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Review:my_voice_rising says:
Hello! I thought I would come and check out chapter two of your story. We Oliver/OC-lovers have to stick together, there really aren't enough of us :)

I like that Kiwi is cooking for a hungry bunch of quidditch players. For some reason I feel like cooking scenes aren't written enough on HPFF--I also liked the bit about her cutting the onion and pretending that it was Oliver's face. And her hitting him across the head with a wooden spoon! Ouch! :) It would be nice to see some visuals when they're talking together as it's mostly dialogue right now. And we all love reading about Oliver and Kiwi's interactions!

The food fight was very entertaining. That certainly got out of hand, and it says a lot about them that neither was willing to let the other win. Even though Kiwi lost half of her food in the process. :)

Your descriptions of the other players was good, too. It seems like you know them well. And do I sense some romantic inklings between Cat and Tim?

I like the scene at the waterfall, but it's a bit confusing. It's hard to tell when Kiwi is thinking something, or it's just narration, or who's saying what when it's in quotations. And maybe it's just me being dumb, but I didn't quite get Cat's comment about saliva, haha. We'd all love to know everything about that scene! :)

The photographs were a really nice touch. I could clearly see them when you described them. The one with Cat and Kiwi reading a book upside down was very sweet.

I'd be interested to read what everyone is wearing to a Muggle club, especially Kiwi and Oliver! Also, what did the club look/sound like? Was it busy? I wish that scene had lasted so much longer! You've got to give us more, we must know! :)

Author's Response: It seems so strange answering this review now, when several chapters have been posted and we've developed a common unhealthy liking for Oliver.

But, I will try.

Cooking scenes are just so much fun, I don't understand that people won't include them! I think Kiwi particularly likes cooking because she gets to chop up things though, which is not necessarily a positive psychological reasoning...

Romantic inklings between Cat and Tim, well you have an answer now!

The comment about saliva. /That/ comment. Well, basically, when you talk you use saliva, so in my family when you say something another person was just about to say, the comment is "Thank you for sparing my saliva" - though of course saying that wastes it, paradoxally. Ahem.

I need to develop action and description, I know... I am going to follow your advice, seeing as people actually comment saying my revamped versions (with your help) are better. So, yeah.

Thank you for the review! :)


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