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Review:my_voice_rising says:
Your first scene is brilliant. It's gruesome without any depiction of violence--very descriptive language with the fish market, how some of the fish are rotting, the groceries gone bad, the malnourished black dog. Yet it's something that sets the reader on edge, or at least discomforts them. And of course the mention of food ties in with your plot entirely.

I love your portrayal of the Leaky Cauldron, with the barely readable sign and how many patrons still haunt the place even though it's so run-down. The depiction of Sirius's transformation back into human form was brilliant as well, particularly the mentioning of tattoos that he gave himself out of boredom. It really gives us insight to the atrocities of Azkaban--if undergoing the painful process of giving yourself a tattoo was done in boredom, just how horrible was the rest of it?

"Sirius always thought hed run out of money before he ran out of humor, and now he felt he was hopelessly bereft of both." Wonderful.

One thing that I thought was odd was that he replaced the homeless man's clothes with his own from Azkaban. I do think it's a nice glimpse into the mind of Sirius, and how kind he is, but I think it would be really stupid for a prison escapee to leave his uniform sitting out in broad daylight... just a thought. :)

I like the mentioning that Rachael stole Italian food. It puts her on the same level of "criminal" (in the vaguest of senses) and likens her to Sirius. I could go on forever explaining that better, but I haven't had my coffee yet, so this will have to suffice ;)

We get a really good sense for how poorly the diner is doing. "If somebody comes in for lunch," and not being able to pay the electricity. Also the regulars you mentioned are great; I feel like I almost know them after your short but effective descriptions. You're doing a wonderful job of setting up back-story without even having to elaborate too much.

And oh, I just noticed the last line! So they know each other. Wonderful. I'm glad I stumbled across this story, it's going to my favorites :)

Author's Response: Hello, and thanks for your review!

I'm glad you found the introduction here to be interesting and a little jarring. I was practicing a lot with adding imagery into my stories at the time that I wrote this, and I really enjoyed playing with the sights and sounds that Sirius might have sensed while in Animagus form. I'm also pleased that you liked my description of the Leaky Cauldron. I do find it sort of charming even in its decrepit state, and it kind of reminds me of Sirius in much the same way.

You've got a point about the uniform. I was thinking that Azkaban officials would be aware of his escape before too long, and so it would be to his benefit to get rid of it and not cause much detriment at the same time, because people would already know that he was gone. Does that make sense? I do kind of feel bad for the poor homeless man, though!

I'm happy that you like the word choice and the description throughout the rest of the chapter. I always try to "show" and not "tell" when it comes to back story as much as possible. It's also good to hear that you like glimpsing the beginning of Rachael and Sirius's interaction. I hope you read on soon!

Thanks so much for this lovely review :)

Amanda


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