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Review:classicblack says:
Hello, here for the Holiday Review Swap!

Ok first off, can I just say how much I love your banner (simply because of how much a ONCE fan I am)?

"Perhaps he, in his barely tangible silver form, looking not one day older than twenty-five, simply wished to allow himself to waste away like all other men." I loved this line. It was quite powerful because the Baron can't "waste away" like everyone else as he's a ghost. It's sort of like the regret Nick displays that he was a coward for choosing to stay instead of going on.

This was an amazing first chapter. It definitely intrigued me to read further on simply because the writing was so phenomenal. Your description makes me feel as if I'm right there with the Bloody Baron. I loved all the minute details you snuck in to give me a hint about whose perspective it was from, too. I especially like that you implied that the Bloody Baron, as the ghost of Slytherin House, was a descendent of Slytherin, which I got from the fact that he was wearing Slytherin's locket. It makes sense that Slytherin's nephew and Ravenclaw's daughter were in love and going to get married and it's a really cool detail of the story.

This line "None remained in him after what he spent that fateful evening" didn't really make sense to me. I get that you were saying how he had no anger or bitterness left, but the verb "spent" doesn't really match with his actions in murdering Helena that night.

Overall, magnificent chapter. Expect more reviews in the future!
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: Hello, and thank you!

I'm glad you liked that line! I definitely feel pity for the Baron, because it's like his suffering never ends. Sometimes you hear about people who came very close to death and thought being able to die would be a relief because the pain would stop; the way I conceptualize his pain is that it will never cease. That's what being a ghost is like.

You're very kind. Thanks! I'm happy to hear that the first chapter caught your attention and made you want to read on. People seem to like the idea of the Baron being directly related to Salazar, and it's great that you like it, too. I thought it would be interesting because I wondered how he would be chosen as the ghost of Slytherin, and it makes sense that Salazar would choose a family member.

Thanks for that critique as well. I'm glad you got my meaning, and I agree that maybe he wouldn't be quite out of anger or bitterness. Perhaps I'll go back and re-word that later.

Thanks again for this lovely review :)

Amanda


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