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Review:ChaosWednesday says:
Greeting, its Whiskey from the forums!

I quite enjoyed this! Although I might have associated a bit too much with your heroin's predicament, but it wasn't only that ;) You really had me at the cup of coffee vs. wrist-watch scenario. That was more familiar than I dare admit!

I also quite like the era you chose, because it is indeed often neglected. That being said, the few of the other fics I read that DID dare venture into this post-Hogwarts, pre-grown-up time also went straight towards the dead-end bartender job plot. But what can I say, apathetic 90s priviledged youth is totally a thing and a crowd favourite, so despite a lack in originality, this sort of plot makes up in authenticity and relevance. My point here is to offer you a warning way in advance: this under-fanfic-ed era already has its stereotypes and cliches, so be careful.

Moving on:I so far found the narrator relatable and the style sleek and easy to read. She narrates in that fast-pased, meta kind of way that is popular and fashionable. In fact, you have the style down so well,I would tell you to get off hpff and start publishing original fiction! ;)

I look forward to getting to know the main character more, and hope that she will not fall into the tom-boy two-dimensionality trap.I trust you to avoid that sort of thing, but it never hurts to excercise caution. There were a few things about your presentation of her that made me feel she might be going in that direction. I'll get into this more in the coming reviews.

Another thing I found awkward was the lack of a REASON for her to be narrating her story. It seemed to be happening in real time, as she was in the bar... sort of in her head? And she even commented on the fact that she was narrating for some reason. And since her state of, uh, mental loosness is bound to vary during the story, she will need to keep on coming up with reasons to keep telling it if you want to stay consistent in your treatment of time and p.o.v. Just a thought! I'll be off to the next chapter soon, let me know if this was any help.

Author's Response: Hello there! Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review :)

I'd be really interested to read these other fics, partially because I want to stray from cliches and partially because I think I'd just really like to read them! It was my impression that this was a pretty original plot line because I sadly have not read any of the aforementioned fics. I may send you a PM in the near future asking if you remember any titles or authors of the stories :)

I appreciate the compliment on my writing. One day I will certainly "get off HPFF," but it's just so much fun!

I'd be interested to hear your suggestions as to how I could keep Edie from becoming one of these characters... you can certainly expect a re-request!

Mostly I chose to write in this tense because I haven't ever done it before and was interested, but I suppose I could supply a "deeper" reasoning behind it ;) This entire story is about uncertainty about the future and living in the moment, and I think this narrative voice works well with that idea.

Thanks so much!!


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