Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:UnluckyStar57 says:
Hi! I'm here from the forums with your review. Sorry it's a bit late... I've been kind of busy this week.

Okay, so I have to say that for this being your first story on HPFF, it's really well-written! I personally have never tried the Every Word Counts challenge, so I can admire you for even attempting this... 500 words can say a lot, but only if they can work together to convey what needs to be said. I think you've done that very well here, but there are a few things that I would like to mention.

With your first line, I couldn't really tell if it was "she" speaking, or if it was someone else. It turned out to be someone else, but I think you could probably add a "he said" after the dialogue so that it's a bit more clear.

Thirst is spoken of as being "quenched." "Clenched" is for jaws and knuckles when under extreme stress or annoyance. That's an easy one to mix up because hey sound so similar. :)

That's all the criticism I have. It was a sad, but excellent read. I hope to see more of you on the archives in the future!! :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thanks for this. The things you picked up I noticed from a prior review and am in the process of changing but thanks for pointing it out. I guess when you read something over and over, you tend to overlook mistakes like that.

I hope I'll have time to write longer stories in the future :D

thank you,

peanuts11

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net