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Review:ChaosWednesday says:
Hey its Whiskey from Review Tag!

I like how this is about a time when all of the characters are long out of Hogwarts and have joined the Wizarding World. Lately, my hpff reading habits have migrated towards stories that take place outside of the school, so I was happy to find this!

You included some well thought-out conflicts that I can well imagine would plague the Wizarding World long after the war. There were some good examples about the role of Muggles that created a well-rounded picture of the complex relationship between truth and safety, as well as historical guilt and diplomacy. Fenrir's case was also interesting in that regard, I only wish it was a bit more morally-reflective. Is he really that evil? I know he is in the books, but in a story that promises a balanced perspective in the beginning it was a bit unexpected to be dropped back into black-and-white-mode as soon as the hearing started. Maybe this changes in Chapter 2? I guess we will have to see.

Stylistically, there is some space for improvement in this chapter. Several sentences are awkward, like this: "The man sitting across from her sat frozen for a few moments." Also, the use of "wicked-looking" when describing Fenrir's teeth...is sort of flat, you have to aggree? :P The style all together is very factual. You seem to tell more than you show. For example, you go into a lengthy description of Albus' and Hermione's relationship when it would have been easier and more exciting to show it by extending the dialogue or adding a quick memory, or just descripting their interaction. You know what I mean? I guess I would advise you to go over it again and take your time when imagining the scenes.
Hope this helps! Cheers!

Author's Response: Hi, there!

The majority of what I've written on HPFF is set in the post-Hogwarts or Next Gen era. I just don't have that much interest in trying to shoe-horn events into the time frame covered by the books unless I see a really obvious gap in the events of the stories that I can fill in. I guess I prefer to take the story forward where I can.

I do spend a bit more time focusing on Albus's doubts as to whether Greyback is really evil in the second chapter. I found it sort of difficult to portray him as morally ambivalent in this. He ended up being more sullen and withdrawn in this chapter, although slightly menacing. While Hermione certainly treats him as black-and-white, I think she's the only one.

Interesting ideas on different ways to portray some of the details of the story. I definitely struggled a bit when I was writing the non-action scenes in this chapter.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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