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Review:WitnesstoitAll says:
Hullo!

This was such an enjoyable read!! I'm not all that big of a next-generation fan, especially where Scorpius and Rose are concerned, but this was so fresh and funny and absolutely lovely that I couldn't help but be sucked in by it all. Your scorpius is darling -- woebegone is an excellent term. I love the use of first person for this story, and you really seem to have gotten inside of his head quite well. Call me a Rose, but I think his relationship with his mum is a little sad, too. I couldn't imagine a mother who couldn't be vulnerable enough to spend time with her child without her face and hair being done up. But, then again, Scorpius does make a valid point -- that's his only experience of mother and so to him, that's what mother is. I thought you did an excellent job of weaving in some Malfoy family history and the general public's views on the Malfoy family into Scorpius' narrative -- it all seemed like a very realistic outcome for them.

I found myself to be particularly fond of Scorpius' work environment. It really seems like an interesting cast of characters. Especially Lottie. That girl -- lololol. I sort of can picture this terribly eager girl with round glasses and no idea how Scorpio takes his coffee, but just trying to be helpful and there. She's adorable. Scorpius' interpretation of her seems a little sad though -- that he sees her as a girl with little self esteem who deems herself not very important, being only a secretary. :( I rather agree with Rose on the matter -- maybe she does feel more comfortable with guys. And besides, who wouldn't want to chat with scorpius?? He seems perfectly lovely.

I dont' find myself feeling all that sad for scorpius having lost Rose -- and I hope that he can remain friends with her even if she changes her mind and decides she wants their relationship back. I also find myself hoping on a small level that Scorpius and Lottie get together. Call me crazy (I know it's only the first chapter) but ships must sail, and I call captaining the S.S. Lottius.

All in all this was a great chapter!! I would suggest (now that the craziness of Nano is over) going through and doing a quick edit. There were a few typos through out this chapter, but nothing so bad as to distract from the context of the story. Excellent job, and I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of this story!

Melissa

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