Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:caoty says:
Hey, I'm here with your requested review.

So. So. Suicide. Difficult subject, especially from the perspective of a loved one. Well done for attempting it; I don't think I could. And it's made me sad, which I assume is the purpose of this one-shot. So well done there.

I've got a couple of critiques for you, if you feel like touching this up at some point:
a) Harry's characterisation. He's pretty chilled out here, don't you think? I assume you're trying to characterise him as trying to be strong for his family, but Harry doesn't really seem like that kinda guy... I'm not saying he's going to start wailing and ripping his hair out or anything, but he'd be a bit quieter and a bit more on edge than usual.
b) This bit:
>"We have to be strong today, for Lily. You know she wouldn't want us to be upset." I told him. Al pulled away and I looked in his green eyes, "Just remember she'll always be with in our hearts."

It's a bit... cliched? The phrases Ginny's using, I mean. Turned an otherwise lovely and poignant moment into a bit of a Disney film, and 18-year-old Al ain't gonna fall for that.

Anyway, I hope this review wasn't completely terrible, and I'll see you around.

Author's Response: Heya,

Yep, I was trying to show him being strong, trying not to break down. I did think of writing him, sorta locking himself away and shutting people out (Kinda like when Sirius/Dumbledore Died) but I changed it last minute.

This review was not terrible but helpful. Thank you xx

-Potterfan310


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net