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Review:peanuts11 says:
It's not faultless but I don't think that it's a bad start. Infact, I quite like this.

You've done well to highlight the characteristic between Rose and Carmen. I also like how there aren't huge chunks of description but instead they are embedded with the action as it makes for easy and more interesting reading. Personally, I don't really care for huge amounts of description when reading but when I'm writing I do think that it's important to be more seamless in your inclusion of description. So that there's maybe a sentence more than you're already doing and perhaps not as many similes or metaphors or a variation of description techniques.

Really liking it so far though :D

Author's Response: Hello :)

Description has always been a terrible chore for me. I guess that is why I am a film student and not a literatue student haha

I will try to clean it up since certain parts feel odd to me as well.Glad to hear that you like the story despite its flaws!


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