's for him.. so it would ruin the surprise. So I'm actually incredibly surprised those were the only typos you noticed! I'm giving myself a pat on the back for that!

With Ashton causing issues.. it's worse than you think, because it isn't a him, it's a her :P. I just realized I never made that clear, though! I should probably fix that. Haha.

I've had a few people not love the first three paragraphs, I think because it seems 'too mature' for Tonks, so I'm happy you liked those! And honestly, Tonks in the book annoyed the heck out of me. So I know I'll be tweaking parts of her to make her character fit more into what I always thought she would be.

Your review just made my day... I'm so happy you enjoyed this first chapter! And that the summary got your attention!

Thank you so much for stopping by, you'll see me very soon :)!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 261
Submit Report: