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Review:Serendipity1234 says:
Okay, I'm sorry, I really love the story and the characters and everything, but the way Natasha lost the snitch was just stupid.
I could understand Fiona distracting her during the game or something, but when you're grabbing something you had just been passionately chasing, you don't pause and look away before you grab it. That just doesn't happen.
Even having Natasha notice Fiona after she catches it and fall off her broom might make sense, but the way it happened just made no sense to me at all.
Also, why is Natasha so super self-conscious about every little word or look when she's been trained her whole life to endure people constantly judging her? She would be more than familiar with girls like Fiona and the attitude that come with them. Natasha just has no confidence at all lately, when I think she should have some.
And I kind of hate her for becoming MORE of a doormat in some respects.
Also a minor detail -when Dom and Natasha were talking in the locker rooms, Dom said they hadn't come close to winning in years. I thought Gryffindor had a winning streak while James was on the team..?
But, all that said, I really did enjoy the end of the chapter. I LOVED Natasha and James together ❤❤ they were so sweet and I love watching their relationship build :)
Somehow, though, I almost sort of like watching Molly and Gryffin better. I probably don't actually like them better, but it's really close. They're a fantastic subplot and Gryffin is an adorable idiot, climbing into Molly's lap like that :D I wish I could read more of their relationship and see one of their study sessions working on a project or something. I just love them. They're a great pair :)
Update soon!
(And I hope you don't take my criticism the wrong way, I really do like the story!)

Author's Response: Aw I'm sorry you don't like the way Natasha lost the snitch. I just imagined it as Natasha was reaching out to grab the snitch and her eyes happened to flick over to Fiona and she just kind of froze for a split second and that split second lost her the snitch. Just understand it was necessary for the plot of the story and kind of a foreshadowing for something that'll happen later.

The thing is, Natasha does have a thick skin in like the pageanting world, where she has her mum to tell her what to do and to act like a rock for her. Tash has never had to do something on her own, and has never had to be her own person, so she's extra self conscious because the person she's putting out there is actually her and who she is. And so it's harder for her to get judged by her peers on who she actually is, then who her pageant self is. If that makes sense. And I mean, the whole point of the story is that Tash needs to stop being the doormat she's been her entire life.

As for the minor detail, Gryffindor hadn't come close to winning against Hufflepuff in a math in years. James quit before they ever went against Hufflepuff last year so they didn't come close to winning against Hufflepuff.

I'm glad you at least liked the end of the chapter. I'm sorry you didn't like reading this one! :(

Ahaha and yeah, I love writing Molly and Gryffin more than anything else in this story. They are literally my favorite pair.

Thanks so much for reviewing :)
-Rebecca



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